Tuesday, April 18, 2006

MAIL CALL!

That's right folks, it's that time again. It's been awhile since the last blog and we're already over two weeks into the baseball season and the mailbag runneth over. So let's get right to it!

Two former AL East teams, the Tigers and the Brewers, are off to a fast start, but do either of them really have a legitimate shot at making the postseason? Could they be harping on the spirits of the 80s? As a lifelong Brewers fan should I really be getting my hopes up?
Paul M. from Milwaukee, WI

Well Paul, thanks for the questions. Now as a child of 80s baseball, I am extremely happy to see the early season success of both Milwaukee and Detroit, but you have to look at the big picture. The Tigers have beaten the Royals and the Rangers. Now the Royals, well, I mean come on. The Rangers are a tad bit better, but they couldn't pitch themselves out of a brown paper bag. The Brewers have gone 5-1 against the lowly Pirates and the Arizona Diamondbacks. The Pirates are the Bad News Bears of the National League right now, but at least the get to go to Pizza Hut after each game, win or lose. Now don't get me wrong, both the Royals and Tigers are talented young teams and are very dangerous. The Tigers are getting some big numbers from Chris Shelton and Jim Leyland is a pretty good manager. I mean he took a pre-steroid Barry Bonds to the playoffs, back when only four teams made the playoffs. Coincidently the Tigers and Brewers have not played the playoffs since they added an extra round, or well before it, for that matter. But as far as the playoffs are concerned, the Brew Crew still have to get past the Cardinals for the division and then a whole slew of teams to obtain the Wild Card. But this is probably the most exciting Milwaukee team since the days of Higuera, Yount, Gantner (pictured to your right), Molitor, Wegman, Sveum, Nieves, Robidoux and Plesac. As a Milwaukee fan I think you should get very excited about this club, because that rebuilding two decades is about over and the Brewhahas have turned the right corner. They are right on the cusp, so get excited, go to County Stadium, er, Miller Park sit in the Beer Pen, roll out the barrel and cheer on Sheets, Lee, Weeks, Hardy, Clark, Turnbow, etc. Not to mention they have a guy named Corey Hart, c'mon!

Mark P. of Syracuse, NY writes: Will, I know you had to have seen this $148 dollar sandwich they created in England. I know you are big fan of sandwiches and was wondering, what is the highest amount of money you would pay for a sandwich?

Excellent question Mark. I did happen to see this creation (to your left) from across the pond and I indeed, AM a great fan of sandwiches. But how much would I pay for sandwich. Well I can tell ya, being in the upper-lower-middle class, triple digits is a lot to pay for a sandwich that's not gonna at least take you to a movie after. I mean that is a bit much don't you think? Now this particular sandwich has some weird fancy things on it like truffle mayonnaise, so I know I would not pay three figures for it. I mean look at it! It doesn't scream big money sandwich. Now I could see going as high as $17.50 for a sandwich that did not include fries or chips. But would have to be one heck of a sandwich. The most I pay now for a sandwich is around $6 for a Roast Beef and Cheddar from Clark's. But this can easily be financially counterbalanced by only paying $1.50 for a "Screamer" to wash it down with. For those not in the know, a "Screamer" is what we here in the Salt City call a Genessee Cream Ale. So some smooth suds and some delicious roast beef for a mere seven dollars and some change, now that's a deal.

Paul H. of Schenectady writes: The Mets ARE AMAZIN! I feel they will probably set the record for wins in a season. Should I get my World Series tix now or what??

The Mets are off to a fast start and should keep this pace up. It does harken back to the days of Rafael Santana and Wally Backman. Picking up Wagner was a key move and there's certainly nothin' wrong with David Wright. If the starting pitching stays healthy there could be no stopping them. And if they make the World Series, they should get Mookie Wilson to throw out the first pitch.

Bill S. of Syracuse, NY asks: William, the NFL Draft is practically upon us and I was wondering what you see in store for my beloved Buffalo Bills as well as the draft on the whole?

Well, William, as you know, although I enjoy the foosball, I know very little about what's really going on. I just kind of sit and wait for Andre Tippett, and not Ronnie "The Amazing Mister" Lippett, to be invited to Canton. (Ohio, not New York or Massachusetts) So let me tell you I think the Bills will draft some players who attended college last year and whom have a tremendous upside. The first couple of rounds of the draft can be a crap shoot. I mean will you get the next David Klinger, Akili Smith or will you hit the jackpot and get the next Neil Lomax?? Luckily, my squad, the Patriots, just draft some virtual unknown anyways so I don't need to really know what's going on. But I do feel that Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart will be drafted early.

Voshon L. of Denver, CO inquires: Where have you been? You get on a real roll with the blogs, and then nothing for like two weeks? Just some lame attempt at a blog that was about how you didn't know what to blog about? You better come back at us full throttle! I mean don't be like that friend who just stops hanging out, calling or contacting you and then all of a sudden reenters your life as if everything is just hunky-dory!

Whoa, maybe Voshon should be writing "Bitterness". Well Voshon, I could tell ya I've been bustin' my hump at work or doing my taxes (both true), but I just haven't been ready, but now I have stuff to write a decent blog about. Stuff like the Olympigs that took place in Moscow. That is not a typo, there was an actual Pig-Olympics held in Russia. Twelve pigs from varying countries took place in three events: Pig Swimming, Pig Running and Pig-Ball. And for my readers some live pics of the events:








Byro
n B. from Balboa, CA writes: Hey Willie! How are you taking the Arrested Development cancellation? It's been pretty hard on me and my whole family. What is a man to watch now??

Well Byron, I'll tell you Arrested Development was arguably the best show on TV, but you can find some things to watch. ABC offers Sons and Daughters, which is not too shabby. It gives off a sort of AD feel to it. It's not nearly as clever, but it has made me laugh out aloud on several occasions. The Office is also a fav of mine. This is clever and well-written and Steve Carrell has made the jump, I feel, to comedic genius . Now whether it as good as the British version, weeeellll, that I can't say, because I have not seen much of the Brit version. But a British show I do know about is Hustle. It is a show about a team of con-artists in England. If you have AMC, give it a peek, it's pretty good. It airs Saturdays at 10pm. On the don't watch list is Celebrity Cooking Showdown and ESPN's Bonds on Bonds. I mean what a great idea, give a steroid using, ass his own show. I guess Jose Canseco was occupato. I think they should have waited for Bonds to retire and had him and Bobby Bonilla team up as bike cops on a beach, like the short-lived USA show Pacific Blue or Gumbel-to-Gumbel. Or they should have upped the comedic value and made it Jim Cramer-esque and called it Bonds on Stocks. Well, I am no network exec, yet, anyways.


Well that's all the mail that was fit to print this time.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

THE CREATIVE PROCESS

Well, it's been awhile since my last blog and you were probably wondering where I've been. Or maybe you weren't. But for the purpose of this blog, let's just pretend you were wondering. Well I could tell you that I've been very busy of late, but that would be, well, a bold faced lie. To be honest I was a little bit blogged out. I had written several critically acclaimed blogs over the last month or so. Chock full of words and pictures and stuff. But after writing these blogs, I then felt that the standard for blogs had gone way up here at "Bitterness". And I just haven't known what to blog about. Sure, there have been alot of ideas brewing up in the old noggin, but none of them came to fruition. Now I contemplated doing some Happy Birthday blogs. I mean after all Ian Ziering, star of Beverly Hills 90210 and little else, just had a birthday, but I just didn't seem to want to run with wishing West Beverly's favorite toe-headed miscreant, Steve, also known as Steeeeve, Sanders a Happy Birthday. Sure he has a hot wife and can say he got to act opposite an Academy Award Winner (Hilary Swank), before she was being a boy or a boxer. But this just didn't seem like it was what I wanted to do. Now don't get me wrong, birthday blogs are B-E-A-Utiful, but I don't want to step on the toes of a certain Electric City Blogger.

Then I thought, well I could do something about the Final Four. Maybe a cute little blog dedicated to each of the four schools. The Glen "Big Baby" Davis comparison to former Houston Astros star first baseman Glen Davis was a start. But that was touched upon in an earlier blog. But maybe I could do something on Magnum Rolle and how his mom named him Magnum because she loved the show Magnum P.I.? I mean I was curious to know of if he had a brother named Rick or T.C.? Or if he will be driving a hot car with the license plate HIGGINS1? Or maybe something about Yannick Noah, father of the Florida star, Joakim Noah. Or how George Mason, wouldn't sign the Constitution, until Amendments, and the team the Patriots vanquished in the Elite Eight were from the Connecticut, the Constitution state. But I really thought my Sweet Sixteen blogs would just too tough of an act to follow. So I decided that I wouldn't blog about the Final Four.

So what, oh what would I blog about? Then I thought top myself, "Hey April Fools Day is Saturday, maybe I could do something on that and some the events or birthdays we celebrate on April 1st. I mean there was the introduction of the Gremlin, the car, not the thing a Mogwai turns into if you feed it after midnight. Both Gmail and Apple Computers were introduced on April 1st. The first same-sex marriage in both the Netherlands, which is not where Peter Pan lived, and in Canada took place on April Fool's Day. In fact the Dutch are busy little newsmakers on that day. On April 1, 2002 they legalized Euthanasia, becoming the only nation to do so. Now an April Fool's Blog could have worked, but for some reason I just didn't pull the trigger.

So several ideas and still no blog. What's a guy to do? So then I pondered a baseball preview blog, what with Opening Day almost upon us (probably will be upon you when you read this). But I just didn't feel up to it. Then, sticking with the baseball theme, I thought about doing a blog about Fantasy baseball and the four, count 'em four, fantasy teams I own. But when it came right down to it, I just didn't feel up to the task of writing a blog about my fantasy follies, for now anyways. So, in the end, I just went ahead and let, you, my valued readers, get a little peak inside the creative thought process behind "Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch."