PLAY BALL!

Welcome back to baseball, welcome back to "Bitterness"! After today, every Major League Baseball will have played their first game of 2012, barring inclement weather or any sort of natural disaster, I suppose. But you're catchin' what I am throwin', right? Baseball is back and I'm as giddy as a school girl! And as everyone knows there ain't nobody giddier than a gosh darned school girl! Now, I have some bold predictions and burning questions for this upcoming MLB season, which will come in a somewhat later post, coming to an internet near you next week. For today, I've got some early season observations to kick this season off with a "Boom!... goes the dynamite!" And yes, I will continue to beat the phrase, "Boom!.. goes the dynamite" right into the ground, but don't you worry, I'll certainly be tossing even more inane (it's pronounced insane) catchphrases that are sure to be shared around the water cooler at the office. But enough of this argle bargle, on with the show, as it were!

• Are people really raving about the new Marlins stadium/park? With that pinata or whatever it is beyond the centerfield wall? Here's a text exchange I had with a couple of friends of the blog on Wednesday night regarding this, for lack of a better word, stadium:
  

"The green walls in the Marlins Stadium look rather ridiculous."

"Their unis, the walls and that monstrosity over the outfield fence all look ridiculous."

"They're supposed to be a baseball team for christ sake not a gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) off-Broadway cabaret. Have some respect for yourselves!!"

"Bobblehead museum's sorta cool."

"It's a ballpark, not a campy (not that there's anything wrong with that) Mexican (or that) B-movie."

"I like it, what else you got?"

"It's a baseball stadium, not Mexican Liberace!"

"It's a baseball stadium, not a Nacho Libre costume!"

"It's a baseball stadium, not a Spanish talk show! At least not without Bumblebee man!"

"It's a baseball stadium, not a production of Jose and el dreamcoat l'amazicano!"

"Ha! We have a winner!!"

Now, if I've offended anyone, let me just say "Bitterness" has great respect for both Mexican and Spanish cultures and were only pulling from the colorful (see what I did there?) traditions of both. The intent here is not to offend. You will know full well, when we are trying to offend you and your culture and beliefs. It will usually start with me saying, "no offense". Speaking of "no offense"....

• Where were the bats on Real Opening Day? Pitchers dominated! Of the 14 teams in action, only 4 plated more than 3 runs and...
  
• Every game Thursday was decided by three runs or less!
• Jack "someone's bucking for a promotion, probably the pederast" Hannahan (this reference is funnier and less offensive and weird if, like a normal human being, you've memorized every line of Fletch) is atop the Home Run leader board in the AL.
  
• Hannahan, with a select few is now on pace to hit 162 home runs. That'd be a record.
• I pretty much predicted Valverde and Chris Perez's blown saves.
• Valverde is highly overrated and I was never confident last year when he would come into a game. That being said, he may only blow a couple more saves and everyone will be singing his praises again.
  
• Saves are dumb.
• Miguel Cabrera is on pace to commit 162 errors this season. That'd also be a record. The downgraded defense for the Tigers will see a slight uppage in ERA and WHIP for their picthers, if you care about that sort of thing.
• The Alfredo Aceves experiment is off to roaring start! It's one game, I know, but that's why writing this whole post is so much fun. Aceves is not great closer material. I'm sure the Sox could get Rich "El Guapo" Garces back and he'd probably be more effective.
  But seriously, the Sox bullpen? Not exactly confidence inspiring.
• Also, if you had Spring Training in your "Andrew Bailey's first stint to the DL" pool, you are a lucky duck!
• Rangers rotation is getting a ton of hype, but unless Darvish is utterly dominant, their pitching is above average at best. Although, no idea what Feliz will do in the rotation. All I'm saying is anyone not picking the Angels to take the AL West, is nuts! This of course is barring major injuries....The Angles four starter was the Rangers ace last year, for crying out loud!
• Zack Cozart...know him, love him.
• One of the most underrated players in baseball has to be Ben Zobrist. Blind comparison of two keystoners over the past three seasons (from MLB network via my buddy Jables)
  

PLAYER A- .377 OBP, .467 SLG, 243 average total bases.

PLAYER B- .367 OBP, .453 SLG, 246 average total bases.

Player A gets a slight nod, but these are pretty comparable, especially in Fantasy Baseball circles. Player A is Dustin Pedroia and Player B is Zorilla.

• Jay Bruce can outright mash! Reds should win their division with relative ease if they stay healthy.
• Kerry Wood, came in to hold a lead for the Cubs on Thursday....proceeding to walk 3 straight batters, the last with the bases loaded. Oh yeah, he was 0-2 on all 3 hitters.
  
• Dale Sveum will fit in nicely as Cubs manager...sending a guy (Ian Stewart to be exact) from third, on contact, with less than 2 outs, down one run late...leading of course to a ground out and Stewart being cut down at the plate by roughly 75 feet, thusly ending a Cubs rally. Classic Cubs. Sveum as it ever was at Wrigley.
  
• Luckily the Jays pulled out a win, but can't imagine John Farrell was too happy with Rajai Davis not running out a bunt in extra innings leading to a double play, which more or less killed the rally.
• Tough breaks for Justin Masterson, who had the most opening day Ks for an Indians starter in 4 decades), Justin Verlander and Justin, er, I mean, Ryan Dempster.
• Jamie Moyer will start this weekend at age 49. He is pitching against the Astros. The oldest player on the Astros roster is Carlos Lee. He's 35, making him the only Astro that was older than 7 when Moyer pitched in his first game.
• If you are in a deep or NL-only fantasy league, pick up Erik Bedard and ride his decentness till his inevitable trip to the DL. I was thinking this before his first start, in case you were curious.
  
• Same for Bartolo Colon, except switch NL-only to AL-only. But if you needed me to tell you that, then I really don't think I can help you.
• David Freese is wildly overrated.
• Still waiting for that Marlins offense to show up.
• Lance Lynn....remember that name. Next Mike Morgan!
• Not sure if this contributed to the lack of runs on Opening Day, but a lot of home plate umpires seemed to have wide strike zone.
• Eric Thames looks like he belongs in the Majors....circa the 1970s early 80s...

Alright, well that's all I got for you today...but in upcoming "Bitterness" posts I'll delve into advanced stats, praise Mark Grace, make bold predictions, talk up Ben Zobrist, berate Jose Valverde, talk about beers, give you fantasy advice and give you random baseball facts! But for now, my new favorite commercial because, well, just watch....

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: TO BE YOUNG

On this day in 1944, Joe Nuxhall signed with the Cincinnati Reds and the age very young age of 15.

Now, even to this day it is not uncommon for high school kids to sign with an MLB squad, but at 15? That is still pretty much unheard of, even in this day an age! In fact when Joey Nux took the hill for 2/3 of in inning in June of that year he became, and still is, the youngest player ever to appear in a Major League Baseball game at the age of 15 years and 316 days! This appearance was due in large part to a player shortage during WWII and he would not be called upon again until 1952, but nevertheless still impressive! He wasn't even old enough to drive for pete sake! I mean what were you doing at that age? Obviously, it wasn't pitching to major league hitters in a real live major league game!

"I was pitching against seventh-, eighth-, and ninth- graders, kids 13 and 14 years old.....All of a sudden I look up and there's Stan Musial and the likes. It was a very scary situation."- Joe Nuxhall

Joe Nuxhall is also one of my favorite baseball names ever and that's a fact!

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: BABE, BUT NOT THE ONE YOU THINK

Today's baseball fact of the day is about the Babe, but, as you may have gathered from the title of this post, not the one that is probably in your mind. You see it was on this day in 1937 that the Babe went from the Red Sox to the Yankees. Babe Dahlgren that is. Dahlren was purchased by the Yankees from the Red Sox, making him the second Babe to go from the Sox to the Yankees. But of course this is not what makes Dahlgren a bit of baseball trivia. No, no, no what makes him trivial, or whatever, is he the man who played in Lou Gehrig's spot in the lineup when the Iron Horse finally took a day off after playing 2130 consecutive games.

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY

For today's fact of the day, since we are not that far removed from the Grammys and the Academy Awards are not far off, I thought today's fact should be about none other than former Angels owner, and entertainer extraordinaire, Gene Autry.

Autry is the only celebrity to have five stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and was also the first person to have a certified gold record. So, the fact of the day is Gene Autry is the only person with a certified gold record or star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to have a number retired by a Major League Baseball team!

That is, of course, until Wilson Betemit shows off his all his talents!

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: VALENTINE'S DAY

Bobby Valentine's most memorable game as a manager occurred on June 9, 1999. In the 12th inning of a 14 inning marathon with the Toronto Blue Jays, Mike Piazza was called for catcher's interference on Craig Grebeck. Valentine was ejected by home plate umpire Randy Marsh for arguing the call, and returned to the dugout an inning later in a disguise (a fake moustache). Unamused, Major League Baseball fined Valentine $5,000 and suspended him for three games. The Mets went on to win the game 4-3

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: A LITTLE BIT MOORE

On February 13, 1954, Donnie Moore is born. Of course Moore is best known for his performance in Game 5 of the 1986 ALCS. The Angels were up three games to one in the best-of-seven series against the Red Sox. The Angels held a 5-2 lead going into the ninth inning, when Boston scored two runs on a home run by Don Baylor and cut the lead to 5-4.

The Angels brought in their closer, Moore, to shut down the rally. There were two outs and a runner on first and the Angels were one strike away from advancing to the World Series for the first time ever. But then all of a sudden Hendu (Dave Henderson) hit a 2-2 pitch off of Moore for a home run, giving the Red Sox a 6-5 lead.

What most don't remember is the Angels were able to score a run in the bottom of the ninth, pushing the game into extra innings. Moore stayed in the game and was able to stifle a 10^th inning Red Sox rally. The Sox, however were able to score off Moore in the 11th inning on a sac fly by Hendu and the Angels would end up losing the game 7-6.

The Angels were still up 3-2, but were trounced in games 6 and 7 in Boston. Much like Bill Buckner would become forever linked to, and unfairly blamed for, the Red Sox loss in the World Series that year, so was Moore linked to the Angels not winning the pennant.

For the next 2 years, every time Moore walked onto the field, the Angels fans booed him. They were relentless, and it wore on Moore.

Less then three years after Game 5, on July 18, 1989, during an argument with his wife Tonya, Moore shot her three times, the incident occurring in view of their three children. Tonya and their daughter Demetria, then 17 years of age, fled from the house and Demetria drove her mother to the hospital. Both survived the shooting.

Back inside the house, still in the presence of one of his sons, tragically, Moore then fatally shot himself.

"While it is easy to say that had Moore recorded the save, his life would have been much better and probably much longer, it is just as easy to say that the one pitch the Times describes was far from the only factor in his eventual death."- Steve Hostetter

While Game Five and the way the fans would go on to treat Moore certainly contributed somewhat to his eventual suicide, there were clearly other things going on as well. Still, makes you think about the emotional toll your boos can take on professional athletes.

Donnie Moore

February 13, 1954- July 18, 1989

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: MACK ATTACK

On this day in 1930 Cornelius McGillicuddy, aka Connie Mack is awarded the prestigious Edward W. Bok Prize, that recognizes distinguished Philadelphians for their achievements in education, industry, law, politics, science, medicine, philosophy, and the creative arts. Good ol' Connie won the award after guiding the Philadelphia A's to a world championship, becoming the first (and looks like the last) Philadelphian sports figure to receive what is now known as the Philadelphia Award.

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: R.I.P. CHUCK TANNER

Today's random baseball fact if the day will honor Chuck Tanner, who passed away today. Of course for a baseball fan, such as myself growing up in the 80s, Tanner is best known as the skipper of many a hapless Braves team. He managed some Braves greats from my childhood- Horner, Murphy, Hubbard, Garber, Assenmacher, Mahler, Oberkfell, Virgil, etcetera, etcetera. Of course rabid baseball fans may also know that he also helmed the 1979 World Champion "We Are Family" Pittsburgh Pirates. This was of course the last championship for the Buccos. BUT, our random Chuck Tanner fact is (drum roll).......

Before the 1977 season, the A's were in the process of trading off many of their stars of the great team that won three straight championships from 1972-74. They traded Chuck Tanner's services to the Pittsburgh Pirates for an aging Manny Sanguillen. This was only the second instance in Major League Baseball history that a manager was part of a baseball trade.

You were a wonderful man Chuck Tanner, rest in peace!

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: CUPID THE SPIDER

On this day in 1891, four days before Valentine's Day, the Boston Reds trade Cupid Childs to the Cleveland Spiders.

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: BANISHED BALLS

On this day in 1920, Major League Baseball banished the shineball













the spitball











the disco ball












the pinball











the foil ball











the monster's ball













the moth ball












the grease ball












and all other doctored pitches.

PUMPSIE UP THE JAM

On this day in 1956 the Red Sox purchased the contract of Elijah "Pumpsie" Green, making him the first black player for the Olde Towne Team

This signing meant every team in Major League Baseball was now integrated. The BoSox were, as many know, the last team to integrate their roster. After a fast start in Spring Training "Pumpsie" was sent down to the minors when his productivity began to decline.

The NAACP (if they are for the advancement of colored people, maybe they should change the name to include something more politically correct than "colored people") quickly charged the Sox with following an anti-Negro policy. The Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination (suggestions to change this to Massachusettsans Against Discrimination, so they could be M.A.D., was never taken seriously) agreed the Red Sox were following anti-Negro policy.

The current Red Sox ownership has tried to shed the "racist" label that has been affixed to the franchise for, well, the history of the team. They have admitted that past owners and front office muckety-mucks were highly racist and even honored "Pumpsie" at a Sox home game.

Despite these efforts there are still those who believe the Sox and Boston are both very racist. The most notable and recent person to sate this publicly was none other than Barry Bonds. Um, Barry, they didn't want you because you're an arrogant a-hole, not because of your skin color. What has to really hurt the older members of Red Sox Nation is the Sawx passed on both Jackie Robinson and Willie Mays. Ouch.

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY

Well, now that the NFL season has ended, it's time to turn my attention to baseball! Well, at least until march Madness gets here. So, starting today I present to you the "Random Baseball Fact of the Day". Yes from here until this blogs ceases to exist, or until I get bored or lazy, there will be a "Random Baseball Fact of the Day!"

Today's "Random Baseball Fact of the Day is- On this day in 1949, Joltin' Joe Dimaggio became the first player to sign an annual contract of $100,000!


60 years later, in 2009, the average Major League Baseball player's salary was $2,999, 106 and the league minimum, yes minimum, was $400,000.

Based on the general increase of the median salary of the American male since 1950, the Yankee Clipper would be making $1, 537, 315 today. Obviously this is completely ridiculous, since this is far, far removed from the upper echelon of today's MLB salaries and would put him in the same MLB salary bracket as Greg Zaun, Oscar Villareal and Macier Izturis.

Dimaggio would most certainly be one of the highest paid players in the game, since the MLB salary is rising about 23 times faster than than that of the rest of America. It is tough to factor, but if Joe was currently in his heyday his salary would most assuredly be in A-Rod territory.

KUMQUATS?!

With the MLB trade deadline having come and gone, it's time for "Bitterness" to look at the most traded player in the history of major league baseball. That's right, the ever popular "player to me named later" (PTBNL). Yes the PTBNL has been around, more or less, since the dawn of trading in baseball.

The PTBNL is basically used to postpone the final conditions of an MLB trade. But really the whole thing is just one of many bizarre rules and or regulations that surround the game of baseball.

Now they say the PTBNL allows the team receiving him more time to evaluate their team needs as well the talent level of the potential players they could receive as the PTBNL. But regardless, how discouraging does it have to be, to be a PTBNL? Basically the PTBNL is so insignificant that both teams are already happy with the trade, without him being added for another six months. I mean can you imagine such a thing in the time of the barter system? "I'll give you 6 potatoes for 4 kumquats and a foodstuff to be named later." You'd be liable to lose a hand!

But if just being a PTBNL is not discouraging or weird enough for you, I give you Harry Chiti. In 1962 Chiti was traded to the Mets from the Indians for a PTBNL. In the end that PTBNL was also Chiti. So, Chiti was actually traded, for himself!

But Chiti, was technically on both sides of the PTBNL deal. The PTBNL is usually a minor leaguer, who may or may not already know about his insignificance. But how about the other end of the deal? How important does one feel when they're basically traded, for no one. Well, in Chiti's day that may have seemed like a big "diss", as the kids say? These days, not so much, because it usually means a move to a team with a better chance of winning and it's mostly about the almighty "buck"!

So, it seems that the most discouraging position here is to be the PTBNL. Not many PTBNL's end up amounting to much, but there are a few who go on, to do some things. David Ortiz, Scott Podsednik and Coco Crisp are a few notable PTBNLs that have made nice careers. While they may not be significant before or after they become a PTBNL, they can, at the very least, be colorful and wise.

"I'm the player to be named later."- Crash Davis, Bull Durham

The seemingly immortal Jamie Moyer recently broke Robin Roberts' record for career home runs given up. Now while having given up more home runs than any other pitcher in basbeball seems fairly dubious, it is also a testament to Moyer's longevity. Longevity, of course does not equal greatness, but to a point, it does equal above averageness. Moyer has never been "great", but there is a certain something to be said for someone who remains serviceable for over two decades. But enough argle bargle! We here at "Bitterness" thought it be fun to go inside the many dingers given up by Jamie Moyer. First, a big thanks to Baseball-Reference, and away we go!

• His first home run given up was to Juan Samuel, the current interim-manager for the Orioles.
  
• He's given up home runs to six current Hall of Famers
  
• He's given up homers to Glenn, Eric, Chili and Chris Davis. Juan, Alex, Wiki, Alex and Adrian Gonzalez. Joneses, Tracy, Ron, Andruw and Chipper. Molinas, Bengie and Jose, but not Yadier.
• He's given up homers to Tony Pena and his son Tony, Jr. which no other pitcher can say.
• He's given up long flies to several Royals, Jeff King and Prince Fielder.
• He also gave up a homer to Prince Fielder's dad Cecil
• Home run #103 was given up to Greg Vaughn. #104? That was given up to Mo Vaughn
• He's been taken deep by a Huskey, a Hardy and a Braun
• Manny Ramirez has the most homers off of Moyer
  
• Brooks, Boggs, Bay and even an Overbay have taken Moyer out of the park
• He's given up long balls to Raines and Snow
• He's been taken deep in the first inning more than any other inning
  
• Kevin Bass, Tim Salmon, Benji Gil, a Marlin and a Devil Ray have all gone deep off of Moyer
• Bill Madlock and Dave Justice have taken him over the wall
• He's given homers to someone from every continent except for Antarctica
  
• Gates, Wells and Stairs also homered off of him
• He's given up bombs to Brewers, Rangers, Mariners, Fielders, a Hunter and a Sander
• Red Sox, White Sox and one Schu have taken him deep
• He's been taken deep by Phillies, a Phil and a Phillips
  
• Blue Jays, Cardinals and Orioles have hit long balls off of him
  
• He's been taken deep by a Wade, a Trot and a Pat
• A Herr and a Man-ny have homered off him
  
• And he's given up dingers to a Hill and a Dale, but no Valle

WTF?!

With the Major League Baseball at it's All-Star break, it's of course time for the "47th Annual Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch All-W.T.F. Teams". For those of you who missed the announcing of the previous 46 years of "Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch All-WTF Teams" and don't know what W.T.F. is, it stands for "What The Fiddlesticks?!" You see these are teams comprised of players that have produced stats in the first half of the season that are, let us just say, not in tune, with their expected production. Now we don't divvy up the teams by leagues. Oh, no-no, we divide them by whether their stats are above or below expectations. So, without further ado, on with the show:

TEXAS OUT-OF-RANGERS
C-John Buck, Blue Jays- Like many of the Blue Jays, Big Buck Hunter has been htting a bit above his paygrade.

1B-Troy Glaus, Braves- The oft-injured Glaus, has been more like a semi-Glaus the past couple seasons, but even a healthy Glaus and his aging bones are out hitting expectations.

2B-Kelly Johnson, Diamondbacks- Now sure, I did have Rage KJ as a preseason fantasy sleeper, seeing as how he all but disappeared off of everyone's radar last season, but he has done way more than even I could have ever imagined.

3B-Casey McGeehee, Brewers- A solid start to his career last season, but me thinks he be hittin' a bit over his head.

SS-Alex Gonzalez, Blue Jays- Sea Bass, yes Sea Bass (thanks to Baseball-Refernce for that nickname tidbit), has bopped 17 dingers thus far, a total that he has only topped twice in his 11 previous major league seasons.

OF-Jose Bautista, Blue Jays- He's already beaten his career high tater total (try saying that five times fast!) at the break! In fact he's already beaten that career tater total by 8!

OF-Chris Young, Diamondbacks- Now sure, he's had plenty of hype, and the dingers are for real, but his average is up above where it belongs. Regression is on the way!

OF-Nick Swisher, Yankees- Much like C.Y., Swisher's home runs are no lie, with that right field porch in Yankee Stadium being like 50 feet from home plate. But also like C.Y., the average is due for a regression.
BENCH
3B-Scott Rolen, Reds- Much like Troy Glaus, Rolen has been oft-injured and is raking like he's 27 again, which makes ya take a bit of a double take when you see the numbers.

IF-Ty Wigginton, Orioles- Wiggy was gettin jiggy early on, and yes he's cooled, but not enough to not make the 2010 overachiever squad.

OF-Alfonso Soriano, Cubs- He's been on a steady decline the past few years and a major drain on the Cubbies' financially. Now, while he's no longer a 40-40 candidate, he could get back to the 30 homer mark, and that's something of a surprise.

OF-Cory Hart, Brewers- He hasn't been wearing his sunglasses at night, and that seems to have made all the difference. Dude's got 65 steaks at the break, which is impressive for a guy who has never managed more than 91 in a season, in his short career. Either he's finally putting it altogether or he's just having a ridiculously lucky first half.
IF-Juan Uribe, Giants- It's possible that if Charlie Manuel wanted a good utility guy for the All-Star team, he could have chosen Uribe over Omar Infante. Seeing as how Uribe has been far better than the worse All-Star ever picked, that was not his team's sole representative.

PITCHERS
R.A. Dickey, Mets- Nothing really pointed to this breakout in Flushing.

Barry Zito, Giants- Were the stories of his demise, greatly exaggerated?

Carlos Silva, Cubs- Silva was just about literally the worst regular starting pitcher in the league last year, so even a mediocre start to this year would have landed him on this team.

Carl Pavano, Twins- Pavano's actually pitching like everyone thought he would after that '04 campaign. Who woulda thunk it?
Jon Rauch, Twins- A lot of people went into "panic mode" when Joe Nathan went down in Spring Training, but Rauch has more than stepped up.

Matt Capps, Nationals- No one, okay not a lot of people, saw Cappie being a solid closer for the Nats and that's good enough for "Bitterness"!

MYLANTA BRAVES
C-Matt Wieters, Baltimore Orioles- A bit harsh, since he barely has a full season under his belt, sure. He has been decent, but he was spit out of the Hype-a-tron 3000, and while that's not his fault, it'll still land him on the 2010 underachievers.

1B-Mark Tiexeira, Yankees- Another slow start for Tex, but unlike past years, he really hasn't turned it on yet.

2B-Aaron Hill, Blue Jays- A former All-Star, who actually finished 12th in AL MVP voting last year, hitting below the Mendoza Line? Welcome to the team!

3B-Aramis Ramirez, Cubs- Aramis was terrible, then got injured, came back and started hitting somewhat. So he may be back on track, but the first half numbers are still bad, so he makes the squad.

SS-Yunel Escobar, Braves- Not a superstar by any means, but he's been solid in his short MLB career, and this year has been abysmalistic for YEscobar.

OF-Adam Lind, Blue Jays- After a breakout campaign last season, Lind has been struggling mightily, even going several weeks between multi-hit games.

OF-Shane Victorino, Phillies- The Flyin' Hawaiian has seen a lot more of hits fly outta the park, but his BA and OBP, are way down. But the dude can rock a white suit!

OF-Jason Bay, Mets- I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, the Metropolitans were looking for a bit more than 6 dingers at the break from the Bayniac. And before anyone blames the power outage on his playing in the vast expanses of Citi Field, just know he has almost 30 more homers on the road in his career. Even whilst playing with the Red Sox last year, he hit 15 HRs at Fenway, while socking 21 on the road!

BENCH
OF-Melky Cabrera, Braves- Now no one was expecting an All-Star season out of the "Melk Man", but .259, 3 HRs and 24 RBIs?

IF-Chone Figgins, Mariners- Not surprising to me, but until recently, the much ballyhooed off-season signing by the Ms, had been a major disappointment.

3B-Chase Headley, Padres- A solid finish to last season, had Chase as a sleeper going into 2010, but after a hot start, Headley has been merely mediocre.

1B-Carlos Pena, Rays- No one was expecting Carlos to compete for any batting titles, but .203 is bad, even for him. Couple that with a .415 slugging percentage, and he ends up here.

2B-Akinori Iwamura, Pirates- Iwamura looked like a sneaky good signing by the Buccos, but he has been awful, and lost his starting gig to rookie Neil Walker.

PITCHERS
Ricky Nolasco, Marlins- Going into last year Ricky was one of the up and coming pitchers in the majors. So what did he do? Pitched so badly, he was sent to Triple-A. He then returned and pitched to expectations in the second half, leaving him ready to make the emerge as an ace this year, right? Wrong. Once again Nolasco has struggled in the first half, although not as mightily as in '09, but mightily enough to earn a spot on this squad.

Dan Haren, Diamondbacks- Usually, Danny boy saves his struggles for the second half, but I guess he decided to get ahead this year.

Wandy Rodriguez, Astros- "Magic" Wandy, has been anything but, this year. He took a big leap forward last year, but must not have said, "Mother may I?" as he has fallen way back this season.

Javier Vazquez, Yankees- While it comes as no surprise to this blogger, Javy's return to the A.L., has been a bit shaky. Oh, and if you think it's because of his home park, think again. His E.R.A. is actually higher on the road.

Carlos Zambrano, Cubs- Unless you live under a rock that does not get MLB Network, you don't need this one explained.

Trevor Hoffman, Brewers- We all knew age was catching up with the all-time saves leader, but it appears to have not only caught up with him, but also tossed him around a bit and stole his ability to get guys out.

Joba Chamberlain, Yankees- The supposed heir apparent to Mariano Rivera's throne in New York, is carrying an E.R.A. up over 5.00 at the break. Yikes!

Well there are your "47th Annual Bitterness is a Fish you Can Catch All-W.T.F. Teams"! Hope you enjoyed and keep on, keep on truckin'!

BURNING QUESTIONS, BOLDISH PREDICTIONS AND OPENING NIGHT THOUGHTS

The wait is over! Baseball is back and so is "Bitterness", with our burning questions and boldish predictions for the 2010 MLB season.

BURNING QUESTIONS

• Is there anyone in the Cubs organization that should not be on the hot seat?
• Can the "Pitcher Whisperer" Dave Duncan work his magic on Brad Penny?
• Is anyone else not jumping on the Mariners bandwagon? Yes they have King Felix and Cliff Lee, but who's at the back end of that rotation?
• And how is Carlos Silva in a Major League rotation?
• What would ever, ever, ever possess Jayson Werth to shave off that gorgeous beard? Really the only thing I did not love about Jayson Werth was his weird beatnik soul patch thingamabob.
• Where have you gone Rocky Biddle?
• Why have I not been calling Tommy Hanson "Jump Street" sooner than now?
• Can Brian Bannister be the next Mark Gubicza?
• Do the Astros understand the term "scouting"?
• Will anyone suffer more injuries than the Mets?
  
• What's the over under on number of days Nick Johnson spends on the DL?
• Can Jason Heyward actually hit the moon with a batted ball?
• Will the Giants be able to scrape together enough runs to take the NL West?
• Will anyone try to top Kyle Blanks' afro?
• What is Billy Beane doing?
• Has anyone asked Jamie Moyer how he used to pitch Babe Ruth?
• Why would you build a new baseball field in Minnesota without at least a retractable roof?
• Can everyone just cool it with all the "run prevention" talk when talking about the Red Sox?

BOLDISH PREDICTIONS

• Jay Bruce will hit 40+ home runs.
• Roy Halladay will not win 20 games, nor will he win the Cy Young award.
• Tim Lincecum will not win the Cy Young award.
• Joe Mauer will hit less than 25 homers.
• Adrian Gonzalez will not still be a Padre after the trade deadline.
• Javier Vazquez will spend time on the DL after incurring the wrath of CC when taking his last piece of pregame deep dish pizza.
• The Mariners will not make the playoffs.
• Tim McCarver will still be an old coot spittin' out all sortsa assinine.
• Nick Johnson will get injured.
• Curtis Granderson will hit less than 30 home runs.
• Evan Longoria will drive in at least 125 runs.
• Chan Ho Park will not last the whole season as a Yankee.
• Zank Grienke will still be outstanding.
• The Mets brass will try and hire Jack Klugman, TV's Quincy, MD to try and keep them healthy, but only after negotiations with Alan Alda break down. They will then realize that Mr. Klugman is no longer among the living. Dr. Quinn, stay by your phone.
• Sean Rodriguez will be the American League Rookie of the Year.
• Travis Snider will have a breakout year.
  
• The A's, Pirates, Astros, Nationals and Royals will all have losing records.
• The Orioles will win 80 games and finsh 4th in the AL East.
• The Reds and Dodgers won't make the playoffs.
• Milton Bradley will be ejected from 2 games this year.
• Bobby Cox will be ejected from 4.
  
• No more than 3 pitchers will win 20 or more games.
• No fewer than 7 eating establishments in the greater D.C. area will have a Strasburger. And they will all feature extra cheese!

And now for some of your more "traditional" predictions:
AL East- Red Sox, Yankees, Rays, Orioles, Blue Jays
Al Central- White Sox, Twins, Tigers, Indians, Royals
Al West- Angels,Ranger, Mariners, Athletics

NL East- Phillies, Braves, Marlins, Mets, Nationals
NL Central- Cardinals, Cubs, Brewers, Reds, Astros, Pirates
NL West- Rockies, Giants, Dodgers, Diamonbacks, Padres

Wildcards- Yankees and Braves

ALCS- Red Sox over Yankees
NLCS- Phillies over Rockies

World Series- Red Sox over Phillies

AL MVP- Alex Rodriguez
NL MVP- Ryan Braun

AL Cy Young- Jake Peavy
NL Cy Young- Josh Johnson

AL ROY- Sean Rodriguez
NL ROY- Jason Heyward (how could ya not?)

OPENING NIGHT THOUGHTS

• Neil Diamond performing "Sweet Caroline" live in the middle of the 8th inning with a sweet "Keep the Dodgers in Brooklyn" jacket was as good as it gets!
• Pretty nice having Pedro throw out the first pitch. I did not hear any "Who's Your Daddy?" chants.
  
• Nice ovation for Mike Lowell.
• The game itself was pretty exciting.
  
• I predicted the Red Sox would win 8-6. Pretty close.
• Yankees bullpen had a pretty shaky start. I'm just saying, Joe Girardi, Chan Ho Park may not be your best bet in any sort of clutch situation?
• Why would ESPN blackout the game in Boston and New York? It was the only game on! Sunday Night Baseball is never blacked out. NEVER! Imagine my dismay when I went to watch the game this morning to see if I could spot myself in the crowd, only to find I had 3 hours of ESPN News on the DVR. Blast!
  
• I did find $5 on the sidewalk on the way home. Jack....pot!
  
• And of course this:

Go baseball, enjoy the season!!

CIRCUS ACTA

Finally! Finally, the Nationals let that dead weight, known as Manny Acta, go. I think I can speak for every member of National Nation, when I say, it is about frickin' time! You can only give a man so many chances. Manny Acta couldn't win despite being handed all the tools to make it happen.

Terrible General Manager? Check.

Awful farm system? You betcha.

More corner outfielders to clog the basepaths than you can wag a stick at? Most definitely.

Young malcontents? Of course.

An ace to carry the pitching staff? Um, hell-ooooo, John Lannan

Solid bullpen? Two words....Joel Hanrahan

The point here, is it's Crystal Pepsi clear that Manny Acta was given every chance possible to succeed. I mean how long could this go on for?

At some point the Nats front office had to be all, "Alright, we can't take anymore. How many more weapons can we give him to fritter away? It's like we've got the perfect blueprint for a top notch house, but our contractor doesn't know where the walls go! Honestly people, I cannot think of another major league manager who could not win with what we're giving him! It's ri-galdarn-diculous! He is ruining this storied franchise!"

So, fare-the-well Manny Acta. I don't know how you lasted this long, or how you will ever get another job in baseball, after ruining the sport altogether, in our nation's capital? But best of luck to ya, wherever you may land.

THE SCIENCE OF MARK TEXIERA

This is Josh Peck from Nickelodeon's Drake and Josh circa 2003, or is it? Is it "Josh"? Is it?! Or is it Mark Texiera, who has somehow mastered the intricacies of the space-time continuum and possibly cloning, when he was fourteen? Goin' back in time, creating an alternate self, changing his name so he could pursue his first love, acting? Hmmm? Hmmm?! Two Mark Texieras in one universe?! Or is it two Josh Pecks?! bet your mind is blown. But for further proof, I give you Exhibit X:



A picture is worth a thousand words, my friends.

IRABU-YAH?!

Earlier in the season I had wondered to myself what happened to Gustavo Chacin and the within a couple of days I saw a little blurb that he was in the Phillies system. Last week I mentioned how I miss Hideki Irabu so, and the next day I read that he has started his comeback tour (in the same rotation as Jose Lima nonetheless)! This got me thinking, do I have some sort of weird ability to think about certain former Major Leaguers, only to have them reappear in our lives? Could it be true? Well, one can only hope. But I need something to put it to the test, so I have decided to compile a list of Major Leaguers who just kind of dropped off of the baseball map, in our opinion, all too early, that we feel should make a comeback:

• Kirk Rueter
• Rocky Biddle
• Scott Spiezio
• Jung Bong
  
• Jeremi Giambi
• Alex Sanchez (one steroid bust and he just disappears?)
• Bob Hamelin (aw Hambone! You were the next Billy Jo Robidoux! And now, you are, well, almost actually, Billy Jo Robidoux. If you don't make a comeback can you please hunt down Billy Jo Robidoux and collaborate on some sort of project? Possibly a rib joint?)
  
• Benny Agbayani
  
• "Crazy" Carl Everett (come on, he ain't no dinosuar for crying out loud!)
  
• Luis Rivas
• Roger Cedeno
• Junior Spivey
  
• Rickey Ledee
  
• Byung-Hyun Kim (there was always something dirty sounding about his name?)
  
• Ben Grieve
• Kevin Mench (a real Mench!)
  
• Matt Franco
• Antonio Alfonseca
• Ugueth Urbina (well, okay he's in some third world prison, but one can dream)
• Shane Spencer
• Sean Burroughs
• Nook Logan (um, awesome nickname, we need him to help heal the country)
  
• Choo Freeman (see above)
  
• Ken Harvey
  
• Jason Simontacci
• Tike Redman (once the Pirates future, then....?)
  
• Wes Obermueller
• Rube Baker
  
• Scott Sauerbeck
  
• Eli Marrero (he's a stud in EA Sports MVP Baseball '05, what happened?)
  
• Amaury Telemaco
• Tomakazu Ohka
• Jonathan Lipnicki (okay, not a baseball player, but we think its time)
  
• Shea Hillenbrand
• Carlos Febles
  
• Tanyon Sturtze
• Timo Perez
• Hee-seop Choi (he can sop anything he wants, am I right?)
  
• Esteban Yan (hee-hee his name rhymes)
  
• Billy Koch

Alright, well now its just fingers crossed time.

ROUNDOFFS: MORE THAN MEETS THE EICHORN

• Houston Astros? More like Houston Lastrohs, am I right? I probably didn't come up with this, but I still think it's funny.
• Branyan watch: .324, 6HR, 14 RBI, 1.043 OPS. I think they should start flooding Seattle supermarkets with Raisin Branyan cereal any week now! No? Branyan Flakes?
  
• I kinda wish Kurt Suzuki would follow Ichiro's lead and put his first name on his jersey instead of his last. I'd buy a "Kurt" jersey.
• Remember Emilio Bonificio?
• One complete game and everyone's ready to jump on the Sharion Martis bandwagon. I realize its the Nats and they'll take what they can get, but the media makes it seem like he's piling up the quality starts or something.
• The bandwagon you need to be hoppin on is the Wandy Rodriguez one.
• Did Cole Hamels walk under a ladder, while a black cat was crossing his path?
  
• I think the problem with the Mets is they're just too darn bland. There's no "fire", no "je ne sais pas". Who's the Matt Franco of this club? The Roger McDowell? The Al Leiter? The Benny Agbayani? Don't get me wrong I'm sure that Ramon Castro is a real card in the clunhouse.
  
• Watch out for Alberto Callaspo, he's making the most of the extra ABs.
  
• Matchup of the week: Pirates-Brewers. Monday night. Maholm vs. Gallardo. Have some!
• Buy low fantasy player of the week: Magglio Ordonez. Mags is due to breakout any second now!
  
• Sell high fantasy player of the week: Ricky Weeks. Okay, I know no one is really all that high on Rickie Weeks, but he's playing the best he'll probably play all year, so if you gotta another 2B, than see if you can move him for middle relief or something.
  
• Jason Marquis is pitching well?
• AFLAC trivia of the week: Hee-seop Choi is has more home runs in the majors than any other Korean born player, with 40. Shouldn't take Shin-Soo Choo too long to beat that.
  
• Usually I am all for the throwbacks, especially powder blue ones, but there's something irksome about the ones the Jays sport.
• Brewers throwbacks on the other hand? Absolutely gorgeous!
  
  
• Last week Jorge Cantu had 14 RBIs! Fourteen! Dang!
  
• Seriously, who exactly is gonna win the AL Central?
• Who says the art of base stealing is dead? Days after Dexter Fowler stole five bases in a game, no small feat in itself, Carl Crawford ties a record by swiping six bags in a game against the Sawx. I'm no Elias Sports Bureau, but I'm thinking its probably rather rare that twice in a week someone steals 5 or more bases in a game.
  
• Speaking of the Sawx, get ready for the rest of the league to be overshadowed for two days as the Sawx take on the Yanks tonight and tomorrow.
• Just for esses and gees, Kurt Stillwell.
• And your baseball beer of the week is..........Cooperstown Brewing's Nine Man Ale. A light golden ale with some fine English pale and crystal malts and torrified, not to be confused with horrified, wheat. enjoy!