Tuesday, July 13, 2010


With the Major League Baseball at it's All-Star break, it's of course time for the "47th Annual Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch All-W.T.F. Teams". For those of you who missed the announcing of the previous 46 years of "Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch All-WTF Teams" and don't know what W.T.F. is, it stands for "What The Fiddlesticks?!" You see these are teams comprised of players that have produced stats in the first half of the season that are, let us just say, not in tune, with their expected production. Now we don't divvy up the teams by leagues. Oh, no-no, we divide them by whether their stats are above or below expectations. So, without further ado, on with the show:

C-John Buck, Blue Jays- Like many of the Blue Jays, Big Buck Hunter has been htting a bit above his paygrade.

1B-Troy Glaus, Braves-
The oft-injured Glaus, has been more like a semi-Glaus the past couple seasons, but even a healthy Glaus and his aging bones are out hitting expectations.

2B-Kelly Johnson, Diamondbacks- Now sure, I did have Rage KJ as a preseason fantasy sleeper, seeing as how he all but disappeared off of everyone's radar last season, but he has done way more than even I could have ever imagined.

3B-Casey McGeehee, Brewers- A solid start to his career last season, but me thinks he be hittin' a bit over his head.

SS-Alex Gonzalez, Blue Jays- Sea Bass, yes Sea Bass (thanks to Baseball-Refernce for that nickname tidbit), has bopped 17 dingers thus far, a total that he has only topped twice in his 11 previous major league seasons.

OF-Jose Bautista, Blue Jays- He's already beaten his career high tater total (try saying that five times fast!) at the break! In fact he's already beaten that career tater total by 8!

OF-Chris Young, Diamondbacks- Now sure, he's had plenty of hype, and the dingers are for real, but his average is up above where it belongs. Regression is on the way!

OF-Nick Swisher, Yankees- Much like C.Y., Swisher's home runs are no lie, with that right field porch in Yankee Stadium being like 50 feet from home plate. But also like C.Y., the average is due for a regression.
3B-Scott Rolen, Reds-
Much like Troy Glaus, Rolen has been oft-injured and is raking like he's 27 again, which makes ya take a bit of a double take when you see the numbers.

IF-Ty Wigginton, Orioles- Wiggy was gettin jiggy early on, and yes he's cooled, but not enough to not make the 2010 overachiever squad.

OF-Alfonso Soriano, Cubs- He's been on a steady decline the past few years and a major drain on the Cubbies' financially. Now, while he's no longer a 40-40 candidate, he could get back to the 30 homer mark, and that's something of a surprise.

OF-Cory Hart, Brewers- He hasn't been wearing his sunglasses at night, and that seems to have made all the difference. Dude's got 65 steaks at the break, which is impressive for a guy who has never managed more than 91 in a season, in his short career. Either he's finally putting it altogether or he's just having a ridiculously lucky first half.
IF-Juan Uribe, Giants- It's possible that if Charlie Manuel wanted a good utility guy for the All-Star team, he could have chosen Uribe over Omar Infante. Seeing as how Uribe has been far better than the worse All-Star ever picked, that was not his team's sole representative.

R.A. Dickey, Mets- Nothing really pointed to this breakout in Flushing.

Barry Zito, Giants- Were the stories of his demise, greatly exaggerated?

Carlos Silva, Cubs- Silva was just about literally the worst regular starting pitcher in the league last year, so even a mediocre start to this year would have landed him on this team.

Carl Pavano, Twins- Pavano's actually pitching like everyone thought he would after that '04 campaign. Who woulda thunk it?
Jon Rauch, Twins- A lot of people went into "panic mode" when Joe Nathan went down in Spring Training, but Rauch has more than stepped up.

Matt Capps, Nationals- No one, okay not a lot of people, saw Cappie being a solid closer for the Nats and that's good enough for "Bitterness"!

C-Matt Wieters, Baltimore Orioles- A bit harsh, since he barely has a full season under his belt, sure. He has been decent, but he was spit out of the Hype-a-tron 3000, and while that's not his fault, it'll still land him on the 2010 underachievers.

1B-Mark Tiexeira, Yankees-
Another slow start for Tex, but unlike past years, he really hasn't turned it on yet.

2B-Aaron Hill, Blue Jays- A former All-Star, who actually finished 12th in AL MVP voting last year, hitting below the Mendoza Line? Welcome to the team!

3B-Aramis Ramirez, Cubs- Aramis was terrible, then got injured, came back and started hitting somewhat. So he may be back on track, but the first half numbers are still bad, so he makes the squad.

SS-Yunel Escobar, Braves- Not a superstar by any means, but he's been solid in his short MLB career, and this year has been abysmalistic for YEscobar.

OF-Adam Lind, Blue Jays- After a breakout campaign last season, Lind has been struggling mightily, even going several weeks between multi-hit games.

OF-Shane Victorino, Phillies- The Flyin' Hawaiian has seen a lot more of hits fly outta the park, but his BA and OBP, are way down. But the dude can rock a white suit!

OF-Jason Bay, Mets- I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, the Metropolitans were looking for a bit more than 6 dingers at the break from the Bayniac. And before anyone blames the power outage on his playing in the vast expanses of Citi Field, just know he has almost 30 more homers on the road in his career. Even whilst playing with the Red Sox last year, he hit 15 HRs at Fenway, while socking 21 on the road!

OF-Melky Cabrera, Braves- Now no one was expecting an All-Star season out of the "Melk Man", but .259, 3 HRs and 24 RBIs?

IF-Chone Figgins, Mariners- Not surprising to me, but until recently, the much ballyhooed off-season signing by the Ms, had been a major disappointment.

3B-Chase Headley, Padres- A solid finish to last season, had Chase as a sleeper going into 2010, but after a hot start, Headley has been merely mediocre.

1B-Carlos Pena, Rays- No one was expecting Carlos to compete for any batting titles, but .203 is bad, even for him. Couple that with a .415 slugging percentage, and he ends up here.

2B-Akinori Iwamura, Pirates- Iwamura looked like a sneaky good signing by the Buccos, but he has been awful, and lost his starting gig to rookie Neil Walker.

Ricky Nolasco, Marlins- Going into last year Ricky was one of the up and coming pitchers in the majors. So what did he do? Pitched so badly, he was sent to Triple-A. He then returned and pitched to expectations in the second half, leaving him ready to make the emerge as an ace this year, right? Wrong. Once again Nolasco has struggled in the first half, although not as mightily as in '09, but mightily enough to earn a spot on this squad.

Dan Haren, Diamondbacks- Usually, Danny boy saves his struggles for the second half, but I guess he decided to get ahead this year.

Wandy Rodriguez, Astros- "Magic" Wandy, has been anything but, this year. He took a big leap forward last year, but must not have said, "Mother may I?" as he has fallen way back this season.

Javier Vazquez, Yankees- While it comes as no surprise to this blogger, Javy's return to the A.L., has been a bit shaky. Oh, and if you think it's because of his home park, think again. His E.R.A. is actually higher on the road.

Carlos Zambrano, Cubs- Unless you live under a rock that does not get MLB Network, you don't need this one explained.

Trevor Hoffman, Brewers- We all knew age was catching up with the all-time saves leader, but it appears to have not only caught up with him, but also tossed him around a bit and stole his ability to get guys out.

Joba Chamberlain, Yankees- The supposed heir apparent to Mariano Rivera's throne in New York, is carrying an E.R.A. up over 5.00 at the break. Yikes!

Well there are your "47th Annual Bitterness is a Fish you Can Catch All-W.T.F. Teams"! Hope you enjoyed and keep on, keep on truckin'!

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