HAPPY JACKIE ROBINSON DAY!

Ooops! Wrong Jackie Robinson! That is the long time Syracuse, NY news anchor. This is the Jackie Robinson we're celebrating today:

FANTASY FOOFARAW

Welcome to the first "Fantasy Foofaraw" of the season. But what is the "Fantasy Foofaraw" you may ask? Why the "Fantasy Foofaraw" is our weeklyish guide to fantasy baseball. Fair warning though, we hold know liability for ruining any fantasy baseball teams. We will however take complete credit when we help your team(s) achieve fantasy glory.

Why you shouldn't pay for closers- Jon Rauch. If you drafted, like many, before Joe Nathan went down (although somehow Nathan still managed to get drafted, after his injury, in several leagues, anyway) chances are Jon Rauch was not a player taken, even in deep, deep leagues. Which is hard to imagine, considering his adorable profile pic:

So you could just pick him up for virtual pennies and now he's 5 for 5 in save chances.

Of course it doesn't hurt to spend a little, rather than taking the dregs of the closer pool. (See Francisco, Frank)

If you drafted David Ortiz and expected him to start off 2010 with a bang, then well you are dumb. Yeah, I said it! The worst thing Ortiz could do was turn it on in the 2nd half last year, giving fantasy owners false hope for this season. He's on the downturn of his career. He's big and old, can't turn on inside pitches and can't hit lefties.

Now that being said, there's nothing wrong with having Ortiz on a deep mixed or AL-only league roster. But you do NOT have to start him. Unlike Terry Francona, you don't have to see him every day and there's a good chance he won't even know you benched him. Ya gotta think Francona is just hoping for an injury, so he won't feel bad about not playing Papi. Personally, I don't think that late season charge is on its way this year. AL-only and deep mixed league people, eye this situation and keep Mike Lowell and Jeremy Hermida on your radars.

Don't push the panic button on these fellas just yet:

HUNTER PENCE- Now sure, his team is abysmal, BUT he should still put up some good fantasy numbers. In fact I had him as one of the most underrated fantasy players in all the land when the season started. So don't look for him to Cory Hart you (Cory Hart: v. to show great potential and talent, leading to high expectations that are quickly dashed, ruining one's fantasy season), despite his hairdo:



YOVANNI GALLARDO- I don't generally get in the habit of sticking up for dudes named Yovanni, but I have high hopes for Gallardo, which is why he is the ace of several of my teams. So don't worry, fantasy goodness is on the way!

GRAB 'EM IF YOU CAN!

BARRY ZITO- He's not gonna be Cy Young Barry Zito, nor will he pitch this well the whole season. He has only faced the Astros and the Pirates for crying out loud! But he'll be a solid SP4 or 5 on any fantasy squad.

COLBY LEWIS- He dominated in Japan. JAPAN FOLKS! Worked for Cecil Fielder and Max "Hammer" Dubois, enough said!

No? Not enough said, you say? Okay, how 'bout this- he just struckout 10 Indians in 5.1 innings and that ain't bad.

SETH SMITH- Sure he's platooning, but if you are in a daily transaction league and have the time and effort to know when he's playing and can plug him into your lineup, you could be ridin' a gravy train with biscuit wheels!

STREAM WEAVER
In "Stream Weaver" we'll give you some good streaming options for the upcoming weekend. Enjoy!

TOM GORZELANNY, CHC (4/16) vs. Houston- Is Tom Gorzelanny the answer to all your pitching woes? Certainly not! Is he the answer to some? In the long run, no. But he's pitching against the Astros this week, and the 'Stros have fewer HRs and RBIs than Albert Pujols.

MIKE LEAKE, CIN (4/16) @ Pittsburgh- Sure Leake is not established, making this a bit more of a gamble. But he did do a good job of keeping the ball away from the Cubs' bats. Of course that was partly because he walked 7 Cubbies in 6.2 IP. And he skipped the minors altogether, so yes he is a bit of a wild card, but he has big upside, especially against the Buccos!

JAMIE GARCIA, STL (4/16) vs. New York- Garcia is another young gun with very little track record. The Mets are struggling and Oliver Perez is his opponent, so I like the chance for the "W".

JEREMY BONDERMAN, DET (4/16) @ Seattle- Bonderman looked sharp in his first start and will head into a great pitcher park against what has thus far been a punchless Mariners offense. The only downside to this, he's up against King Felix, so the "W" is by no means a "lock".

Not a ton of viable streaming options for Saturday and not a lot of probables shown for Sunday, so there!

That concludes our first "Fantasy Foofaraw" of the season, hope you enjoyed, and if not, well, it doesn't really matter.

BURNING QUESTIONS, BOLDISH PREDICTIONS AND OPENING NIGHT THOUGHTS

The wait is over! Baseball is back and so is "Bitterness", with our burning questions and boldish predictions for the 2010 MLB season.

BURNING QUESTIONS

• Is there anyone in the Cubs organization that should not be on the hot seat?
• Can the "Pitcher Whisperer" Dave Duncan work his magic on Brad Penny?
• Is anyone else not jumping on the Mariners bandwagon? Yes they have King Felix and Cliff Lee, but who's at the back end of that rotation?
• And how is Carlos Silva in a Major League rotation?
• What would ever, ever, ever possess Jayson Werth to shave off that gorgeous beard? Really the only thing I did not love about Jayson Werth was his weird beatnik soul patch thingamabob.
• Where have you gone Rocky Biddle?
• Why have I not been calling Tommy Hanson "Jump Street" sooner than now?
• Can Brian Bannister be the next Mark Gubicza?
• Do the Astros understand the term "scouting"?
• Will anyone suffer more injuries than the Mets?
  
• What's the over under on number of days Nick Johnson spends on the DL?
• Can Jason Heyward actually hit the moon with a batted ball?
• Will the Giants be able to scrape together enough runs to take the NL West?
• Will anyone try to top Kyle Blanks' afro?
• What is Billy Beane doing?
• Has anyone asked Jamie Moyer how he used to pitch Babe Ruth?
• Why would you build a new baseball field in Minnesota without at least a retractable roof?
• Can everyone just cool it with all the "run prevention" talk when talking about the Red Sox?

BOLDISH PREDICTIONS

• Jay Bruce will hit 40+ home runs.
• Roy Halladay will not win 20 games, nor will he win the Cy Young award.
• Tim Lincecum will not win the Cy Young award.
• Joe Mauer will hit less than 25 homers.
• Adrian Gonzalez will not still be a Padre after the trade deadline.
• Javier Vazquez will spend time on the DL after incurring the wrath of CC when taking his last piece of pregame deep dish pizza.
• The Mariners will not make the playoffs.
• Tim McCarver will still be an old coot spittin' out all sortsa assinine.
• Nick Johnson will get injured.
• Curtis Granderson will hit less than 30 home runs.
• Evan Longoria will drive in at least 125 runs.
• Chan Ho Park will not last the whole season as a Yankee.
• Zank Grienke will still be outstanding.
• The Mets brass will try and hire Jack Klugman, TV's Quincy, MD to try and keep them healthy, but only after negotiations with Alan Alda break down. They will then realize that Mr. Klugman is no longer among the living. Dr. Quinn, stay by your phone.
• Sean Rodriguez will be the American League Rookie of the Year.
• Travis Snider will have a breakout year.
  
• The A's, Pirates, Astros, Nationals and Royals will all have losing records.
• The Orioles will win 80 games and finsh 4th in the AL East.
• The Reds and Dodgers won't make the playoffs.
• Milton Bradley will be ejected from 2 games this year.
• Bobby Cox will be ejected from 4.
  
• No more than 3 pitchers will win 20 or more games.
• No fewer than 7 eating establishments in the greater D.C. area will have a Strasburger. And they will all feature extra cheese!

And now for some of your more "traditional" predictions:
AL East- Red Sox, Yankees, Rays, Orioles, Blue Jays
Al Central- White Sox, Twins, Tigers, Indians, Royals
Al West- Angels,Ranger, Mariners, Athletics

NL East- Phillies, Braves, Marlins, Mets, Nationals
NL Central- Cardinals, Cubs, Brewers, Reds, Astros, Pirates
NL West- Rockies, Giants, Dodgers, Diamonbacks, Padres

Wildcards- Yankees and Braves

ALCS- Red Sox over Yankees
NLCS- Phillies over Rockies

World Series- Red Sox over Phillies

AL MVP- Alex Rodriguez
NL MVP- Ryan Braun

AL Cy Young- Jake Peavy
NL Cy Young- Josh Johnson

AL ROY- Sean Rodriguez
NL ROY- Jason Heyward (how could ya not?)

OPENING NIGHT THOUGHTS

• Neil Diamond performing "Sweet Caroline" live in the middle of the 8th inning with a sweet "Keep the Dodgers in Brooklyn" jacket was as good as it gets!
• Pretty nice having Pedro throw out the first pitch. I did not hear any "Who's Your Daddy?" chants.
  
• Nice ovation for Mike Lowell.
• The game itself was pretty exciting.
  
• I predicted the Red Sox would win 8-6. Pretty close.
• Yankees bullpen had a pretty shaky start. I'm just saying, Joe Girardi, Chan Ho Park may not be your best bet in any sort of clutch situation?
• Why would ESPN blackout the game in Boston and New York? It was the only game on! Sunday Night Baseball is never blacked out. NEVER! Imagine my dismay when I went to watch the game this morning to see if I could spot myself in the crowd, only to find I had 3 hours of ESPN News on the DVR. Blast!
  
• I did find $5 on the sidewalk on the way home. Jack....pot!
  
• And of course this:

Go baseball, enjoy the season!!