Friday, February 03, 2006

Stupor Bowl




Hellooooooooo sports fans! The Super Bowl is just over two days away, so it is time for everyone to start finalizing their plans for the big day. Break out the chips, pizzas, party subs, beer as it is time to eat, drink and be merry, oh, and if you care to, take in a little football. For those not really interested in the actual game there is plenty you can do to make it a an interesting game and turn the Super Bowl into your own personal Stupor Bowl. Intrigued? Allow me to elaborate:

Well, alcohol makes everything better, so here are some drinking games that'll keep you focused on the "boob tube" during the big game:

1) THE COMMERCIAL DRINKING GAME:
Now this is a game for the whole family. We all know that Super Bowl Sunday is the stage for some, supposed, "brilliant" commercials. Some new, some old. Often times these are more entertaining than the game itself, especially for those none to enthused about the game in the first place. Here's whatcha do- Have everyone at your Super Bowl party/gathering pick a product, like Pepsi or Geico or something and everytime an ad for this comes on the screen, DRINK! Now you can mix it up and have some variations if you want. Like everyone has a specific type of product like beer, cola, insurance, etc. Orrrrr you can have everyone pick a specific brand of a certain product. So everyone will have a beer, cola, automobile, etc. on their commercial drinking lineup. For instance you could have Heineken, Pontiac, and Pepsi or Budweiser, Ford and Mr. Pibb. Okay, so picking obscure products, unlikely to have SB commercials probably shouldn't be allowed. So Mr. Pibb, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Deloreans, Yugo, etc. should be "off the table". Although if you are smart you will have PBR and Mr. Pibb readily available at your party. Add-in some red vines for some crazy deliciousness.

2) THE STORYLINES GAME:
This one should be spearheaded by someone who has been following the past two weeks of "pre-game" hoop-la. A sidenote here, " Bronco Nagurski didn't need no bye week...and now he's dead!"-Moe S.. Okay so this one is fairly easy. Usually there are several "interesting" storylines that will be reoccurring themes throughout the two weeks, that are sure to be talked about during the big game. For instance last year everytime they called Belichik a "genius" you would drink. A big one this year has to do with "The Bus" Jerome Bettis' (as pictured) and his return to his childhood home for the Super Bowl, which could quite possibly be his last game. Every mention of Bettis being from Detroit warrants a drink. The whole Joey "The Ass" Porter and Jeremy Stevens exchange of words is another thing sure to be mentioned on several occassions throughout the game. You can pick the storylines you wish to use, these are just a couple of examples for ya.

3) PICK-A-TEAM
This is probably the simplest game to play as well as the hardest to keep up on. The best part is, anyone can play, without knowing a lick about the game of football or the teams involved. Whatcha do,is pick one of the SB XL combatants. Next you set up what you want to determine when you drink. Confused? Okay, well you have to decide what you want as criterion for drinking. Like touchdowns, interceptions, punts, safeties, etc. So say you were to pick the Seahawks and it's one drink for a turnover, you would drink for each Seahawk turnover. Now obvioulsy you would drink for things that hurt your selected team, like turnovers, punts, scores against. Stuff like safeties, clipping penalties would be worth more drinks, being rarer that say a first down. Now the number of drinks and stats yopu want to use are up to you. Of course one flaw in this one, is if the game is a blowout (which it won't be) only one side is really drinking. That's when you count kickoffs as turning the ball over to even up the score a bit.

4) FLASHBACKS
Actually, this is probably the easiest to play. Everytime there is a flashback or allusions to Super Bowls past, drink. You can make it real interesting by picking more specific flashbacks, like everytime they show stock footage of Terry Bradshaw or Neil O'Donnell, drink!

5) SHOCK-EEEEEEEEEEEEY
The Shockey drinking game should always be in effect, especially when he is not playing. With JS not even being in any way involved in this one, the ante is upped. This means you drink four, every time he is mentioned or shown. Watch out for the double "dang-it!" if you have Hungry-Man in the commercial game as well


Well these are just a few ideas to keep that Super Bowl Party lively and flowing along nicely. Feel free to use any variations you like, and if you have any other fun games, ideas, etc. for the Extra-Large Super Bowl, let me know, I'd love to hear 'em.

GO SEAHAWKS!!!

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