Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Yes it has been way too long since we here at "Bitterness" opened the old mail bag, but it's a new year, new location, etcetera, etcetera. Now the mailbag is overflowing, and we'd love to answer every single piece of mail, but unfortunately that's not gonna happen. So we won't be touching on many things that have happened since the last "mail call" like the Sawx winning it all, Brittney Spears lost in a downward spiral, the writer's strike, caucuses, or is it caucusi? Anyways, on to the mail!

You really miscalled that Giants-Packers game huh? Where's the respect for the Giants, after knocking off your "Gunslinger of Destiny" at Lambeau nonetheless?- Casey C., Crabcake, MD

Okay, okay, so maybe, just maybe, I was a bit too harsh on the Giants. I'm still not convinced there as good as everyone in the media is making them out to be and all of sudden everyone is buying into Tom "turn and" Coughlin's philosophy. Apparently this erases the past few years that would always end with Tommy C's job in question and the doubting of Eli as a big time quarterback. But it seems that the Packers and the "Gunslinger of Destiny" were really just trying to hand this game to the G-Men. And really not the best coaching decision to let Lawrence "Time after" Tynes even attempt that long field goal in OT after his Jay Feely-esque performance to that point. If he missed you know the Coughlin's job jeopardy rumors would have been in full swing. But I do apologize for the over-harshness with which I criticized the Giants last week, I guess.

Are you worried the Patriots won't be able to finish the perfect run against yet another "giant" underdog? They have come down to earth in the last few weeks and the Giants already gave them a scare in the Meadowlands. I mean they barely edged out a hobbled Chargers team in the AFC Championship game, for crying out loud! -Shawne M., Whale's Vagina, CA

I don't know if 'd use the word "worried", Shawne, but I'm definitely not as confident as I would have been say 3 months ago. Now while the Chargers were hobbled on offense, their defense was intact and it's usually pretty solid, so the Patriots lack of scoring does not concern me. Their defense however is a whole 'nother story altogether. I've noticed it being a bit lax at times and not as "great" as everyone seems to think. But you have to remember that in their previous Super Bowl runs under Beli-cheat they rarely blew teams out, and the close game was the norm. They play down to their opponents and play hard when it counts. Plus Eli is due for a mental breakdown in the desert, I'm sure of it.

Hey what happened to the good old days of "Bitterness" when there was more than just football posts? I want to know if you have any predictions for, say, the Grammy's?- Justin T., Hollyweird, CA

A prediction for the Grammy's? You mean other than I won't be watching?

Now that you've moved the "Bitterness" headquarters does this mean we are gonna be bombarded with "Boston" speak and sports bias under the guise of covering all the bases? Cause someone already owns that plot of land on the worldwide web.-Bill S., Los Angeles, CA
Not much more than usual Bill. Although I am headed to a Celtics game tonight, which means I may start blogging about the NBA, and that's without even getting a lobotomy. But you won't hear me talking about how Beantown is the best sports city around right now (sorry Kansas City, it was close though) or about planning a trip to Vegas, or throwing some inside jokes at you. Now this won't be your grandfather's "Bitterness" sure, but we hope to stick to our roots, and really give you a bitter look from all angles. And of course at least one quote a week from Rounders, where they invented Texas Hold'em. What's with all the mail from Cali, huh?

I hate the Patriots and the Giants, so I'll just be looking to get sloshed during this one and hope there will be lots of ads with monkeys during the big game. But I was wondering what your five least interesting Super Bowls of all time would be? Going into the game that is, not after the game was played. -Thurman T., Orchard Park, NY
Well Thurman before I dive into your question, which is spectacular by the way, I wanna take some time for a shameless plug. You see, sometime before the big game, we will give you a way to whittle away the time if you really just don't want to watch. But on to your question. Here are the five Super Bowls I was least interested in watching, in no particular order. Or are they? No, they're not.
  1. Super Bowl XXXVII: Raiders vs. Buccaneers. This was actually the first one that popped into my head, as I had a general disdain for both squads. Hard to root for Warren Sapp or the Raiders.
  2. Super Bowl XXXV: Giants vs. Ravens. Many thought this would be a defensive struggle, but it was the Giants who had a defensive struggle. I hated the Ravens and was bored with the Giants. And now it's sad to think that not getting that Super Bowl ring could be what keeps Jason Sehorn out of the Hall of Fame. That or the fact he was not that good.
  3. Super Bowl XXX: Cowboys vs. Steelers. The hype of this one alone, pitting two old school dynasties up against one another, was enough to make me less than enthused to watch this one. Plus both of these teams are in the "Top 5 Teams I Hate" list, so naturally I wanted neither one of them to win.
  4. Super Bowl XXXIX: 49ers vs. Chargers. I had never really liked San Fran, and while it was gonna be fun to root for the underdog, I wasn't too pumped for this one cuz 1) the underdog was another California team, blaaahhhh! and c) you knew there was no way they'd beat the Niners.
  5. Super Bowl XXVIII: Bills vs. Cowboys. Now, ever since I really started getting into football I have hated the 'Boys, and being a Patriots fan I had a dislike of the Bills and that God forsaken K-Gun, at the time. But why this one, rather than the previous meeting in XXVII. Well the third time around there was a little part of me that wanted the Bills to do it, and get it over with already, but they didn't, instead they got shellacked, so I figured the second time around would be no different.

It's almost February and there hasn't been word one about college basketball, what gives? I needs the "Bitterness" take on the mid-majors and the bubble watch, etc.! -Harold A., Parts Unknown?
Well, as you know, we packed up and moved our World Headquarters, which is very time and energy consuming. Plus writing for your enjoyment is not our day job, at least until you freeloaders start coughing up some cash to read this. But yes our time and energy are limited and we have been in a college basketball-less bubble for a bit now, and hope to remedy this soon. But for now I will say Florida's always a solid pick to go far, Vanderbilt, Arizona State and Baylor are probably as dismal as ever, Ohio State is most likely gonna run right through the Big Ten, especially over lowly Indiana, and don't worry Marquette fans you'll get there eventually.

I seem to remember last year you said something about giving the NHL a shot, but that seemed to never come to fruition. Any chance we'll get some "Bitterness" insight on hockey?- Guy L., Coldtown, ON

New Year's Resolution: We'll no longer make promises we can't keep. Um, I would say we may have snippets from the ice, but don't get your hopes up. Although we do love to blog about playoff beards. Go Whalers!

Well that's gonna do it for this mail bag, hope you enjoyed. Have a wonderful today and a "guten" tomorrow!


  1. You keep up the shirtless Gute, I'll work on shirtless MVB!

  2. I love the tom "turn and" coughlin bit. that's precious. sorry I didn't give more than a woo! response to your message after the giants win on sunday. I was in chigago and awfully hammered. it took me a few minutes even to spit that out. was with that banazek fellow.