ROUNDOFFS: AT LEAST BETTER THAN CHIEN-MING WANG

• What's wang with Chien-Ming? Well, when you don't strike guys out, but rather, rely on a sinker to get grounders, and then that sinker don't sink, well, you do the math.
  
• Quote of the week: "He's coming into a spot you wouldn't give to a leopard..."- the incomparable Vin Scully.
  
• Make fun of Carl Pavano, and he pitches well? Don't worry, he was a little more Pavano-ish against the Twins on Saturday.
• When the Rays are hitting, they are fun to watch.
• Quick! Off the top of your head name the current starting rotation for the Toronto Blue Jays! You can't do it, can you?! Its easy, allow me. Roy Halladay, Southpaw, What's his Name, Newbie, and Gustavo Chacin. BOOM!
• Speaking of Chacin, who had surgery and disappeared to parts unknown....he is actually in the Phillies organization. Who knew?! Maybe the Phillies. Maybe! Chacin is the first one to suffer the fragrance curse. It was not long after Gustavo Chacin Cologne night at Skydome, that his career took a turn. I did not make that up, it was a real promo! It is Canadia, so......
• The Nationals are just downright awful.
  
• Zack Greinke has not allowed an earned run in 29 innings this season! If you like pitching, you need to watch Greinke work! Although maybe not in his next start, since, I've more than likely just jinxed him.
  
• On the flip side, Matt Lindstrom gave up seven, yes SEVEN, earned runs in two-thirds of an inning against the defending World Champion Phillies on Friday night, erasing Josh Johnson's quality start.
• The uniforms the Padres wore on Saturday night were nothing short of wonderful!
• Russell Branyan hit is fourth homer of the season this weekend. I'm just saying.
• Of course Brandon Inge, yes Brandon Inge, has 7 homers, so anyone who has him on their fantasy team is a lucky duck!
  
• Watching the Dodgers hit is just good ol' fashioned fun.
  
• Seriously the Nationals are just horrendous.
• If I had to choose, I'd say Bengie's probably my favorite Molina.
• I think its safe to say Daniel Murphy won't be winning a Gold Glove anytime soon. Not only has he made two very costly errors in left, but he has managed to fall down twice, which is, well, funny. Not to Mets fans though I guess.
• Nyger Morgan is just plain having fun out there!
• Am I the only one who misses Hideki Irabu?
• Your "buy low" fantasy player of the week is (drum roll) Adrian Beltre. Beltre is off to a horrendous start and was actually dropped in two of my leagues! But I'm telling you, he has been as steady as they come over his career in a Mariner uni and he's in a contract year. His owners are panicking. Make your move!
• Your sell high fantasy player of the week: Zack Duke. I'm not saying Zack Attack won't be good or friends forever, but I think he won't be this good, and you can get value for him right now.
  
• Matchup of the week: Santana-Johnson II. Their first duel featured a 2-1 Marlins win, with Johnson throwing a complete game and Santana not giving up an earned run, but still losing, thanks to the aforementioned Daniel Murphy. Look for something very similar in Round 2. And if I'm Josh Johnson, I do not wanna leave this game with a lead.
  
• Remember when the Marlins were 11-1?
• Or when the Red Sox were 2-6? Seems like ages ago.
• Oxymoron of the week: Yankees relief-pitching.
• Never been a huge fan of Norm Chad, but he kinda hits some nails on the head with this one.
• Really not seeing anyone running away with the AL Central this year.
• Nor any reason the Dodgers shouldn't run away with the NL West.
• Reason #14 to get the MLB Extra Innings Package: Mark Grace. He is awesome. See for yourself!

• Not only does Ian Kinsler have awesome hair, but he can hit a bit too!
• And finally, your Beer of the week is in honor of the red hot Red Sox. Green Monsta Ale from Wachusett. A flavorful Pale Ale, that goes down great with Sawx wins. Its not the top pale ale out there, but is easy to drink down whilst watching America's pasttime.