Sunday, September 13, 2009


It's finally here! The games now have some sort of meaning. Sure, there was a game played already, but us true football fans know that today is the day when it really gets going! But here are some other truths you should be prepared for as we sit less than two hours away from football:

  • Prepare to have your mind blown. I guarantee you, at least 3 things will surpirse you in Week 1.
  • Brett Favre will have a decent game, win against the Browns, and start up the Favre praise-a-tron 3000. Let's everyone just settle down before it happens. He's playing THE BROWNS! Also he has Adrian Peterson! Let's not go through last year again, where everyone lauded him for beating the Dolphins, mostly because his receivers bailed him out a couple of times. So please, can we just stop this before it starts?
  • Be ready to hear the term "Wildcat" uttered some hundred and seventy odd times. Now remember plenty of teams used versions of the "Wildcat", the Dolphins just used it more, because, well, their standard offense, um, sucked.
  • Week one is so meaningful and yet so meaningless. I picked the Colts and Eagles to be upset in week one. If this or any other upset occurs, the talking heads, not the band, will be eager to point out all the flaws in said upsetee, and wonder if they are in trouble. Sure, they may be in trouble, but let's wait it out, shall we? Remember last year when the Colts lost the opener, and then barely escaped going 0-2? People were all up in arms, "The Colts aren't the same, they'll have trouble making the playoffs, yada, yada, yada." And lo and behold, somehow they managed to make the playoffs.
  • The Dolphins will not be as good as last year, and not just because people are "ready" for the "wildcat", but because they're not good.
  • Somewhere a first year coach will win a game. Read nothing into this.
  • If I'm right and the Colts do lose, the media will say it's because Tony Dungy and Marvin Harrison are gone. But there's a chance they could have lost this game with Dungy and Harrison. Who really knows?
  • Eric Mangini, and the rest of the football watching world, will realize the Vikings didn't need more than a week to prepare for Brady Quinn.
  • Chad Ochocinco will score a touchdown, and somehow incorporate insulting Skip Bayless in his celebration.
  • Pizza Hut will continue to boggle the mind with their "celebrity" endorsers. Tommy Davidson too big for "the Hut", BOOM, enter Jim Breuer. So who could be on-deck? Breckin Meyer? Shirtless Guttenberg, perhaps?
  • Shannon Sharpe will sputter more sentence fragments than any other announcer out there.
  • Matt Cassel won't start for Kansas City. Well, now they won't beat the Ravens. Try and note the sarcasm.
  • Drew Brees will throw for 427 yds and 3 tds against the Lions. Yes his numbers will be down, cause he will sit out the fourth quarter.
  • The Redskins and Giants will bore the ever-loving crap out of anyone watching. If you like running between the tackles, inconsistent passers, field position battles and pooch punts, you'll love Giants-Redskins!
  • The Buccaneers will be the least relevant fantasy team. Seriously, if you're starting a Buc, you're probably in trouble.
Well, that concludes our first Sunday Morning Audibles of the season, enjoy the games!


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