Thursday, September 09, 2004

I Know Nothing About the NFL!

Glad you made it, welcome to my blog. Who's your daddy? I'm your daddy now. If you don't what song I'm paraphrasing from, then you probably don't know me at all, of course there's the off chance that even if you do know where that is from, you still don't know me at all. And then there's some who don't know where it's from, but still know me fairly well. Phew! Either way, the show must go on!
As I went to rank professional football players for my upcoming Fantasy Football Team-The Boise Thrill, perhaps you haven't heard of them-I realized how little I know about what's going on in the NFL. For instance did you know there's a team in Tennessee now? And apparently the Browns took a few years off, I didn't know you could do that? So here are few questions that I hope to find answ,ers to this NFL season:

1. Who is the Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback? I honestly don't know! But, I figure as long as Joe Bugel is the head coach, the sky's the limit in 'Zona!
2. Will anyone be able to stop Barry Sanders and the Lions? I figure with these kids Harrington and Rogers they should dominate the NFC Central!
3. Why don't the Bengals realize how good, nay, great Jon Kitna is? He almost led them to the playoffs last year, and in Cincy that's about the best you can hope for, right? And isn't Kitna really just a synonym for MVP? Just give him the ball and let him create, people!
4. Why do people insist on praising David Akers so much? He's like the most overrated kicker going! You heard me Phelps!
5. Does my good compatriate Toastie even know the name of the New Jersey football Giants' (They play two feet away from where the Nets and Devils play, it ain't New York!) new placekicker? No Toastie, it's not Doug Christie, try again.
6. Why is there so much negativity in Buffalo? It stinks! Pete Metzalaars is not walking through that door people. That and Pete has a tough name to spell (Metzalaars isn't in spellcheck).
NOTE: This was just put in for my friendly Bills fans, Bojangles, Beach Justice and Herb Deluxe, or as they are better known- The Orchard Park Trio. Actually know one calls them that, but maybe it'll catch on. I hold no ill will towards the Bills or their fans, and think Buffalo is a wonderful city! They created Buffalo Wing for cryin' out loud! Buffalo that is, not the Orchard Park Trio.
7. How many chicken wings will I eat during the NFL Season (including postseason)?
8. Will anyone take down Westside Green?!
9. Is Vinnie Testaverde the answer in Dallas?
10. Has Vinnie Testaverde been the answer anywhere? No sympathy Vinnie, no sympathy!
11. How much do I hate the Dolphins? Oh wait, I already know this one, almost as much as I hate the New York baseball Yankees! (I guess putting the sport in front of the team doesn't work all the time.)

Wow, lots of questions to be answered! Well here are some of my predictions for the 2004-2005 season:
Division finishes:
AFC EAST- Colts, Patriots, Bills, Jets, Dolphins-despite them having Lamar Gordon)
AFC CENTRAL-Oilers, Bengals, Steelers, Browns
AFC WEST-Chiefs, Seahawks, Broncos, Chargers, Raiders
NFC EAST- Eagles, Cowboys, Redskins, Giants, Cardinals- thank god for the Cardinals, eh Giants fans!
NFC CENTRAL-Packers, Lions, Vikings, Buccaneers, Bears
NFC WEST- Rams, Saints, 49ers, Falcons


This ones for Heath Sherman, plus isnt Terrell Owens overdue anyways?

AFC MVP-Jon Kitna
NFC MVP-Kleinsasser


  1. If it isn't blogging Willie Moe. The giants finishing last in the division; No thank you!!! Well, I looked long and hard at those questions that you proposed on your site here, and these are the answers I came up with.

    1. Josh McCown or Neil Lomax (not Bernie Lomax)
    2. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
    3. Cincy doesn't realize the greatness of Kitna due to their clouded vision of one day having their team guided to greatness under the helm of Gunnar Esaison, Boomer's kid with cystic fibrosis.
    4. David Akers has spinal meningitis and only has a few years left to live, NFL commentators, experts, and fans alike realize this and allowing him to enjoy his last few years.
    5. Steve Christie. YE-ES!!!
    6. Buffalo could be great with that defense, if Drewsie can pick it up like he did in first half of 2002 season, and if Lee Evans can equal good times as second receiver along with Stud Moulds.
    7. 128,364 chicken wings included postseason (excluding pro bowl)
    8. I will kill phelps the next opportunity that I have, that, that ought to fix westside green.
    9. Vinnie is the answer to all of life problems. check that, only if it is drunk Vinnie.
    10.Vinnie was the right person to fully demonstrate the great look of those 80's Buccaneer orange pants.

    there, I have given my opinion and edited you in my blog. keep up the good work.

  2. The answer to number 7 is not measurable in human numbers.