Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Sweet Odin's Raven!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! It's been awhile, but a lot of new shit has come to light my friends. It's a fresh new year of bitterness and I'm rarin' and ready to go for all you members of Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch Nation. That is, if you consider 10 people a nation, okay six people. Wait, do I count? Anyways, moving on. A lot has happened over the past several weeks, some of it even in my life, so here is a quick recap to get every one caught up. Some of the names may have been changed to protect the innocent.

December 24, 2004:
My current employer Christmas Vacationed me and my Christmas bonus check, the same check that would be paying for me to go home, does not arrive on Thursday or Friday for that matter. Luckily, I have wonderful friends in life and was able to borrow some money and was able to make it home for X-Mas.

December 25, 2004 -Feliz Navidad! It was the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Fuckin' Kaye.

It was on this day, the day we celebrate the birth of Santa Claus, being born in the North Pole, all the reindeer bringing gifts like gold, frankenstein, amd myrrh, (whatever that is? and however you may spell it?) that I received the gift that will keep on giving, to Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch Nation, all year round. I received a laptop, which will allow for at least three times as many blog entries for all my endearing fans. (Once I settle my dispute with Time Warner Cable. They seem to think I should pay for cable and internet every month. I mean the nerve of some people, right?!)

December 26, 2004- Kwanzaa, Boxing Day and Hijinx!
Jitter, Javen, MacGuyver Chuck, doorprizes, adult beverages, and of course ,...chicken wings at the Change of Pace ( the gift the keep's on giving all the next day long! Toastie you know!)

December 28, 2004- It's a Kwanzaa miracle!!
Our basketball team, The Change O' Pacers actually one a legit game!!! Don't not adjust your monitors it's true, it happened, I was there. And Toastie even made his first free throw of the season, giving us a five point lead with 2 seconds remaining. Uncle Jitter come and claim your chicken wing pizza! Oh yeah, and the best part of this story it was against my arch nemesis, Chadwick's !! Our own Josh Pace, Bill, will let you know why.

And then, just like that it was 2005!!!!!!!!!!

The Change O' Pacers need but to win against the Syracuse Firefighters in three weeks and we are in the PLAYOFFS???!!! This of course, is if the Firefighters don't win before that match-up!
I talked with our Small Guard (not big enough to be a small forward not a good enough shooter to be a shooting guard) Toastie, about the playoffs, here's what he had to offer:

"WE JUST GOTTA TAKE IT ONE GAME AT A TIME! WE'RE GONNA GIVE 110%! WE JUST GOTTA FOCUS ON OUR GAME AND NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE SFD'S DOIN!" (This is written in CAPS because he had to yell because of all the ruckus after our victory.

Anyways, now on to more pressing matters in Willie Moe's World... The NFL Playoffs! The Championship Games are almost upon us, and Peyton Manning now has plenty of time to check on his fantasy insurance adjusters league. This weekend I'll have my Roethils-burger smothered in turf, with a side of mud as the Patriots show him what's up. Too bad for the Steelers, Adam Viniatieri can make kicks. Unlike that overrated David Akers (never trust a left-footed kicker!) . That's right Phelps, it better not come down to Akers, because I ain't leaving the room when he kicks. I predict an Eagles-Patriots Super Bowl, though, despite David Akers! And for the Super Bowl I predict lots of beer drinking, eating and a lot of me and Phelps getting loud, bitter and animated!

And finally if you haven't seen Dodgeball or Anchorman, get on it!!!
OK, stay classy......Planet Earth!

1 comment:

  1. Playoffs! You're talking about playoffs? That must be Phelps talking. You need to take it one game at a time don't worry about the other team.


    ps-I don't know who Phelps is.