WEEK XI: KITNA STRIKES BACK!

Now before I start I just want to say that this blog was all written and I was just adding pictures , when all of the sudden I got one of those error messages telling me to end now or cancel, I think. Anyways after pouring three hours of my life into writing this blog, Mozilla decided to shut down. Of course none of it was saved, so now I am retyping the whole thing again, virtually from memory. Some stuff that was in the origianl will be cut out or modified because either I don't remember or because I'm too tired now to bother. So now here is the blog I should have been saving all along:

Well, well, well, it seems that I actually managed to go five hundred with my picks last week after a couple of awful weeks. I realize I haven't updated the standings in awhile, so here ya go:

BITTERNESS: 66-78
MMQB: 66-78
THE GUY: 64-80

Now before I get into the picks here a few nuggets I need to get to:

I apologize to all my readers for a faux pas in last week's picks. You see British Columbia and Saskatchewan were not playing for the Grey Cup, simply for the chance to play for it this week. The Lions won pretty handily by the way and there are no more rouges, they are called singles instead. I'm still stickin with rouges. What I didn't like is that Saskatchewan has a Coors Light logo on their jerseys. That would be like the Patriots having being sponsored by LaBatt Blue! Anyways speaking of jerseys....

It's off to New Jersey where congrats go to the Scarlet Knights of Rutgers who last week beat the then #3 Louisville Cardinals on the foot of Jeremy" the Judge" Ito. It's pretty amazing that if about eight or nine other things in college football fall into place the SUNJ-Rutgers Scarlet Knights could play for the national championship. Unfortunately for them they have the Orange of Syracuse still left on the docket and you know what that means.....an easy win for the Knights.

Mike Tirico on MNF: "They're gonna spot the ball (pause- as if he is going to tell us the yard line or finish with, "beyond the first down marker" or something remotely insightful) where it was when his knee hit the ground." Thanks Mike. Really? They're gonna mark it the same way as they always do in every game? Why are good announcers banished to cover Cardinals-49ers matchups when are stuck with announcers who, while at some point may have added something to the game, now just pack each broadcast with the same trite drivel and schtick? Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!

And now for the picks:

Patriots @ Packers: The Pats are strugglin a bit and the Packers have a bona fide gunslinger with a great passion for the game. Normally I'd go with the 'slinger, but I have a hunch the Pats win it 26-17

Bengals @ Saints: The storybook season being written in N'awlins is, I'm afraid not gonna have a happy ending. Nueve will find Ocho Cinco so much they'll think it's Mardi Gras in the Big Easy, whatever the heck that means? Bengals win it 21-17.

Titans @ Eagles: The Eagles may be back on track thanks to a visit from the Redskins. I'll give 'em this though, the Titans are feisty, but the Iggles should roll at the Linc 35-21. Every time I hear it called the Linc I think of Mod Squad. No, not the movie with Omar Epps, Claire Danes and the ever irreverent Giovanni Ribisi, but the actuall 60s television show. I think they should have an afro over every entrance. Reason #27 why I should be in charge of a stadium right there!

Vikings @ Dolphins: Have the Dolphins finally woken up? Are they actually gonna finish the season playing the way many predicted them to play at the beginning of the season? Maybe, maybe not. But they should be able to beat the fading Vikings, who look like a pillager without a fjord out there right now....'Phins take it 17-13.

Redskins @ Buccaneers: Okay, okay, I may have overestimated B-Grad just a teenie-tiny bit, but I still say he is perfect in the Gruden offense. Yeah! I said it and I stand by it! I also stand by this, "The Redskins are not good." I know it's a bold statement and I may be goin out on a limb, but unless Jason Campbell is Doug Williams incarnate than the 'Skins fans better have plenty of firewater handy for the rest of the season, because it'll be a long six weeks after this one. This ends in a tie 15-15, because the Bucs ground game is non-existent in the hands of Carnell "Broham" Williams. They might as well have Greg "Cadillac" Anderson running the ball for them!

Colts @ Cowboys: The Cowboys won't be riding these Colts for long. Close for awhile, yes, but the Colts eventually buck 'em and win it 24-20. And by the way, carving up the Cardinal defense doesn't sell me on Tony Romo.

Falcons @ Ravens: Ah the Falcons season, up and down it goes. You know they might be better off if Ron Mexico protected the ball a little better! The thing about the Falcons is that they don't play well every week, so you never know what'll happen. You see I've decided to pull a Costanza when picking Falcons games by doing the opposite of my initial instincts. So I'm pickin the Falcons 17-16.

Rams @ Panthers: The Rams were the quietest 4-2 team in all the land and then four straight losses later they are the loudest 4-5 team around. Okay that may not true but it worked better for my sentence. Just think Rams fans if these games were like 59 minutes long you'd be 6-3 in first place in the NFC West. And if "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts we's all have a fine little Christmas! Panthers break another little piece of the Rams hearts as John Kasay hits a last second field goal giving the Panthers 31-28 win.

Steelers @ Browns: The Browns are riding their third one game winning streak of the season, but alas all good things must come to an end. The Steelers will win this game narrowly and before everyone gets all excited after Big Ben (Parliament) does well and leads them to victory, let's remember this is the Browns folks! No offense Browns fans. Steelers edge 'em 12-10.

Bills @ Texans: Well the Bills hung with the Colts last week and now they head to Houston to face former Bill Eric Moulds, who I'm told his hung like a colt! Weird?! But Bills fans if you need a new face to stick on your dart board, look no further than Sterling Sharpe. After showing the Bills-Colts highlights and the Bills' missed kick Sterling interjected, "Sorta looked like Scott Norwood." Unnecessary, unclassy and uncalled for. It may be your name, but Mr. Sharpe, you are far from sterling. Bills win in Houston 24-14. Also J.P. Losman and David Carr have a hairy side bet in this one. If the Bills lose J.P. shaves his head, losing his gorgeous do, while if the Texans lose D.C. will shave his eyebrows. Now that's something you won't find on ESPN insider! And that's because it has no factual basis! Just chalk it up to things I'd like to see happeing in the NFL.

Raiders @ Chiefs: If the Raiders keep showing signs of life they may pick as low as 7 or 8 in this spring's draft, so they better watch themselves. While Huard versus Walter isn't exactly Elwya versus Marino, this matchup could be good......NAHHHHHHHH! The Chiefs will just run Larry "I'm not grandmama, that's another guy!" Johnson until he can't run no more! And run he shall, all over the Raiders defense. Chiefs take it 42-30

Bears @ Jets: "Man-man-man-mangini" and the Jets are flyin high after their win in the razor last week, but there's turbulence up ahead in the form of the Chicago Bears. The Bears will join the Colts in successfully pulling off the Meadowlands sweep with a 31-21 win.

Lions @ Cardinals: Kitna's gonna make it rain in 'Zona, just you watch! Lions roll on to victory 33-27.

Seahawks @ 49ers: Hasselback and Alexander may playin this one. My question is what's the hurry? It's only the 49ers. So if Hasselback and Alexander play they win it 42-17. If they don't play they win it 28-17.

Chargers @ Broncos: This is the game of the week by far. Two teams battling under the lights, first place in the division on the line. Turner and Hooch against the vaunted Broncos "D". The thin mountain air. This should be a classic. Fo some reason, call it a hunch, but I think the Chargers win this battle 21-20.

Giants @ Jaguars: Let's see the Jaguars play well against decent teams but tend to lose to the Texans, twice even. The Jaguars willl play the G-men tough and after the feds are out of their way they will play the Giants tight. But the key is for the Giants to pressure David Garrard. If they do this, they will prevail and I fell that they will both pressure him and prevail 27-21.

British Columbia vs. Montreal: This one's for all the marbles folks! Let me tell you if Dave Dickensen plays the way he played against the Roughriders last week, then it is the Alouettes who are in for a rough ride. With Dickensen playing well, Jarious Jackson backing him up, Pamela Anderson in their corner, and the aura of Lui Passaglia over them I don't see any reason the Lions can't capture their fifth Grey Cup. The Alouettes will be hungry though after falling to the Edmonton Eskimos in last year's finale. Interestingly enough the last time the Lions won was in 2000 over the Alouettes in Calgary 28-26. I don't think it'll be that close when the two meet in Winnipeg this Sunday. The Lions win by a TD and a rouge 28-20.

Alright, I gotta skidaddle if I'm gonna get this Grey Cup party organized in time! Smoked meats for everyone!