Saturday, November 11, 2006

WEEK TEN: VIVA LA KITNA!

Here some things I wanna get in before the picks.

- Here's a fun little game that'll entertain you during any game. My bro-seph, Billyball and myself found it rather amusing. I call it the Bermanator game. What you do is come up with nicknames for the players playing ala Chris Berman. The winner for our first time was Bill with Jeff " Here Comes the" Hostettler.

-On the "hit" NBC show Las Vegas there were two clever lines (this could be the total for the whole run of the show, not sure):
1) "Dundler Mifflin just booked another ballroom we need to beef up security" As in Dundler Mifflin from another NBC show, the Office.
2) At a bar with some dude trying to pick up a girl with a leather top another guy walks up and says, "You're with me leather." Classic.

Alright here's what you came for, possibly:

JETS @ PATRIOTS- The Pats have two losses. One to the undefeated Colts and the other to the Broncos, both at home. Go figure? So much for the Razor's Edge and I ain't talking about Razor Ramon's finishing maneuver. Luckily the Jets aren't as good as the Colts or the Broncos. And Mangini and the Jets (sing it like Benny and the jets by Elton John....Man-man-man mangini and the Jets!) It's solid gold baby! Pats win it 23-11

CHARGERS @ BENGALS-
Ocho Cinco might be declaring "No Mas!" in this one my amigos! "Whale's Vagina" takes it 24-21.

REDSKINS @ EAGLES-
The Eagles better regain focus and realize that they can't just, in the words of Winston Churchill, "half arse it" through most of the game and expect to come out victorious. I have a sneaking suspicion that 1) We will see Jason Campbell, (mmmm, mmm m better.) and 2) The sluggish Eagles come out a fightin and knck the Deadskins aruond for four quarters. Seriously though does Joe Gibbs think Mark Brunell is Mark Rypien or something? And I don't mean does he think he is the next Mark Rypien, I mean the actual Mark Rypien. Maybe Snyder should stop carousing with TomKat and have Mark Rypien stop by at a practice so Joe Gibbs can see them side by side. Either he'll get it or think he's losing his mind, either way, it's win-win in Raljohn, Maryland. Oh yeah, Eagles win it 14-3

CHIEFS @ DOLPHINS-
Damon Huard's triumphant return to Miami. This will be his eighth start this year. The only time he started anywhere near that many games in an NFL season, well, that was in 1999, with, you guessed it, the Miami Dolphins. This could be close, but ,make no mistakes about it, last week was an anomaly. I assure you the Dolphins are no good. I repeat the Dolphins are no good. That being said they can probably rattle good ol' Damon "Don't call me Brock, cause that's not my name! Seriously that's my brother, I am Damon. D-a-m-o-n" Huard and could squeak outa win. Naaaaahhhhhh! Chiefs take it 27-26

COWBOYS @ CARDINALS-
A lot of people, myself included, thought the Buzzsaw that is the Arizona Cardinals would be a borderline playoff contender. That is clearly not the case. Is it true it's Garth "wee, wee, wee" Jax day at the Bird's Nest? And the first 10,000 fans get a free bag of Jax? Guess you'll have to either go or find ssomewhere to watch it folks. In the biggest upset I've predicted all season, the Kingdom of the Mighty Cardinal win it on a last second FG by Neil "Cheese and" Rackers 24-23. That's what I want to happen anyways, Romo Arrogato if you please!

BILLS @ COLTS-
A classic AFC East rivalry, but Jim Kelly and Jack Trudeau are long gone. And I'm afraid neither Pete Metzalaars nor Quentin Coryatt are suiting up for this one. If you think this is a gimme for the Colts that you don't know Dick.....Jauron! Colts win it but it's closer than you think 21-20. It's okay Billyball, the Quarterback class is looking strong next year I'm told.

49ERS @ LIONS-
Hey Wayne Fontes just give the, oh wait, sorry Rod Marinelli, wellllllll eeeeeeexxxxxxxxcccccccccuuuuuuuuussssssse me! Anyways give that ball to Kitna and let him create. Kitna is awesome! Lions win it 47-31.

RAVENS @ TITANS-
Poor, poor Vince Young. Oh and let's not everyone start talking abour Brian Billick as an offensive genius. In two games without Jim "check out this Stegosaurus" Fassel they have scored more points, but they have several defensive TDs and I'm sure the bevy of turnovers they had against the Saints helped set up some good field position. NOw I'm not saying Jim Fassel was good or that he should still have his job, but if you think the offense is all of a sudden better, think again. Just wait until Week 13 when Steve McNair's leg falls off and Ray Lewis accidentally eats Kyle Boller. Then what? Hmmm! Yeah well they should have no trouble with the Titans, Ravens win it 20-6

BROWNS @ FALCONS-
The Falcons are up and down as I predicted, and as a result who know what'll happen in this one. Well I do, of course! They will win it 21-14

PACKERS @ VIKINGS-
A Packers victory and they could actually be in the playoff hunt. Will it happen? In my estimation, no. Vikes pillage AND plunder and defeat everyone's favoritest gunslinger 13-10.

TEXANS @ JAGUARS-
The Jaguars can beat good teams, but struggle against the dregs of the league. But no one has ever lost to the Texans twice in a season. "Is that true," you may ask? It could be. Sounds good. Jags avenge their first loss and win it 28-14

SEAHAWKS @ RAMS-
Who'da thunk this would be the battle for first in the NFC West? Honestly? This should be interesting, but I like the Rams in a shootout 35-31.

SAINTS @ STEELERS-
Sure I rag on the Steelers plenty and mostly it's because, well, I hate them. Is it Charlie Batch time Steelers fans? I think so. You know what? I have a hunch they beat the Saints with the aid of the Spirits of the Ketchup Packet 22-17

BRONCOS VS. RAIDERS-
Broncs win it 27-6

BEARS @ GIANTS-
With the all injuries on either side this might not live up to it's billing. Buuuuuuuuuttttttt then again, maybe it will? With logic like that I should run for office. Bears win it 5-3.

BUCCANEERS @ PANTHERS-
Here's another Monday Night thriller. Note the sarcasm. Well, it's B-Grad's chance to shine on the national stage and shine he shall. But the Panthers are just a much better team. Panther's win it 24-13. But the big question is who will be the in-booth guest this week? Well here's a list of people who should be on the short list. Some good 'ol folks who were at some point in their life, for some period of time, Charlotte residents. Here we go: Grandmama, Mugsy Bogues, Kelly Tripucka, Billy Graham, DJ Flash or Ric Flair, whoooooo!

SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS VS. BRITISH COLUMBIA LIONS- The Lions snag the Grey Cup by four rouges!

Congrats Democrats!
And that's all I got!

1 comment:

  1. pretty dead on in your bills-colts prediction...well played.

    ReplyDelete