Saturday, January 20, 2007

TJ WHO'S YOUR MAMA, championship.

Well it's about that time kids. We're mere hours away from the NFL's Conference Championship Games and you need the "Bitterness" take on 'em. But first a big announcement! We are deciding that we will make our big announcement on February 9th, 2007, one day before Obama and a day before Billyball's birthday! But for now you'll just have to get lost in the stuff you really need to know about Sunday's combatants, in classic Nick Bakay face-off style:

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS @ CHIGAGO (that't not a typo)BEARS:
FOOD:
New Orleans:
Jammmm-ba-la-ya! While this not exactly the only food, it is the most fun to say. The area is known for it's Creole, Cajun cooking. Spicy stuff that'll keep ya sweatin, like some good 'ol fashioned Jambalya Crawfish Pie!

Chigago: Oh so delicious thick-crusted pizza with lots of topping on it!

While this is close I give the advantage to Chigago

CITY NICKNAME:
New Orleans:
Most notably the Big Easy. Hey that was our prom queen's nickname, go figure.

Chigago: The Windy City. Many think this nickname comes from the gusts of wind that blow throughout the city, but it actually comes from the hot air emanating from it's politicians.

If anyone, Saints fans, are not fans of wind. Edge: Saints

FAMOUS FANS:
New Orleans:
The Crescent city has at one time been home to such actors as John Larroquette, star of TV's Night Court and the John Laroquette show. Ellen Degeneres, host of the Ellen Degeneres Show and former star of Ellen. And John Goodman, the star of Roseanne and King Ralph. Such musical artists as B. Gizzle aka B.G., C-Murder, Mystikal, Master P and Silkk the Shocker and the rap group U.N.L.V. (I believe that stands for the University of Nevada-Las Vegas). And then there's Truman Capote and Tennessee Williams. Other famous peeps include the whitest black man around, Bryant Gumbel, former New York Mets outfielder Ron Swoboda and Josef Delarose Lascaux, the inventor of Cotton Candy as well as the Mannings.

Chigago: Notables include Eddie Vedder, the Smashing Pumpkins, Peter Cetera ( I liked to be at Wrigley when he belts out Take Me Out to the Ballgame), Da Brat and Miles Davis. And of course you know about Bill Murray, Vince Vaughn and John Cusack, but don't forget Mr. T, Rick Moranis or your friend Billy Zane. It also has been home to Enrico Fermi, Shel Silverstein, and Carl Sandburg.

Wow what a list! Gotta give the advantage to the Second City.

TV SHOWS:
New Orleans:
Real World New Orleans or Thief?

Chigago:
While a new fav of "Bitterness", My Boys, takes place in Chigago. It of course also was the backdrop for ER and Chicago Hope, but the most famous show ever to take place in Chigago is of course...."Standing tall...." yep you guessed it, Perfect Strangers.

Advantage: Chigago

MOST NOTABLE HEAD COACH:
New Orleans: Ditka

Chigago: Ditka

Advantage: Chigago


BEST FOOD NAMED AFTER PLAYER:

New Orleans: Bobby Hebert-"battered chicken". Scott "Chicken or Steak" Fujita.


Chigago: Mike Singletary-aki Chicken. The Jay Hilgen-burger.

Gotta give the advantage to New Orleans

Hurricanes rebounded from this century:
New Orleans: Katrina

Chigago: None

Advantage Saints
So it's pretty easy to see why the Saints will win 27-21.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS @ INDIANAPOLIS COLTS:

FOOD:
New England:
Seafood, with Clam Chowder or CHOWDAH! topping the list. It is a fav of this blog, that's for sure!

Indianapolis:
Corn Chowder. Some even call it Maize Chowder. Actually I have no idea what food is native to Indy, but I'm sure it isn't better than Clam Chowder, C'MON!

Advantage: New England


BOY BAND:
New England:
That would be New Kids on the Block. Yes Donnie, Jordan, Joey, Danny and Johnathan were Hangin' Tough in Beantown, rootin on the Pats "wicked hahd".

Indianapolis: The Jackson Five. Okay so they were from Gary, Indiana, but NKOTB was actually from Boston and the Patriots play in Foxboro, so we're gonna let this go as well. While Tito and Germaine give the J5 an advantage, only Michael made any real name for himself once the group disbanded, but he's a vreep pedophile and minus points for going from a short black boy to a tall white woman.

Advantage New England.

NOTED FOR:
New England:S
eafood and crappy, often times unpredictable weather.

Indianapolis:
Basketball and car racing.

While college hoops are good, I hate the Hoosiers and auto racing, advantage New England.


BREWS:

New England: Chowdah? or perhaps Sam Adams or Harpoon?

Indianapolis:
Rock Bottom #9 or Circle City Brews

Advantage...New England


TV SHOW/ MOVIE:
New England:
While picking the best thing on a screen to have Beantown as it's backdrop I narrowed it down to Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place, Boston Common and Celtic Pride.

Indianapolis:
Hoosiers.

While Hoosiers is an awesome movie and we here at "Bitterness" are very fond of Gene Hackman as an actor and a handsome older man, we gotta give the advantage to New England.

So there you have it the Patriots will win it on a last second field goal by Steven Gostkowski.

Well now you know what you really need to know about the conference title games, so go forth and conquer some halftime buffets. And congrats too us for being the first blog to ever reference both New Kids on the Block, Perfect Strangers and Silkk the Shocker in one post. This may not be true, and if it isn't let me know because there's a blog I wanna read!

1 comment:

  1. some of the best blogging I have EVER SEEN!! These past two posts, brilliant my friend.

    ReplyDelete