WEEK FIFTEEN:

Little late with the picks this week, which you obviously already know. And since we're feelin' lazy this week, we thought we'd hand this week's picks over to a guest blogger. Someone who is more into ranting on Sundays. An icon in the journalism field. A man who has been spinnin' crazy for like a two hundred some odd years. That's right, the one, the only Andy Rooney.....


LIONS @ COLTS: If the Lions won a game, it would take a lot of the fun out of ridiculing them. Colts 31-17.

REDSKINS @ BENGALS: Some Indians are offended by the name "Redskins". Personally I find it offensive that people from India have any say in the matter. I liked Ghandi, he was a great house guest. Didn't eat much and picked up after himself. Now he's an Indian I respect. Redskins 23-14.

BILLS @ JETS: The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Brett Favre is not your average person, he's from Mississippi. I was in Mississippi once, and that was one more time than I wanted to be. Bills 17-13.

49ERS @ DOLPHINS: Did you ever notice that 1930 "niners" smell like pickled onions? I don't know why, but its always made me like them. As for Dolphins, the only one I ever liked was Flipper. If he could have survived on land it would have been some sort of crazy science-fiction show, like Will and Grace. Dolphins 21-17.


CHARGERS @ CHIEFS: Some say the forward pass reinvented the game of football. But I still wouldn't play without wearing a helmet. Chargers 27-20.

TITANS @ TEXANS: When I eat ribs, I stuff a napkin in my shirt, so it folds out and covers the front. Some people think this is embarrassing, but I guess I'm just one of those kooks who doesn't like barbecue sauce on my shirt. Titans 10-9.

BUCCANEERS @ FALCONS: People will genuinely accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. Falcons 21-14.

PACKERS @ JAGUARS: The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50 percent chance of winning, there's a 90% probability you'll lose. Packers 27-17.

SEAHAWKS @ RAMS: I've never found the humor in flatulence. To me its about as funny as yawning and slightly less humorous than sneezing. Seahawks 35-27.

BRONCOS @ PANTHERS: Football's alright, but nothing quite matches the grace and carnage of a good ol' fashioned roller derby. Girls in short skirts on roller skates are the real athletes. Put a three hundred pound offensive lineman up on roller skates, and see what you get. Your bound to be entertained, but he won't. Panthers 27-17.

PATRIOTS @ RAIDERS: A great way to save money in these trying times, is to stop "mega-sizing" your fast food value meals. In most cases its not even worth the extra 39 cents, and before long you won't even miss it. Patriots 38-13.

STEELERS @ RAVENS: At a Christmas party last year I got drunk on rum raisin ice cream. It made me wonder why there's no scotch raisin ice cream? When I woke up the next morning I was on the floor in a puddle of scotch, heavenly hash ice cream and raisins. Come to think of it, there was no ice cream at that party. Steelers 24-21.


VIKINGS @ CARDINALS: In my mind "delicacy" is just another word for creepy, weird food that others won't want to eat. I mean, some foreign delicacies include bull testicles, monkey brains and eggplant. If slapping the word "delicacy" on them is supposed to make it more appetizing, then I'm the Easter bunny. Note: I am not, in fact, the Easter bunny. Cardinals 30-21.

GIANTS @ COWBOYS: We may never know what the smartest animal is, but I'd like to register my vote for the pigeon. Cowboys 24-23.

BROWNS @ EAGLES: Did you ever wonder what the deal is with this "Shirtless Gutenburg"? Where exactly is his shirt, and how did he lose it? Is this supposed to be entertaining? Cause I just don't get it? Sure we'd all just love to rip our shirts off, stick our hairy chests out and grin, but we don't. You never see a "Shirtless Rooney" do ya? Unless you're talking about that hack Mickey! Eagles 17-13.