WEEK FOUR: ANY WHICH WAY BUT KITNA

In week three:

The Bills snapped their losing streak against the Patriots, and took over sole posssesion of 1st in the AFC East because...the Jets were beaten by the upstart Raiders who did not need to come from 20 points down to win like....the Lions, who are 3-0 for the first time in quite some time, after becoming the third team in a row to come back from a double digit deficit against.....the Vikings, who couldn't hold a lead if they had a hot date with a....I lost my train of thought. Umm, OH, the Packers win, but were deaked out of their tight pants by the Bears on a late punt return which was almost a touchdown, but not for a big holding penalty, and it was just slightly more exciting than....the monsoon that enveloped the Jags-Panthers game for about a quarter or so which would have been a great excuse for...the 1st 13-8 final in NFL history, but sadly the Bengals-Niners battle of futility was played in the bright sunshine not under the lights like....the Monday nighter that saw the second 9-9 halftime score ever in NFL history as the Cowboys won with out scoring a touchdown. Well, quite a week for sure and I gotta believe week four will be just as compelling as the Lions and Bills go for 4-0? Still doesn't sound quite right but I like it!

DETROIT @ DALLAS (-1): Is Tony Romo tough, stupid, or both? Well, say what you will (lord knows I will throughout the season) but I'd take Romo over Brady any day....in the octagon. Well, maybe not a day with cracked ribs. Maybe. While I'm not, and may never be, sold on Romo's playing ability, the Cowboys defense may be turning a corner and right now that could certainly keep them in the NFC East race. I mean how does a team win, without scoring a touchdown and fumbling six, count 'em, six times? Defense probably has something to do with that, right? Although I wouldn't exactly call the 'Skins an offensive juggrenaut even with Sexy Rexy at the helm (sorry long time "Bitterness" reader Rex Grossman's mom).

On the other side of the field will be the Lions who are 3-0 for the first time since, well, I dunno, but it's been decades, plural, since it happened. Not even the Scott Mitchell or Erik Kramer Lions started a season 3-0. They also never did it once with Barry Sanders in the backfield. Another fun note, is the last Lions QB to lead them back from a 20 point deficit is Bobby Layne.

Now, I don't know how good the Lions really are yet, but I am inclined to beleive they are somewhat legit. And I think you all know I don't toss around that "somewhat legit" label around freely! LIONS 27-21

NEW ORLEANS @ JACKSONVILLE (+7): No one is gonna confuse this year's Saints defense with the Steel Curtain defense of the Steelers or the '85 Bears defense that's for darned sure. I guess, to be fair, they were torched by a couple of pretty good QBs. Sunday they get a QB with exactly one NFL start under his belt. Barring another gorilla monsoon like in last week's Jags' game, I'd say the Saints should not have too much trouble in this one. SAINTS 31-18

SAN FRANCISCO @ PHILADELPHIA (-8.5): Michael Vick has practiced and says he's 100% sure he'll play against the Niners on Sunday. Well that's good enough for me, Dr. Vick! Even if he does play, there's no guarantee he'll be 100% and right now he's having trouble taking snaps under center, which is sort of a pretty big part of his duties on Sunday. If the Eagles have to have Kafka be king of "The Castle" (obscure literary reference of the week) again, it may spell trouble for Philly. EAGLES 21-17

WASHINGTON @ ST. LOUIS (+1.5): This weeks's winner of "the game I could not care less about" award. The Rams have shown little improvement week to week and, in fact, seemed to take a giant leap backwards last week. Which means this is a no-brainer to pick the Skins, which is what I will do, which is why the Rammers have an excellent shot at getting their first "W" of the season. REDKSINS 27-21

TENNESSEE @ CLEVELAND (-1): All the talk since Manning was not going to start for Indy, has been about the AFC South is the Texans division to lose. But hold the phone! How did people dismiss the Titans from the get go? I mean they've played decent enough and at some point you gotta think CJ will start making an impact, right? Please say yes, cause Turn and Coughlin is 0-3 and could really use some production from our first round pick already! Okay, sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, don't sleep on the Titans, or hay, it's downright itchy. TITANS 31-21

BUFFALO @ CINCINNATI (+3): Buffalo is flying high this week. While I can't say I was sure the Williams would win last week, I knew they'd cover. "So, is it safe to now say the Bills are for real this year?" you may be asking. They have their shortcomings for sure, but right now they have a very good shot at 4-0 as long as they don't get too overconfident after their big win last week. BILLS 35-15

MINNESOTA @ KANSAS CITY (-1.5): The Vikings have blown double digit leads in all three of their games this season. The last, a 20 point lead against the division rival Lions. Now it seems like it's hard to put all of this on the shoulders of my fellow Syracuse alum, Donovan McNabb, but I have seen very little of their games, so I can't really say. What I can say is most Vikings fans are no longer pondering, but calling for a QB change to, well, Ponder. I think the Vikes hold on this week against the Charlesless Chieves. VIKINGS 23-14

CAROLINA @ CHICAGO (-6.5): The Bears probably had the play of the day Sunday with that punt return that faked everyone out, including the cameraman! Everyone watching at home was wondering what was happening as we did not even see Johnny Knox catch that punt. Too bad a holding penalty negated that effort. Meanwhile Cam Newton was stumbling a bit, partly in a monsoon, against the Jags and now he gets da Bears, could be another long afternoon for the rookie. BEARS 27-15

PITTSBURGH @ HOUSTON (-4): The Steelers may very well make the playoffs this year, but right now they're not looking a team that should. Their offensive line is a civ and, well, most of their team is kinda old. The Texans on the other hand are the fancy schmancy pick to win the AFC South. Well, they had their chance to impress me last week, and while they did put up a valiant effort and have been without Arian Foster for the most part, I'm still not buyin' what their sellin'. That being said, I think they win this one. TEXANS 22-14

ATLANTA @ SEATTLE (+4.5): I don't know much about the Seahawks, and I don't care to. I'm still holding on to the idea the Falcons are gonna be good, but it's getting harder and harder (that's what she said?) by the week. FALCONS 45-17

NEW YORK GIANTS @ ARIZONA (+1.5): Yeah, there was quite a contest for "the game I coul not care less about". Frankly beating the Eagles last week didn't impress me as much as it impressed most. I guess it depends on how good the Eagles defense really is. I'll tell ya this much, if Victor Cruz keeps doing his best Phil McConkey impersonation




for the G-men, everything else is cream cheese! GIANTS 21-14

MIAMI @ SAN DIEGO (-7): Am I the only one who still sees the name Tony Sparano and thinks Tony Soprano? I'm surprised I haven't seen shirts with "the Sparanos" on them, knocking off the Sopranos logo. Although, I guess Miami fans aren't all that bright (Miami fans send your hate mail to jayfiedler@imanidiot.net ) and maybe don't know the Sopranos were fictional and are trying to avoid the wrath of Tony. Or maybe it's because it depitcs a firearm?

I'd assume they'd just put Snowflake there in it's place, right?

Anyways, the Chargers always start slow, so the fact they are 2-1 has to be a good sign for Norv and company. Plus the Dolphins don't appear to be very good, so a 3-1 record seems to be in the cards for the Bolts. CHARGERS 24-10

DENVER @ GREEN BAY (-12.5): The Packers are legit, but I feel like they may play down to their opponents, and that 12.5 spread is a bit daunting. Basically, I try to not pick teams to cover double digit spreads and this is no different, even though they could very well cover. Got that? PACKERS 28-17

NEW ENGLAND @ OAKLAND (+4): The Belichik Patriots rarely lose two in a row it seems, so the Raiders may very well just be Tom Brady's whipping boys this Sunday, regardless of the fact they may be good this year and this game is in the black hole amongst all them passionate (read: psychotic) Raiders fans. PATRIOTS 38-24

NEW YORK JETS @ BALTIMORE (-3.5): This'll be a defensive battle, one would reckon. I'm inclined to believe the Ravens we saw in weeks one and three were the real Ravens. Or, maybe they'll only play good in odd numbered weeks, who the heck knows? RAVENS 23-17

INDIANAPOLIS @ TAMPA BAY (-10): Okay, this was very much in the running for "the game this week I could not care less about" but I am kind of curious to see what the Bucs do and c'mon ya gotta care about primetime games featuring Curtis Painter, right? I mean look at that punim:

Am I right folks? Well, his family might wanna watch. I said, "might". BUCCANEERS 16-10

So, there ya have it, another week of picks in the books, enjoy the games and your cheese: