WEEK FOUR: REVENGE OF THE BYES

"Bye weeks? Bronco Nagurski didn't get no bye weeks, and now he's dead!....Well...maybe they're a good thing." Ah, the immortal words of Morris "Moe" Szyslak.


So true. Maybe they are a good thing? I mean not from a fantasy standpoint. I mean that's basically why I was streaming Kirk Cousins on Thursday night, so you can see what I am saying. This is one of two weeks, I believe (I'm not gonna research this or anything), where six, yes six, teams will be on a bye. Almost 20% (18.75% in case you don't have your Texas Instruments graphing calculator handy) of the league is on byes this week.

 Now, I'm sure making the schedule is no easy task, what with travel and time zones or whatever, but is it absolutely, positively, necessary for six teams to be on a bye one week and have other weeks where only two teams have byes? Hey maybe there is something deeper at work here, but I am the only one who remembers when one whole division would have a bye week? Now, that would cause a bit more planning, but now it seems more willy nilly (not a word according to spell check) than anything. Why not have eight weeks of byes, instead of nine, and have four teams off, each of those weeks? Would that really be so hard? Would it? I'm actually asking here, people.

So you cut the number of bye weeks to eight, now let's start them later in the season. I mean, I get it, some teams are going to get the short end of the stick, regardless of how you slice this, but after week thress, three, these professional athletes, these prime physical specimens (you know, your Vince Wilfork-types notwithstanding) need a break? Let's have teams actually get into the season, before we give them a week off from playing a game, huh?

If we use the eight bye week format (as I think we should) you could start in week six and the byes would be done in week 13. Heck (sorry for cussing), start 'em in week seven and end in week 14.  Bye weeks end in week 12, so what's another week or two? I'm sure players would rather have a week off from games as close to the playoffs as possible. You end in week 13, you still have four weeks with full slates of games. But remember, you have also added an extra week with a full slate of games, by cutting out a bye week. Now, if you really wanna go hog wild, do five weeks, with six teams on  byes and one lonely week with two teams having a bye. Now, we can start the byes much later, when more teams would actually need them and we've now added three more weeks without a bye. Fans win, players win, everyone's happy (#WillForNFLCommissioner)! No need to chime in right away, let it simmer and get back to me. For now, let's take a look at week four, Twitter style.

Syracuse (+9) vs #8 Notre Dame- Come on #Cuse! At least hang in for a half of football and I'll be happy! #OrangeNation Notre Dame 34-17

Dolphins (-3.5) vs Raiders (in London)- Carr-Tannehill! Yeah, that's all you get, #England. #notaxationwithoutrepresentation #U-S-A Dolphins 24-14

Packers (-2) at Bears- This'll be a #shootout. Go w/ the QB with more endorsements #discountdoublecheckdowntoLacy Packers 31-27

Texans (-3) vs Bills- Feels like a trap, after #Texans were shredded by Eli, but, hey, I'm a moron. #HighWattage Texans 24-17

Colts (-8) vs Titans- Perfect trap game here, for Luck and the boys, I think? #RiseofSankey Colts 26-20

Ravens (-3.5) vs Panthers- #Slugfest #slobberknocker #gonnagetugly #wininthetrenches Ravens 20-16

Lions (-1.5) vs Jets- Joique Bell? More like "Joke" Bell with just 33 yards on 15 carries last week. #Joiquesonyou Lions 24-20

Steelers (-7.5) vs Buccaneers- Bucs gameplan: embarrass themselves less than last week.  Steelers 28-14

Chargers (-13) vs Jaguars- Borltes era begins; Jags era of terribleness....continues. Chargers 35-21

49ers (-5) vs Eagles- WTF? Could Kaepernick and Niners really start 1-3?! OMG LOLZ. #Kaepernickisbicepual 49ers 28-24

Falcons (-3) at Vikings- Teddy Bridgewater gets 1st start; my parents went to Bridgewater State College. #ThatsallIhavetosayaboutthat Vikings 24-23

Saints (-3) at Cowboys- Might as well read Underachieving (-3) at Undertalented #BURN Saints 31-23 

Patriots (-3.5) at Chiefs- For some reason, I see an Monday night upset in the cards. #UpsetSpecial Chiefs 21-20

That's it, that's all I got, go away, now!

ARE YOU PREPARED FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

It's Thursday night football and a good portion of my undisciplined chums are headed over tonight!

Giants (+3.5) at Redskins: Alright, this Thursday night we have another division skirmish on the docket, but do we have another blowout on our hands? Last week the lopsided Thursday night game took on a new meaning, with the Falcons' dismantling of the Buccaneers, 56-14. I don't think you'll see that this week, but, what do I know, really?

Look, it's very easy to dismiss Eli having a respectable game, last week. Oh, sorry, did you think I was going to follow that up with a "but" or some sort of caveat (which I recently learned is not a sort of scarf thing; that's a cravat)? Nope, just stating a fact. Sure, Eli was decent for, arguably, the first time in 2014 and sure, it was against the defensive juggernaut that is the Texans, but, well, come on, it's still Eli.


Right? Okay, Eli's not that terrible, but his supporting cast right now is, well, not terrible, but not so good. But are they good enough to beat the 'Skins?

The 'Skins defense has actually been pretty decent this season, allowing the third fewest rushing yards and tenth fewest passing yards in the NFL thus far. Really too early to tell what to believe, but Kirk Cousins does look darned decent out there and the Giants pass defense has, umm, not. The Giants are 22nd in the NFL in passing yards allowed per game, so I think Kirk Cousins puts up some big digits this week, but blowout big? Are we headed for that classic "should a player lose his job because of injury?" scenarios?

I know how we all love those (just ask Drew Bledsoe). Now, it is really far, far too soon to tell what kind of entree Cousins is bringing to the dinner table (it's a saying...or at least it's gonna be), but I am sure the thought of RG III losing his job is rattling around the heads of sports fans in DC and elsewhere. In fact, I have a friend who is a Redskins fan (he's from the DC area, so I allow it) and he texted me last week saying, "It's Cousins show now." So, tune in tonight as the ascension of Kirk Cousins into the Mark Rypien strata (why not?) continues.

Oh, and also, in 2014 the home team has not only won every Thursday night game, but won it in fairly convincing fashion. I think that trend continues Thursday, with the Redskins triumphing over the G-men, 28-17.