Okay, so we missed a week of picks. Sometime things come up, like laziness and procrastination and delicious roast beef sandwiches!




On with the show!

BRONCOS @ TITANS- It seems like the Titans are only as good as Vince Young. Which is not super, really, since VY has not ever really been consistent. Not sure what to make of the Broncos, but I am almost never sold on them, so.....Titans 23-13

RAVENS @ STEELERS- The Ravens added Anquan Boldin and TJ Whosyourmamma, to bolster an offense to supplement an already stellar defense. The defense is still stellarish, but the "O" has not lived up to anything close to the hype and I can't say it will get any easier for them this week at the Ketchup Packet. This one will be defensive slugfest of the highest order. That's right, the HIGHEST order! Ravens 7-6

BENGALS @ BROWNS- I expected biggish things from the Bengals this season, and after week one that looked like lofty expectations. The Bengals rebounded by edging out the Ravens and then beating the Panthers. What's standing between them and 3-1? Seneca Wallace. Seneca Wallace? That's what the Browns came into this season with? Jake Delhomme and Seneca Wallace? Really? Probably safe to say the Dawg Pound was not banking on a playoff trip this year. Bengals 27-17

LIONS @ PACKERS- The Pack will be looking to rebound from the Monday night loss, and while the Lions are full of sass, I feel the Pack should be okay in week four. Packers 28-16

PANTHERS @ SAINTS- I'm pretty sure I am not the only one waiting for the Saints to just, as the kids say, "go off". Thus far the Saints first three games have been decided by a total, yes TOTAL, of 11 points. Of course part of having sucess in the NFL is winning close games, but still, it would be nice if the Saints would show a bit of dominance at some point. This could be the week! Saints 31-14

49ERS @ FALCONS- The Niners were one of the darlings in almost everyone's, preseason predictions, but thus far they have been, well, not good. Normally, I'd say not to panic, since they are in the NFC West, but the Seahawks are proving to be a bit of a fly in the ointment. That and the fact I picked the Dirty Birds to be playing in the final game of the year, spells trouble and, more than likely, 0-4 for the Niners. Falcons 28-13

SEAHAWKS @ RAMS- Both these squads raised eyebrows, or so I am told (I didn't actually see any eyebrows raise, it's more of an expression I guess) last week, with a couple of surprising wins. How sold am I on the 'Hawks? Not very. The Rams are up and coming and Slingin' Sammy Bradford is settling in nicely. Something tells me I should pick the 'Hawks, but I'm not gonna. Rams 23-17

JETS @ BILLS- The Hahvahd boy, Ryan Fitzpatrick can sling a pigskin wicked hahd! But unfortunately for him the Jets "D" is a smidge better than the Pats, so it could be a long afternoon in Orchard Park for the Billsies. Jets 24-9

COLTS @ JAGUARS- I can't really think of any logical reason the Colts would lose this game. Colts 31-14

TEXANS @ RAIDERS- I can't really think of any logical reason the Texans would lose this game. Texans 27-13

CARDINALS @ CHARGERS- The Chargers are off to their typical slow start, which makes it a perfect time for the Cards to pull off the upset. It is very possible to upset the Bolts (see Chiefs, Kansas City and Seahawks, Seattle) at this juncture. But, I would see the odds are better, that the Chargers will prevail. Chargers 27-20

REDSKINS @ EAGLES- McNabb Bowl I! D-Nabb's first game in Philly not wearing the green and white, should be worth watching. But if I know one thing, it's that Philadelphia fans are always willing to greet their former players with nothing but adoration, respect and kindness. I mean if there is a kinder and gentler fan base in sports than in Philly, I dare you to find it! Eagles 28-17

BEARS @ GIANTS- This is an intriguing matchup, for sure. I don't know what to make of either team. Are the Bears good? Are the Giants bad? I think the answer to both questions is, maybe. I've never thought much of Jay Cutler, but combine a Mike Martz offense with a bruising defense and all of sudden you've got a team that just might be darned good. Darned, I say! I'm still not sold on Jay-C, but with that defense, he doesn't need to be Joe Montana to keep Da Bears in games. On the other side, that supposed stud defense of the G-men has been torched for 67 points in the last two games. Doesn't look good for the Giants. Bears 31-21

PATRIOTS @ DOLPHINS- The Pats defense is not what it once was, to say the least, but can Chad Henne and comapany take advantage of said lamer defense? Well, Mark Sanchez did. Ryan Fitzpatrick did. So why not Chad Henne? Dolphins 24-23

Well there you have your week four picks! And now for your cheese.....

WTF?!

With the Major League Baseball at it's All-Star break, it's of course time for the "47th Annual Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch All-W.T.F. Teams". For those of you who missed the announcing of the previous 46 years of "Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch All-WTF Teams" and don't know what W.T.F. is, it stands for "What The Fiddlesticks?!" You see these are teams comprised of players that have produced stats in the first half of the season that are, let us just say, not in tune, with their expected production. Now we don't divvy up the teams by leagues. Oh, no-no, we divide them by whether their stats are above or below expectations. So, without further ado, on with the show:

TEXAS OUT-OF-RANGERS
C-John Buck, Blue Jays- Like many of the Blue Jays, Big Buck Hunter has been htting a bit above his paygrade.

1B-Troy Glaus, Braves- The oft-injured Glaus, has been more like a semi-Glaus the past couple seasons, but even a healthy Glaus and his aging bones are out hitting expectations.

2B-Kelly Johnson, Diamondbacks- Now sure, I did have Rage KJ as a preseason fantasy sleeper, seeing as how he all but disappeared off of everyone's radar last season, but he has done way more than even I could have ever imagined.

3B-Casey McGeehee, Brewers- A solid start to his career last season, but me thinks he be hittin' a bit over his head.

SS-Alex Gonzalez, Blue Jays- Sea Bass, yes Sea Bass (thanks to Baseball-Refernce for that nickname tidbit), has bopped 17 dingers thus far, a total that he has only topped twice in his 11 previous major league seasons.

OF-Jose Bautista, Blue Jays- He's already beaten his career high tater total (try saying that five times fast!) at the break! In fact he's already beaten that career tater total by 8!

OF-Chris Young, Diamondbacks- Now sure, he's had plenty of hype, and the dingers are for real, but his average is up above where it belongs. Regression is on the way!

OF-Nick Swisher, Yankees- Much like C.Y., Swisher's home runs are no lie, with that right field porch in Yankee Stadium being like 50 feet from home plate. But also like C.Y., the average is due for a regression.
BENCH
3B-Scott Rolen, Reds- Much like Troy Glaus, Rolen has been oft-injured and is raking like he's 27 again, which makes ya take a bit of a double take when you see the numbers.

IF-Ty Wigginton, Orioles- Wiggy was gettin jiggy early on, and yes he's cooled, but not enough to not make the 2010 overachiever squad.

OF-Alfonso Soriano, Cubs- He's been on a steady decline the past few years and a major drain on the Cubbies' financially. Now, while he's no longer a 40-40 candidate, he could get back to the 30 homer mark, and that's something of a surprise.

OF-Cory Hart, Brewers- He hasn't been wearing his sunglasses at night, and that seems to have made all the difference. Dude's got 65 steaks at the break, which is impressive for a guy who has never managed more than 91 in a season, in his short career. Either he's finally putting it altogether or he's just having a ridiculously lucky first half.
IF-Juan Uribe, Giants- It's possible that if Charlie Manuel wanted a good utility guy for the All-Star team, he could have chosen Uribe over Omar Infante. Seeing as how Uribe has been far better than the worse All-Star ever picked, that was not his team's sole representative.

PITCHERS
R.A. Dickey, Mets- Nothing really pointed to this breakout in Flushing.

Barry Zito, Giants- Were the stories of his demise, greatly exaggerated?

Carlos Silva, Cubs- Silva was just about literally the worst regular starting pitcher in the league last year, so even a mediocre start to this year would have landed him on this team.

Carl Pavano, Twins- Pavano's actually pitching like everyone thought he would after that '04 campaign. Who woulda thunk it?
Jon Rauch, Twins- A lot of people went into "panic mode" when Joe Nathan went down in Spring Training, but Rauch has more than stepped up.

Matt Capps, Nationals- No one, okay not a lot of people, saw Cappie being a solid closer for the Nats and that's good enough for "Bitterness"!

MYLANTA BRAVES
C-Matt Wieters, Baltimore Orioles- A bit harsh, since he barely has a full season under his belt, sure. He has been decent, but he was spit out of the Hype-a-tron 3000, and while that's not his fault, it'll still land him on the 2010 underachievers.

1B-Mark Tiexeira, Yankees- Another slow start for Tex, but unlike past years, he really hasn't turned it on yet.

2B-Aaron Hill, Blue Jays- A former All-Star, who actually finished 12th in AL MVP voting last year, hitting below the Mendoza Line? Welcome to the team!

3B-Aramis Ramirez, Cubs- Aramis was terrible, then got injured, came back and started hitting somewhat. So he may be back on track, but the first half numbers are still bad, so he makes the squad.

SS-Yunel Escobar, Braves- Not a superstar by any means, but he's been solid in his short MLB career, and this year has been abysmalistic for YEscobar.

OF-Adam Lind, Blue Jays- After a breakout campaign last season, Lind has been struggling mightily, even going several weeks between multi-hit games.

OF-Shane Victorino, Phillies- The Flyin' Hawaiian has seen a lot more of hits fly outta the park, but his BA and OBP, are way down. But the dude can rock a white suit!

OF-Jason Bay, Mets- I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, the Metropolitans were looking for a bit more than 6 dingers at the break from the Bayniac. And before anyone blames the power outage on his playing in the vast expanses of Citi Field, just know he has almost 30 more homers on the road in his career. Even whilst playing with the Red Sox last year, he hit 15 HRs at Fenway, while socking 21 on the road!

BENCH
OF-Melky Cabrera, Braves- Now no one was expecting an All-Star season out of the "Melk Man", but .259, 3 HRs and 24 RBIs?

IF-Chone Figgins, Mariners- Not surprising to me, but until recently, the much ballyhooed off-season signing by the Ms, had been a major disappointment.

3B-Chase Headley, Padres- A solid finish to last season, had Chase as a sleeper going into 2010, but after a hot start, Headley has been merely mediocre.

1B-Carlos Pena, Rays- No one was expecting Carlos to compete for any batting titles, but .203 is bad, even for him. Couple that with a .415 slugging percentage, and he ends up here.

2B-Akinori Iwamura, Pirates- Iwamura looked like a sneaky good signing by the Buccos, but he has been awful, and lost his starting gig to rookie Neil Walker.

PITCHERS
Ricky Nolasco, Marlins- Going into last year Ricky was one of the up and coming pitchers in the majors. So what did he do? Pitched so badly, he was sent to Triple-A. He then returned and pitched to expectations in the second half, leaving him ready to make the emerge as an ace this year, right? Wrong. Once again Nolasco has struggled in the first half, although not as mightily as in '09, but mightily enough to earn a spot on this squad.

Dan Haren, Diamondbacks- Usually, Danny boy saves his struggles for the second half, but I guess he decided to get ahead this year.

Wandy Rodriguez, Astros- "Magic" Wandy, has been anything but, this year. He took a big leap forward last year, but must not have said, "Mother may I?" as he has fallen way back this season.

Javier Vazquez, Yankees- While it comes as no surprise to this blogger, Javy's return to the A.L., has been a bit shaky. Oh, and if you think it's because of his home park, think again. His E.R.A. is actually higher on the road.

Carlos Zambrano, Cubs- Unless you live under a rock that does not get MLB Network, you don't need this one explained.

Trevor Hoffman, Brewers- We all knew age was catching up with the all-time saves leader, but it appears to have not only caught up with him, but also tossed him around a bit and stole his ability to get guys out.

Joba Chamberlain, Yankees- The supposed heir apparent to Mariano Rivera's throne in New York, is carrying an E.R.A. up over 5.00 at the break. Yikes!

Well there are your "47th Annual Bitterness is a Fish you Can Catch All-W.T.F. Teams"! Hope you enjoyed and keep on, keep on truckin'!

BURNING QUESTIONS, BOLDISH PREDICTIONS AND OPENING NIGHT THOUGHTS

The wait is over! Baseball is back and so is "Bitterness", with our burning questions and boldish predictions for the 2010 MLB season.

BURNING QUESTIONS

• Is there anyone in the Cubs organization that should not be on the hot seat?
• Can the "Pitcher Whisperer" Dave Duncan work his magic on Brad Penny?
• Is anyone else not jumping on the Mariners bandwagon? Yes they have King Felix and Cliff Lee, but who's at the back end of that rotation?
• And how is Carlos Silva in a Major League rotation?
• What would ever, ever, ever possess Jayson Werth to shave off that gorgeous beard? Really the only thing I did not love about Jayson Werth was his weird beatnik soul patch thingamabob.
• Where have you gone Rocky Biddle?
• Why have I not been calling Tommy Hanson "Jump Street" sooner than now?
• Can Brian Bannister be the next Mark Gubicza?
• Do the Astros understand the term "scouting"?
• Will anyone suffer more injuries than the Mets?
  
• What's the over under on number of days Nick Johnson spends on the DL?
• Can Jason Heyward actually hit the moon with a batted ball?
• Will the Giants be able to scrape together enough runs to take the NL West?
• Will anyone try to top Kyle Blanks' afro?
• What is Billy Beane doing?
• Has anyone asked Jamie Moyer how he used to pitch Babe Ruth?
• Why would you build a new baseball field in Minnesota without at least a retractable roof?
• Can everyone just cool it with all the "run prevention" talk when talking about the Red Sox?

BOLDISH PREDICTIONS

• Jay Bruce will hit 40+ home runs.
• Roy Halladay will not win 20 games, nor will he win the Cy Young award.
• Tim Lincecum will not win the Cy Young award.
• Joe Mauer will hit less than 25 homers.
• Adrian Gonzalez will not still be a Padre after the trade deadline.
• Javier Vazquez will spend time on the DL after incurring the wrath of CC when taking his last piece of pregame deep dish pizza.
• The Mariners will not make the playoffs.
• Tim McCarver will still be an old coot spittin' out all sortsa assinine.
• Nick Johnson will get injured.
• Curtis Granderson will hit less than 30 home runs.
• Evan Longoria will drive in at least 125 runs.
• Chan Ho Park will not last the whole season as a Yankee.
• Zank Grienke will still be outstanding.
• The Mets brass will try and hire Jack Klugman, TV's Quincy, MD to try and keep them healthy, but only after negotiations with Alan Alda break down. They will then realize that Mr. Klugman is no longer among the living. Dr. Quinn, stay by your phone.
• Sean Rodriguez will be the American League Rookie of the Year.
• Travis Snider will have a breakout year.
  
• The A's, Pirates, Astros, Nationals and Royals will all have losing records.
• The Orioles will win 80 games and finsh 4th in the AL East.
• The Reds and Dodgers won't make the playoffs.
• Milton Bradley will be ejected from 2 games this year.
• Bobby Cox will be ejected from 4.
  
• No more than 3 pitchers will win 20 or more games.
• No fewer than 7 eating establishments in the greater D.C. area will have a Strasburger. And they will all feature extra cheese!

And now for some of your more "traditional" predictions:
AL East- Red Sox, Yankees, Rays, Orioles, Blue Jays
Al Central- White Sox, Twins, Tigers, Indians, Royals
Al West- Angels,Ranger, Mariners, Athletics

NL East- Phillies, Braves, Marlins, Mets, Nationals
NL Central- Cardinals, Cubs, Brewers, Reds, Astros, Pirates
NL West- Rockies, Giants, Dodgers, Diamonbacks, Padres

Wildcards- Yankees and Braves

ALCS- Red Sox over Yankees
NLCS- Phillies over Rockies

World Series- Red Sox over Phillies

AL MVP- Alex Rodriguez
NL MVP- Ryan Braun

AL Cy Young- Jake Peavy
NL Cy Young- Josh Johnson

AL ROY- Sean Rodriguez
NL ROY- Jason Heyward (how could ya not?)

OPENING NIGHT THOUGHTS

• Neil Diamond performing "Sweet Caroline" live in the middle of the 8th inning with a sweet "Keep the Dodgers in Brooklyn" jacket was as good as it gets!
• Pretty nice having Pedro throw out the first pitch. I did not hear any "Who's Your Daddy?" chants.
  
• Nice ovation for Mike Lowell.
• The game itself was pretty exciting.
  
• I predicted the Red Sox would win 8-6. Pretty close.
• Yankees bullpen had a pretty shaky start. I'm just saying, Joe Girardi, Chan Ho Park may not be your best bet in any sort of clutch situation?
• Why would ESPN blackout the game in Boston and New York? It was the only game on! Sunday Night Baseball is never blacked out. NEVER! Imagine my dismay when I went to watch the game this morning to see if I could spot myself in the crowd, only to find I had 3 hours of ESPN News on the DVR. Blast!
  
• I did find $5 on the sidewalk on the way home. Jack....pot!
  
• And of course this:

Go baseball, enjoy the season!!

BEST WISHES!

Happy Boxing Day from "Bitterness" and Soda Popinski!

PLAXICO BURRESS: BEST WING MAN EVER

Now normally, I am not one to stick up for Plaxico Burress, mostly because I have hated him since birth. His, not mine. I feel like he is undeservedly getting a bad wrap these days. I mean, I just hate him because he's a cocky, overrated, annoying wide reciever who plays for the Giants, but not for all this latest ballyhoo. Okay, so he brought an illegal firearm into a club and accidentally shot himself in the leg. But I think everyone is missing the big picture here. Now, before I proceed, let me just, for legal purposes, say that we here at "Bitterness" do not, in any way, shape or form endorse breaking the law or carrying guns. Now, is Plax dumb? Yes. Is he a cock blocker? No.



You see it took some time for Plax to get to the hospital after he assaulted himself. What isn't being heavily reported is he was in the club for a good hour or so after inflicting himself. Why would he possibly do such a thing? Because he's a good wing man. His boy Antonio Pierce was with him, trying to get his, as the kids say, "swerve" on. You try and tell me if you are out with one of your "boys" painting the town red, and you shoot yourself and with an illegal firearm, you ain't gonna cry like a little schoolgirl and immediately ask your friend, who is probably about to "get things done" with some feisty femininas, to take your sorry ass to the hospital? Yeah, that's what I thought. No, Plax sucked it up and stayed there, risking all sorts of infections, who knows how many diseases, and possible risk of amputation, so his friend could get a "piece"! Avoiding the ultimate "cock block", Plax took one for a friend. He toughed it out so his "boy" Antonio could lay the groundwork. Plus when AP needs that little extra oomph in his "game", he be like, "Oh my god, my friend's been shot, I gotta get him help!" BOOM! Now the feisty femininas see Antonio's sensitive side. SHAZAM!

So, next time you all want to go and judge Plaxico, maybe you should take a deeper look, and ask yourselves, "Would any of my friends shoot themselves and still be help me get laid?" Something to think about.

NEXT?

Of course you know, we here at "Bitterness" like to be on the cutting edge. We like to be "now" if you would. So when we saw that ESPN Magazine released its "Next" issue, not to be confused with its next issue, which will be the issue after its "Next" issue, which is the current issue, publlished before the next issue and after the previous issue. Got that? Anyway, if you're anything like me, you take all your cues from ESPN and all its subsidiaries, to tell you what is hip and happening. So we here at "Bitterness" decided to have our own "Next" issue. Of course it's not so much an issue, as post. But you get the idea. And away we go!

JeMarcus Russell without a doubt the next Todd Marinovich.










Vince Young has to be the next Ryan Leaf.

Rodney Harrison will be the next NFLer to be arrested.

Al Davis the next to be committed.










Brady Quinn with seasoning, the next Jon Kitna.

Brad Johnson the next to retire.

Terrell Suggs the next Joey Porter.










Joey Porter the next Sportsman of the Year.

Santonio Holmes quietly becoming the next Plaxico Burress.

Dwayne Bowe, quite possibly the next Michael Jackson.










No, not that one, the one who played for the Browns.

Chris Johnson could very well be the next Cleveland Gary.












Kevin Boss, undisputedly the next Marv Cook.

Robert Gallery assuredly the next Brian Bosworth. I know one played defense and the other offense, but I stand by my statement.

Jon Beason hopefully not the next John Offerdahl.










Matt Leinart the next Draft "gem" to fade into obscurity.

Joe Flacco the next Chunky Soup endorser.










Tyler Thigpen the next quarterback to lose his job.


Matt Ware the next....









leader of the free world?

THE RANT: DEJA-VU ALL OVER AGAIN?

I have not been to cnnsi.com, espn.com, deadspin or any other sports website today. I have not watched ESPN, Fox Sports, NESN, Oxygen or any other wonderful cable network this morning. I have not read the Boston Globe, Boston Herald, The New York Times, the St.Petersburg times or the Herald-Journal. To sum up, I am basically saying I have not had any contact with the outside world in regards to the ALCS. And do you know why? No its not cause I'm a Red Sox fan, which I am, but rather because I already know everything that'll be written about the current ALCS.

You see many of the articles will highlight the fact the Red Sox have been in this situation before. Twice before actually. In both 2004 and 2007, two years in which the Sawx won the World Series, they had to surmount, what many believed to be insurmountable odds, to get there. The similarities are striking. In last year's ALCS, the Sawx took Game 1, then lost an extra inning Game 2 when they had to throw the back of the bullpen. Sound familiar? After losing the next 2 games they rattled off 3 straight wins against the Indians and advanced to the World Series. And of course I'm sure most of you remember the '04 ALCS against the Yankees, right? After getting embarrassed 19-8, at home, to go down 3-0 in the best-of-seven series, the Sawx won four straight to advance to the World Series. And here we are again.

The Sawx, once again, find themselves down 3-1. This time to the young, fiesty, upstart, handsome Rays of Tampa. Their backs, once again, up against the proverbial wall. But how similar are the situations, really? Let's take a look:

• We all know the Sawx were favored in both '04 and '07. Not in '08. They have been chasing the Rays pretty much all of the second half.
• In '04 and '07 Big Papi was Mr. Clutch, Mr.October, Mr. Sparkle! But not the case in '08, hitless thus far in the LCS, as Red Sox Nation eagerly awaits for the real Big Papi to please stand up.
• In '04 and '07 the Sawx were well oiled machines, firing on all cylinders. This time around, according to Jason Bay, "We're just not firing on all cylinders right now."
  
• The '04 and '07 Sawx were healthy (with, of course, the exception of Curt Schilling). This year Papi is nursing a wrist, Mike Lowell is not even on the active roster, JD Drew has been hobbled, and Josh Beckett, who has been a dominant postseason pitcher in the past, is nursing an oblique. That's a Frank Thomas! Big Hurt? No one?
  
• In '04 the the Yankees were flat, and did not gel as a team. The Rays don't have that problem. They are a cohesive unit of excitement!
• The '07 Indians just fell apart, blamed partly on inexperience, and being young'uns. Now the Rays are for the most part young and inexperienced. But unlike the Indians, the Rays have now faced the Sawx 22 times in '08. Meaning they know the Sawx, and know them well. Unlike the Indians of '07, the Rays won, maybe the toughest division (only one team did not finish over .500) in baseball. In other words, the Rays have gained experience against the best.

The bottom line here is this, even though the Red Sox have managed to comeback, against the odds, in the past to get to the World Series, it does not mean it will hold true again. Its a different team and just because it happened before doesn't mean it'll happen again. The Red Sox went 86 years between championships. It was a given that they would collapse in the end, because that had been their way ever since they sent some lady, Baby Ruth I think was her name, to the hated Yankees. But lo' and behold, they came back against the Yankees. They had in essence exorcised their demons, but this years Rays have ditched the devil.

All those historical numbers, stats and other ballyhoo is relevant, but only to a point. Let's cliche it out:

• To the Rays: those who don't learn history are doomed to repeat it.
• To Red Sox Nation: Sooner or later every good thing, comes to an end.
• The Sawx are down but not out.
• The Rays are just gonna play their game, and try and knock the Sawx off.
  
• The Sawx will just have to take it one game at a time.
• The Rays are not gonna take anything for granted.
• Both teams respect the other and know what they are capable of.
• Both teams are just gonna try and stay loose.
• Every cloud has a silver lining.
• The Rays want to prove they're for real.
• The Red Sox want to make history again
  
• That's the way the cookie crumbles.
• Every dog has its day.
• You can't script October!

There! Now I have saved you reading every single article about the ALCS. Now you have more time to get your Seven Mary Three cover band!