ALUM-INATING VI

Okay, so by the time you read this, half these teams will no longer be dancing, but alas, they are still apart of the Sweet 16, and we must press on.

MIDWEST
DAVIDSON
Woodrow Wilson is one notable DU alum, as is Burger King CEO John Chidsey. Now I guess Chidsey could be a "whopper"of an alum, but we found one we liked more. The one and only Mary Verner. We know, not exactly a household name, but she is the mayor of Spokane, Washington, which is home to Gonzaga University, which Davidson beat in their first round game. Weird, right? No? Well that's about as interesting as the famous Wildcats get for now, deal with it!

WISCONSIN
There are certainly plenty of famous Badgers out there, to catch the eye, Like Charles Lindbergh and Apollo 13 astronaut Jim Lovell. The late Chris Farley is also Wisconsin alum, but they are not the best one available. You see the Madison campus was also home to one of the greatest double (triple if you count killer looks) threats of all-time. Yes, we are talking about singer/actor, Mr. Tom Wopat. Now for those unaware of Mr. Wopat's credentials, you may know him better as Luke Duke of the Dukes of Hazzard. Yeah, doesn't get much better than that folks! Yeeeeeeeee-haaaaaawwww!

VILLANOVA
Nova is another squad that has already been in our "Alum-inating" segment, causing us to dig for some fresh faces. Sure there is Stanford President, John L. Hennessy, and astronomer Edward Guinn, who discovered Neptune's ring system (who discovered the moons around Uranus, is not mentioned), thank god, are both smart 'Nova people, but we thought we could do better. And having already used Jim Croce in a previous year, we had to really look. And all we could find was 1994 Playboy Playmate and 2004 Penthouse Pet of the Year, Victoria Zdrok. Oh well.

KANSAS
Kansas has made somethings hard on us, being a constant Sweet 16 fixture, but luckily there are famous Jayhawks abound. Now last year Paul Rudd was our go to Jayhawk alum, but we couldn't use him two years in a row, now can we? That was a rhetorical question, people. So this year we are gonna let the public know that Don Johnson was also a Jayhawk. I'm sure the co-star of Miami Vice, is having Philip Michael Thomas over to watch the games this weekend, and perhaps get a little crazy and don some neon tees, and fine cut white sport coats. PMT's Oakwood College did not make the tourney.

STANFORD
Ah, Stanford the Harvard of the west. This was not an easy one, by any means. Especially when you consider that it was home to Vint Cerf, aka "The Father of the Internet". While that is impressive,considering you would not be reading this, if not for his innovative mind, unfortunately Vinty, was a professor and not an alum. But have no fear, thanks in part to VC's help,we used this "internet" to find out that both Fred and Ben Savage (Ben's TV mom on Boy Meets World attended Kansas) attended Stanford, and that's none to shabby for the Cardinal. But wait! That's right we have one that tops even a pair of Savages. Don't believe me? Um, hows about a little someone I like to call Danny Pintauro? That's right, John-a-tin Bower from Who's the Boss! That's a bullseye right there.

TEXAS
There are more than a few notable Horns out in the world, including Matthew McConaughey and Janis Joplin. But it also taught William R. Johnson the president, CEO and chairman of HJ Heinz. You can thank him for delivering us 57 varieties of awesome to the world each and every darn day! I'm sure he is relishing the 'Horns current run, and hopes they can cut the mustard and won't be playing too much "ketch-up".

MEMPHIS
Our loyal readers already know that designing woman, Dixie Carter is a Memphis alum. Of course she was also the wife of Mr. Drummond on Diff'rent Strokes. But, like I said, we've been there, done that. So this time around, we're gonna look at actor and former Senator Fred Thompson. You could know Fred from such cinematic classics as Die Hard 2, Days of Thunder, or Baby's Day Out. Yes Fred is a true acting genius and is probably ecstatic as hell that the Tigers are closing in on the FinalFour.

MICHIGAN STATE
And finally, the Spartans. Yes they have given us some good people like, Sam Raimi and Tom Sizemore, but we found someone even better! You guessed it, James Caan. I don't think we all know the resume here folks. He's no Robert Loggia, that's for damn sure, but he'll due. I'm sure James is hoping the Spartans "caan" win it all.

And that wraps up yet another year of "Alum-ination", hope you've enjoyed, and here's to a bunch of different teams next year! And for those who missed 'em,or just wanna read 'em again, here are your "Alum-inating" archives:

Alum-inating
Alum-inating II
Alum-nating III
Alum-inating IV

ALUM-INATING V

As has become a tradition here at "Bitterness", we will now look at some of the famous alums who may be celebrating their alma mater's run to the Sweet Sixteen. Let's kick it off with the West Region:

XAVIER:
There have been several Musketeers who have run for office, and some, like House of Representatives minority leader John Boehner, have even won those offices. But we here at "Bitterness" have never been big politicos and so of course our favorite former Musketeer would have to be Robert Romanus. Now for those of you who are not super cinema geeks, we will clarify. Robert is none other than the sleazy Mike Damone, from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He also parlayed that role into a sweet part in Styx's rock opera music video for Kilroy was Here. Now while Romanus may be our top alum, we would be remiss to mention the next man on our list, Vice Chairman of Hershey Foods, Joseph Viviano. Oddly enough it's Mars, not Hershey, that produces the Three Musketeers bar. We're sure, however, that Viviano will be hoping that Xavier will "Rolo" over their opponents, perhaps putting up a "Whopper"of a "Skor".

WEST VIRGINIA
Now it's not the first time the Mountaineers have made the Sweet 16 since we began "Alum-inating", so our loyal readers already know that Mr. Furley, aka Don Knotts, is an alum, but let's dig even deeper. More than MIT President Charles M. "Sweater" Vest, The Assassin, Darryl Talley, or former National Champion Syracuse University football coach Floyd B."Ben" Schwartzwelder. No, no, we went even deeper, and came up with Michael James Zinn of Hallmark greetings cards. Yes,"MJ", as he's rarely called, helps people all over the world find cards for all occasions, whether for Grief, Sympathy, or Pet's Birthday, they have it all. And those Shoebox Greetings? Forget about it! The ultimate in humorous cards.

WESTERN KENTUCKY
Well there are a few notable Hilltoppers that caught our eyes, including Duncan Hines. Yes, THE, Duncan Hines. Notable writer and namesake for the Betty Crocker's arch nemesis bakery company, Duncan Hines. While WKU was also home to the Nappy Roots, that is not our top alum. Oh no, we have something much, much better. You see, the most celebrated alum would have to be the incomparable, David Schramm. You may know Mr. Schramm better, as Roy Biggins, owner and operator of Aeromass Airlines on the wildly popular NBC sitcom, Wings. There are not a lot of shows that we would even put in the same class as Wings, and naturally that makes Schramm our top Hilltopper alumnist.

UCLA
The Bruins are in the Sweet 16 for the third straight season, but luckily UCLA has produced many a famous alum, including Freaks and Geeks alum, James Franco and O.J. Simpson prosecutor Marcia Clark and defender Johnnie Cochran. O.J. of course attended rival USC. Interesting, no? But this year's most notable alum, is none other than the late Peter Tomarken, the host of the game show, Press Your Luck. Yes, Peter will be looking down upon his Bruins, hoping that they will see no whammies en route to a National Championship.

EAST REGION
WASHINGTON STATE
While the list of notable Cougars (nope, no attractive middle aged women on this list, sorry) does include Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft and owner of the Seattle Seahawks and Portland Trailblazers, he is not our go to alum here. You see, Washington State was also, at one time, home to one of the most brilliant minds of all time. That's right, Far Side cartoonist Gary Larson. Larson has been keeping us tickled with his delightful cartoons for over two decade, and for that we say thank you.

NORTH CAROLINA
The tar heels are another squad that is a frequenter of the "Alum-inating" series, so we need to keep delving deeper and deeper into the notable alumni. So this year we are gonna focus on some political alumni. Chapel Hill after all was was once home to former U.S. President James K. Polk, who of course was the namesake for Al Bundy's alma mater, Polk High on the television show, Married with Children. But that's not all! It also housed former Democratic Presidential candidate and Senator, John Edwards.

LOUISVILLE
Some famous Cardinals include Donald Elbert, who led the team of engineers that gave us AstroTurf. So for all those sufferers of Turf toe, here's who to blame. U of L also produced the co-founder of Long John Silvers, James Patterson. Yes, Patterson has helped folks nationwide satisfy their cravings for fast food fish and seafood, and that's a gift that keeps on giving all year round.

TENNESSEE
We'll get right to the "roots" of UT alumni, by letting you know that Alex Haley was a Volunteer. But Haley's not the only notable Volunteer author, oh no. Kurt Vonnegut also spent some time attending school in Knoxville. As did Desperate Housewives' James Denton. But, another interesting alum is Jeff Baxter. Who? Jeff Baxter. He is a Nike designer. One of the men responsible for some of the most ridiculous looking, overpriced "kicks" around. But hey, he is doing more for children than you. In our country we still don't give children the right to work at all, so there.