WEEK FOUR: OH KITNA, YOU DEVIL

JETS @ BILLS: Is it just me or are the Bills dropping like flies? I mean it's like ridiculous day down at the deli, where prices were so low they were ridiculous. This week will be Trent Edwards' coming out party. No, he's not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, I just think he'll show the Jets what for. Plus, he has the perfect name to run for office after a brilliant NFL career, am I right. Vote Trent Edwards for comptroller. It just rolls off the tongue, don't it? Of course by me picking the Billsies I have more or less doomed them to be 0-4. Bills 21-17.

RAIDERS @ DOLPHINS: Er, Duante Culpepper's triumphant to return to Miami? It's not too often you get such a blockbuster matchup this early in the season. How will the Miami fans treat Duante upon his return? Or really, how many Dolphins fans don't know Dan Marino retired? Raiders 27-17.

RAVENS @ BROWNS: Ah yes, the Cleveland Bowl. Now this will be the true test for Derek Anderson. Is he for real? No one really knows? But I suspect he's not. Jamal Lewis will be the one to watch here. He'll either make the Ravens pay for cutting him loose, or the Browns pay for signing him. My money's on the latter or the former? Um, well I'd put money down that the Browns won't break 50 points in this division game. If they do, I need the odds on them making the playoffs and a plane ticket to Vegas. Ravens 13-12.

TEXANS @ FALCONS: I'm not all too sure why the Texans are favored buy less than three points in this one. Although they say you get three points just for playing at home, so I guess the Texans are favored by a just under six points. But doesn't that still seem low? Has anyone been watching Falcons games? Texans games? Sorry Falcons fans but Jesse Tuggle's not walking through that door. Texans 27-20.

BEARS @ LIONS: Okay so the Kitnas experienced a minor set back last week, but they will steady the course against a Bears team that has most likely underestimated Kitna's power and rugged good looks. Lions 21-20

PACKERS @ VIKINGS: I'm gonna go on out and make a bold prediction right here in Week 4: The Vikings will not win the NFC North. There I said it, what?! Packers 28-10.

RAMS @ COWBOYS: Seems not too long ago the Rams were an offensive juggernaut. Now they're an offensive disaster. Not too mention Stephen Jackson has been fairly unproductive. Sure last week he topped 100 yards, nearly tripling his production from the first two weeks, but he isn't getting in the end zone, and that 's what my fantasy team needs! C'mon! Oh yeah, um, Cowboys good, Rams not. Cowboys 31-21.

BUCCANEERS @ PANTHERS: Ah one of the biggest rivalry in sports is about to get renewed in Carolina in week four. I can't remember a bigger matchup between these two bloodthirsty rivals since that epic 1968 skirmish down in Tampa. But this is the year this heated rivalry returns to prominence. Army-Navy. Red Sox-Yankees. Duke-North Carolina. Phhht! They all take a back seat to the Bucs-Panthers. Panthers run right at Tampa's front seven and take this one 24-20.

SEAHAWKS @ 49ERS: I picked the Niners as a sleeper team this year, and since the 'Hawks and Rams appear to already be in a slumber, or stupor, I dunno, it seems very possible that the Niners can win the NFC West. This will be the big step here, knocking off the Seahawks. Niners 21-17.

STEELERS @ CARDINALS: And now it's time for storytime: Last week I attended a restaurant, well not so much a restaurant, as a bar, to watch several football games at once. It's glorious, believe me. Anyways, I say that to say this. For some reason, although I live in Central New York or the CNY, I am surrounded by a bevy of Steelers fans. Yes that may seem weird, it is to me, but that's not even the crux of the story folks. So there were maybe 10-15 Steelers fans huddled around a large TV where the epic Steelers-Niners game was being aired. Now so far, nothing wrong, I could still enjoy my featured game with my buddy. But here's the thing, these Steelers fans were outright obnoxious. They would hoot and holler for every little thing. A three yard gain by the Niners and they'd erupt. First downs, batted passes, a wink from Mike Tomlin that maybe they thought was directed right at them, it didn't matter they'd erupt. I mean, if you were just listening you'd of thought the Steelers were up 72-3. But alas, no they were not. Now, I realize that there are fans out there from every team, somewhere that act this same way, okay maybe not the Jaguars, but on this day it was Steelers fans, so they get the rant. Now, I also know that this does not encompass every single Steelers fan on the face of God's green earth, but I would wager it accounts for 72-85% of them if I had to guess. But here's the best part of the story. The biggest annoyance was a loud chant after Steelers scores of "Here we go Steelers! Here we go! Here we go Steelers! Here we go!" Now the Niners drive down in what felt like the fourth quarter and scored what ended up being their final score of the day. So amidst the brief silence of Steelers fans, I ya know graciously and loudly start chanting, "HERE WE GO NINERS! HERE WE GO!" I'm sorry I'm a COCKSWAIN! Much to my surprise, despite a few dirty looks, the Steelers fans didn't seem all that agitated. More stunned really, than anything. But the laughter from every other person in there annoyed by their shenanigans, made my day. So needless to say, this week I'm headed out there with my Eric Swann jersey. Cardinals 23-17.

CHIEFS @ CHARGERS: Sometimes you should put personal, and personnel, differences behind you for the greater good, wouldn't you say A.J.? Last year under Marty Schottenheimer the Chargers lost 2, count 'em, two regular season games. Norv Turner comes in and says, "That's nothing, it won't even take me four weeks to lose two games." FYI the LT, aka Hooch, is ready to get about 300 yards of total offense by himself, while LJ continues to disappoint his fantasy owners. Good thing I took Stephen Jackson instead. Oh wait. Chargers 45-17.

BRONCOS @ COLTS: The Broncos may be one of the most overrated teams of the decade. What?! I said "may". But c'mon they continually garner preseason hype and nothing happens, except they win like 8-10 games and lose in the playoffs because they didn't try in Week 17, and their players were all out of sync. Well I really don't seem them beating the Colts, but will probably cover the spread, if that's any consolation to Broncos fans? Colts 28-21.

EAGLES @ GIANTS: I don't even know what to say. I flipped a coin and it landed Eagle side up (yes it was an older quarter.) so Eagles win 21-17.

PATRIOTS @ BENGALS: Let's just say if the Browns can put up fifty plus points on the Bengals "D", Monday Night could get ugly fast. My prediction Matt Cassel will start the second half. Patriots 38-14.

And now you're cheese:

WEEK 3: THE KITNA SUPREMACY

Not much small talk this week. I have no idea how my picks went last week, well some idea I guess, will update my season totals after this week, and may even post the lastest AFC preview in history sometime soon, but for now, chew on this:

INDIANAPOLIS (2-0) @ HOUSTON (2-0): That's right folks, it is not a joke, the Texans are 2-0. Yes the Houston Texans. And should be able to somehow pull off the upset of Indy on Sunday, you will actually get to here the phrase, "The first place Texans." Sounds weird, right? Well I wouldn't worry too much, the Colts are still far superior and will be able to "Stump the Schaub" on Sunday, especially with Andre Johnson sidelined. Colts 21-10.

SAN DIEGO (1-1) @ GREEN BAY (2-0): Remember when the Chargers were an offensive powder keg? Okay, okay, the Bears and Patriots aren't exactly lowly defensive squads, but still, c'mon. Well, it shouldn't get much easier Sunday in Lambeau against a very solid Packer defense. But here's the thing, the Packer "O" is a bit more in the direction of Chigago's than it is New England's. Plus they probably won't know what defenses are coming, so advantage "Whale's Vagina." Chargers 17-13.

MINNESOTA (1-1) @ KANSAS CITY (0-2): How bad are the Chiefs? Seriously, I'm asking. Cause they seem pretty bad thus far. I'm not saying the Vikings are good, but they're looking better than the Chiefs. Get ready for a barn burner in "The Show Me State." Vikes 9-3.

DETROIT (2-0) @ PHILADELPHIA (0-2): I know, it seems like those records should be reversed, right? Well, with God on his side, how does anyone bet against Kitna? I don't know how or why, but Kitna will prevail and for an encore will turn Gatorade Arctic Blast into wine. And Kitna smote the Eagles, 24-21.

BUFFALO (0-2) @ NEW ENGLAND (2-0): Man the Bills have tough few opening weeks. Denver, at Pittsburgh, at New England, then host the Jets, Cowboys and Ravens, then they are at the Jets and host the Bengals, at the '85 Bears and then host the '72 Dolphins. Man that's a rough schedule, where's Pete Metzalaars when you need him? Patriots 38-14 (cause it seems like that'll be the score of every Patriots win?)

MIAMI (0-2) @ NEW YORK JETS (0-2): Well, barring a tie, one of these teams will be 0-3. But who, oh who, will it be? I'll give you a hint: It rhymes with 'My Hammy'. Jets 28-10.

SAN FRANCISCO (2-0) @ PITTSBURGH (2-0): Seems like this would be a good matchup, but the 49ers haven't been able to score points on the Cardinals or Rams defenses, I don't really see how they'll be able to put up point son the vaunted Steelers defense? Steelers 10-6.

ARIZONA (1-1) @ BALTIMORE (1-1): SEND IN THE BIRDS! (Joke that very few of our readers will get, but Bill's probably laughing.) For some reason, it seems just a bit too easy to take the Ravens in this one. I mean, do the Cardinals really have a shot in this one? I wish I thought they did, but alas, me thinks the Ravens will win. They keep their heads on a swivel and that's what you need in an angry bird fight! Ravens 27-20.

ST. LOUIS (0-2) @ TAMPA BAY (1-1): This is the week the Rams break out my friends! Yes, you heard it hear first, the Rams will dominate. Stephen Jackson will run amuck, while Mr. Bulger "makes it rain" in Tampa. Rams 45-24.

JACKSONVILLE (1-1) @ DENVER (2-0): Ah yes a rematch of the epic 1997 Divisional Playoff game where the Jags, lead by a feisty Mark Brunell and a husky Natrone Means, upset the Broncos in Denver. Could a similar upset be in the making come Sunday? Probably not. Broncos 24-23.

CINCINNATI (1-1) @ SEATTLE (1-1): Both teams are coming off embarrassment in Week 2, so both will be looking to "right the ship" as it were. If both teams play up to their preseason hype, this could turn into a good 'ol fashioned shootout. Both teams have looked rather ordinary thus far and something has got to give. Don't expect a defensive battle in this one, Bengals 31-27.

CLEVELAND (1-1) @ OAKLAND (0-2): Meaningless stat of the week: Last week the Browns scored more points than the Raiders have scored in 2 weeks combined! Made up stat of the week: 27% of Browns fans think Derek Anderson could be the next Bernie Kosar, 33% think he's the next Vinny Testaverde, and 42% think he's the next Tim Couch. You do the math. Browns 31-23.

CAROLINA (1-1) @ ATLANTA (0-2): Well the good news for Bobby Petrino is, that when the whole Vick debacle went down it lowered the expectations for the coach and his team. I think a "Thank You" cake with a file in it is in order, am I right? You know, cause Vick is in jail and in the olden time movies they'd send food with a file in it to prisoners, so they could file their way out? No? But who's more now: Joey Harrington or Jake Delhomme? Haha, and we're back! Panthers 28-13.

NY GIANTS (0-2) @ WASHINGTON (2-0): I don't know what could possibly make me pick the Giants in this one? There is not one single thing, I am telling you the God's honest truth! That's right the 'Skins will somehow be 3-0. Redskins 13-7.

DALLAS (2-0) @ CHIGAGO (1-1): Oh thank God the Cowboys are on in primetime. It's been a whole two weeks since their last Sunday nighter. good golly, that's bad scheduling. In the first 5 weeks the Cowboys, Giants, Bears, Patriots, Eagles and Bengals will be on in primetime twice already! Okay we get it, you want good games to draw an audience, but let me hit you with some knowledge TV, football fans will sit in front of you and watch the game on Sunday and Monday nights, because it's there. I, for one, barely even know what's going on in the games, to tell you the truth. Mix up a little is all I'm asking. Okay, well that should get the job done. Oh yeah, the game, um Cowboys 17-9.

TENNESSEE (1-1) @ NEW ORLEANS (0-2): Now, this is a Monday night game! No really, that's when they're playing it. The Titans have looked good, the Saints have not. This one is easy though, cause we'll just use the good ol' transitive property. The Colts beat the Saints 41-10. The Colts beat the Titans 22-20. So therefore the Titans should win by a score of 24-13. But I am going to toss the transitive property asunder and pick the Saints to win 21-20. HA! Take that transitive property!

Oh and since we're bit light in the cheesy pictures department, enjoy this:

WE'VE BEEN DOWNGRADED!

That's right folks, we've been downgraded! You may be asking yourself, what in the name of all that is holy are we talking about? Well, we thought we were the #1 Jon Kitna fan in all the land, until we found this:




Yes, we humbly bow down before the #1 Kitna fan, possibly in the world. This is one of the smartest men alive people! Plus, now we know who outbid us. We've been scouring eBay ever since for such a find, but have found only dozens of some of your real no name players like Terrell Owens, Donovan McNabb and Ladanian Tomlinson. For now our search continues, as we settle for the fact that right now, we couldn't be any higher than the #2 Kitna fan in all the land. All hail Kitna!

WEEK 2: ANNIE GET YOUR GUNSLINGER

Well, week one has come and gone and I looked fairly competent, going 10-6. Is that right? Doesn't sound right, does it? Ah well. Week two is bound to show me for the simp I really am. Anyways I have to type quick as I think the Sports Guy has bugged by apartment in order to get a sneak peak at my picks, so away we go...........


BUFFALO @ PITTSBURGH: The Bills is feisty my friends and yes that bad English was intentional. Sorry mom. I think they will go into the Burgh and snatch a win they will most certainly, relish. Buffalo 5-3

CINCINNATI @ CLEVELAND: So first the Brownies are all hush-hush about which mediocre QB they'd use in Week One. Then the "chosen one" proceeds to quickly get benched for the "chosen #2" , while the "golden boy" draft pick, who has only practiced for a couple of weeks, watches from the sideline. Now, after the Week One, or in the Browns case "Weak One", drubbing, they proceed to trade away the aforementioned "chosen one", leaving the mediocre "chosen #2" and the "golden boy" draft pick to vie for the starting QB job. Is this Cleveland, or an episode of "Dallas"? Either way Cincy should roll. Bengals 24-10

INDIANAPOLIS @ TENNESSEE: Still not overly impressed with the Titans, a win over Indy could change that. Unfortunately I don't see it. Colts 21-10

HOUSTON @ CAROLINA: A pretty intriguing match-up of two undefeated squads. Sure it's only 1-0, but there's 16 teams who can't be in that rare air. Now, it's hard to say if it was a matter of these two being good in week one or their opponents just stinking up the joint? Who knows? Guess we'll find out in Week 2, right? I say Steve Smith will give the Texans problems all afternoon. Panthers 26-17.

SAN FRANCISCO @ ST. LOUIS: San Fran did manage a win in week one, albeit against the "Kingdom of the Mighty Cardinal", but looked a bit sloppy doing it, or so I'm told, it was on waaaaay past my bed time. I think Stephen Jackson is gonna be looking to put week one behind him and find some redemption, which won't be easy. The 49ers can play "D", especially that Patrick "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout" Willis. It is so tempting to take the Niners, but the coin flip says I'm going Rammers at home, 24-20

GREEN BAY @ NEW YORK GIANTS: The gunslingest gunslinger that has ever gunslinged, or gunslung, will be in the Meadowlands on Sunday facing a Giants secondary that, well, let's just say, they are not good. Throw in a lack of Brandon Jacobs and an iffy Eli (we of course mean more iffy than usual, cause of his shoulder) and you got yourselves a stew, baby! Eli's status could make a huge difference, but I stIll think the G-Men are in trouble. Packers 35-27

ATLANTA @ JACKSONVILLE: Egads, the Falcons looked awful last week! How many times throughout this season will the Falcons regret not keeping Matt "Stump the" Schaub? I say 143, but that's just me. Jaguars get the running game back on track and beat up the dirty birds 21-6

NEW ORLEANS @ TAMPA BAY: The Saints will have had a long time to think about their Week One pummeling come kickoff time Sunday. That's not good news for the Buccaneers. Saints 34-10

MINNESOTA @ DETROIT: Alright Kitna, one win down, nine to go, my friend. Here's comes number two. Okay that sounds nasty. Here comes win number two, somehow? Lions 21-20

DALLAS @ MIAMI: I suppose it would be asking to much of God to have this stadium spontaneously combust during the game? Yes this is a matchup of my two least favorite franchises and two least favorite fandoms. Since they probably won't tie, I guess the Cowboys will beat up on the Dolphins, so take that Snowflake! By the way, the 'Skins in week one, 'Boys in week two, are the Dolphins in the NFC now? Wishful thinking I guess. Um, Cowboys 20-3.

SEATTLE @ ARIZONA: Now, I would like to say the Seahawks will roll in this one, but their performance against the Bucs last week was borderline pathetic. This has upset written all over it! So, naturally, I'm taking the favorite, dah! Seahawks 49-35

NEW YORK JETS @ BALTIMORE: That Brian Billick sure is an offensive, dare I say, genius. 20, count 'em 20 points against the Bengals. Oh man! Are you detecting the sarcasm, cause I'm laying it on pretty thick. Here's the thing the Ravens are favored by ten points. TEN! Me still thinks the Jets are a bit better than they showed on Sunday, and they'll either be facing a hobbled Steve McNair or a healthy Kyle Boller, which may or may not be, half a dozen of one and half a dozen of the other. I am so confident that the Jets will cover that if they don't I will dedicate a whole blog to the wonder that is the Ravens. Okay, well let's not get crazy here. How about I just give them some credit next week and apologize for doubting their superiority? Ravens 7-6

OAKLAND @ DENVER: There's not really any statistical or factual data that will support the Raiders beating, well, really, most teams, so I'm afraid it's 0-2 for the silver and black. Broncos 24-13.

KANSAS CITY @ CHICAGO: I really couldn't tell you what the heck is even going on in Kansas City folks. And to think, people in KC had to endure another long summer with the Royals and this is the thanks they get? Bears 28-14

SAN DIEGO @ NEW ENGLAND: Little known fact about the penalties thrown at Bill Belichik: included in the fine print is a stipulation that will allow him to only use a Betamax machine for the next three weeks. True story! Or is it? You decide. Anyways, if the Patriots actually just managed to tape the Chargers-Bears game, they could try and see what the Bears did to more or less contain LT, aka Hooch. I's a toughy, but I'm taking the Pats, but barely. 21-20

WASHINGTON @ PHILADELPHIA: The first place Redskins head into the ever hostile Linc for a Monday nighter. Let's just say, it's probably the last time this season I'll have to type "first place Redskins." But isn't it just a bit peculiar that in week one, Philly lost 16-13 and Washington won 16-13? Hmmm? Hmmmm? Hmmmmm? BAH! Eagles 27-13

WEEK ONE: THE RISE OF KITNA

Yes, yes, yes! It is that time sports fans! The NFL season is upon us and once again we will be taking on the Sports Guy and Peter King making picks week after week. Okay, so we didn't fare all that well last year after a pretty good start, but we're ready to roll this year. You can believe that. We piled over charts and magazines and websites to get all the info and data needed to make educated picks. Okay, so we actually piled over plates of nachos, chicken wings and cheese, but more or less the same thing. So here we go.

Now let me just start by saying Week 1 may be the hardest week to predict, because all you've got is what everyone looks like on paper, and really almost anything can happen in the NFL. That being said here we go:



BRONCOS @ BILLS- Here's the thing, the Broncos seem to come out flat every year and play like horse doo-doo in the opener. And to tell you the truth I don't see any changes in the pattern this year, as JP Losman, Marshawn Lynch and Lee Evans will show the Broncos what for. I wonder how the crowd in Buffalo will "greet" Travis Henry? I'm guessing they won't be handing him a 'Welcome Back" fruit basket. Bills 28-24

STEELERS @ BROWNS- The Seelers are giving Ben Roethlisberger a little more freedom at the line of scrimmage. Whether this is good or bad, we do not know? What we do know is the Browns are feisty and will be right in this game, but Charlie Frye just won't have enough to pull this one out. The question is will there be "We want Brady chants?" emanating from the Dawg Pound? Steelers 24-14

PANTHERS @ RAMS- This was one of those tough call games. Most people think the Rammers will take this, as the Panthers will probably be less predictable than Andy Dick this season. Andy Dick? Really? Okay so that was weakish, but give me a break, it's Week One. For some reason I think the Cats win on the road and I will dig a pretty big hole for myself in this pick-off. Panthers 27-24

FALCONS @ VIKINGS- Egads! This is another tough one, folks. It's too, too, too easy to dismiss the Falcons just cause they're without Michael Vick. While that's a crushing blow sure, don't forget Joey Harrington is capable and Jerious Norwood is due to break out (at least I hope so, for my fantasy football team's sake, anyways). Plus I'm about as confident in Tavaris Jackson as I am in, um, something I have very little confidence in. Falcons 21-17

PATRIOTS @ JETS- As a Patriots fan it was gut wrenching to make this one of my upsets week, but I just have a hunch the Pats are headed for an 0-1 start. And let me just say, it's not cause they're without Harrison or Seymour, although that doesn't help. I just think it will happen, so there! Jets 31-27

DOLPHINS @ REDSKINS- About all the Dolphins have going for them is their defense, and a chance for the #1 Draft pick come spring. I'm not saying the 'Skins are good, cause they probably aren't, but on this day they're good enough. 'Skins 20-10

TITANS @ JAGUARS- Too many people are picking the Titans to "upset" the Jags this week. It's annoying. If it's that obvious to so many, then how come the Jags are almost a touchdown favorite.? Vince Young'll be shaky against a still very strong defense, while Maurice Jones-Drew gets 200 combined yards as the Jags get off on the right foot. Jaguars 17-13

CHIEFS @ TEXANS- Seems like the Chiefs have become the whipping boys of the media "pundits", while I'm still trying to figure out how they made the playoffs last year? Larry Johnson is still good, but those 700 carries he had last year are bound to take a toll at some point. Matt Schaub 18-25, 325 yards, 3TDs. Houston 28-27

EAGLES @ PACKERS- The Packers are one of my "sleeper-ish" teams this season, and I think they will show every one why in this game. The Eagles are still good, but they may just , like so many others this year, underestimate the Pack. While both defenses are pretty solid, we should still see some points oin this one. That's right, I am predicting it won't end in a 0-0 tie! Packers 24-20

LIONS @ RAIDERS- Kitna's MVP season starts here, when he torches a surprisingly good Raiders defense for 4TDs and 450 yards. Okay, so maybe that won't happen, but the Lions will win this, mark my words! All hail Kitna! Lions 28-21

BEARS @ CHARGERS- LT against Urlacher and the Bears defense? Lookout! This would be a better game if Rex "and Balances" Grossman was good enough to beat the Bolts' defense. Chargers 24-13

BUCCANEERS @ SEAHAWKS- Okay, Seattle has no excuses right now, with a pretty much healthy squad. I mean, they made the 'Offs while missing both Shaun Alexander and Timmy Hasselback's bro for a good chuck of games last season. Couple that with the fact that Tampa Bay seems to be, well, not good, and you get a good old-fashioned butt whooping. Seahawks 34-13

GIANTS @ DALLAS- Oh good more reason for Tiki to be focusing his words and ire on Tom Coughlin and the G-men. Well, suffice it to say, I don't think much of the Giants or Tom Coughlin, but with Tiki, Strahan, and Shockey, I somehow feel sympathetic to the coach. Not enough to pick 'em to win, that's just foolish. Big D plays some Big "D", down in Big D and the 'Boys cruise. Cowboys 31-14

RAVENS @ BENGALS- A good defense beats a good offense, right? We think so. In fact we think this so much so, that we've beched Carson "Heisman" Palmer on our fantasy squad for week one. Which of course means he'll probably light up the Ravens for like 7 touchdowns or something. But, no, we are gonna stick to our guns! Ravens 9-7

CARDINALS @ 49ERS- The 49ers are another sleeper pick of mine (sorry 'Zona), and, well, just about everyone else. Frank Gore should run wild in this one, this won't be as close as many think. I think, anyways. Niners 35-17

Alright there's your week one predictions and since our AFC Preview is not quite ready yet, we are gonna just tack on our predictions without the added verbage, here. But don't be alarmed, the wordy preview will be coming, hopefully sometime before Week 2. We hope anyways. But here's our predicted AFC standings:

AFC EAST
New England 13-3
New York 10-6
Buffalo 7-9
Miami 3-13

AFC NORTH
Baltimore 12-4
Cincinnati 8-8
Pittsburgh 8-8
Cleveland 5-11

AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis (duh?) 13-3
Tennessee 8-8
Jacksonville 7-9
Houston 5-11

AFC WEST
San Diego (bold, eh?) 14-2
Denver 10-6
Oakland 5-11
Kansas City 4-12

Enjoy the games!

GAME ONE: KITNA-LESS

Well we are just hours away from the 2007 NFL season kicking off, so that means it's about time for us to roll out our Week One picks. Now, unfortuantely we are not quite ready to unveil all the picks just yet, but we will give you a brief taste with our Colts-Saints prediction, with the "Week One Picks" to follow sometime thereafter. So be on the lookout and sorry for the delay, it's been a heavy blogging week.

SAINTS @ COLTS- This was almost the Super Bowl matchup last season, and both teams seem at least as good as last year, so we should be in for a dandy of an opener. Both teams are pretty balanced, with a very good offense. The big question is which defense shows up for the Colts? The one that was shredded by the run most of the season or the one that flat out shut down opponents' running games in the playoffs? Well, irregardless, I think we're in for a shootout, and as good as Drew Brees can be, it's Peyton Manning for pete sake! Colts 42-31

2007 NFC PREVIEW WITH CHEESE

NFC EAST:
PHILADELPHIA- We here at "Bitterness" think Philly is the team to beat in the East. But the big question is Donovan McNabb's health. Well McNabb and the Eagles' offense have looked fine and dandy in the preseason, so there should be no worries for now. Brian Westbrook is like the NFC's Ladanian Tomlinson, he does it all, and Reggie Brown and Kevin Curtis look ready to go. But, as the Iggles look for their 6th division titel in seven seasons, the defense has become a question mark. They've added Takeo Spikes, but they've lost Darwin Walker, Dhani Jones, Roderick Hood, Michael Lewis, and Jeremiah Trotter, so the defense may not be as good as past years. But as long as McNabb eats his Chucky soup and stays healthy, the Eagles will go far once again. Our Prediction: 11-5

DALLAS- Much like last year, all the pundits are talking up the 'Boys, but I am not completely sold on "Big D". I just feel Wade Phillips isn't the one who will guide them to the promised land. Playoffs? Sure. Super Bowl? I don't think so. Granted, the defense should be pretty solid, with the addition of Ken Hamlin and a 3-4 base. I don't see teams putting up a lot of points on them this season and well, defense wins championships. With a solid defense, Tony Romo needs to only be as good as Rex Grossman to propel this team to the playoffs. Well, that, and get #81 his rightful share of balls. Our prediction: 10-6

NEW YORK- Michael Strahan is finally back. If you think that makes the Giants any less iffy in '07, then you couldn't be more wrong. The Giants make the Bluth family look functional, for crying out loud! They have more quaetion marks than a Matthew Lesko suit! Let's see there are questions about the secondary, defensive line, receiving corps, quarterback, running game and trusting their head coach. Yep, just another season in gotham, er, Jersey. The Giants are nowhere near as strong as the past few seasons, and even with a new QB coach, we wouldn't go relying on Eli to guide them to the playoffs. Sure, they may tease people and the media a bit, by clinging to life, but if you want a definition of inconsistency, look no further than the '07 Giants, a .500 team wating to happen. Our prediction: 8-8

WASHINGTON- It seems that Dan Snyder is the anti-Midas, as everything he touches turns to fecal matter. He seems to spend, spend, spend, and still lose, lose, lose. But hey 'Skins fans, at least there's an untested QB starting this year to help the process. The defense in Washington should be good this year, but then again it should have been good for several years. If Clinton Portis actually plays the entire season and plays well, it will take some pressure off of Jason Campbell. Which is good, since we still don't know if he's the next Doug Williams or the next Heath Shuler? Or even some wacky hybrid of the two? Our Prediction: 5-11

NFC NORTH: CHIGAGO- The Bears defense should be just as good as last season, which is bad news for the rest of the NFC. It also helps that "Da Bears" play in what is considered to be the worst division in football. Obviously a lot of pressure falls on Rex Grossman. T-Rex was about as up an down as they come, but still managed to be playing on Super Bowl Sunday. With a defense this good, his only job is really, just to not screw up, which as Rex demonstrated, is sometimes not as easy as it sounds. Meanwhile in the backfield, Cedric Benson will be handling the full workload at running back, and his success could be as crucial as Grossman's. In fact they are intertwined in symbiotic fashion. If one of them ain't playing well, they probably both won't be playing well. Our prediction: PAIN! and 12-4

GREEN BAY- The Packers defense is pretty darned solid. Not as good as the Bears maybe, but pretty darned strong. The biggest problem the Packers will face is the running game, which features no running back that has more than 150 career carries. Vernand Morency has been hobbled by an injury, and rookie Brandon Jackson did not impress in the preseason. This has left the backfield a big mystery for the Pack, which is not good. If they can get the running game in gear, they could be a playoff contender. There, I said it. With a gunslinger like Brett Favre at the helm, the sky is the limit in Wisconsin. This Packers team is very underrated in our minds, and we feel they can put together a pretty solid season. Our prediction: 9-7

DETROIT- Kitna predicted a ten win season this year in Detroit. While we're sure Kitna and the Lions will be plenty exciting to watch, it's hard to see them winning 10 games. But stranger things have happened, and JK does do a lot of praying so who knows, maybe some divine intervention will take place here. Mike Martz is definitely looking to make this "The Greatest Show on Turf: Part Deux" and the pieces are slowly falling into place. In a surprise move, the Lions used their #1 pick to take a wide receiver (note the sarcasm). Everyone says Calvin Johnson is the real deal, unlike the past four first-round receivers the Lions have selected, I guess? The offensive line is the unit that will have the biggest impact for the Lions. Kitna was sacked 847 times last season! That's not true, it was 63 times, we used hyperbole for dramatic effect. But 63 is a lot too! Just give Kitna time and wait for the magic to happen! Our prediction: 7-9

MINNESOTA- Offensively last season, the Vikes were, well, not good. But Adrian Peterson looks to help with that. The Vikes #1 pick is ready to run wild in the NFL this year and we look for some big numbers from him. But the biggest question remains behind center, where Tavaris Jackson will be taking the snaps. We know very little about Tav, but, well, okay I guess there is no "but", we just know very little about him. What we do know is that he will have receivers to throw to, who may or may not be able to hold onto the ball. Let's just say it was probably not a bad idea to acquire Kelly Holcomb from the Eagles. Peterson should run wild in the dome, but unless Jackson is like the next Steve Young, it will be another long season in Minneapolis. Our prediction: 6-10

NFC SOUTH: NEW ORLEANS- What a ride the Saints had last year. Finding their way into the NFC Championship game, one step shy of the Super Bowl. Some media folks think the Saints can end up in Arizona this year representing the NFC on the big stage, and who are we to argue? They are one of the more balanced teams in the league, and let's face it the NFC is up for grabs. Sure the Cowboys and Eagles look good, and you obviously can't dismiss the Bears, but the Saints now have that playoff experience on their side. Plus with Reggie Bush, the Saints have one of the more dangerous players in the league. The Saints should show no signs of slowing down and should easily win the division and possibly the NFC. Our prediction: 10-6

CAROLINA- There have been high expectations for the Panthers the past few seasons, and the cats have just not been able to live up to the hype. We think this year will be different. Sure, the expectations are there, but with a healthy Steve Smith and a fairly easy schedule, the cats should be able to sneak on into the playoffs. The race for the final playoff spot in the NFC should be wide open and we feel the Panthers have what it takes to snag it. Expect even more touches for DeAngelo Williams, who should thrive with the new zone blocking scheme that is beng implemented. Look for the Panthers to return to the 'Offs this season. Our prediction: 9-7

ATLANTA- Go figure, without Michael Vick the NFC South should be less of a dogfight. To be honest we didn't see the Falcons making the playoffs even with Vick behind center. Sure he would have been good for 2-3 more wins but we still think they weren't playoff material. Nothing against Joey "Piano Man" Harrington, he could be a solid performer, but the fact remains the receiving corps is weak and there are just far too many droppers. It's like a bunch of Chandler Bings running routes out there! Sure they added Joe Horn, but he is not the game changer he once was. Success in Hotlanta will rely on Jeroius Norwood and Alge Crumpler, bottom line. But the good news is they should be able to procure a good draft pick in '08. Our prediction: 5-11

TAMPA BAY- The Bucs presumably strengthened their offense with the signing of Jeff Garcia (and almost every other available QB) in the offseason. Garcia's resurgence last year has given the Bay fans a glimmer of hope. But, alas, that glimmer fades quickly, when they realize that quarterback was not the only trouble spot for the '06 Buccaneers. The only legitimate receiver at the moment appears to be Joey Galloway, and the running game last year was a joke. The Bucs did sure-up the O-line in hopes that Carnell "Yugo" Williams will be able to break free a bit more this season, which wouldn't be hard. In 14 starts last season, "Yugo" didn't manage to even break 50 yards in 9 of them. Yes, nine! That's freakin' ridiculous! Our prediction: 2-14

NFC WEST: SEATTLE- The Seahawks managed to win thier division and make the playoffs last year despite a slew of key injuries, so what's to stop this healthy squad from doing the same this year? Um, nothing. Although the Seahawks will have to stay healthy as the rest of the division is slowly catching up to them. Shaun Alexander is healthy and confident. So much so, he's predicting he'll break LT's touchdown record and Dickerson's rushing record! Them's some pretty lofty goals, and while he probably won't get there, Alexander does have a lot to prove this year. Lots of people seem to think he's lost a step and his on the start of a downward slide, and Shaun will be out to prove the doubters wrong. Our prediction: 10-6

ST. LOUIS- The Rams are still as offensive as ever. No, they don't offend people, they put a lot of points on the board. Scott Linehan focused on the runing game last year and made Stephen Jackson a star. Jackson is possibly the best RB in the NFC and should have another huge season for the Rammers. And what with Marc Bulger slinging the ball around to a talented corps of receivers led by Tory "Big Game" Holt and "The Reverend" Isaac Bruce, the offense should have no trouble getting into the end zone. The addition of Drew Bennett didn't hurt either. But of course the big question lies with the defense, which remains the one thing that'll keep the Rams out of the playoffs. Although 1st Round pick Adam Carriker is a start in the right direction. Our prediction: 8-8

SAN FRANCISCO- The 49ers are the up and coming team now in the NFC. With the offensive corps of Alex Smith, Frank Gore and Vernon Davis and a defense that, unbeknownst to many, was extremely tough last year, the 49ers are on their way. Now, it's not Montana, Craig, Rice or anything, but the 49ers should scare more than a few teams this year. Their #1 pick Patrick Willis, should only make the defense better, which is probably why they drafted him. The tools and talent are there, and it may only be a year or two before the 49ers are back in the thick of things in the NFC. Look for the Niners to be in the playoff hunt most of the way, if their young guys can stay helathy. Our prediction 8-8

ARIZONA- New head coach, revamped offensive line, young QB, talented receivers. Sounds like a recipe for success to us. We thought last year would be the Cardinals year to make some noise in the NFC, and that didn't happen. Well, we're not gonna be so bold this year. Yes, the Cardinals did adress some major issues and yes, they should be fiesty and fun to watch, but we dont' see a big improvement record wise. You gotta love what's happening out in the desert (no ont Iraq) right now, though, as Ken Whisenehut is moving things in the right direction. Our prediction: 5-11

Well there's your '07 NFC Preview and now, as promised.....cheese!