Sunday, November 18, 2007

WEEK ELEVEN: HOW KITNA MET YOUR MOTHER

CHARGERS @ JAGUARS- The Jaguars will need to try and run all over that vaunted Chargers defense, Adrian Petersen style, if they want to be in this game, especially if David Garrard is not at QB. Hey nothing against QG personally, it's just they just can't win with the game in his hands against a hungry Chargers team. Chargers 28-17.

CHIEFS @ COLTS-Well Peyton Manning will get Dallas Clark back, but Marvin Harrison is still questionable. So that's leave Manning with three wide receivers to play with. That's not so good Al. Now granted they have lost there last two games, but not by much and to two fairly good squads. The Chiefs are like an omelet, with enigma ingredients and the egg being a riddle. Plus, you've got the beginning of the Brodie Croyle era in KC. The Colts will win, but covering the spread? I think not. Colts 21-17.

RAIDERS @ VIKINGS- No Adrian Petersen means no offense for the Vikes. It does mean more carries for Amp Lee though I think. The Raiders best offensive player is Shane "Hannibal" Lechler. Yes, their punter. He has put aside his feuds with several Raiders coaches and is kicking the bahjeezus out of the ball. Now I am no fan of JaMarcus Russell and his money grubbing ways, but if you're gonna pay him, why not play him? Are the silver and black afraid he'll mess up their 2-7 season? I'm going with the Raiders because Duante Culpepper will have something to prove, if he plays. Raiders 17-14.

BROWNS @ RAVENS- The Browns very well could have and should have beat the Steelers last week, but they didn't, so it's time to put it behind them and dominate the Ravens. Hey Ray-Lew what happened to that defense of yours? The Ravens have only held two, count 'em two, teams under 20 points this year, and one was the 49ers, who are barely averaging double digits a game. They do have one thing going for them this week, with Steve McNair sidelined. Yep, it's the Kyle Boller-drome show. So, needless to say I'm taking the Brownies, and then I'm gonna drink some milk and pick the Browns 24-10.

BUCCANEERS @ FALCONS- Gotta love the NFC South, where every team has a chance to win the division. A Falcons win and they move to a game back in the division, for cryin' out loud! The Bucs looked like they were the feel good story of the year early on, but have lost two out of three, and are starting to hear footsteps behind them as the Saints, Panthers, and yes even the Falcons, are all of sudden breathing down their necks. Jeff Garcia and the Bucs are rested off the bye week, add to that Byron Leftwich's questionability due to injury and Joseph Harrington's questionablility due to talent and I gotta go with the Bucs 20-15.

CARDINALS @ BENGALS- The Cardinals are one of, well, all but like three teams, in the hunt for a playoff spot in the NFC, and their offense should be in for a good day against the Bengals. Because, well, why wouldn't they be? The Bengals have only held their opponent under 24 points twice. And to be fair, it was the Ravens both times. Look for a shootout, won by the Kingdom of the Mighty Cardinal 37-31.

DOLPHINS @ EAGLES- The Eagles look terrible, then they look like they're turning it around, then back to terrible, then they look solid. Pick a direction and go with it for pete's sake! The Eagles have not won back-to-back games this year, and no team in NFL history has ever made the playoffs without winning two games in a row during the regular season. Okay, that may not be true, but it sounds like it could be, right? Well, all the Eagles have to do is beat the Dolphins and they will have back-to-back wins for the first time this year, and then they head to Foxboro for a shot at three in a row. Well, let's take it a week at a time. Eagles 42-17.

SAINTS @ TEXANS- The Saints were the disappointment of the league through five weeks, but then out of nowhere they rattled off a four game winning streak and everyone was like, "Uh-oh here come the Saints!" Then they lose to the Rams. The Rams? Yes the Rams. The same Rams that went into that game winless. Now we don't know what to think, except that the Saints will be in the playoff hunt, because they're in the NFC South where it's anybody's game. The Texans were on the other end of the spectrum. A early season feel good story, that in the blink of an eye went horribly awry, with a three game losing streak. Unlike the Saints though, the Texans probably can't afford to lose this one if they want to stay in the playoff hunt. That won't help them win, I'm just saying. Saints 31-27.

PANTHERS @ PACKERS- Big game for the Panthers as they try and stay in the thick of the NFC playoff hunt, which of course just means having a team in the NFC. Meanwhile Packers fans are already lining up for playoff tickets. Just kidding, but they're not "Favre" off. You see what I did there? Packers 23-10.

LIONS @ GIANTS- This could be the highlight of the early games today. Both teams jockeying for playoff position. Everyone is all about the resurgence of the Giants, but I'm sticking to my, "Look who they've played" argument. The Giants six wins are against Washington (5-4), Philly (4-5), Jets (1-8), Atlanta (3-6), San Fran (2-7), and Miami (0-9). Are we supposed to be impressed? I'm not faulting the Giants, they have no say over their schedule, but why are the so-called "NFL experts" so high on them like they've done something impressive? Time for Kitna to take 'em down a peg. Lions 21-16.


STEELERS @ JETS- Ben Roethlisberger may have just been being held back by Bill "The Chin" Cowher. It's either that he is thriving on playing the dregs of the NFL. The Steelers have only had three games against teams over .500, three! And let's face it, first time around against the Browns barely counts, since it was the first game of the season, and Charlie "Seasoned" Frye was the QB. And while Seattle is over .500, it's mostly due to the fact that someone has to win those NFC West games. For all we know the Steelers could be the best team in football right now, but until they play an upper echelon team, like say, I dunno, the Patriots in Week 14, we can't be sure of their actual ability. None of that really matters this week though cause they're playing the Jets. Steelers 38-12.

REDSKINS @ COWBOYS- I'd make this my upset special of the week if I had absolutely any confidence in the Redskins, which I don't. So instead I foresee the Cowboys pushing their magic number for the NFC East title to 3. Cowboys 35-20.

RAMS @ NINERS- Hard to imagine why they didn't make this the Sunday night game. I can see the promos now, "If you like turnovers and punting you'll love Rams-Niners, tonight at eight pm eastern!" The Rams actually showed some signs of life last time out, which I predicted they would. Okay so I said they would do it a game earlier, but now you're just nitpicking. Meanwhile the Niners, my preseason sleeper pick, have still not woken up as they look to get to twenty points for the first time since Week one. I don't know about anyone else but I'm eyeing that week 15 matchup with the Bengals. Terrible offense versus a terrible defense? Something's gotta give, right? Rams 27-9.

BEARS @ SEAHAWKS- The bitter rematch of last year's NFC Divisional playoff game. That's all I got. Both teams have been disappointing this year, but just may be on level playing fields, so it could be close. I'm making this my coin flip game of Week 11. Hey look at that,Seahawks 16-10.

PATRIOTS @ BILLS- The Bills were dominant for like 55 minutes the last time they hosted a prime time game, but that was then and this is now. I'd give the Bills a better shot if Marshawn Lynch was playing, but with the "Lynch Mob" out of action, the Pats will be too much for the Billsies. Patriots 31-14.

TITANS @ BRONCOS- Is it just me or does it seem that when the Broncos play night games they're always at home? Maybe it's just me, weird? The Titans are somehow pretty good. I mean their defense is super, but VY and the offense are inconsistent at best. I think the Broncos "D" and the thin air will bother VY. Broncos 24-21.

Well there you have it, your week eleven picks, in just under the gun.
And now for your viewing pleasure, cheese:


Hope it's Gouda-nough!

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