BROWNS @ RAMS: How could anyone pick the Rams? Honestly? I made them my upset special of the week last week and I was right, they did upset. Me, that is! Stupid Rams, maybe they should go as a football team for Halloween, cause it would be a big stretch for them! Brownies 27-13.
LIONS @ BEARS: The Lions are almost six point underdogs in this one, where's the love? Let's see the Bears have a worse record and really, let's be honest, pretty much all their wins have been pure luck, am I right? Viva la Kitna! Lions in the upset 21-20.
COLTS @ CAROLINA: I really thought the Jags "D" would've slowed the Colts down a bit, but nope, they allowed 29 points. The Panthers could make the playoffs this year. With Vinny "Ferrari" Testaverde at the helm, no less. A lot of teammates weren't even born when Vinny started in the NFL for crying out loud! Wait, where was I? Oh yeah the Panthers could make the playoffs, but probably not if they were in the AFC. Colts 31-17.
DOLPHINS VS. GIANTS @ LONDON, ENGLAND: If the Dolphins win this game, they may petition to play the rest of their home games in London. I'm all for sticking the Dolphins on another continent, even their fans, who are already incontinent. In fact move the whole state of Florida, I say. Giants 35-13.
RAIDERS @ TITANS: Only an idiot would honestly think the Raiders can win this one, which means they probably will win this one. Nah, Titans 21-17.
EAGLES @ VIKINGS: Philadelphiers want Andy Reid to resign and Donovan McNabb benched, so these two better get their acts together and quickly. Although we may be closing in on an Andy Reid press conference in which he states that it's harder to be a white head coach in the National Football League. Ooooh the controversy. Isn't he right though? I mean Art Shell, got rehired and made it through all of last season, and I'm not sure he was even conscious for most of it. If he was white, he'd a been gone in Week 8. Yeah, that's right "Bitterness" just git edgy! Or we're just being a horse's petoot? You be the judge! Eagles 10-7.
BILLS @ JETS: I am so sick of hearing about Trent Edwards this and Trent Edwards that. I mean the guy is everywhere! Oh wait, he's not? Well he should be, he's the next Tony Romo. For whatever that's worth? Bills 18-16.
TEXANS @ CHARGERS: The Texans window is officially closed. If they were in the NFC they'd be a playoff contender, but in th AFC it's just not the year. Plus the Chargers have had a chance to re-charge after a bye week, and a rested Turner and Hooch is like, um, something really good and dangerous? Chargers 31-20.
JAGUARS @ BUCCANEERS: If you're wondering why the Jags are underdogs, well, that would be because David Garrard is out and Quinn Gray is in. The only reason I'd ever heard of QG before Monday was because I did a franchise with the Jaguars in Madden '05 and he was my third stringer. I had to play him once, once and let's just say it might be time to see if Matty Jones remembers how to QB. Bucs 16-10.
SAINTS @ 49ERS: Ah, a classic old school NFC West showdown in Candlestick 3COM Monster Park. The Saints are rolling right now with a big 2 game winning streak, but looking at their schedule I only see them winning 8 games at the most. So the playoffs are outta the question, unless they really turn it on. Lucky for them the Niners offense is terrible, even with the return of Alex Smith. Saints 21-13.
REDSKINS @ PATRIOTS: It's sort of amazing that in this crazy "pc" world we live in that the Redskins name still lives on. But I digress. The 'Skins defense has not allowed more than 24 points in a game, but the Patriots are a whole 'nother animal altogether. This one has upset written all over it, but I'm sticking with what works and picking the Pats to win 31-17.
PACKERS @ BRONCOS: Weren't the Broncos just on in prime time, um, last week? All signs point to a ridiculous Brett Favre night. You know gunslingin' to and fro all the live long night. Which means either a lot of scoring or a lot of turnovers for the Pack. I'm picking the former. Or the latter? The scoring one. Packers 28-27.
And now your cheese, fried to perfection:
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