WEEK FIVE: THE CHRONICLES OF KITNA

Well it's already week five, how the heck did that happen? Now I know our faithful readers (yes, I can use plural, there's at least seven) have plenty of questions to ask us. How are we doing with our picks compared to the Sports Guy and Peter King? Why have the most recent posts seemed to be lacking in quantity and quality? How is Pluto doing being a big nothing? What are our thoughts on the MLB Playoffs? Etcetera, etcetera. Well, believe us, when we say we have answers to all those questions and more, and you shall receive them shortly. It has been a trying time here at "Bitterness" in recent weeks. Okay, well that is actually a lie, but it sounds like something we should say. Anyways, due to some technical difficulties and time restraints we will have to give you the short, short version of our NFL picks this week. I know you may be heart broken, but rest assured in the next couple of weeks, we will once again be firing on all cylinders. So here you have the short, short version of our NFL picks for Week five:

PANTHERS @ SAINTS: It's a new month and a lot of teams are thankful for that. The Saints are one team in particular that are ecstatic to see September come to an end. The bye week should help a bit, plus David Carr could play for Carolina, so I'm taking the Saints 31-17.

JAGUARS @ CHIEFS: Not really sure how the Chiefs beat the Chargers, but I'm confident the Jags will squeak this one out 17-3.

LIONS @ REDSKINS: Meaningless stat of the week: Last week the Lions put up 34 points. IN THE FOURTH QUARTER! That's more than 22 teams scored in their entire games last week. Think about it. Bet on Kitna! Lions 31-30.

FALCONS @ TITANS: Should we believe JJ Harrington is making a resurgent push in Hotlanta? We here at "Bitterness" ain't buying. Titans 27-17.

DOLPHINS @ TEXANS: All of a sudden the Texans are on a two game losing streak and in last place in the AFC South. Luckily the Dolphins are working on being last place in the NFL. Texans 31-13.

SEAHAWKS @ STEELERS: Can the Steelers lose back-to-back games? Dare we dream? Well they are undefeated at the Ketchup Packet this year and the Seahwaks have been slightly disappointing, so no they won't lose back-to-back games. Steelers 21-17.

BROWNS @ PATRIOTS: Randy Moss is on pace for like 28 touchdowns, which is sort of ridiculous. Not as ridiculous as when he hauls in 5 today! Okay, that won't happen, but I wouldn't hold out for the Pats undefeated season to end here. Patriots 37-10.

CARDINALS @ RAMS: A struggling Rams team without Stephen Jackson, Isaac Bruce and I'm pretty sure Marc Bulger. Call me crazy but I don't think Tony Banks is leading a resurgence in St. Louis, Cardinals 21-14.

JETS @ GIANTS or GIANTS @ JETS: Does it really matter? So the endzones will have the Ginats name in them, and the tickets go to the Giants fans, but I think the Jets will have a pretty good handle on the nuances of the Swamplands. Right now the Giants are looking better, which is not saying a lot considering how the Jets are playing. Giants 13-3.

BUCCANEERS @ COLTS: The Bucs "D" has been pretty solid thus far and they are currently leading the worst division i football, but that's no reason to think they can beat the Colts people. Settle down. Colts 21-17.

CHARGERS @ BRONCOS: The Chargers are another team who's like to forget September, but the Broncos may not be any easy task. I say maybe, because it's hard to tell how good the Broncos are exactly. I'm saying the Chargers break out of their funk, cause, well, now's a good of time as any, right? Chargers 28-24.

RAVENS @ 49ERS: One of these teams will be below .500 after this one. Yes, we're predicting this won't end in a tie! You may think it's bad that the Ravens have only scored 79 points in four games, until you see the Niners have only scored 56 points. Ravens I guess 7-3.

BEARS @ PACKERS: A Packers win and the Bears will be four games back in the division after five games. Not a place you wanna be. Packers "D" will befuddle whoever is taking snaps for teh Bears. Packers 17-13.

COWBOYS @ BILLS: Maybe not as lopsided as you may think. I said maybe! Trent Edwards is ready for the bright lights and big stage. But is he starting? I should really look these things up. Cowboys 24-17.

Have fun, be safe, we're out!