Sunday, February 10, 2008


Alright kids, time to open up another mailbag. Lots to get to, but first and foremost, despite his most recent post, we'd like to wish our good pal billyball a Happy 30-something (not 9!) Birthday! May the Pacifico flow like wine! And now on to the bag!

Osi U. of New York, NJ asks, "Is it time now to give the Giants some love and respect? The punched the Pats right in their mouth and shocked the world! Give some props!"

Props? What am I Carrot Top? Who by the way is the buffest comedian in all the land. Okay, I will give it to the G-Men they did outplay the Patriots and shock me, and several others I'm sure. I'm still not sold on them or Eli though. I am happy for Syracuse alums David Tyree and Tom Coughlin . More Tyree than Coughlin though. Tyree has inserted himself into Super Bowl lore as part of a just ridonkulous play that really won the game for the Giants in my opinion. And true story, Tom Coughlin, played football at Syracuse University alongside my high school football coach. Now you know.

William S. of Syracuse, NY queries, "What happened to the Patriots out there? How does the best team and quarterback of all time, lose? Weren't they the best of all-time?! Hmmm, hmmm?"

Well, what they did, and I've found it the easiest way to lose, is to score less points than the other team. Works every time. No, but seriously, what happened is the Giants had a game plan and shoved it right down the Patriots' throats. But the odd thing was Beli-cheat uncharacteristically did not seem to adjust during the game. And what was with going for it on 4th and 13? C'mon! Really when it comes down to it, the Pats went old school for us longtime fans. Back to a time when a true Boston (and yes I realize the Pats don't play in Boston, but believe it or not, Boston is in New England) fan would be nervous throughout and have no doubt that their squad would blow it, more than likely, in heartbraking fashion (see Red Sox of '67, '76, '78, '86, and '03). It's good for some Boston "fans" though, because it stands to maybe, just maybe, take 'em down a peg and lower that false sense of superiority, if at least for a couple weeks. How 'bout them Celtics?!

Bud W of St. Luois, MO wants to know, "The game was good, I suppose, but how about them commercials? I personally was a bit disappointed. Did you have any favorites?"

Couldn't agree more. And I won't. I'll agree just the same. It seems to me that every year the advertisements that air during the big game get worse and worse. I mean there are still some funny ones out there, be they seem to appear less than the good old days. Even Anheuser-Busch, which has virtually unbearable product, but unlimited commercial funds, seemed not up to snuff. Like I said there were a few winners, like the screaming animals (that's always gold) and the Matt Hasselback, "That's when I knew I hadn't made it". The one with JT (Justin Timberlake for those who are confused) was alright. I didn't quite get it, but blows to a man's crotch are always good for a few laughs, especially if he used to be in a boy band, am I right? I did like the Barkley Fav Five ad and also the Planters ad where the homely woman used Planters peanuts as a perfume. Also the giant carrier pigeons were alright I suppose.

Barack O. of the DC area inquires, "Did you vote and if so for who? Or are you one of those people who doesn't want anyone to know who they voted for?"

Well, I, of course, voted for Ralph Nader. I, for one, think he is overdue. I'm just kidding, I didn't vote. Alright, alright, settle down and let me explain, before you go all America on my ass. I didn't vote, because as you know, "Bitterness" recently moved and as a result was caught in a tough spot of not being able to get a New York absentee ballot, nor register in the Commonwealth. So there! But it seems that Ralphie did just fine without me. Actually I probably would've gone McCain because he speaks to the conservative nature of this blog. But as long as you brought it up, I don't understand why people are so afraid to tell others who they voted for. I mean, do you not stand by your candidate? What are you embarassed?! You hang your head high and tell the world when you vote for Dennis Kucinich! If anyone can make the moon the 51st state it's him!

I know you're not big on the Grammy's, but what about the Oscars? Have you even seen any nominated films?

Have I seen any nominated films? Hmm, that depends, was Wild Hogs nominated for anything? I do not get out to the movies as much as I used to, but have managed to see two of the five films nominated for best picture. I saw Michael Clayton and No Country For Old Men and enjoyed both. Out of those two I would pick No Country as the better film though. But what do I know, I'm still waiting for someone to drop Gung Ho special edition DVD on us. Although, I would almost guarantee Juno won't win Best Picture. I do want to see this and am sure it is awesome, but it feels a bit like this year's Little Miss Sunshine. Good, but without enough firepower to win the chocolate filled statue. Okay, one more Oscar related note: If I were Cate Blanchett, well, I'd be rich and famous for one. Oh, but besides that, I'd be like, "Hey let's just shoot enough for like eight Elizabeth movies and release one each year." That's like a guaranteed eight straight nominations right there! Am I right?

Byron B. from Newport Beach, CA has this, "Once again, the rumors of an Arrested Development movie are floating around, what are the odds of this happening and is it a good idea?"
No, it's not a good idea. It's a great idea! Mitch Hurwitz is awesome, Less than Perfect notwithstanding. I mean aside from Arrested, he also wrote for the Golden Girls, Empty Nest and Nurses. C'mon he's written for all the greats, Rue McClanaghan, Richard Dreyfus, David "Stop calling me Joe Isuzu" Leisure! The list goes on. I know, I know the fear is there's a chance this will ruin the original product. After all they pulled a Costanza and went out on a high note. At least with fans of the show that is. But there are those who feel the only way to go is down. But I say, it'll give us AD deprived fans some life again. Plus when the droves of hard core fans show up to see it, Fox will see how stupid it really is and probably begin production on Are You Smarter than a Redneck" the Movie. And I, for one, can't wait.

Tony A. of Hingham, MA offers this up, "Has the move to Boston gotten any sort of hockey fever going inside you? The Bruins are playing pretty decent and the Beanpot has been in full swing, will we see any sort of hockey posts in the near future?

The Beanpot is exciting, I think. But I haven't paid much attention to it. I do know the final is possibly on Monday night? As far as the Bruins go, I have caught a few snippits here and there and am more interested in the NHL than I have been in the last ten years, probably. That's not saying a whole heck of a lot though. I may even watch their All-Star game. What? Oh, it already happened? Eh, oh well. Now just to be clear, I am no fair weather fan when it comes to anything. I just don't really follow that much hockey, but the Bruns always have been and always will be my squad in the NHL. Followed a close second by the Blackhawks and then, of course, by the Whalers and the Winnipeg Jets.

Richard V. of Clichetown, CT inquires, "When are we gonna get the March Madness stuff, baby?!"

Probably in March? You probably mean when am I gonna post about the NCAA Hoops scene? Well, it is in the offing, I think. As I am not 100% sure what, "in the offing" means? But I am looking to dive into the college hoops scene very soon. But hey, you know this is my busy time of year, cut me some slack! What if I helped ease your pain by letting you know, this year we are introducing the very first "Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch Final Fork"? Intrigued? Good!

That about wraps the bag up for this week, but I'd like to end on sort of a somber note. This past week, my grandmother passed away. Now, truth be told, we really lost her a few years ago. You see old age wreaked some major havoc on her mind and she was unable to recognize or remember those she loved. This is not going to be a big long eugoogliy or anything, I just thought I'd share two quick stories.

You see my grandmother loved baseball, especially the Red Sox, and I still remember watching games with her all the time. Whether it was on her 13 inch black and white or at my house on the big color tv. You see, she would come and stay with me when my parents were away at conferences and conventions, when I was little. We watched many a Red Sox game together, but there is one that will always stick out in my mind. I was probably nine or ten at the time, and my parents were away, so my grandma was watching me, and the Sox. Now the specifics of the game are a little blurry. But I seem to recall the game being against the Angels on a Friday night. In this particular game the Red Sox balked in the winning run. Grandma and I looked at each other quizzically. Neither of us was entirely sure what, exactly, a balk was. Sure they showed replays and tried to explain, but for a little scamp and his grandmother, it was still hard to understand. So we went to sleep, not fully grasping how the Red Sox had managed to lose the game. Well, first thing in the morning, my grandma was on the horn (pre-internets) to my Uncle David, inquiring about this "balk" thing, knowing her grandson was deseparate for answers. Well Uncle David was not much mroe informed than the two of us, so we had to wait for my dad to return with the answers we were seeking. Now, to this day, I still can't really spot a balk, but every time I see one called I think of my grandma and that particular game, many years ago.

Okay the second story is not quite as long, but is much more chilling and absolutely true. I was informed of my grandmother's passing on Monday night. Tuesday I headed off to work at my retail job. I happened to be helping this mother and her daughters. After a bit of helping, I find out the two daughters' names are Emma and Paige. The hairs on my neck proceeded to stand on end. My late grandmother's name is Emma Paige. If I weren't right there, I wouldn't have believed it myself.

This post is dedicated to Emma Paige, 1921-2008

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