WEEK 7:

BEARS VS BUCCANEERS (+1) (IN LONDON, ENGLAND): Those blimey Brits are in for a real treat, as we send them Jay Cutler. That should put a quick end to that whole "Ugly Americans" thing! To me the game is kind of cool, but why not try and move it around? Maybe to more old homes of World League of American Football teams? Frankfurt, Barcelona maybe even the rebooted WLAFers in Rhein and Amsterdam? Who wouldn't want to see a skirmish in Frankfurt's gorgeous Waldstadion? Come on! Do it for WLAF superstar Kerwin Bell! BEARS 27-20

REDSKINS @ PANTHERS (-2.5): Point of order, Peter King and the rest of the talking heads, Kurt Coleman did not single-handedly save (possibly) the Eagles season. I think Rex Grossman deserves more credit than he is getting for the Eagles "big" win on Sunday. He was riverboat gamblin', like only a professional riverboat gambler, could riverboat gamble! Riverboat gambler! John Beck was most assuredly adequate in taking over for Sexy Rexy on Sunday, but if I'm a Redksins fan, I'm not super confident in either QB leading them anywhere but to the land of mediocrity. PANTHERS 21-17

CHARGERS @ JETS (+2): Unsexy Rexy got his team back on track a little, by beating the Dolphins, and while the Dolphins are pretty much crud personified, a win is a win. But if the Jets wannna be contenders, they have to be concerned that the 3 teams they beat have a combined record of 3-13, while the team they've lost to are 13-3. Sadly, looking at the Jets schedule from here, I'm not sure this is a must win for the Jets. It would be a big one heading into the bye week, but after the bye, aside from 2 games against Buffalo and one against the Patriots, they have it fairly easy- Broncos, Chiefs, Redskins, Dolphins, Eagles Giants. Now the NFC East teams are inconsistent so you don't know what you're gettin', but as of right now, the Jets could get to 9-7 without beating a winning team. CHARGERS 28-20

SEAHAWKS @ BROWNS (-3): The Niners should be watching this closely as a Seahawks loss puts the Niners magic number at 8! Yes the NFC west is bad. As Frank Caliendo, as George W. Bush, said, " Leading the NFC West is like being the most famous Menefee." I keep waiting for Colt McCoy to go off or for Peyton Hills to help my gosh darned fantasy team by doing ANYTHING! But, alas, neither has quite happened yet. Could this be the week? Probably not, but I like the Brownies over the Hawks, regardless. BROWNS 24-16

TEXANS @ TITANS (-3): Pretty big game in the AFC South, what with the Colts and Jaguars being more or less non-entities this year. A rested and refreshed Matt Hasselbeck against the Mario Williams-less Texans. This could probably go either way, but I am going for the rested Titans. TITANS 25-21

BRONCOS @ DOLPHINS (-1.5): Well, this should be, hands down, the "game I could not care less about" for week seven. But Tim Tebow is playing! I mean did the odds makers completely forget this when making the spread? The spread should be the Broncos by 57! Tim Tebow, walks on water! Tim Tebow can eat just one potato chip! Tim Tebow is the cure for Bieber Fever! Tim Tebow throws footballs through brick walls....with his non-throwing hand! It takes Tim Tebow 30 seconds to make Minute Rice! But seriously, he's wildly overrated and I am glad the media has kept this story in check and not blown it out of all sorts of proportions. BRONCOS 87-3

FALCONS @ LIONS (-3.5): The Falcons continue to disappoint me, but were able to put the Panthers away last week. The Lions were handed their first loss, but I still think they're the real deal. Besides the Falcons have not won two games in a row yet this season! LIONS 31-27

CHIEFS @ RAIDERS (-4.5): Well if the Radiers are for real or not, will not be proven this week against the lowly Chiefs. Even with Hesiman running the offense (that reference is for the die hard "Bitterness" fans). And is it just me or does it seem like a really long time ago that KC won the AFC West? Apparently it was just last season? RAIDERS 35-20

STEELERS @ CARDINALS (+3.5): Just one of two, yes TWO, games between teams that have met each other in a Super Bowl. And they both figure to be equally un-compelling games. This is not of those games where I give the Cards no chance because I am somehow under the delusion the Steelers are ridiculously great. No, no. I give the Cards no chance cause they're terrible. STEELERS 24-17


RAMS @ COWBOYS (-12): This one slides right into this week's, "Game I Could Not Care Less About" spot. COWBOYS 42-12

PACKERS @ VIKINGS (-9): Easy first game for Christian Ponder against the undefeated, defending Super Bowl champs. Good luck with all of that. PACKERS 27-14

COLTS @ SAINTS (-14): Super Bowl, um, something or other, rematch looked great before Peyton Manning went under the knife. Saints should downright cruise, not sure why they wouldn't. But I still stay away from a spread this big. SAINTS 28-17

RAVENS @ JAGUARS (+7.5): Really? Someone actually thought the Jaguars deserved a Monday night game? At home? This is shaping up to be one of the worst years for Monday Night Football that I can remember. RAVENS 31-13

Next week, extra cheese!

WEEK SIX: GAME OF KITNAS

RAMS @ PACKERS (-15): The Rams have been less than impressive for the most part and the Packers are pretty darned good. The Packers have to be the front runners for the NFC crown at this point and I don't foresee their first loss coming this week. PACKERS 31-17

JAGUARS @ STEELERS (-12): Much to my surprise the Steelers trounced the Titans last week. I'm pretty entertained by the fact that when the Steelers lose they're too old, and when they win they're not too old at all. Well, I still think they're getting old and are overrated, but the Jaguars are rated just right and that bodes well for the Steelers. STEELERS 21-13

EAGLES @ REDSKINS (+1.5): Panic time in Philly! I repeat, time to PANIC, Eagles! Another must win for the Eagles here against the Skins in our nation's capital. It appears the Eagles are just overrated. Vick is good though and at some point you gotta figure the Eagles will turn it on and string some wins together. My bet? It starts this week. EAGLES 27-17

49ERS @ LIONS (-4): A battle between two of the early season upstarts. The Niners are fairly good, but I feel like the Lions are much more legit. The Niners defense will certainly have their work cut out for them, as they try and contain Megatron, who is well on his way to setting the single season receiving touchdowns record. LIONS 23-14

PANTHERS @ FALCONS (-4): I continue to try aNd have faith in the Falcons, but there's just something about them that screams mediocrity. This is why this is my upset special this week. I mean Figgy can really toss the pigskin and the Panthers are bound to get some big wins eventually, so why not this week? PANTHERS 27-21

COLTS @ BENGALS (-7): Not much faith in Curtis Painter I guess, huh? Kind of feels like Peyton Manning should be the MVP for not playing. I mean, look at how valuable he was to the Colts! Well Curtis Painter is no Peyton Manning and Andy Dalton is no Akili Smith! The Bengals are not gawd awful and I don't think the Colts are as gawd awful as most people think. Hope that clears things up. BENGALS 24-21

BILLS @ GIANTS (-3): Ah, a rematch of an umentionable game to Buffaloians. Buffaloans? Buffaloers? Ah well, that game is far in the past (yet never forgotten). Giants lost gloriously last week, when their bold strategy to not cover a Seahawks receiver backfired late in the game. Meanwhile the Bills got right back on track with a win against Philly and are looking solid. BILLS 23-17

TEXANS @ RAVENS (-7.5): The Texans fell short against the Raiders last week and lost Mario Williams....not good times in Houston. The Ravens are for reals, me thinks and they will beat up on dem reelin' Texans. RAVENS 24-14

BROWNS @ RAIDERS (-6.5): Well my 0-5 fantasy team is riding on McCoy and Hillis this week to get us in the "W" column. McCoy and Hillis sounds like it would be a cool cowboy show. Or perhaps a buddy cop show set in Texas or Wyoming. RAIDERS 28-24

COWBOYS @ PATRIOTS (-7): Patriots added a consistent running game against the Jets last week and if they keep that up it could be Bad News Bears, Walter Matthau for the rest of the league. The Cowboys have been very, well, Cowboyesque, being wildly inconsistent that is. It will be no picnic for the Romosexual and the Boys on Sunday that's for darned sure. PATRIOTS 31-22

SAINTS @ BUCCANEERS (+4.5): The Buccaneers have come down to earth, as it were, the last couple of weeks. Of course if you weren't buying into the talking heads' Hypemaster 5000 , and were buying into the Talkng Heads' More Songs About Buildings and Food, you'd know the Bucs were on the earth the entire time and the Talking Heads are awesome. SAINTS 35-17

Ugh, as for the Sunday and Monday night games, I really think they are both horrible games althought they could end up being close, who knows? But that's about all I have to say about that.

VIKINGS @ BEARS (-3): BEARS 24-10

DOLPHINS @ JETS (-7) : JETS 14-10

WEEK FIVE: ROCK'EM SOCK'EM KITNA

Less games, less "Bitterness". Or at least that will be my excuse for a slightly abbreviated post this week. The real excuse is, like so many of you, I will be waiting in line for tickets to repeated showings of Real Steel, aka Rock'em Sock'em Robots: The Movie. Don't try and deny it, I know some of you are reading this on your smart phones while you wait in line to be one of the first on your block to see it, right now! So with this epic surefire Oscar winner out in theaters, I'm gonna go all board game on your respective behinds this week! Milton Bradley and the Parker Brothers will be proud! Like wth many other weeks, I flipped a coin to decide almost every game.

CHIEFS @ COLTS (-2.5): UNO! That is the number of wins these teams have. Combined. The Colts have shown some moxie, but are in desperate need of one of them "reverse" cards to change their luck. CHIEFS 23-19

CARDINALS @ VIKINGS (-2.5): The Vikings are all hungry, hungry hippos for that first win and just like last week, I think this is the week! VIKINGS 28-21

EAGLES @ BILLS (+2.5): Bills took their first loss last week, so they ain't in Candyland anymore! Yeah, I have no idea what that means. BILLS 23-18

RAIDERS @ TEXANS (-6): You may want to Skip-"bo" watching this one, but it could be an interesting battle as the Raiders look like they may be feisty most of the season. TEXANS 34-27

SAINTS @ PANTHERS (+6.5): Feels like this could be a classic "mouse" trap game. Panthers have been close and Cam Newton has been ridonkulous for the most part. This could be similar to the battle against the Texans, somehow. SAINTS 38-35

BENGALS @ JAGUARS (-2.5): The Bengals have been up and down like a mad game of Chutes and Ladders. Two rookie QBs lock horns in this one and it seems like anyone's game. I'm going with the Bengals and their momentum. BENGALS 24-20

TITANS @ STEELERS (-3): Your rock'em sock'em slugfest of the week! CJ broke 100 yards last week, but just when he gets goin, he faces the Steelers D who have given up like two 100-yd rushing games to a back in their last 852 games. I am looking into confirming that number, but it sure looks like Turn and Coughlin is headed to 0-5. Sigh. TITANS 17-11

SEAHAWKS @ GIANTS (-9.5): Yahtzee! This is this week's "game I could not care less about!" GIANTS 27-20

BUCCANEERS @ 49ERS (-3): Buccaneers, do not pass "GO", do not collect your fourth win, the 49ers will have a monopoly on the good plays in this one. NINERS 21-14

JETS @ PATRIOTS (-9): Belichik and Rex Ryan will engage in Stratego like battle once again. This could go either way and I am not seeing where this spread came from. While the Pats still have last year's playoff game in the back of their minds their defense has played quite awfully thus far. PATRIOTS 31-28

CHARGERS @ BRONCOS (+4): SORRR-y, Broncos, you just aren't good enough. Is this the week we see Tim Tebow actually factor in? Do I really care? CHARGERS 35-21

PACKERS @ FALCONS (+6): A rematch of last year's playoff game when Aaron Rodgers carved the Falcons up like an Operation champ! Shouldn't be much different this time around! PACKERS 33-23


BEARS @ LIONS (-5.5): Not much of a clue on this one. Will it be Professor Forte with his running in the Lions secondary or Colonel Stafford with his Megatron in the end zone? Coinflip says.... LIONS 31-27

And now your cheese! Well, Pa- CHEESE.......i:

WEEK FOUR: ANY WHICH WAY BUT KITNA

In week three:

The Bills snapped their losing streak against the Patriots, and took over sole posssesion of 1st in the AFC East because...the Jets were beaten by the upstart Raiders who did not need to come from 20 points down to win like....the Lions, who are 3-0 for the first time in quite some time, after becoming the third team in a row to come back from a double digit deficit against.....the Vikings, who couldn't hold a lead if they had a hot date with a....I lost my train of thought. Umm, OH, the Packers win, but were deaked out of their tight pants by the Bears on a late punt return which was almost a touchdown, but not for a big holding penalty, and it was just slightly more exciting than....the monsoon that enveloped the Jags-Panthers game for about a quarter or so which would have been a great excuse for...the 1st 13-8 final in NFL history, but sadly the Bengals-Niners battle of futility was played in the bright sunshine not under the lights like....the Monday nighter that saw the second 9-9 halftime score ever in NFL history as the Cowboys won with out scoring a touchdown. Well, quite a week for sure and I gotta believe week four will be just as compelling as the Lions and Bills go for 4-0? Still doesn't sound quite right but I like it!

DETROIT @ DALLAS (-1): Is Tony Romo tough, stupid, or both? Well, say what you will (lord knows I will throughout the season) but I'd take Romo over Brady any day....in the octagon. Well, maybe not a day with cracked ribs. Maybe. While I'm not, and may never be, sold on Romo's playing ability, the Cowboys defense may be turning a corner and right now that could certainly keep them in the NFC East race. I mean how does a team win, without scoring a touchdown and fumbling six, count 'em, six times? Defense probably has something to do with that, right? Although I wouldn't exactly call the 'Skins an offensive juggrenaut even with Sexy Rexy at the helm (sorry long time "Bitterness" reader Rex Grossman's mom).

On the other side of the field will be the Lions who are 3-0 for the first time since, well, I dunno, but it's been decades, plural, since it happened. Not even the Scott Mitchell or Erik Kramer Lions started a season 3-0. They also never did it once with Barry Sanders in the backfield. Another fun note, is the last Lions QB to lead them back from a 20 point deficit is Bobby Layne.

Now, I don't know how good the Lions really are yet, but I am inclined to beleive they are somewhat legit. And I think you all know I don't toss around that "somewhat legit" label around freely! LIONS 27-21

NEW ORLEANS @ JACKSONVILLE (+7): No one is gonna confuse this year's Saints defense with the Steel Curtain defense of the Steelers or the '85 Bears defense that's for darned sure. I guess, to be fair, they were torched by a couple of pretty good QBs. Sunday they get a QB with exactly one NFL start under his belt. Barring another gorilla monsoon like in last week's Jags' game, I'd say the Saints should not have too much trouble in this one. SAINTS 31-18

SAN FRANCISCO @ PHILADELPHIA (-8.5): Michael Vick has practiced and says he's 100% sure he'll play against the Niners on Sunday. Well that's good enough for me, Dr. Vick! Even if he does play, there's no guarantee he'll be 100% and right now he's having trouble taking snaps under center, which is sort of a pretty big part of his duties on Sunday. If the Eagles have to have Kafka be king of "The Castle" (obscure literary reference of the week) again, it may spell trouble for Philly. EAGLES 21-17

WASHINGTON @ ST. LOUIS (+1.5): This weeks's winner of "the game I could not care less about" award. The Rams have shown little improvement week to week and, in fact, seemed to take a giant leap backwards last week. Which means this is a no-brainer to pick the Skins, which is what I will do, which is why the Rammers have an excellent shot at getting their first "W" of the season. REDKSINS 27-21

TENNESSEE @ CLEVELAND (-1): All the talk since Manning was not going to start for Indy, has been about the AFC South is the Texans division to lose. But hold the phone! How did people dismiss the Titans from the get go? I mean they've played decent enough and at some point you gotta think CJ will start making an impact, right? Please say yes, cause Turn and Coughlin is 0-3 and could really use some production from our first round pick already! Okay, sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, don't sleep on the Titans, or hay, it's downright itchy. TITANS 31-21

BUFFALO @ CINCINNATI (+3): Buffalo is flying high this week. While I can't say I was sure the Williams would win last week, I knew they'd cover. "So, is it safe to now say the Bills are for real this year?" you may be asking. They have their shortcomings for sure, but right now they have a very good shot at 4-0 as long as they don't get too overconfident after their big win last week. BILLS 35-15

MINNESOTA @ KANSAS CITY (-1.5): The Vikings have blown double digit leads in all three of their games this season. The last, a 20 point lead against the division rival Lions. Now it seems like it's hard to put all of this on the shoulders of my fellow Syracuse alum, Donovan McNabb, but I have seen very little of their games, so I can't really say. What I can say is most Vikings fans are no longer pondering, but calling for a QB change to, well, Ponder. I think the Vikes hold on this week against the Charlesless Chieves. VIKINGS 23-14

CAROLINA @ CHICAGO (-6.5): The Bears probably had the play of the day Sunday with that punt return that faked everyone out, including the cameraman! Everyone watching at home was wondering what was happening as we did not even see Johnny Knox catch that punt. Too bad a holding penalty negated that effort. Meanwhile Cam Newton was stumbling a bit, partly in a monsoon, against the Jags and now he gets da Bears, could be another long afternoon for the rookie. BEARS 27-15

PITTSBURGH @ HOUSTON (-4): The Steelers may very well make the playoffs this year, but right now they're not looking a team that should. Their offensive line is a civ and, well, most of their team is kinda old. The Texans on the other hand are the fancy schmancy pick to win the AFC South. Well, they had their chance to impress me last week, and while they did put up a valiant effort and have been without Arian Foster for the most part, I'm still not buyin' what their sellin'. That being said, I think they win this one. TEXANS 22-14

ATLANTA @ SEATTLE (+4.5): I don't know much about the Seahawks, and I don't care to. I'm still holding on to the idea the Falcons are gonna be good, but it's getting harder and harder (that's what she said?) by the week. FALCONS 45-17

NEW YORK GIANTS @ ARIZONA (+1.5): Yeah, there was quite a contest for "the game I coul not care less about". Frankly beating the Eagles last week didn't impress me as much as it impressed most. I guess it depends on how good the Eagles defense really is. I'll tell ya this much, if Victor Cruz keeps doing his best Phil McConkey impersonation




for the G-men, everything else is cream cheese! GIANTS 21-14

MIAMI @ SAN DIEGO (-7): Am I the only one who still sees the name Tony Sparano and thinks Tony Soprano? I'm surprised I haven't seen shirts with "the Sparanos" on them, knocking off the Sopranos logo. Although, I guess Miami fans aren't all that bright (Miami fans send your hate mail to jayfiedler@imanidiot.net ) and maybe don't know the Sopranos were fictional and are trying to avoid the wrath of Tony. Or maybe it's because it depitcs a firearm?

I'd assume they'd just put Snowflake there in it's place, right?

Anyways, the Chargers always start slow, so the fact they are 2-1 has to be a good sign for Norv and company. Plus the Dolphins don't appear to be very good, so a 3-1 record seems to be in the cards for the Bolts. CHARGERS 24-10

DENVER @ GREEN BAY (-12.5): The Packers are legit, but I feel like they may play down to their opponents, and that 12.5 spread is a bit daunting. Basically, I try to not pick teams to cover double digit spreads and this is no different, even though they could very well cover. Got that? PACKERS 28-17

NEW ENGLAND @ OAKLAND (+4): The Belichik Patriots rarely lose two in a row it seems, so the Raiders may very well just be Tom Brady's whipping boys this Sunday, regardless of the fact they may be good this year and this game is in the black hole amongst all them passionate (read: psychotic) Raiders fans. PATRIOTS 38-24

NEW YORK JETS @ BALTIMORE (-3.5): This'll be a defensive battle, one would reckon. I'm inclined to believe the Ravens we saw in weeks one and three were the real Ravens. Or, maybe they'll only play good in odd numbered weeks, who the heck knows? RAVENS 23-17

INDIANAPOLIS @ TAMPA BAY (-10): Okay, this was very much in the running for "the game this week I could not care less about" but I am kind of curious to see what the Bucs do and c'mon ya gotta care about primetime games featuring Curtis Painter, right? I mean look at that punim:

Am I right folks? Well, his family might wanna watch. I said, "might". BUCCANEERS 16-10

So, there ya have it, another week of picks in the books, enjoy the games and your cheese:

WEEK THREE: KITNABALL?

Well, well, well, here we are headed into week three and of course the Bills, Lions and Redskins are 2-0! 2010 division winners Colts, Chiefs and Seahawks are 0-2. I know what you're thinking how could the Chiefs and Seahawks both have won the division last year, they're both in the AFC West?! Well, turns out they moved the 'Hawks to the NFC quite some time ago. Also, it is really irrelevant to me that the Chiefs and Seahawks are both defending division champs, since the Chiefs did it with smoke and mirrors and the Seahawks won the NFC West, but the division winner thing is what everyone is gonna to point to, trying to drum up some semblance of story or parity. Winning the NFC West last year was akin to being the skinniest kid in fat camp. And while we're sort of mentioning the Chiefs, how bad are they? I mean Todd Haley is a horrible head coach and they are off to an all out atrocious start. But not to worry KC fans, at least your best offensive weapon, Jamaal Charles is out for the season, which is gonna severely reduce the odds of "Charles in Charge" headlines in the Kansas City periodicals. Hey maybe Scott Baio could play some QB or wideout? I'm sure Willie Aames is a terrific scatback, they could throw some pads on him and toss him in there.

Well, enough (Eight is Enough?) of that. after a solid 8-8 week two, it's on to the week three picks!

49ERS @ BENGALS (-2.5): Last week the Niners battled the Cowboys in a battle of former playoff rivals and this week it's a rematch of Super Bowl XXIII ! Now obviously it's not the first rematch since then and the Bengals have not really even been close to getting back to the big game, while the Niners have won a pair of Super Bowl rings since that game. Neither team has been to the Super Bowl since 1995 and the Bengals have not won a playoff game since 1990 when they beat the Houston Oilers, who no longer exist. How is any of this relevant to this matchup, you may ask? Well I can't say it it, just thought I'd crack an egg of knowledge over your head and make Bengals fans feel bad. Hey, Tim Krumrie's not walking through that door, Queen City! I don't really have a great read on either of these teams. Both are 1-1, both have beaten what I would consider mediocre at best football teams (Seahawks? Really?) and both teams have QBs who have not proven themselves on the NFL stage. Bengals are at home, so that may be where I should lean, however I keep holding out that Niners are at least very decent. NINERS 21-17

PATRIOTS @ BILLS (+9): Mark this as the first test for the upstart 2011 Buffalo Bills. You gotta love their moxie that's for darned sure, but I think the spread says about all you need to know about what most people think of the 2-0 start. I'd be very surprised if Orchard Park ain't rockin like an LA Guns concert for this one. The concern for the Bills, has to be that the Raiders put up a bunch of points on them and the Raiders were without their top three wideouts. Jason Campbell is not Tom Brady. There's also the fact the Pats have one like 87 of the last 88 meetings against the Williams, or something like that. But hey, if the energy from everyone rooting on the Bills (which is everyone outside of Patriot Planet) is actual power the Bills are sittin in butter! PATRIOTS 28-20

TEXANS @ SAINTS (-4): This matchup intrigues me. Everyone is high on the Texans to win the AFC South and it's tough to argue, with Peyton Manning gone, but there's just that little voice in the back of my head saying, "Texans will never make the leap to the next level!" Well if you wanna prove you're ready to make that leap, Houston, here's your chance. Legitimately the Saints could be 2-0, but Sean Payton's hubris may have prevented that from happening. Judging by how the Saints manhandled the Bears in week two, it could be a long afternoon for the Schaub. SAINTS 38-21

GIANTS @ EAGLES (-6): The Eagles offense could really undergo quite a "metamorphasis" this week if Kafka is at QB. Yeah, I went there! And others may have used this, but I had to have been one of the first as I tweeted this on Sunday night when he entered the game (its @WillieMoe if you wanna check and also don't wanna miss out on my Sunday football tweets that get less and less relevant with each passing beer)! Anyway, Andy reid says he has full confidence in Kafka if he has to run the offense. In fact he said he should have let him loose a little more on Sunday night. And Andy Reid continues to be one of the worstest in-game managers. On the other side of the ball you have the G-Men who must have been watching the Emmy's on Sunday, to inspire that great acting on Monday night! Well, I think they were already merely acting as contenders anyway. All signs point to the Iggles winning this one! ALL SIGNS! EAGLES 27-21

DOLPHINS @ BROWNS: (-2.5): The Phins are 0-2 and I think only Tony Sparano is the only one surprised by this. This could very well be the week they break into the win column, since the Brownies have not been overly impressive. May have to break out my Browns Jon Jurcovic jersey though and if that happens, well, all bets are off. BROWNS 23-17

BRONCOS @ TITANS (-7): I think we're more likely to see the Titans we saw in week two than the Titans we saw in week one. And hey Chris Johnson, my fantasy team is dying a slow death, so if you wanna go ahead and , I dunno, actually earn that big contract you held out for anytime soon, it would be greatly appreciated! TITANS 24-14

LIONS @ VIKINGS (+3.5): Well everyone's sleeper pick (which I guess doesn't really make them a sleeper pick anymore, does it?), the Lions, has started 2-0. Now sure you can't really say they've been tested (who have they played, Bill?), but at the same time, can you honestly say the Vikings are a test, the way they've played? Hardly. While Leslie Frazier still has confidence in Donovan McNabb, I feel Minnesota fans may not share this view, if they even still do, after week three. LIONS 31-21

JAGUARS @ PANTHERS (-3.5): These two squads are cosmically linked, having come into the league at the same time. They also both went to, and lost, their first respective conference Championship games for the first time, in the same year. Well Sunday they both start rookie QBs, as the similarities continue, and yet stop here. Figgy Newton has been throwing up ridiculous numbers thus far, while Blaine Gabbert is making his first NFL start. I don't know much about Gabbert, except the general consensus is he could not possible be worse than Luke McCown, which is a ringing endorsement if ever I heard one. And I have. Heard a ringing endorsement. Sorry 'bout that. The only way for the Jags to win is to hope MJD runs wild and they can keep Cam Newton off the field as much as possible. May be too tall of a task. PANTHERS 28-17

CHIEFS @ CHARGERS (-14.5): The spread would only seems large if the Chieves hadn't been beaten twice by 30 or more points. Plus, as mentioned earlier, Jamaal Charles is out for the season. I almost never pick someone to cover this kind of spread in the NFL, but I'm gonna go with the masses. CHARGERS 80-10

JETS @ RAIDERS (+3.5): And the tests just keep on comin' for the Jets. The Raiders are a mystery to me, but the Jets, I am still assuming, are pretty good. At least good enough to shut down Jason Campbell and whomever he has at receiver on Sunday. JETS 27-14

RAVENS @ RAMS (+3.5): Not quite sure what happen to Baltimore in week two, but I would wager a guess it is not likely to happen again this season. At least not in St. Louis in week three. RAVENS 31-13

FALCONS @ BUCCANEERS (-1.5): Matty Ice and company should have some good swagger coming into week three after a big primetime win against Philly last week. On the other side is Josh Freeman and the Buccaneers. I am unsure if either is somewhat good or not. I like Josh Freeman, but I think the Falcons pull this one out. I'm actually kind of surprised the Bucs are favored here. FALCONS 16-10

CARDINALS @ SEAHAWKS (+3.5): Winner of "the game I probably care least about" this week. Congratulations guys! CARDINALS 24-12

PACKERS @ BEARS (+3.5): Maybe the game of the week if, unlike me, you believe in Jay Cutler. But regardless of my feelings towards Cutler and the Bears, the skirmishes between these two teams do seem to end up being pretty close. Now I'm not saying I believe in the Bears here, but something tells me they pull off the "upset" on Sunday night. Possibly in overtime? BEARS 27-24

STEELERS @ COLTS (+10.5): I'm sure ESPN and NBC were just super happy when they found out Peyton Manning may be done for the season, since America can't get enough of Kerry Collins. NOT! ("NOT" joke's for you Hoff!) . Maybe by some sort of sheer luck the Colts stay close in this one, but really does anyone think that? If it happens it will certainly be some sort of prime time, Monday Night Football, Buffalo Wild Wings puling the strings, magical thing. STEELERS 25-11

So, there ya have it! My insightful thoughts on week three in the NFL! And now your cheese:

WEEK TWO: THE KITNA'S SPEECH

Welcome back for week two in the NFL. Week one was full of ups, downs and whathaveyous, for darned sure! To recap, I called the Chiefs not covering, but not them getting blown out by the Williams, told you there'd be plenty of time for Romo bashing and the QB gave us plenty of fresh material, announcers want the Falcons and Steelers to remain calm (as if they were gonna give up after one week), Figgy Newton had a ridonkulous debut, Tom Brady threw for roughly a tenth of mile on Monday night, the Broncos played the Raiders (or so I am told), CBS and FOX refused to cut from blowouts to switch to relevant games, the Monsters of the Midway were good, the Manningless Colts were not, the Steelers got thrown around like rag dolls in Baltimore and oh yeah, ESPN added an extra (more like extraneous, am I right) hour of blowhards for NFL pregame! Now on to week two!

BEARS @SAINTS (-6.5): Well I said the Bears had a good chance of an upset last week against the Dirty Birds, but I am not sure anyone quite saw the thumping they doled out on Matty Ice and company. Offensively the Saints came out firing and were pretty good, but the Packers defense may have also still had some rust on it in week one, which the Bears D certainly did not. As you may or may not know, I have never been sold on Jay Cutler, but the Bears D is most likely for real and that could spell trouble for N'awlins. BEARS 24-21

CHIEFS @ LIONS: (-8.5): I didn't quite call the Bills win, but I did know they would be at least close and the Chiefs were highly overrated. I would hazard a guess that the Lions offense is slightly better than that of the Bills, but time is gonna tell on that one. I don't trust the Chiefs as far as I can thrown them (and with my bad back I shouldn't be throwing anything), so look for the Chiefs to get a big dose of Megatron! LIONS 28-17

JAGUARS @ JETS (-9.5): The Jets were more or less handed a win on a silver platter in week one, so I am not too impressed with them, but the Jaguars have Luke McCown at QB. JETS 19-3

RAIDERS @ BILLS (-3.5): Circle the wagons, folks! The Williams really took it to the Chefs in week one, which surprised a good portion of people. And let's face it, it's darn hard to root against those Williams in those strikingly awesome uniforms. Although I will concur with my buddy Jables and say blue pants would have been better, but they were still pretty darned outstanding! Having watched very little of the Raiders game, being passed out half way through the first quarter, I really only know they won in a close one. I like Fitzy and Stevie Johnson to hook up on a big second half touchdown to secure the victory....BILLS 24-16

CARDINALS @ REDSKINS (-4): Are the Redskins for real or the Giants just really banged up and or not that good? While I think the Giants are overrated and the Redskins are more pretenders than contenders, the Cardinals gave up over 400 passing yards....to a rookie....in his first NFL game ever. Sure, maybe Cam Newton is great (I'm still not sold), but over 4oo yards throwing? Enter Sexy Rexy......'SKINS 27-20

RAVENS @ TITANS (+6): Well, I thought the Titans would easily dominate the Jags in week one and they did not, but it urns out the spread was dead on. If it were a handful of other teams the Titans were facing in week two, I'd see them bouncing back in a big way, but even with more CJ this week, the Ravens are, well, ravenous and seem to be on a mission! RAVENS 28-17

SEAHAWKS @ STEELERS (-14.5): Can't say I envy the Seahawks in this one. Heading into the the Ketchup Packet for the Steelers home opener a week after they got absolutely manhandled by the hated Ravens? This could get ugly. If the Steelers don't win this one, and in solid fashion, the Steel city will have their collective hands hovering over the proverbial panic button. STEELERS 28-10

PACKERS @ PANTHERS (+9.5): Cam "Fig" Newton's week one performance does move the Panthers a level or two above the dung heap I originally had them in, but I have a hunch with a look at week one film and some extra rest, the Packers defense will be looking to prove themselves in this one. PACKERS 35-14

BUCCANEERS @ VIKINGS (-3): Sure the Vikings lost their opener, but they held their own and clearly did not warrant the eight and half point underdog status, I didn't think. The Bucs on the other hand got a big dose of Megatron and with know Optimus, or Maximus, Prime in the secondary that was all out trouble! I'm pulling for the Bucs this season, sort of, but they are a bit unimpressive, in my eyes.....VIKINGS 25-12

BROWNS @ COLTS (+2.5): Breakout the Colt 45s, it's Colt vs. Colts in the Billy Dee Williams Bowl! Sure the Colts were without Peyton Manning on Sunday for the first time in quite some time, but the thing is, Peyton doesn't play defense! Now sure, with Peyton they keep that Texans offense off the field a little more, but still. Peyton's absence is a bit psychological as well, me thinks, and the Colts need to move on and get going. I still don't have a great read on the Brownies this year, so I am picking the Colts in what will be considered a mild upset. COLTS 24-20

COWBOYS @ 49ERS (+3): This matchup used to be a classic heated rivalry of NFC powerhouses that I wouldn't watch and now it's just a less meaningful game that I won't watch. I kid, but not really. I feel like the Cowboys and the Romosexual will right the ship (delaying Kitna's 2011 debut another week) so to speak and emerge victorious! COWBOYS 23-17

TEXANS @ DOLPHINS (+3): Well, let's see the Phins gave up a crap ton of passing yards on Monday night, and while Matt "Stump the" Schaub is no Tom Brady, he has been known to do some slingin' himself! Also, this week's random fact: Miami's City Manager's name is Tony Crapp, Jr. I'm not even kidding, see for yourself- ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami ). I'm guessing he's the mayor's number two? TEXANS 31-20

CHARGERS @ PATRIOTS (-7): This one is a head scratcher of a pick for me. The Chargers did not bowl me over with a ton of confidence in week one, but they're certainly very decent. I'm going out on a limb and saying Brady with his "lubed up (translated: hydrated)" fans cheering him on will not, I repeat, NOT, eclipse 500 yards passing in week two. I also feel like the Bolts will hang around in this one for awhile, but in the end will falter. PATRIOTS 31-21

BENGALS @ BRONCOS (-4.5): This one depends completely on if it's Andy Dalton or B-Grad helming the Bengals offense. Actually, it really doesn't. Broncos 22-16

EAGLES @ FALCONS (+2.5): This one is for the birds! HAHAHAHAH! Birds! Get it?! Both teams have bird names! Pretty sure I'm the first to use that! Alright, enough of that nonsense. Both these teams need to get some better games from their O-lines, and as such this could be the difference in Vick Bowl. So this is more or less a toss up in my book, so I'm going with the hometown team. FALCONS 28-24

RAMS @ GIANTS (-5): When the MNF schedule was revealed for the season, I thought this was an awful choice, because the G-Men were far better than the Rams. Now, I think this is a bad choice because both teams are kind of disppointing, but it could be a close, not good, but close, game. The Rams lost like, every, skill postion player last week, so look for Cleveland Gary to get a bulk of the carries, and Flipper Anderson to be Jim "don't call me Chris" Everett's top target. GIANTS 16-6

That wraps up week two's picks, hope you enjoyed! If you didn't well, too bad. If you have a question for the Bitterness Mailbag, please submit it in the comments section and we'll be sure to read it, probably. And now, of course, your cheese

WEEK ONE: WATCH YOUR BACK ROMO!

Are you ready for some football? How about some new "Bitterness" posts?! That's right ladies and gentlemen (and knowing my readership, I use the term gentlemen lightly) football season is upon us and "Bitterness" is back, baby! After not making picks for most of last season, we're back with a vengeance, a VENGEANCE I tell ya! The season preview post may come out this weekend, but don't hold your breath. Unless you are Jets HC Rex Ryan, then by all means, please, hold your breath! But, for a quick rundown here are my quick picks for the season:

Division Winners:


Patriots, Steelers, Titans, Chargers, Eagles, Falcons, Packers, and who even cares/ 49ers


Wild Cards, Bitches!:


Ravens, Jets, Saints, Cowboys

AFC Champs: Patriots
NFC Champs: Falcons


Super Bowl Champs: Patriots

MVP: Aaron Rodgers


Offensive Players of the Year

NFC- Rodgers

AFC- Brady (I have no idea why not)

Defensive Players of the Year

NFC- Lawrence Taylor

AFC- Joe Klecko

And that's all I've got right now, I know I jumped out on some limbs here, but whatever, I'm rarely right, so you stick that in your pipe and smoke it, or something.

Alas, without furthe adieu, here are the week one picks, enjoy!

NEW ORLEANS @ GREEN BAY (-4): An epic opening night clash of titans (not to be confused with the Titans)! This battle between the last two NFC, and more importantly Super Bowl Champs, should be a real humdinger, to say the least. Aaron Rodgers was sort of decent last year and while I don't think they will repeat as either the NFC or Super Bowl Champs, A-Rodg and the Cheeseheads will still be a force to be reckoned with, I, um, reckon. But let's be honest folks, I think the big question on everyone's mind is will I wear my Saints Aaron Brooks jersey or my Russ Verba Packers jersey for the game? That's gonna be a game time decision, I think. PACKERS 27-21

COLTS @ TEXANS (-9): Well it's official, Peyton Manning will not start this game and that's all you need to know. I know this is all you need to know, because this is about all I have heard about this game. The most interesting thing, to me, about Peyton missing a game, is the just utter awfulness of some of the backup QBs in the league. I mean, the Colts had to sign one because they had no faith in any of the backups on their roster! And not just anyone, Kerry "Frickin" Collins of all people (See ecstatic Kerry below after getting "the call". Confidence inspring to say the least)! Just off the top of your head, right now, how many backup QBs do you think are competent enough to sucessfully run an offense? Six? Seven? Granted, they are backups and should never have to set foot on the field during a game, unless their team is up by 30 points, down by 30 points or if that team's jokester punter tosses their clipboard on the field, but still, C'MON! Wait, what was I talking about? Colts-Texans? Um, TEXANS 31-24 (that's 8 Colt FGs BTW!)

PITTSBURGH @ BALTIMORE (-2.5): This has all the makings of a slobberknocker, I think. This is pretty much a coin flip game, I'd say, with the Ravens only being favored cause they are at home. This is just one of those things. The Steelers just find ways to win against the Ravens. Well, unless the Ravens borrow those outlandish helmets the Terrapins donned this past weekend, I think the Steelers pull it out (that's what she said!). STEELERS 17-13


DETROIT @ TAMPA BAY (-1.5): Like many of the games this opening weekend, this one is kind of a tough call for me, mostly because I know relatively little about what these two squads did in the off- or preseason. I'm goin with the Buccaneers, for no other reason than they had a better record last year. At least I think they did, which is pretty much good enough, right? BUCS 21-17.

ATLANTA (-3) @ CHICAGO: I don't think Da Bears are that good, but what the heck do I know, really? That's a rhetorical questions sports fans, so button it! While I really feel the Falcons could very well win the NFC, I have a hunch this will be a rough game where the Bears out play them and get a gutsy win. This will, in turn, cause the Bears bandwagon to gain early, yet pretty much unwarranted, momentum. BEARS 23-21

BUFFALO @ KANSAS CITY (-6): Kansas City could be really good or extraordinarily mediocre. The Bills, are, well, the Bills. At some point, something's gotta gove, right? Right?! I mean they got a Hahavahd QB, how could that possibly go awry? Fitzy does have a cannon, this is for sure, but cannons don't win championships, they win wars...in the 19th century. Anyway, I think most people are just wondering how much the Chefs will win by and I'm here to tell ya it won't be a lot. CHIEFS 13-10

PHILADELPHIA (-5) @ ST.LOUIS: The Eagles are expected to have an explosive offense this year and I would tend to agree with those expectations. The only people out there who think the Rams will win this game are the Rams, their families and Cleveland Gary and even some of them are unsure. They could, COULD, cover the spread, but I just don't see it happening. Iggles 38-21

CINCINNATI @ CLEVELAND (-6.5): At one point, one of these teams will live up to the preseason hype bestowed upon them. Good news is, this year neither team has any sort of hype, so there's really only one way to go (I'll give you a hint, it ain't down) for both squads. One of these teams will most likely be undefeated after this game, sittin' tied atop the AFC North with the Steelers- Ravens victor, so they got that goin' for 'em, which is nice. The Bengals have Andy Dalton at QB. Andy Dalton? Really?! This is the kid on whom's shoulder you have hung your offense, Cincy? Yikes. To be fair, I know very little about Andy Dalton, other than he has a very unitimdating name (sounds like he may try and sell ya real estate) and did not look good in the only preseason footage I saw of him. Even as I write this, with my lack of research, I am not 100% sure Andy is even his actual first name. Browns 17-10


TENNESSEE @ JACKSONVILLE (-2): Okay, so I am not exactly sure why the Jaguars are favored in this game, but again, with my lack of research I may very well find out, come Sunday. Now I am not sure how the eschewing of the Garrard plays into this spread, but with Luke McCown at the helm, well, they might as well have Cade McNown starting, am I right people? Plus the spreads guys realize Chris Johnson will play a little, right? Sure he missed a bunch of preseason whathaveyous, but I think and hope (he's my RB1 in my Fantasy Football League) he fares okay. TITANS 27-17


NEW YORK GIANTS (-3) @ WASHINGTON: I can't say I have a ton of faith in the Redskins, who would pobably be six, or seven, point dogs if this were in the Meadowlands (yeah, can't remember the name of their new stadium) or anywhere else on Earth (probably the solar system, if you wanna go down that path of literal shenanigans). GIANTS 31-13


CAROLINA @ ARIZONA (-7): Not sure about Kevin Kolb running the offense or Beanie Wells as the featured back, but Carolina is, well, just not good, I don't think. CARDINALS 24-16

SEATTLE @ SAN FRANCISCO (-5.5): Remember that time the Seahawks made the playoffs with a losing record? I'm sure the Giants, who went 10-6 but did not make the playoffs, sure do! Remember when the 49ers were a preseason favorite to win the NFC West? Yeah, 2010 was a weird and awful year out in the NFC West. It's definitely conceivable that no one in the division finishes over .500 for the second year in row. Has that ever happened in the 8 division format? In the six division format? Well, here's to another season of futility in the NFC West! NINERS 16-9


MINNESOTA @ SAN DIEGO (-8.5): Are the Vikings supposed to be really bad or are the Chargers supposed to be really good? Cuz I gotta tell ya, I didn't think either until I saw this spread. I mean, the Bolts should be good, but have the Vikings really dropped off that much? They still have Adrian Petersen, right? This may one of those games where I think the spread is outrageous and then once the game concludes I'll be thinking, "OHHHHHH, that's why!" But for now I'm not sold on a Bolts blowout. CHARGERS 28-27

DALLAS @ JETS (-4.5): Kinda wishing neither team wins this one. Rex Ryan has been somewhat quiet, which is interesting, to say the very least. TheCowboys have just seemed to continuously underachieve year after year (which I am all for) and I don't see why this year is any different. Now, say what you will about Tony Romo, the guy did put up decent numbers when healthy. Don't get me wrong I am no fan of TR, but he has been solid for the most part. Now that, that's out of the way I can go back to making fun of him every other week of the season. JETS 31-21


NEW ENGLAND (-7) @ MIAMI: There's just something about this that screams upset. I mean on paper, there's really no way Miami should be in this game at all, but I just have a hunch the Pats will come out flat. Let's face it, they don't always play superbly opening on Monday night. Remember that Buffalo debacle? Leodis McKelvin might. PATRIOTS 27-21

OAKLAND @ DENVER (-3): Remember that Bronco bandwagon everyone jumped on last year? I forget, in what round of the playoffs did they get beat? Uh huh. Anyway, it's another Monday night doubleheader to open the season , which means another west coast game. Has Oakland played in all but one of these since they added the second game? I feel like they're always on the MNF opener for reasons I cannot explain. Well, actually, I'm guessing the reason they don't put, say, a Vikings-Chargers game on is because they know at least half the country's not watching the whole game anyway. I never do, that's for sure! But if it was a marquee game, would I stay up? It's a whole chicken and the egg thing I guess. BRONCOS 42-38

Well, there you have it, your "Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch Week One Picks", hope you enjoyed and if you didn't, well, I don't care.

And now, your cheese:

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: TO BE YOUNG

On this day in 1944, Joe Nuxhall signed with the Cincinnati Reds and the age very young age of 15.

Now, even to this day it is not uncommon for high school kids to sign with an MLB squad, but at 15? That is still pretty much unheard of, even in this day an age! In fact when Joey Nux took the hill for 2/3 of in inning in June of that year he became, and still is, the youngest player ever to appear in a Major League Baseball game at the age of 15 years and 316 days! This appearance was due in large part to a player shortage during WWII and he would not be called upon again until 1952, but nevertheless still impressive! He wasn't even old enough to drive for pete sake! I mean what were you doing at that age? Obviously, it wasn't pitching to major league hitters in a real live major league game!

"I was pitching against seventh-, eighth-, and ninth- graders, kids 13 and 14 years old.....All of a sudden I look up and there's Stan Musial and the likes. It was a very scary situation."- Joe Nuxhall

Joe Nuxhall is also one of my favorite baseball names ever and that's a fact!

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: BABE, BUT NOT THE ONE YOU THINK

Today's baseball fact of the day is about the Babe, but, as you may have gathered from the title of this post, not the one that is probably in your mind. You see it was on this day in 1937 that the Babe went from the Red Sox to the Yankees. Babe Dahlgren that is. Dahlren was purchased by the Yankees from the Red Sox, making him the second Babe to go from the Sox to the Yankees. But of course this is not what makes Dahlgren a bit of baseball trivia. No, no, no what makes him trivial, or whatever, is he the man who played in Lou Gehrig's spot in the lineup when the Iron Horse finally took a day off after playing 2130 consecutive games.

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY

For today's fact of the day, since we are not that far removed from the Grammys and the Academy Awards are not far off, I thought today's fact should be about none other than former Angels owner, and entertainer extraordinaire, Gene Autry.

Autry is the only celebrity to have five stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and was also the first person to have a certified gold record. So, the fact of the day is Gene Autry is the only person with a certified gold record or star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to have a number retired by a Major League Baseball team!

That is, of course, until Wilson Betemit shows off his all his talents!

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: VALENTINE'S DAY

Bobby Valentine's most memorable game as a manager occurred on June 9, 1999. In the 12th inning of a 14 inning marathon with the Toronto Blue Jays, Mike Piazza was called for catcher's interference on Craig Grebeck. Valentine was ejected by home plate umpire Randy Marsh for arguing the call, and returned to the dugout an inning later in a disguise (a fake moustache). Unamused, Major League Baseball fined Valentine $5,000 and suspended him for three games. The Mets went on to win the game 4-3

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: A LITTLE BIT MOORE

On February 13, 1954, Donnie Moore is born. Of course Moore is best known for his performance in Game 5 of the 1986 ALCS. The Angels were up three games to one in the best-of-seven series against the Red Sox. The Angels held a 5-2 lead going into the ninth inning, when Boston scored two runs on a home run by Don Baylor and cut the lead to 5-4.

The Angels brought in their closer, Moore, to shut down the rally. There were two outs and a runner on first and the Angels were one strike away from advancing to the World Series for the first time ever. But then all of a sudden Hendu (Dave Henderson) hit a 2-2 pitch off of Moore for a home run, giving the Red Sox a 6-5 lead.

What most don't remember is the Angels were able to score a run in the bottom of the ninth, pushing the game into extra innings. Moore stayed in the game and was able to stifle a 10^th inning Red Sox rally. The Sox, however were able to score off Moore in the 11th inning on a sac fly by Hendu and the Angels would end up losing the game 7-6.

The Angels were still up 3-2, but were trounced in games 6 and 7 in Boston. Much like Bill Buckner would become forever linked to, and unfairly blamed for, the Red Sox loss in the World Series that year, so was Moore linked to the Angels not winning the pennant.

For the next 2 years, every time Moore walked onto the field, the Angels fans booed him. They were relentless, and it wore on Moore.

Less then three years after Game 5, on July 18, 1989, during an argument with his wife Tonya, Moore shot her three times, the incident occurring in view of their three children. Tonya and their daughter Demetria, then 17 years of age, fled from the house and Demetria drove her mother to the hospital. Both survived the shooting.

Back inside the house, still in the presence of one of his sons, tragically, Moore then fatally shot himself.

"While it is easy to say that had Moore recorded the save, his life would have been much better and probably much longer, it is just as easy to say that the one pitch the Times describes was far from the only factor in his eventual death."- Steve Hostetter

While Game Five and the way the fans would go on to treat Moore certainly contributed somewhat to his eventual suicide, there were clearly other things going on as well. Still, makes you think about the emotional toll your boos can take on professional athletes.

Donnie Moore

February 13, 1954- July 18, 1989

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: MACK ATTACK

On this day in 1930 Cornelius McGillicuddy, aka Connie Mack is awarded the prestigious Edward W. Bok Prize, that recognizes distinguished Philadelphians for their achievements in education, industry, law, politics, science, medicine, philosophy, and the creative arts. Good ol' Connie won the award after guiding the Philadelphia A's to a world championship, becoming the first (and looks like the last) Philadelphian sports figure to receive what is now known as the Philadelphia Award.

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: R.I.P. CHUCK TANNER

Today's random baseball fact if the day will honor Chuck Tanner, who passed away today. Of course for a baseball fan, such as myself growing up in the 80s, Tanner is best known as the skipper of many a hapless Braves team. He managed some Braves greats from my childhood- Horner, Murphy, Hubbard, Garber, Assenmacher, Mahler, Oberkfell, Virgil, etcetera, etcetera. Of course rabid baseball fans may also know that he also helmed the 1979 World Champion "We Are Family" Pittsburgh Pirates. This was of course the last championship for the Buccos. BUT, our random Chuck Tanner fact is (drum roll).......

Before the 1977 season, the A's were in the process of trading off many of their stars of the great team that won three straight championships from 1972-74. They traded Chuck Tanner's services to the Pittsburgh Pirates for an aging Manny Sanguillen. This was only the second instance in Major League Baseball history that a manager was part of a baseball trade.

You were a wonderful man Chuck Tanner, rest in peace!

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: CUPID THE SPIDER

On this day in 1891, four days before Valentine's Day, the Boston Reds trade Cupid Childs to the Cleveland Spiders.

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY: BANISHED BALLS

On this day in 1920, Major League Baseball banished the shineball













the spitball











the disco ball












the pinball











the foil ball











the monster's ball













the moth ball












the grease ball












and all other doctored pitches.

PUMPSIE UP THE JAM

On this day in 1956 the Red Sox purchased the contract of Elijah "Pumpsie" Green, making him the first black player for the Olde Towne Team

This signing meant every team in Major League Baseball was now integrated. The BoSox were, as many know, the last team to integrate their roster. After a fast start in Spring Training "Pumpsie" was sent down to the minors when his productivity began to decline.

The NAACP (if they are for the advancement of colored people, maybe they should change the name to include something more politically correct than "colored people") quickly charged the Sox with following an anti-Negro policy. The Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination (suggestions to change this to Massachusettsans Against Discrimination, so they could be M.A.D., was never taken seriously) agreed the Red Sox were following anti-Negro policy.

The current Red Sox ownership has tried to shed the "racist" label that has been affixed to the franchise for, well, the history of the team. They have admitted that past owners and front office muckety-mucks were highly racist and even honored "Pumpsie" at a Sox home game.

Despite these efforts there are still those who believe the Sox and Boston are both very racist. The most notable and recent person to sate this publicly was none other than Barry Bonds. Um, Barry, they didn't want you because you're an arrogant a-hole, not because of your skin color. What has to really hurt the older members of Red Sox Nation is the Sawx passed on both Jackie Robinson and Willie Mays. Ouch.

RANDOM BASEBALL FACT OF THE DAY

Well, now that the NFL season has ended, it's time to turn my attention to baseball! Well, at least until march Madness gets here. So, starting today I present to you the "Random Baseball Fact of the Day". Yes from here until this blogs ceases to exist, or until I get bored or lazy, there will be a "Random Baseball Fact of the Day!"

Today's "Random Baseball Fact of the Day is- On this day in 1949, Joltin' Joe Dimaggio became the first player to sign an annual contract of $100,000!


60 years later, in 2009, the average Major League Baseball player's salary was $2,999, 106 and the league minimum, yes minimum, was $400,000.

Based on the general increase of the median salary of the American male since 1950, the Yankee Clipper would be making $1, 537, 315 today. Obviously this is completely ridiculous, since this is far, far removed from the upper echelon of today's MLB salaries and would put him in the same MLB salary bracket as Greg Zaun, Oscar Villareal and Macier Izturis.

Dimaggio would most certainly be one of the highest paid players in the game, since the MLB salary is rising about 23 times faster than than that of the rest of America. It is tough to factor, but if Joe was currently in his heyday his salary would most assuredly be in A-Rod territory.

SOUPER BOWL FOUR

APPETIZERS

CHAD NACHO-CINCO- A heaping helping of nachos, topped with 85 different toppings including pizza! I know, PIZZA?! Now that's what I call nachos!

OLINDO "FRIED CALI" MARE- Fried calamari served with salt, lemon and a delicious Wellington Mara-nara sauce

RYAN MOATS-ARELLA STIX- Fried cheese goodness, with a side of that same old Wellington Mara-nara sauce for dipping!

DAVID QUESA-DIEHL-A- Chicken or steak grilled up and sandwiched in a flour or wheat tortilla with shredded cheese, peppers, onions, sour cream and pico de gallo.

BRIAN ORAKPO-TATO SKINS- Potato skins topped with sour cream, bacon, scallions and of course a large dose of cheddar and monterey jack cheeses!

VINCE ON-YOUNG RINGS- Onions fried to such a golden perfection that they will have you scrambling to grab some before they're all gone!

BUFFALO-GAN MANKINS WINGS- Stout and manly wings served BBQ, hot or inferno! Served with celery and blue cheese!

SPINACH ARTI-FOLK DIP- This is a dip with some kick! Served with pita triangles and chips for dipping!

CHARLIE LOADED FRYES- A pile of fries, covered in three, count 'em, three, cheeses as well as bacon and scallions! Served with a big, nay, SUPER bowl of Deion Branch dressing!

SOUPS AND SALADS

KEN T-AMATO SOUP

CHANNING CLAM CHOWDER

HARVEY CHICKEN NOO-DAHL

KARLOS DANS-BEEF STEW

JOHN CHILI CON CARNEY

KEVIN KOLB SALAD

ADAM CEASAR-CHULETA

RICHARD GAR-DENT SALAD

SANDWICHES AND BURGERS
All sandwiches and burgers served with a pickle and fries or chips.

MARION BARBER-CUE CHICKEN SANDWICH- A burger fit for a cowboy! Two grilled chicken breasts, smothered in Barber-cue sauce, topped with cheddar cheese and bacon all on a toasted wheat bun.

GEORGE B.L.-TEAGUE- A bacon, lettuce and tomato triple decker on white or wheat toast!

KEN HAMLIN CHEESE MELT- Ham and swiss grilled and delicious.

DAN KOP-PANINI- The biggest panini you have ever seen! Turkey, ham, cheddar and swiss, melted together in grilled panini wnoderment!

THE REU-BEN ROETHLISBERGER- A big ol' pile of corned beef, topped with sauerkraut, Swiss cheese and Russian dressing on rye!

MATT TRIPLE CHEESE BIRK-ER- Three half pound beef patties topped wit cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion!

KERRY RHODES-EO BURGER- Two half pound all beef patties, with barbecue sauce, cheddar cheese, bacon and onion rings!

ENTREES

JOHN "BABY" BECK RIBS- Succulent, smothered in BBQ sauce, fall off the bone goodness! Served with Trent Cole slaw and cornbread!

ATARI-YAKI CHICKEN BIGBY- A chicken breast grilled in a delicious Atari-aki sauce served with a side of rice and mixed veggies.


JON CHICKEN CORTO BLEU- Breaded chicken stuffed with ham and swiss cheese!

STEAKS
All steaks served with mashed potatoes, green beans and a side salad.

JOEY PORTER-HOUSE- A 49 oz. piece of meat nirvana!

KEITH RIB-BYERS- A large strip of steak goodness!

BRIAN PRIME ROBISKIE- The primest of rib!

AKIN FIL-AYODELE MIGNON- A big, big piece of fine steak!

PASTA

RIGA-TONY GONZALEZ

SCOTT SHANLE-SAGNA- Six layers of pasta, cheese and meat! This saintly pasta dish, sure packs one heck of a wallop!

JEREMY MAC-LIN AND CHEESE- Baked mac 'n' cheese, just like mom used to make!

SPAGHETTI AND JACOB TAMME-TBALLS- A traditional pasta favorite, these are some spicy-a meat-a-balls!

LARRY FOOTE-UCINI ALFREDO- Fettucini tossed with parmesan cheese and butter, creating a delicious and creamy delight!

KEN HAMLIN-GUINI AND CLAM SAUCE- A somewhat spicy pasta dish served with tomato sauce and cooked clams!

DESSERTS

BERNARD BLUE-BERRIAN PIE

KEYARON FOX LIME PIE

LEMON MERIN-GAY PIE

LEGEDU BROW-NAANEE SUN-DAE