Friday, September 19, 2014


Well, judging by success picking games in week two, I am getting none the wiser as this NFL season progresses. Put in a solid 5-11 record, which is not at all good, and even worse than last week. To be fair, I don't think a lot of folks saw the Bears or Chargers upending the NFC West superpowers, the Cowboys looking like an actual NFL team, or the Browns making Drew Brees look like Drew Barrymore throwing the ball out there, right? Granted that doesn't count for the rest of my stupidity, but it is a start. While I may lose, I like to think I do it with flair and if you disagree, please keep it to yourself, alright?

Chargers (+2.5) at Bills- Oh boy. This is one where you have to decide what to believe thus far in 2014. The Bills are 2-0, but it is it legit? The Chargers beat the "unbeatable" Seahawks on Sunday, is that something that will carry over? Tough to say if I believe in either thing, but what I do know, is I have many a friend who is a Bills fan and now that we are out of the K-Gun early 90s, I have no ill will towards them. But knowing a lot of Bills fans, I know that the Bills are big on building up modicums of hope, before ripping the metaphoric rug out from under their loyal fans. The Bills are kind of like Lucy from Peanuts, holding the ball for poor, sad sack, Charlie Brown who will represents the Bills fandom. They always seem to have that glimpse of hope, that this time the ball will stay held for them to kick, only to have it snatched away from them at the last second, leaving them flat on their backs.

I don't know that I trust E.J. Manuel, yet and I think the Bills may be halfway decent, but the Chargers have won two of three at the Ralph, so I think it's an "AAUGH!" game for the Billsies. Chargers 24-21

Cowboys (-1) at Rams- While it is possible I overstated how bad the Cowboys are this season, I like to think that's not true. That being said the Rams have scored the fewest points in the NFL even after torching the Buccaneers for a whopping 19 points, last Sunday. Apropos of nothing, this is the Rams first game against a team with a .500 or better record, this season. In fact it is their first game against a team that already has a victory this season. The Rams one win is against the Buccaneers which frankly doesn't strike me as overly impressive, at this point in the season. Austin Davis fared okay, last week and, not that I am saying the Cowboys defense is good (cause it's not) or anything, but I think he stumbles a bit this week. Cowboys 23-17

Redskins (+6.5) at Eagles- The Kirk Cousins era has begun in Washington! Well, maybe not, but Cousins sure looked good after the 'Skins lost RG III (what are the odds?) in the first quarter against Jacksonville. Yes, yes, I realize, it was Jacksonville that he lit up, but nevertheless. Well, the thing is, the Eagles also played the Jaguars and one, but by less, so, utilizing my notes from Statistics 101,by transitive property, the Redskins are slightly better than the Eagles, right? Math doesn't lie, right? Well, maybe not quite, but I think this is a shootout where the home team takes it! Eagles 38-34

Texans (-2) at Giants- Look, I am not sure yet, just how good the Texans really are, but I am pretty sure how bad the Giants are and, well, they are pretty bad. On the plus side, we are getting all sorts of new Eli faces, shrugs, flails, etc!

Not to be too hard on Eli though, his supporting cast is hardly helping out. I can't imagine the Eli faces are reduced any against JJ Watt and the Texans this week. Texans 24-9

Vikings (+10) at Saints- At some point the Saints will be really, really, ridiculously good looking,  on the football field, right?

Perhaps, and while I think they will win this one home teams favored by six or more points this season are 2-7. Not good odds, but the Saints should come marching in with a big ol' sense of urgency this week. Saints 28-21

Titans (+7) at Bengals- So, remember that stat about the home teams cover spreads of six or more this season? 2-7, thus far. But, the Bengals more than covered that five and a half point spread last week against the Falcons. I kind of like the Titans as a sleeper team this season and they looked like the were sleeping last week as Demarco Murray ripped on through them. With Bernard and Jeremy Hill pounding the ball in week three, even the possible absence of A.J. Green shouldn't stop the Bengals from getting the victory. Bengals 27-17

Ravens (-1.5) at Browns- The Browns don't quit and they are making things real exciting for Browns fans, in 2014. The Browns are likable and are not embarrassing themselves out there, so that's something, for sure. Brian Hoyer is becoming a good game manager, I think? I am entirely sure how to tell, alright, but he has been leading the Brownies fairly well. I wouldn't really call this my upset special since the spread is so minuscule, but I like the Brownies to over take the Ravens in this one. Browns 28-27

Lions (-2.5) vs. Packers- The Packers are definitely going to be winning high scoring games. Packers, your defense is suspect.

Yeah, you! The Packers are not tough on the run. I mean, at all. It's only two weeks in, I understand, but they are giving up an average of 176.5 rushing yards per game, for crying out loud! That, however, is good news for Reggie Bush and Joique Bell. Both teams have decent offenses, but the Lions kind of have a better defense, which gives them the slight edge, in this battle. Lions 27-21

Colts (-7) at Jaguars- There was such promise in Jacksonville....for like 30 minutes of game time. The Jaguars were up 14-0 after eight minutes and ten seconds of their season, and carried a 17-0 lead into halftime of their opener at Philly. Life was good, the Jaguars were no longer looking like the laughing stock of the NFL, and then, well, then it all fell apart. 17-0 through 30 minutes of their regular season followed by being outscored 75-10 over the next 90 minutes of football. That's a bit more like it, I guess? I did think the Jags would actually show some signs of life this season and they very well still could do that again. That being said, I think the Colts take this battle of winless teams, with "Luck Face" sightings being few and far between. Colts 31-21

Patriots (-14) vs Raiders- Ya know what the Patriots did last week in Minnesota? Yea, it'll be sort of like that. Patriots 31-7

49ers (-3) at Arizona- I thought the Niners would handle their business pretty well on Sunday night against the Bears, but guess what? That didn't happen. Colin Kaepernick was turning the ball over all the live long day and the Bears came away with the victory. As much as I would love to see that happen again, I don't think it will. I like the Cardinals, but I think the Niners will be able to fluster Drew Stanton a bit more than the Giants could. 49ers 27-20

Seahawks (-5) vs. Denver- Well, we get ourselves a rare rematch of the previous year's Super Bowl. This is only the fifth time such an event has occurred, so we're all part of history. The last time it happened was in 1997 when the Packers played the Patriots the year after beating them in the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl loser is 2-3 in these regular season matchups and the home teams are 3-2, so nothing really to take away from that, but the only team to have a rematch after a drubbing similar to the one the Broncos were subjected to last winter, was the Buffalo Bills. The following season the Bills marched into Dallas in week two and beat the Cowboys 13-10. I think there is little or no takeaways from this information and I just don't think the Broncos match up well enough against the 'Hawks in Seattle. Seahawks 28-21

Dolphins (-4) vs. Chiefs- The Chiefs were just plain unimpressive in the opener against the Titans, but then hung in there against the Denver. The Chiefs were even knocking on the door and close to tying that game, late. The Chiefs had trouble finishing drives in Denver and you can't leave points on the field, especially against Peyton Manning and the Broncos. I actually think this one is somewhat evenly matched, but I think I just need the Chiefs to prove something to me, before I go picking them. Dolphins 21-14

Panthers (-3.5) vs. Steelers- The Steelers are kind of reeling. I mean they kind of their own little Jaguars syndrome going on, right now. After one half of play, against the Browns, the Steelers had a 27-3 lead. 27-3! Over the next 90 minutes of football? Well, they've been, outscored 50-9. That is not a typo, kids. Well, that's just, well, awful may be an understatement. Do you think the cure for that is going on the road to face a Panthers defense that is number five in total defense in this young season? Yeah, me neither. Panthers 28-9

Jets (-3) vs. Bears- Poor ol' Matt Forte steps in against another tough rush defense. I think you know my opinion on Jay Cutler and if you don't, well my opinion, is I don't trust him. But I think he will be able to have a big night in the Meadowlands on Monday, as long as Marshall and Jeffery are ready to go. I may, may, be picking this one with my gut and not my head, but hey, my gut is right about 63% of the time, unofficially.

Alight, you get outta here, now, ya crazy kids, you!

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