Tuesday, September 30, 2014


The title of this post sort of says it all, doesn't it? If only I could truly blame my five week four fantasy football losses. I am sure I am not the only one who rolled with the trendy fantasy football thrower, Mr. Cousins, in week four, but maybe I'm in the minority of collective fantasy ninnies on this one. Whether or not you were completely on board with the Cousins Coup or not, I am guessing most did not expect the numbers Cousins put up on Thursday night against the Giants. The only week four starting quarterback who put up worse fantasy numbers was Nick Foles (who I happened to start in another league, but we can table that one).

Now Foles faced the Niners defense, but still. I mean, Derek Carr scored more fantasy points and his replacement, yes replacement, Matt McGloin almost, almost, had more points than Cousins in week four. Whitehurst, Fitzpatrick, and Glennon all had more points than Cousins.  

Like I said, no matter how much you were buying into the hype, against the Giants weak secondary, you figured Cousins would be serviceable. Well you, like myself, were sorely mistaken. This was the starter I went with to try and stop my team from going winless while Andy Dalton was on a bye. I drafted RG III, if you're wondering how these options even came to be. Now interceptions are not necessarily the death knell in fantasy football. Usually you lose a point or two, but that is easily overcome by TD passes or even a buttload (yes a buttload) of yards. So, I watched. I held onto hope. That is what my fantasy season has become. Sitting there, watching football, not reading the signs, grasping at straws. This night was still salvageable, though. I mean as the deficit increased, the Skins would have to pass more, and pass they did...unfortunately. Unfortunately, because that really went nowhere, because while an interception will not hurt you too much, throwing four freaking interceptions certainly will.   

In one league I streamed Josh McCown in week three on Thursday night, after losing RG III (yeah I stupidly put a lot of my eggs in RG III's basket, he's my fantasy kryptonite..let's move on) and that was actually a worse performance by fantasy standards. In back-to-back weeks I have had a quarterback score less than four fantasy points. Only five of the 26 placekickers, PLACEKICKERS, scored fewer points in week four than Kirk Cousins. For whatever reason, I continue to subject myself to this weekly torment and irrational anxiety attacks that come with trying to make a winning lineup. It sucks me in for several hours a week and is supposed to, supposed to, provide a pleasant distraction from the rigors of my every day life. In reality, it is just making me more miserable by the week. Well, on that upbeat note, here are some more fantasy football thoughts, not that you should necessarily listen too them.

  • Justin Forsett should put up decent numbers in week five. How do I know this? Well, I dropped him in a league where I am 0-4 and am now pulling a Costanza.
  • Speaking of idiotic things I've done this season...picking up Roy Helu, Jr., then dropping him before the Thursday night game where he would have grabbed me 11.10 points (My new team name is now Helu Darkness My Old Friend) was just genius.
  • Instead I played a hunch on the Ravens backup tight end/ H-back (even as I typed that I couldn't believe it), the superstar that is Kyle Juszczyk (who?).
  • I like Jerrick Mckinnon more than Matt Asiata. There I said it!
  • You can buy low on Tom Brady. I don't recommend it, just stating a fact.
  • Not entirely sure how projections are created, but Cordarelle Patterson has missed his projections, and by a good 10-12 points, in all but one week. I may have to bench him to get him to score some points.
  • I was actually sort of right about Teddy Bridgewater having a good day...which is why I had him backing up Bortles (surprisingly I have somehow won a game in that league).
  • Bortles should be decent, but if you're forced to start him right now, may want to reevaluate.
  • Denard Robinson is gonna do some things...as soon as Toby Gerhart stops getting so many touches! Which is probably real far off, what with Gerhart's 2.65 YPC and all.
  • I'd probably sell high on Steve Smith, Sr.
  • Oh good, James White looked good for the Pats...that's bound to cut into Ridley and Vereen's touches, somehow...stupid Belichik.
  • What a surprise, Cecil Shorts III is hurt... Allen Hurns time?
  • Well, looks like Eli could still be viable. Drat.
  • Get on Darrin Reaves...not sure if he'll be good, but he'll get the ball so, ya know, that's something. If he gets hurt, though, well....it's anyone's guess.
  • DeSean Jackson could be one of the most frustrating owns in fantasy football this season, although I'm sure there are plenty of other candidates...cough, Tom Brady, cough.
  • Eddie Lacy breaks out this week....maybe.
  • Nice pass at the end of the 1st half Jay Cutler....you owe me two touchdowns.
  • Travis Kelce = beast
  • This week's byes are almost as bad as last week, I mean whatever will we do without the Dolphins and Raid....hahahah, ahhh, I couldn't even finish the sentence.
Well, that's all I got, here's hoping you have better luck (skill?) than me! 

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