Academy Award Corrections: On the Sixes
10 years ago
Saturday, August 19, 2006
We've come a long way baby!
Well it's hard to believe that in just a few short weeks " Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch" will be two years old. My blogs growsed up and it's gorwsed up. Now sure ther have been ups, downs and of course some what-have-yous, but we've persevered and together we have made this, what I consider to be a slightly above average blog. When it started there were no pictures or links, because I had no idea how any of that worked as I am not the most computer savvy person on the planet. Don't get me wrong, I'm plenty savvy, but when it comes to the old com-pu-ter, I can be a dunce at times. Like when it asks me what application I want to use to open a certain program. That's a question I just don't have the answer to. But now I'm rambling, although some might say my whole blog is just a lot of rambling, and they'd be right, circle gets the square! Anyways, I digress. It just so happens that the big numero dos coincides with the opening weekend of the NFL. Which means my very first blog EVER was an NFL preview. Now you may be saying to yourself, "well he's obviously segueing into a preview of the upcoming football season, right?" Well you would be correct in a way. you see over the next couple weeks, we here at "Bitterness" will be goin' retro. You see over the next few weeks we will be offering up some, what I like to call "Bitterness" Classic. We will be giving you the top ten favs of the "Bitterness" staff, starting with the innagaural venture, taking you all the way back to September 9th, year of our lord 2004, I present to you.... "I Know Nothing About the NFL."
Sunday, August 13, 2006
IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME!
Well I'm back in the blogging saddle again, as it were. Now you're probably wondering what has happened to the once great, or at least, in some minds, better than average, blog that is Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch. Well I can't really pinpoint what has kept me out of the whole blogging community. I needed a break, fresh material, a new, certain, how the Fench say, "I do not know what. I started feeling like "Bitterness" was becoming "Mediocreness" and I didn't feel like I was giving 110%, even though is in impossibility to give 100%, cause by definition that is the most anyone can give. I had hit a metaphorical wall. "Bitterness" was stale, stagnant and other such adjectives synonomous with being stagnant and stale. You see, I'm wordy, I'm not a talker, but I'm wordy. I say that to say this, vis-a-vis the following-I would rarely blog unless I had at least a page worth of material, anything else was just not up to snuff. I mean I would labor. Pouring blood, sweat and tears into each and every post. Okay that's not actually true, but it sounds great don't it? Anyways, somehow, somewhere I got away from that. So, I needed a hiatus. I needed to let those good 'ol creative juices flow, which CAN and will get messy. I needed to step away from the whole blogging community. Until this past Friday I had not even read the blogs of my comrades in about three weeks, because I just needed to clear my mind. So, you may be asking your computer screen, "Why now?" And it is a good question. Was it Mel Gibson being drunk and disorderly and blaming the Jews for all the worlds problems? Was it the baseball playoff races heating up and my beloved BoSawx scrathing and clawing for a playoff spot? Was it my fantasy baseball teams? Was it the NFL getting back into swing? Was it Ricky Bobby? Was it Lance Bass coming out of the closet? Well, in a way it was all of the above (I know that last question is not above, but rather over to the left, but don;t be a wisenheimer). But really it was cause I just felt it. And as my blogging mentor and hetero-lifemate often says, "Don't force it." So I didn't I just waited to let it come to me and as I'm typing I don't even have a gameplan, I'm just typing and typing. Now I thought of just coming back with my good 'ol standby, The Mailbag, but I felt like I needed to have some sort of transition back inot this whole thing. Now I'm not saying there won't be a new mailbag opened in the near future, just not now. So to sum up, I apologize for walking out on you, without anty notice or warning, but I needed to find my blogging self. I know it will take some time to forgive me, but I feel we can get what we had back. Rest assured it was not you it was me. And over time, hopefully we can reconcile and you can take me back. Let's make America great again folks! And now for something completely different:
If you don't teach little Timmy what to do when he sees a Yankee, who will???
If you don't teach little Timmy what to do when he sees a Yankee, who will???
Friday, June 23, 2006
Gangin Up On the Sun
Well my favorite band Guster, released their new album on Tuesday a day in which the also performed the National Anthem at Fenway Pahk before the Sawx-Nationals game. Now even if you don't like their music, give these a watch because they'll probably make you laugh, cry or just say what the eff?! Some of these may not play straight through at first, I dunno. They played fine and then would not, so we'll see:
This is their actual video for their new tune,"One Man Wrecking Machine, starring a chicken nugget:
This is a video someone decided to make for the new Guster song "Manifest Destiny". I also liked that it was posted on YouTube by BunnieLebowski. I like the song. The video on the other hand, ehh:
And here one from back in the day of a little ditty called "Fa Fa". The band themselves are very embarassed by it and you'll see why. I dig the jean jackets and Ryan's crazy jew locks. Oh and the lead girl, Ione Skye? Best known for Say Anything and lesser know as Mrs. Veal on Arrested Development:
And for you football fans someone set some Texas/Rice footie ball highlights to the tune of "Happier". Doesn't make a lot of sense, much like paper beating rock? My favorite highlight though is when Rice tries to run the option. You'll see:
And finally a classic cover:
Their rendition of "Add it Up" was much better, and I believe they performed that one with the Femmes themselves, but I haven't been able to track it down yet.
So for now, so long, so long and I will be back soon!
This is their actual video for their new tune,"One Man Wrecking Machine, starring a chicken nugget:
This is a video someone decided to make for the new Guster song "Manifest Destiny". I also liked that it was posted on YouTube by BunnieLebowski. I like the song. The video on the other hand, ehh:
And here one from back in the day of a little ditty called "Fa Fa". The band themselves are very embarassed by it and you'll see why. I dig the jean jackets and Ryan's crazy jew locks. Oh and the lead girl, Ione Skye? Best known for Say Anything and lesser know as Mrs. Veal on Arrested Development:
And for you football fans someone set some Texas/Rice footie ball highlights to the tune of "Happier". Doesn't make a lot of sense, much like paper beating rock? My favorite highlight though is when Rice tries to run the option. You'll see:
And finally a classic cover:
Their rendition of "Add it Up" was much better, and I believe they performed that one with the Femmes themselves, but I haven't been able to track it down yet.
So for now, so long, so long and I will be back soon!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
THE GRIM-SLEY REAPER
Ahhhh scandal! The real national pasttime. And what better way to celebrate our 73rd blog entry than by delving into the Major League Baseball performance enhancer 
debacle. You see, for those of you who do not know, Jason Grimsley, a mediocre journeyman middle reliever, has admitted to using and distributing Human Growth Hormones well as naming names of other ballplayers that have illegally enhanced their performance. Now this has brought up a couple of issues. Firstly there is currently no legitimate testing for HGH and b.) with Grimsley's confession it is now apparent that we need to look, not only at the superstars but at the average joe just looking to prolong a mediocre career, making himself just good enough to keep on an MLB roster. For a Grimsley it was a matter of going from the being the next Darrel Akerfelds to being the next Dan Petry. But until names get released, we are left to merely speculate. So here at "Bitterness" that's exactly what we're gonna do. So here are a few guys that you might not have suspected of illegally enhancing their performances.
ERIC PLUNK
Plunk was a a mediocre reliever for several years. In 1991 his E.RA was 4.76 and in 1992 it went down 3.64. But in 1993 Plunk's E.RA sunk to 2.79. In the year's to follow he posted E.RA's of 2.54, 2.67, and 2.43. What could have caused such a drastic change in performance. Well from 1993-1995 Plunk was on the Tribe with one Jason Grimsley. After the 1995 season Grimsley left the Indians, and for one more season Plunk was darn good, which can only mean that Plunk had the wherewithal to get a year's supply of HGH for the season to follow Grimsley's departure, because in 1997 now a whole season removed from Grimsley, Plunk's E.RA soared to a whopping 4.66. The saddest thing is that Plunk's show "Plunked" will probably never air.
SHAWN BOSKIE
Boskie never really amounted to much in the bigs, with a career E.RA of just over 5. But in 1996 Boskie played with the one and only Jason Grimsley. Now this is a little harder to notice, but in '96 Boskie's E.RA dropped .32 from the previous season. Hmmm. But where you really see the difference is he had a career high in strikeouts. He averaged .7 strikeouts per inning as opposed to his previous season's .45 strikeouts per inning. Interesting?? Grimsley was only in Cali for a year, and following season, Boskie managed to make only 9 starts and proceeded to end his career in the minors. Probably Boskie took a good hard look at himself in the mirror and realized that he could not continue to cheat now that the devil on his shoulder , Grimsley, was gone, even if meant, more or less the end of Boskie's career and any chance of his family reality show "Who's the Boskie?". Which coincidently is how Yakov Smirnoff pronounced the Tony Danza vehicle "Who's the Boss?"
KEN HARVEY
In the year of our Lord 2001, Ken Harvey was called up to the Royals squad. Playing in 4 games, batting .250 with no homeruns. He then headed back to the minors, untill we would again be called up in 2003 where he would cross paths with Mr. Grimsley. Over the next two seasons Harvey walloped 26 homeruns and batted around .275. But in 2004 Grimsley was on his way to Baltimore and Harvey's career went south. In '05 without Grimsley Harvey managed only 45 ABs for a .222 average and a mere one homerun. and if the numbers don't tell the whole story look at these before and after pictures of good 'ol Ken Harvey.
Here is the strapping Ken harvey of 2004:
Now here's a picture of him getting in some extra batting practice off the tee in 2002:
The proof is in the pudding my friends! And now you know....the rest of the story.
debacle. You see, for those of you who do not know, Jason Grimsley, a mediocre journeyman middle reliever, has admitted to using and distributing Human Growth Hormones well as naming names of other ballplayers that have illegally enhanced their performance. Now this has brought up a couple of issues. Firstly there is currently no legitimate testing for HGH and b.) with Grimsley's confession it is now apparent that we need to look, not only at the superstars but at the average joe just looking to prolong a mediocre career, making himself just good enough to keep on an MLB roster. For a Grimsley it was a matter of going from the being the next Darrel Akerfelds to being the next Dan Petry. But until names get released, we are left to merely speculate. So here at "Bitterness" that's exactly what we're gonna do. So here are a few guys that you might not have suspected of illegally enhancing their performances.ERIC PLUNK
Plunk was a a mediocre reliever for several years. In 1991 his E.RA was 4.76 and in 1992 it went down 3.64. But in 1993 Plunk's E.RA sunk to 2.79. In the year's to follow he posted E.RA's of 2.54, 2.67, and 2.43. What could have caused such a drastic change in performance. Well from 1993-1995 Plunk was on the Tribe with one Jason Grimsley. After the 1995 season Grimsley left the Indians, and for one more season Plunk was darn good, which can only mean that Plunk had the wherewithal to get a year's supply of HGH for the season to follow Grimsley's departure, because in 1997 now a whole season removed from Grimsley, Plunk's E.RA soared to a whopping 4.66. The saddest thing is that Plunk's show "Plunked" will probably never air.SHAWN BOSKIE
Boskie never really amounted to much in the bigs, with a career E.RA of just over 5. But in 1996 Boskie played with the one and only Jason Grimsley. Now this is a little harder to notice, but in '96 Boskie's E.RA dropped .32 from the previous season. Hmmm. But where you really see the difference is he had a career high in strikeouts. He averaged .7 strikeouts per inning as opposed to his previous season's .45 strikeouts per inning. Interesting?? Grimsley was only in Cali for a year, and following season, Boskie managed to make only 9 starts and proceeded to end his career in the minors. Probably Boskie took a good hard look at himself in the mirror and realized that he could not continue to cheat now that the devil on his shoulder , Grimsley, was gone, even if meant, more or less the end of Boskie's career and any chance of his family reality show "Who's the Boskie?". Which coincidently is how Yakov Smirnoff pronounced the Tony Danza vehicle "Who's the Boss?"KEN HARVEY
In the year of our Lord 2001, Ken Harvey was called up to the Royals squad. Playing in 4 games, batting .250 with no homeruns. He then headed back to the minors, untill we would again be called up in 2003 where he would cross paths with Mr. Grimsley. Over the next two seasons Harvey walloped 26 homeruns and batted around .275. But in 2004 Grimsley was on his way to Baltimore and Harvey's career went south. In '05 without Grimsley Harvey managed only 45 ABs for a .222 average and a mere one homerun. and if the numbers don't tell the whole story look at these before and after pictures of good 'ol Ken Harvey.
Here is the strapping Ken harvey of 2004:
Now here's a picture of him getting in some extra batting practice off the tee in 2002:
The proof is in the pudding my friends! And now you know....the rest of the story.
Monday, June 05, 2006
DRIVE ME CRAZY!
So I happened upon this article that claims the "dumbest" drivers in America are in the Northeast. Now I take a little bit of an issue with this a bit as just about all of my driving has been in the Northeast. I'm from Massachusetts and now live in New York and while I will admit there are quite a few idiots behind the wheel, I think dumbest is a bit harsh. This article was based on actual state licensing exams containing 20 questions. Now the thing is
, I know for a fact that Boston and NYC drivers tend to be a tad bit more aggressive (see for yourself, to your right) and the way you actually drive after you have your license is probably not "by the book". This study revealed that one in eleven licensed drivers in the northeast would fail the test (scoring under 70). I'm sure people just answered the questions based on what they do and not what their high school driver's education guide says. For example, one question asked the correct way to get from the far left lane to the far right lane o
n a four lane highway. Now the correct answer is to take it one lane at a time, but one option is to carefully go all the way over all at once. Now I think we all know, that if we have the chance, we're taking it all in one quick swoop, am I right? But then again, I suppose it is "dumb" to not answer the way you think they want you to respond. The state with the highest scores? Well that would be Oregon, which is where my good friend Tim has decided to start a family. Sound like you picked some safe roads take the fam on. But remember Tim, you'll always be a Masshole! Anyways, I'm glad to say I got an 80. How'd you do?
, I know for a fact that Boston and NYC drivers tend to be a tad bit more aggressive (see for yourself, to your right) and the way you actually drive after you have your license is probably not "by the book". This study revealed that one in eleven licensed drivers in the northeast would fail the test (scoring under 70). I'm sure people just answered the questions based on what they do and not what their high school driver's education guide says. For example, one question asked the correct way to get from the far left lane to the far right lane o
n a four lane highway. Now the correct answer is to take it one lane at a time, but one option is to carefully go all the way over all at once. Now I think we all know, that if we have the chance, we're taking it all in one quick swoop, am I right? But then again, I suppose it is "dumb" to not answer the way you think they want you to respond. The state with the highest scores? Well that would be Oregon, which is where my good friend Tim has decided to start a family. Sound like you picked some safe roads take the fam on. But remember Tim, you'll always be a Masshole! Anyways, I'm glad to say I got an 80. How'd you do?
Friday, June 02, 2006
SAY CHEESE!
Apparently ESPN missed out on a pretty big event this week, whilst they were out covering the US Paintball Championships. That's right folks, it was the annual cheese rolling in Gloucestershire, England. The jist of the event is that, they roll a 7lb. Double Gloucester cheese wheel down a hill and people run after it! Yep. those crazy Brits have done it again folks. There are four races or "heats" and the winner of each gets to keep the cheese! Now that's a gouda time! Unfortunately there were no Swiss winners as they had too many holes in their gameplan.
Monday, May 29, 2006
DEAR ESPN,
What the "F" happened to you??!! I mean seriously. Your "product" been on a steady decline for years. I mean you are the worldwide leader in sports, ACT LIKE IT FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!! You had the sports television market cornered, there was no where else to go for quality sports programming. Then comes FOX Sports networks, and you got all panicky, "Sweet grandmother's spatula, they have Tom Arnold, we'd better retool and reformat!" 
Yes as intimidating as Tom Arnold is, he was married to Roseanne after all, I think you would survive. But no, you decided it was time to reinvent yourself. The thing of it is FOX Sports was good for regional market coverage and people would still watch ESPN. I mean reformatting yourself is like commercials for milk. I mean who were those ads targeting, people unaware of the existence of milk? But I digress. You tweeked everything from Sportscenter to your overall programming, trying to tap into the latest fads every chance you got.
You just had to get into the reality TV craze, after I begged you not too! I mean your makeshift Amazing Race/ Road Rules type show, the name of which I have omitted from my memory, was painful to watch (I couldn't sit through one whole episode). "Dream Job" an American Idol for sports reporters/ anchors was a train wreck! The judges w
ere, well, god awful, and no one wants to watch the guys who aren't good enough. I mean one of the judges was Kit from the very first Road Rules and of course ESPN2's Cold Pizza. I mean, honestly , is there something in the water in Bristol? Or is there a bunch of monkeys with typewriters running things? How 'bout Knight School, or following any team through the Life and whatnot. Do I honestly want to watch overpaid jocks and what they do everyday? No, I do not. And now you're as buddy, buddy with Barry Bonds as Bush is with Exxon!
Now take away the fact that he more than likely took steroids, he has the personality and prescence of a door. And not a fancy door, with a knocker and such, just a plain rectangle of wood with a knob, hooked to frame by some hinges. Bonds on Bonds, really. Was Bill Belichik not available? And seriously if I have to watch one more frickin Tim Kurkijan
package on Bonds accomplishments I may throw something! Not to mention this crap about watching every Bonds at bat until he finally broke Ruth's record (for second place mind you)! Many don't care at all, because Bonds is an A-S-S! and everyone knows it. So, ESPN, why are you trying to make us like him? Why are you using 20 minutes of a Baseball Tonight (probably a 42 minute show after commercials) to show Bonds' postagme press conference, highlights from his past, what he ate for breakfast, the kid who caught the ball, etc. WE KNOW he has hit a lot of homeruns, but I tune in for proper analysis and highlights of baseball, not too sit and watch half a show on one player. How 'bout some balanced reporting? Bonds doesn't even play everyday, just lingering around to pass Ruth. It's something of pathetic how ESPN turns away from the whole steroid thing and persistently shoves Bonds greatness down our throats. This is not you ESPN! You are supposed to be my pure, wholesome locale for sports news, events and highlights. Ah yes, news and highlights.
Sportscenter was the place where I would look to get all my latest sports info. I would watch two, sometimes three or four of the exact same one, in a row! Now I can barely stomach one. I used to be able to name all the Sportscenter anchors, and now I only no the ones who are mentioned by name on an ESPN commercial (the commercials are still funny) or are mentioned on Deadspin. What has caused this change you ask? Well "Plays of the Week" are long gone, replaced by the Ultimate Highlight Reel (which in essence is the same thing, but sleeker and shinier for the hip-hop generation, yuck!). I miss the clever lead in by Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick, "On this week's edition of "Plays of the Week" you won't find Steve Trout, Kevin Bass or Catfish Hunter. Also not appearring: Jim Walewander, the Miami Dolphins or Steve Lake. And the the little Plays of the Week theme music, "PLAYS (organ) ... OF (organ) ... THEWEEK (ORGAN!!!). It was great! I always looked forward to the Sunday night Sportcenter, my friend Tim and I even watched it on a projector screen in his dorm room once. But that's another story for another time. I don't think they even
do the Ultimate Highlight Reel anymore. The last time I watched it, Chris "You're with me Leather" Berman just showed his top ten plays. Not at once, mind you, but separated, so five were in the front half of the show and last five in the back half of the show. Don't even get me started on Berman, that's a whole nother blog for a whole nother time. But I will talk about the Sportscenter anchors.
The anchors these days from what I can tell are not very good. Some of there catchy calls, don't even make sense. I do enjoy Scott Van Pelt's Tenacious D references, but most of the others are just plain awful and boom goes the dyanmite! They just spout out random lines from poop culture at, what seems like, idavertent times. They're not very creative, except for maybe Neil Everett. Some of my old favorites:
"Put the biscuit in the basket."
"Gianluca Pagliuca, Gianluca Pagliuca"
"I'm not sure what the pitch was, but it tastes like chicken!"
"Behold the power of cheese!"
"Bring me the finest meats and cheeses..."
"It's deep and I don't think it's playable!"
"The WHIiiiffff."
"Nothing but the bottom of the net"
"The hardest thing to do, hit a baseball"
I could go on and on, but I won't, because there are a lot more points of bitterness to hit here.
Now what is the deal with the Budweiser Hot Seat??!! First off, BUDWEISER?! Seriously?! I gotta feel that someother beer could been sponsoring this! Perhaps Miller High Life, the champagne of beers?? And before I get any nasty comments about neglecting the finer beers in life like Genny Cream Ale, Pabst Blue Ribbon, etc., I will give in to the fact that the sponsor must at least be a well advertised beer, and as far as those go High Life is right up there. But think about the lead in..."and Jon Kitna, back in the High Life again, in the Miller Hot seat!" Huh? Huh? But in all honesty this segment should never exist. It's about as entertaining as 10 Yards with TB on the FOX NFL pregame show. I mean really? What is the point of this, am I supposed to be entertained?
Here's a novel idea gang, show sports! I mean actual sporting events! And have some alternate games at the ready. So when your Baseball game is a game I can watch in my market and gets blacked out, there's another game you can air and not just three hours of ESPN News! And perhaps you could save the Poker, Rodeos and Stro
ngest Man competitions for like one or two in the morning where they belong! Well okay, maybe not Strongest Man, but you get my point. I mean it's Memorial Day and there are about ten afternoon games in Major League Baseball you could pick to show, but what would you rather put on your networks? Oh that's right I forgot the much anticipated Paintball Championships were today as well, so that'll be on for a good several hours on ESPN2 and it's the action packed college baseball selection show is on ESPN at 11:30am followed by the NCAA Men's Lacrosse Championship (that's okay, even though I'm not a big lacrosse fan at least it's sports!), then it's time for poker, Sportscenter, Baseball Tonight, Bonds on Bonds, and more Poker. Good work, I'll be glued to the tube all day! That's sarcasm, by the by. Please, ESPN, look down deep inside and find the old you, the one I knew and loved. In the words of former Sportscenter Anchor Craig Kilborn, "Come on. You're better than that."
Yes as intimidating as Tom Arnold is, he was married to Roseanne after all, I think you would survive. But no, you decided it was time to reinvent yourself. The thing of it is FOX Sports was good for regional market coverage and people would still watch ESPN. I mean reformatting yourself is like commercials for milk. I mean who were those ads targeting, people unaware of the existence of milk? But I digress. You tweeked everything from Sportscenter to your overall programming, trying to tap into the latest fads every chance you got.You just had to get into the reality TV craze, after I begged you not too! I mean your makeshift Amazing Race/ Road Rules type show, the name of which I have omitted from my memory, was painful to watch (I couldn't sit through one whole episode). "Dream Job" an American Idol for sports reporters/ anchors was a train wreck! The judges w
ere, well, god awful, and no one wants to watch the guys who aren't good enough. I mean one of the judges was Kit from the very first Road Rules and of course ESPN2's Cold Pizza. I mean, honestly , is there something in the water in Bristol? Or is there a bunch of monkeys with typewriters running things? How 'bout Knight School, or following any team through the Life and whatnot. Do I honestly want to watch overpaid jocks and what they do everyday? No, I do not. And now you're as buddy, buddy with Barry Bonds as Bush is with Exxon!Now take away the fact that he more than likely took steroids, he has the personality and prescence of a door. And not a fancy door, with a knocker and such, just a plain rectangle of wood with a knob, hooked to frame by some hinges. Bonds on Bonds, really. Was Bill Belichik not available? And seriously if I have to watch one more frickin Tim Kurkijan
package on Bonds accomplishments I may throw something! Not to mention this crap about watching every Bonds at bat until he finally broke Ruth's record (for second place mind you)! Many don't care at all, because Bonds is an A-S-S! and everyone knows it. So, ESPN, why are you trying to make us like him? Why are you using 20 minutes of a Baseball Tonight (probably a 42 minute show after commercials) to show Bonds' postagme press conference, highlights from his past, what he ate for breakfast, the kid who caught the ball, etc. WE KNOW he has hit a lot of homeruns, but I tune in for proper analysis and highlights of baseball, not too sit and watch half a show on one player. How 'bout some balanced reporting? Bonds doesn't even play everyday, just lingering around to pass Ruth. It's something of pathetic how ESPN turns away from the whole steroid thing and persistently shoves Bonds greatness down our throats. This is not you ESPN! You are supposed to be my pure, wholesome locale for sports news, events and highlights. Ah yes, news and highlights.Sportscenter was the place where I would look to get all my latest sports info. I would watch two, sometimes three or four of the exact same one, in a row! Now I can barely stomach one. I used to be able to name all the Sportscenter anchors, and now I only no the ones who are mentioned by name on an ESPN commercial (the commercials are still funny) or are mentioned on Deadspin. What has caused this change you ask? Well "Plays of the Week" are long gone, replaced by the Ultimate Highlight Reel (which in essence is the same thing, but sleeker and shinier for the hip-hop generation, yuck!). I miss the clever lead in by Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick, "On this week's edition of "Plays of the Week" you won't find Steve Trout, Kevin Bass or Catfish Hunter. Also not appearring: Jim Walewander, the Miami Dolphins or Steve Lake. And the the little Plays of the Week theme music, "PLAYS (organ) ... OF (organ) ... THEWEEK (ORGAN!!!). It was great! I always looked forward to the Sunday night Sportcenter, my friend Tim and I even watched it on a projector screen in his dorm room once. But that's another story for another time. I don't think they even
do the Ultimate Highlight Reel anymore. The last time I watched it, Chris "You're with me Leather" Berman just showed his top ten plays. Not at once, mind you, but separated, so five were in the front half of the show and last five in the back half of the show. Don't even get me started on Berman, that's a whole nother blog for a whole nother time. But I will talk about the Sportscenter anchors.The anchors these days from what I can tell are not very good. Some of there catchy calls, don't even make sense. I do enjoy Scott Van Pelt's Tenacious D references, but most of the others are just plain awful and boom goes the dyanmite! They just spout out random lines from poop culture at, what seems like, idavertent times. They're not very creative, except for maybe Neil Everett. Some of my old favorites:
"Put the biscuit in the basket."
"Gianluca Pagliuca, Gianluca Pagliuca"
"I'm not sure what the pitch was, but it tastes like chicken!"
"Behold the power of cheese!"
"Bring me the finest meats and cheeses..."
"It's deep and I don't think it's playable!"
"The WHIiiiffff."
"Nothing but the bottom of the net"
"The hardest thing to do, hit a baseball"
I could go on and on, but I won't, because there are a lot more points of bitterness to hit here.
Now what is the deal with the Budweiser Hot Seat??!! First off, BUDWEISER?! Seriously?! I gotta feel that someother beer could been sponsoring this! Perhaps Miller High Life, the champagne of beers?? And before I get any nasty comments about neglecting the finer beers in life like Genny Cream Ale, Pabst Blue Ribbon, etc., I will give in to the fact that the sponsor must at least be a well advertised beer, and as far as those go High Life is right up there. But think about the lead in..."and Jon Kitna, back in the High Life again, in the Miller Hot seat!" Huh? Huh? But in all honesty this segment should never exist. It's about as entertaining as 10 Yards with TB on the FOX NFL pregame show. I mean really? What is the point of this, am I supposed to be entertained?
Here's a novel idea gang, show sports! I mean actual sporting events! And have some alternate games at the ready. So when your Baseball game is a game I can watch in my market and gets blacked out, there's another game you can air and not just three hours of ESPN News! And perhaps you could save the Poker, Rodeos and Stro
ngest Man competitions for like one or two in the morning where they belong! Well okay, maybe not Strongest Man, but you get my point. I mean it's Memorial Day and there are about ten afternoon games in Major League Baseball you could pick to show, but what would you rather put on your networks? Oh that's right I forgot the much anticipated Paintball Championships were today as well, so that'll be on for a good several hours on ESPN2 and it's the action packed college baseball selection show is on ESPN at 11:30am followed by the NCAA Men's Lacrosse Championship (that's okay, even though I'm not a big lacrosse fan at least it's sports!), then it's time for poker, Sportscenter, Baseball Tonight, Bonds on Bonds, and more Poker. Good work, I'll be glued to the tube all day! That's sarcasm, by the by. Please, ESPN, look down deep inside and find the old you, the one I knew and loved. In the words of former Sportscenter Anchor Craig Kilborn, "Come on. You're better than that."Wednesday, May 24, 2006
YOUR BLOG OF BLOGS
Well May is sweeps month, so we here at Bitterness are looking to win the ratings war. You see Bitterness has Sitemeter, which I recommend for any young up and coming blogger. It allows you to not only count your "hits" but also allows you to see where they are coming from. By location, referral, entry page, etc. Now some I can figure out, but others are from strangers who searched for something on the internet and somehow landed here. For instance people have been directed here by searching for "Glen Davis homo", "Danny Cooksey", and "Shelden Williams Big Head Ken Griffey" just to name a few. So in somewhat of a sociological experiment. I have created a medley featuring some key words and phrases that I think are "hot" search items and will see just how many more hits I get. So awaaaaaay we go:
AMERICAN IDOL, season final
TAYLOR HICKS a croonin, the ladies all a swoonin
SOUL PATROL, SOUL PATROL, SOUL PATROL
KATHARINE MCPHEE, ohhooooooooh so sultry
SIMON COWELL, British scowl
PAULA ABDUL, drunk as a fool
RANDY JACKSON
We've got a hooooooooooooot one!
Hot as the HEAT under the PHEONIX SUN
Or from grinding PISTONS
MAV-ER-ICKS! MAV-ER-ICKS! MAAAVVVVVV-ER-IIIICCCCCCKS
Playoffs, playoffs, playoffs!
HURRICANES headed to BUFFALO downgraded to a tropical storm
Must be GLOBAL WARMING, just asssssssk GORE
SOUL PATROL!
OILERS watch for icebergs or we may see a slick MIGHTY DUCK
As EXXON sleeps with PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH
GAS PRICES soar, our PHONE LINES are tapped
But GEORGE W. LIAR is focused on WETBACKS
ILLEGAL IMMIIIIIIIIIGRANTS!
BONDS ties RUTH, ESPN was there
Cameras in his underwear
I don't care?
BONDS ON BONDS, PUJOLS, BONDS ON BONDS, PUJOLS
SOUL PATROL
Season finales fill the air
Cliffhangers leave us in despair
We bid adieu to WILL AND GRACE
THAT 70S SHOW can't save face
Will Gilligan and the others reeeemaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnn LOST?
SOUL PATROL!
MI:3, DAVINCI CODE, both in theaters now, with X-MEN on it's way
MEMORIAL DAY!
NUDE, NUDE, NUDE CELEBRITIES
SEACREST OUT
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUL PATROL!
AMERICAN IDOL, season final
TAYLOR HICKS a croonin, the ladies all a swoonin
SOUL PATROL, SOUL PATROL, SOUL PATROL
KATHARINE MCPHEE, ohhooooooooh so sultry
SIMON COWELL, British scowl
PAULA ABDUL, drunk as a fool
RANDY JACKSON
We've got a hooooooooooooot one!
Hot as the HEAT under the PHEONIX SUN
Or from grinding PISTONS
MAV-ER-ICKS! MAV-ER-ICKS! MAAAVVVVVV-ER-IIIICCCCCCKS
Playoffs, playoffs, playoffs!
HURRICANES headed to BUFFALO downgraded to a tropical storm
Must be GLOBAL WARMING, just asssssssk GORE
SOUL PATROL!
OILERS watch for icebergs or we may see a slick MIGHTY DUCK
As EXXON sleeps with PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH
GAS PRICES soar, our PHONE LINES are tapped
But GEORGE W. LIAR is focused on WETBACKS
ILLEGAL IMMIIIIIIIIIGRANTS!
BONDS ties RUTH, ESPN was there
Cameras in his underwear
I don't care?
BONDS ON BONDS, PUJOLS, BONDS ON BONDS, PUJOLS
SOUL PATROL
Season finales fill the air
Cliffhangers leave us in despair
We bid adieu to WILL AND GRACE
THAT 70S SHOW can't save face
Will Gilligan and the others reeeemaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnn LOST?
SOUL PATROL!
MI:3, DAVINCI CODE, both in theaters now, with X-MEN on it's way
MEMORIAL DAY!
NUDE, NUDE, NUDE CELEBRITIES
SEACREST OUT
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUL PATROL!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
UNDER THE RADAR!
GIANTS INK LEAK TO 15-DAY CONTRACT
While fans in the Bay Area were ooohing and ahhing over Barry Bonds, they may have missed the biggest signing of all. The Giants signed minor league lifer Kelly Leak to a fifteen day contract. Leak was a budding prospect back in the early 80s, but never really pan
ned out. Bouncing around the minors for what was closing in on thirty years. He took some time off from 2000-2004 to be with his wife of 22 years Amanda and their seven kids. Seen as a risk early on in his career, due to his reckless motorbiking, Leak has settled down and mellowed, but only a bit. At age 42, Leak's still maintains the long flowing hair he did as a child, luckily the style has made somewhat of a comeback. Leak tried out for the Ginats after losing a bet to the high school team he coaches. Well, Leak has got his shot and looks to make the best of his opportunity, but is not expecting too much. But for a little over a fortnight Leak will have his time in the sun. Good luck and godspeed to you Kelly Leak!
While fans in the Bay Area were ooohing and ahhing over Barry Bonds, they may have missed the biggest signing of all. The Giants signed minor league lifer Kelly Leak to a fifteen day contract. Leak was a budding prospect back in the early 80s, but never really pan
ned out. Bouncing around the minors for what was closing in on thirty years. He took some time off from 2000-2004 to be with his wife of 22 years Amanda and their seven kids. Seen as a risk early on in his career, due to his reckless motorbiking, Leak has settled down and mellowed, but only a bit. At age 42, Leak's still maintains the long flowing hair he did as a child, luckily the style has made somewhat of a comeback. Leak tried out for the Ginats after losing a bet to the high school team he coaches. Well, Leak has got his shot and looks to make the best of his opportunity, but is not expecting too much. But for a little over a fortnight Leak will have his time in the sun. Good luck and godspeed to you Kelly Leak!
80S BASEBALL DOES IT AGAIN!
Whenever I've had a bad day, or just plainfeeling down, I turn to 80s baseball!! While these are no Rusty Kuntz, I'm sure they had their fair share of playground ribbing! I do regret to inform that my resources did not allow me to find an 80s picture of Kirt Manwaring? Foiled again!
For those not fluent in the language of love, LaCock is French for "the penis".
Is that of the Savannah Asselstines?
If that's not a gay porn name, I don't know what is?! Why is he smiling like that? Wait a tick, where are his hands???
For those not fluent in the language of love, LaCock is French for "the penis".
Is that of the Savannah Asselstines?
If that's not a gay porn name, I don't know what is?! Why is he smiling like that? Wait a tick, where are his hands???
Sunday, May 21, 2006
KnowWhutIMean?
This weekend the DaVinci Code opened in millions of theaters worldwide. 
The movie is based on the best selling novel by Dan Brown, which tells of secrets or "codes" embedded in the works of Leonardo DaVinci that may uncover the location of the "Holy Grail". DaVinci of course was a famous Rennaisance artist, but he's probably better known as the namnesake for the ninja turtle who had the swords and wore the blue mask (see right). Which got us here at "Bitterness" thinking about what other famous works may hide secrets or "codes" embedded in them? Hmmmm?
So we'll start with one of the greatest artists of all time....Jim Varney and his best creation....Ernest P. Worrell. (Author's note: He did not actually create the character but elevated to levels no one ver imagined.)Now the name Ernest comes from the Germans and means serious or determined. While the name Worrell (yes spelled like the great 80s closer Todd Worrell and the current reliever Tim Worrell, but pronounced differently) is from English, meaning from the true man's manor. So his name literally means serious or determined from a true man's manor or does it??? What does the P. stand for?? There have been many theories as to Ernest's middle name, some wild, some cockamamie, some that were downright flim-flam. Of course we all know of the conspiracies theories that have surrounded the life and times of Ernest P. Worrell. The P. has been in the thick of it all.
After the release of Ernest Goes to Camp, there was widespread speculation that,
due to Native American refernces in the film, the middle name was possibly derived from Native American culture. The first and foremost name that came up was the Hopi name Pahana which means lost white brother. So could his name mean "determined to be the lost white brother of the true man's manor"? Is the true man's manor Heaven? The Playboy mansion? or perhaps just a local Hooters? Or could the P stand for Pay, the Native American name for "He is Coming"? Was Ernest P. Worrell the "second coming" of the Lord? Did his lineage fall in line with Christ? Was he now ready to ascend to the "true man's manor" known as heaven? While his Native American routes were still undetermined, there certainly seemed to be some valid clues as to unlocking this mystery that has plagued generations. And then, a year after he went to camp, he saved Christmas.
Ernest Saves Christmas. In this classic follow-up to his touching movie debut, he, as the title indicates, is charged with saving Christmas. Of course Christmas is one the holiest days of the year in the church. Now the film masks Ernest's holy ties by offering up the commercial holiday and not the religious connotations. Now after this film, it was offered that maybe his middle name was biblical like Peter or Paul, but did nothing to dismiss the religious connotations that would surround Ernest, if ya knowwhudimean? And certainly Ernest's next adventure would only help to uncover the truth.
In the third Ernest movie, Ernest, through a series of whacky events ends up in jail, wh
ere he does not rightfully belong. He is on death row, and through a "miracle" is able to escape when he should have been dead. Sound familiar? Jesus was imprisoned, crucified and through a "miracle" arose again. Now this obvious parallel to the life of the son of God, may give us a hint to Ernest's middle name. The story of the "rock" being rolled away to reveal Jesus' empty tomb could be a hint that his middle name was in fact Peter. Peter was known as "the Rock" long before Dwayne Johnson used it. Could Ernest be the "Rock " of which to start anew, of which to build the new "true man's manor"? Alas after several more Ernest movies, being a Beverly Hillbilly, and voicing several cartoon characters, Jim Varney passed on, taking with him maybe the key to one of the biggest mysteries of our time. But perhaps, Ernest P. Worrell, is similar to Jesus H. Christ. The middle initial is just there for dramatic effect. But perhaps someday we will unearth the true secrets and codes that lie somewhere in the misadventures of Ernest P. Worrell, but for now we'll just sit and wonder or maybe we should go talk to Vern, who in himself may be a mystery even bigger than "Bitterness" itself!
The movie is based on the best selling novel by Dan Brown, which tells of secrets or "codes" embedded in the works of Leonardo DaVinci that may uncover the location of the "Holy Grail". DaVinci of course was a famous Rennaisance artist, but he's probably better known as the namnesake for the ninja turtle who had the swords and wore the blue mask (see right). Which got us here at "Bitterness" thinking about what other famous works may hide secrets or "codes" embedded in them? Hmmmm?
So we'll start with one of the greatest artists of all time....Jim Varney and his best creation....Ernest P. Worrell. (Author's note: He did not actually create the character but elevated to levels no one ver imagined.)Now the name Ernest comes from the Germans and means serious or determined. While the name Worrell (yes spelled like the great 80s closer Todd Worrell and the current reliever Tim Worrell, but pronounced differently) is from English, meaning from the true man's manor. So his name literally means serious or determined from a true man's manor or does it??? What does the P. stand for?? There have been many theories as to Ernest's middle name, some wild, some cockamamie, some that were downright flim-flam. Of course we all know of the conspiracies theories that have surrounded the life and times of Ernest P. Worrell. The P. has been in the thick of it all.After the release of Ernest Goes to Camp, there was widespread speculation that,
due to Native American refernces in the film, the middle name was possibly derived from Native American culture. The first and foremost name that came up was the Hopi name Pahana which means lost white brother. So could his name mean "determined to be the lost white brother of the true man's manor"? Is the true man's manor Heaven? The Playboy mansion? or perhaps just a local Hooters? Or could the P stand for Pay, the Native American name for "He is Coming"? Was Ernest P. Worrell the "second coming" of the Lord? Did his lineage fall in line with Christ? Was he now ready to ascend to the "true man's manor" known as heaven? While his Native American routes were still undetermined, there certainly seemed to be some valid clues as to unlocking this mystery that has plagued generations. And then, a year after he went to camp, he saved Christmas.
Ernest Saves Christmas. In this classic follow-up to his touching movie debut, he, as the title indicates, is charged with saving Christmas. Of course Christmas is one the holiest days of the year in the church. Now the film masks Ernest's holy ties by offering up the commercial holiday and not the religious connotations. Now after this film, it was offered that maybe his middle name was biblical like Peter or Paul, but did nothing to dismiss the religious connotations that would surround Ernest, if ya knowwhudimean? And certainly Ernest's next adventure would only help to uncover the truth.In the third Ernest movie, Ernest, through a series of whacky events ends up in jail, wh
ere he does not rightfully belong. He is on death row, and through a "miracle" is able to escape when he should have been dead. Sound familiar? Jesus was imprisoned, crucified and through a "miracle" arose again. Now this obvious parallel to the life of the son of God, may give us a hint to Ernest's middle name. The story of the "rock" being rolled away to reveal Jesus' empty tomb could be a hint that his middle name was in fact Peter. Peter was known as "the Rock" long before Dwayne Johnson used it. Could Ernest be the "Rock " of which to start anew, of which to build the new "true man's manor"? Alas after several more Ernest movies, being a Beverly Hillbilly, and voicing several cartoon characters, Jim Varney passed on, taking with him maybe the key to one of the biggest mysteries of our time. But perhaps, Ernest P. Worrell, is similar to Jesus H. Christ. The middle initial is just there for dramatic effect. But perhaps someday we will unearth the true secrets and codes that lie somewhere in the misadventures of Ernest P. Worrell, but for now we'll just sit and wonder or maybe we should go talk to Vern, who in himself may be a mystery even bigger than "Bitterness" itself!
Friday, May 05, 2006
HAPPY CINCO DE MAIO!!
....AND HAPPY 39TH BIRTHDAY TO CHARLES NAGY!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY NEWEST BLOG READER; QUINN WILLIAMS CONROY, WHO WILL FROM THIS DAY BE KNOWN AS "Q"!
SON OF MY GOOD FRIEND AND LOCAL OREGON NEWSMAN TIM CONROY,
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH 80s PITCHER TIM CONROY:
CONGRATS TO BOTH TIM CONROYS ON ALL THEY HAVE ACCOMPLISHED AND GODSPEED TO THEM!!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY NEWEST BLOG READER; QUINN WILLIAMS CONROY, WHO WILL FROM THIS DAY BE KNOWN AS "Q"!
SON OF MY GOOD FRIEND AND LOCAL OREGON NEWSMAN TIM CONROY,
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH 80s PITCHER TIM CONROY:
CONGRATS TO BOTH TIM CONROYS ON ALL THEY HAVE ACCOMPLISHED AND GODSPEED TO THEM!!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
I'LL CANDY YOUR MALDONADO
Welcome to my 80s baseball cafe. Now on this menu, you will not find Jim Rice, Steve Trout, Kevin Bass, Candy Maldanado or Chili Davis. Some of theses are stretch, and if you don't like it I say to you, "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAH!", you try and create something!
STARTERS/SIDES:
The Jimmy Key-sadilla: A light flour tortilla, shredded chicken, colby and jack cheeses, peppers and onions. Also available with pulled pork or steak. Much like the former pitcher it's a solid starter that will get the job done.
Chris Speier Ribs: Some succulent spare ribs to get you meal started. These babies are absolutely smothered in our delicious Rick Honeycutt Barbecue sauce, and lip-smackin good!
The Rollie Chicken Fingers: Tender pieces of chicken with your choice of barbecue, honey mustard or ranch sauce for dipping. Kick it up a notch and make it buffalo style!
Oesters on the half shell- Get your meal started with this treasure of the sea. A plate full of oysters to suck down 1-2-3!
Eichhorn Bread: Delicious honey hush corn bread.
Odibeans and rice: What?! It's beans and rice, you need more explantion than that. (To your right)
Danny's Heep of`Nachos: Nachos piled high with refried beans, peppers, onions, shredded cheese, with salsa and sour cream!
SANDWICHES:
The Tuna Jeltz: American, Cheddar, Swiss or Provolone Cheese melted over fresh Tuna fish on your choice of white, wheat or rye bread. Named for the only player to homer from both sides of the plate in a single inning, this will tantalize your taste buds.
Balboni and Cheese: A double decker of thickly sliced German bologna with American cheese, topped with lettuce, tomato and onion and our homeade spicy, golden brown mustard on your choice of white, wheat, or potato bread.
The Winningham and Swiss: Honey baked ham, melted swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato all on toasted wheat bread with a bit of "Herb"s to give it some added pizazz that charcterized the former outfielder.
Hot Petralli Sandwich: Hot pastrami sandwich on Texas toast, topped with swiss cheese, saurkraut, our mystery dressing and a little bit of love!
BURGERS:
All Burgers served with Jeff Fryes
The Sundberger- This Texas style burger features onions, barbecue sauce, jack cheese and bacon. Like good 'ol Jim, you're gonna wanna protect your plate!
The Sandberger- A cheeseburger with mushrooms and onions, exuding class like only Ryno could.
The Bacon Cheese Baerga- Bacon, cheddar, lettuce, tomato on a sesame seed bun. This monster of a burger will make you wanna scream, WAHOOOOO!
The Kelly Gruberger- This is the Blue Jay burger, featuring Canadian Bacon and Blue Cheese. Quite the delicacy from across the border.
PASTAS:
All Pastas served with a slide salad and garlic bread.
Fettucinni Alfredo Griffin: A heeping helping of Fettuccini noodles doused in our creamy Alfredo sauce, blended with some grilled chicken. Like the 80s shortstop it doesn't have a lot of pop, but is very smooth.
Pasqua Primavera: Rotille pasta, blended with chopped broccoli, thinly sliced carrots, ripe tomatoes, onions and sliced meaty bell peppers. Seasoned with oregano, parsley and garlic this dish, like it's namesake is robust and delightful.
Righetti and Meatballs: Thin spaghetti, with thick and hearty tomato sauce topped with big thick meatballs. Like the southpaw it's named for this dish can really get the save....against hunger that is.
Buecheles and Cheese: Delicious pasta shells, stuffed with ricotta cheese, topped with mozzarella cheese and smothered in our thick and hearty tomato sauce. A pasta dish worthy of the hot corner once guarded by it's namesake.
ENTREES:
All entrees served with your choice of potato, salad or soup
Hrbek-Roasted Chicken: An oven-roasted chicken breast, seasoned to perfection with a handful of herbs and spices. A classy and spophisticated dish reminiscent of the former Twins firstbaseman.
Chet Lemon Chicken: A grilled chicken breast marinated in lemon juice and spices. A tantalizing dish, as breathtaking as the former Tigers outfielder himself.
Baby Backman Ribs: Mmmm. Ribs. Succulent baby back ribs, smeared in mouth-watering barbecue sauce, that practically fall off the bone! When these arrive you'll head for the plate, much like the steady second baseman they were named after.
Chicken Pecota: A full breast of grilled chicken topped with lemon juice, capers and a dash of paprika. Unlike it's namesake, this dish hits well above the mendoza line.
DESSERTS:
Pineapple Upside Downs Cake: A delightful dessert topped with real pineapple slices, marashino cherries and a topping made with brown sugar.
Brett Pudding- Old-fashioned bread pudding with raisins, sans the pine tar.
Apple Browne Jerry- A fine treat with apple, bread crumbs, and cinnamon. So delectable you'll wanna scarf it up faster than Jerry could dash from first to home.
Chocolate Tueffel Cake- Deliciously sinful, this chocolate masterpiece is rich and delish!
The Tanana Split- Go Bananas with this one folks! One banana + three scoops of ice cream+chocolate sauce+whipped cream+a cherry on top= Yummy!
Chocolate Bream Pie- A dessert worthy of the mustached first baseman, it's rich, smooth and chocolatey. Topped with whipped cream, mmmmm!
Quisenberry Pie- Fresh picked quisenberries baked into a pie, toppped with whipped cream to close it out!
Hope you enjoyed and look for our breakfast menu coming soon.....
STARTERS/SIDES:
The Jimmy Key-sadilla: A light flour tortilla, shredded chicken, colby and jack cheeses, peppers and onions. Also available with pulled pork or steak. Much like the former pitcher it's a solid starter that will get the job done.Chris Speier Ribs: Some succulent spare ribs to get you meal started. These babies are absolutely smothered in our delicious Rick Honeycutt Barbecue sauce, and lip-smackin good!
The Rollie Chicken Fingers: Tender pieces of chicken with your choice of barbecue, honey mustard or ranch sauce for dipping. Kick it up a notch and make it buffalo style!
Oesters on the half shell- Get your meal started with this treasure of the sea. A plate full of oysters to suck down 1-2-3!
Eichhorn Bread: Delicious honey hush corn bread.
Odibeans and rice: What?! It's beans and rice, you need more explantion than that. (To your right)
Danny's Heep of`Nachos: Nachos piled high with refried beans, peppers, onions, shredded cheese, with salsa and sour cream!
SANDWICHES:
The Tuna Jeltz: American, Cheddar, Swiss or Provolone Cheese melted over fresh Tuna fish on your choice of white, wheat or rye bread. Named for the only player to homer from both sides of the plate in a single inning, this will tantalize your taste buds.
Balboni and Cheese: A double decker of thickly sliced German bologna with American cheese, topped with lettuce, tomato and onion and our homeade spicy, golden brown mustard on your choice of white, wheat, or potato bread.
The Winningham and Swiss: Honey baked ham, melted swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato all on toasted wheat bread with a bit of "Herb"s to give it some added pizazz that charcterized the former outfielder.
Hot Petralli Sandwich: Hot pastrami sandwich on Texas toast, topped with swiss cheese, saurkraut, our mystery dressing and a little bit of love!
BURGERS:
All Burgers served with Jeff Fryes
The Sundberger- This Texas style burger features onions, barbecue sauce, jack cheese and bacon. Like good 'ol Jim, you're gonna wanna protect your plate!
The Sandberger- A cheeseburger with mushrooms and onions, exuding class like only Ryno could.
The Bacon Cheese Baerga- Bacon, cheddar, lettuce, tomato on a sesame seed bun. This monster of a burger will make you wanna scream, WAHOOOOO!
The Kelly Gruberger- This is the Blue Jay burger, featuring Canadian Bacon and Blue Cheese. Quite the delicacy from across the border.
PASTAS:
All Pastas served with a slide salad and garlic bread.
Fettucinni Alfredo Griffin: A heeping helping of Fettuccini noodles doused in our creamy Alfredo sauce, blended with some grilled chicken. Like the 80s shortstop it doesn't have a lot of pop, but is very smooth.
Pasqua Primavera: Rotille pasta, blended with chopped broccoli, thinly sliced carrots, ripe tomatoes, onions and sliced meaty bell peppers. Seasoned with oregano, parsley and garlic this dish, like it's namesake is robust and delightful.Righetti and Meatballs: Thin spaghetti, with thick and hearty tomato sauce topped with big thick meatballs. Like the southpaw it's named for this dish can really get the save....against hunger that is.
Buecheles and Cheese: Delicious pasta shells, stuffed with ricotta cheese, topped with mozzarella cheese and smothered in our thick and hearty tomato sauce. A pasta dish worthy of the hot corner once guarded by it's namesake.
ENTREES:
All entrees served with your choice of potato, salad or soup
Hrbek-Roasted Chicken: An oven-roasted chicken breast, seasoned to perfection with a handful of herbs and spices. A classy and spophisticated dish reminiscent of the former Twins firstbaseman.
Chet Lemon Chicken: A grilled chicken breast marinated in lemon juice and spices. A tantalizing dish, as breathtaking as the former Tigers outfielder himself.
Baby Backman Ribs: Mmmm. Ribs. Succulent baby back ribs, smeared in mouth-watering barbecue sauce, that practically fall off the bone! When these arrive you'll head for the plate, much like the steady second baseman they were named after.
Chicken Pecota: A full breast of grilled chicken topped with lemon juice, capers and a dash of paprika. Unlike it's namesake, this dish hits well above the mendoza line.
DESSERTS:
Pineapple Upside Downs Cake: A delightful dessert topped with real pineapple slices, marashino cherries and a topping made with brown sugar.
Brett Pudding- Old-fashioned bread pudding with raisins, sans the pine tar.
Apple Browne Jerry- A fine treat with apple, bread crumbs, and cinnamon. So delectable you'll wanna scarf it up faster than Jerry could dash from first to home.
Chocolate Tueffel Cake- Deliciously sinful, this chocolate masterpiece is rich and delish!
The Tanana Split- Go Bananas with this one folks! One banana + three scoops of ice cream+chocolate sauce+whipped cream+a cherry on top= Yummy!
Chocolate Bream Pie- A dessert worthy of the mustached first baseman, it's rich, smooth and chocolatey. Topped with whipped cream, mmmmm!
Quisenberry Pie- Fresh picked quisenberries baked into a pie, toppped with whipped cream to close it out!
Hope you enjoyed and look for our breakfast menu coming soon.....
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
HOWE 'BOUT THAT?!
Well, once agian, I had fallen into a blogless coma. There was, at least, a valid reason this time. You see, "Bitterness" has moved! Well, actually, I moved. Into a house, with my special lady friend and Billy. "Come and knock on our door....." Anyways, the internet usage went down like yo mama on prom night! But now "Bitterness" is coming back with a vengeance. And the first order of business is a little weird mojo emanating from one of my favorite blogs. You see the Electric City Blog is a fine place to find some little known facts about the EC, current news on 80s baseball stars among other things. Recently the ECB had a post about 80s baseball players that should run for office. A delightfully well-written blog that had you thinking it was gonna be about the NFL Draft when all of a sudden ECP throws the good ol #2 (that's a curveball for you non-baseball fans) and hits you with three 80s baseball players that should enter the realm of politics. But here's where the weird mojo comes in. The three players were Steve
Howe, Rickey Henderson and Chris Sabo. Now this blog was posted on April 25th. On April 28th Steve Howe was killed in a car crash. Now I don't want to start any sort of conspiracy theories or anything, but that's a little eerie, don't ya think. Now, of course we all know these sort of things happen in threes. The ECB listed, not one, not two, but three players. Coincidence??? I'm just saying, Sabo, Rickey, be cautious, because there are things at work in the universe right now that are far beyond everyone! Well except perhaps Madame Cleo or Darren Daulton.
1958-2006
Howe, Rickey Henderson and Chris Sabo. Now this blog was posted on April 25th. On April 28th Steve Howe was killed in a car crash. Now I don't want to start any sort of conspiracy theories or anything, but that's a little eerie, don't ya think. Now, of course we all know these sort of things happen in threes. The ECB listed, not one, not two, but three players. Coincidence??? I'm just saying, Sabo, Rickey, be cautious, because there are things at work in the universe right now that are far beyond everyone! Well except perhaps Madame Cleo or Darren Daulton.
1958-2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
MAIL CALL!
That's right folks, it's that time again. It's been awhile since the last blog and we're already over two weeks into the baseball season and the mailbag runneth over. So let's get right to it!
Two former AL East teams, the Tigers and the Brewers, are off to a fast start, but do either of them really have a legitimate shot at making the postseason? Could they be harping on the spirits of the 80s? As a lifelong Brewers fan should I really be getting my hopes up?
Paul M. from Milwaukee, WI
Well Paul, thanks for the questions. Now as a child of 80s baseball, I am extremely happy to see the early season success of both Milwaukee and Detroit, but you have to look at the big picture. The Tigers have beaten the Royals and the Rangers. Now the Royals, well, I mean come on. The Rangers are a tad bit better, but they couldn't pitch themselves out of a brown paper bag. The Brewers have gone 5-1 against the lowly Pirates and the Arizona Diamondbacks. The Pirates are the Bad News Bears of the National League right now, but at least the get to go to Pizza Hut after each game, win or lose. Now don't get me wrong, both the Royals and Tigers are talented young teams and are very dangerous. The Tigers are getting some big numbers from Chris Shelton and Jim Leyland is a pretty good manager. I mean he took a pre-steroid Barry Bonds to the playoffs, back when only four teams made the playoffs.
Coincidently the Tigers and Brewers have not played the playoffs since they added an extra round, or well before it, for that matter. But as far as the playoffs are concerned, the Brew Crew still have to get past the Cardinals for the division and then a whole slew of teams to obtain the 
Wild Card. But this is probably the most exciting Milwaukee team since the days of Higuera, Yount, Gantner (pictured to your right), Molitor, Wegman, Sveum, Nieves, Robidoux and Plesac. As a Milwaukee fan I think you should get very excited about this club, because that rebuilding two decades is about over and the Brewhahas have turned the right corner. They are right on the cusp, so get excited, go to County Stadium, er, Miller Park sit in the Beer Pen, roll out the barrel and cheer on Sheets, Lee, Weeks, Hardy, Clark, Turnbow, etc. Not to mention they have a guy named Corey Hart, c'mon!
Mark P. of Syracuse, NY writes: Will, I know you had to have seen this $148 dollar sandwich they created in England. I know you are big fan of sandwiches and was wondering, what is the highest amount of money you would pay for a sandwich?
Excellent question Mark. I did happen to see this creation (to your left) from across the pond and I indeed, AM a great fan of sandwiches. But how much would I pay for sandwich. Well I can tell ya, being in the upper-lower-middle class, triple digits is a lot to pay for a sandwich that's not gonna at least take you to a movie after. I mean that is a bit much don't you think? Now this particular sandwich has some weird fancy things on it like truffle mayonnaise, so I know I would not pay three figures for it. I mean look at it! It doesn't scream big money sandwich. Now I could see going as high as $17.50 for a sandwich that did not include fries or chips. But would have to be one heck of a sandwich. The most I pay now for a sandwich is around $6 for a Roast Beef and Cheddar from Clark's. But this can easily be financially counterbalanced by only paying $1.50 for a "Screamer" to wash it down with. For those not in the know, a "Screamer" is what we here in the Salt City call a Genessee Cream Ale. So some smooth suds and some delicious roast beef for a mere seven dollars and some change, now that's a deal.
Paul H. of Schenectady writes: The Mets ARE AMAZIN! I feel they will probably set the record for wins in a season. Should I get my World Series tix now or what??
The Mets are off to a fast start and should keep this pace up. It does harken back to the days of Rafael Santana and Wally Backman. Picking up Wagner was a key move and there's certainly nothin' wrong with David Wright. If the starting pitching stays healthy there could be no stopping them. And if they make the World Series, they should get Mookie Wilson to throw out the first pitch.
Bill S. of Syracuse, NY asks: William, the NFL Draft is practically upon us and I was wondering what you see in store for my beloved Buffalo Bills as well as the draft on the whole?
W
ell, William, as you know, although I enjoy the foosball, I know very little about what's really going on. I just kind of sit and wait for Andre Tippett, and not Ronnie "The Amazing Mister" Lippett, to be invited to Canton. (Ohio, not New York or Massachusetts) So let me tell you I think the Bills will draft some players who attended college last year and whom have a tremendous upside. The first couple of rounds of the draft can be a crap shoot. I mean will you get the next David Klinger, Akili Smith or will you hit the jackpot and get the next Neil Lomax?? Luckily, my squad, the Patriots, just draft some virtual unknown anyways so I don't need to really know what's going on. But I do feel that Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart will be drafted early.
Voshon L. of Denver, CO inquires: Where have you been? You get on a real roll with the blogs, and then nothing for like two weeks? Just some lame attempt at a blog that was about how you didn't know what to blog about? You better come back at us full throttle! I mean don't be like that friend who just stops hanging out, calling or contacting you and then all of a sudden reenters your life as if everything is just hunky-dory!
Whoa, maybe Voshon should be writing "Bitterness". Well Voshon, I could tell ya I've been bustin' my hump at work or doing my taxes (both true), but I just haven't been ready, but now I have stuff to write a decent blog about. Stuff like the Olympigs that took place in Moscow. That is not a typo, there was an actual Pig-Olympics held in Russia. Twelve pigs from varying countries took place in three events: Pig Swimming, Pig Running and Pig-Ball. And for my readers some live pics of the events:
Byron B. from Balboa, CA writes: Hey Willie! How are you taking the Arrested Development cancellation? It's been pretty hard on me and my whole family. What is a man to watch now??
Well Byron, I'll tell you Arrested Development was arguably the best show on TV, but you can find some things to watch. ABC offers Sons and Daughters, which is not too shabby. It gives off a sort of AD feel to it. It's not nearly as clever, but it has made me laugh out aloud on several
occasions. The Office is also a fav of mine. This is clever and well-written and Steve Carrell has made the jump, I feel, to comedic genius . Now whether it as good as the British version, weeeellll, that I can't say, because I have not seen much of the Brit version. But a British show I do know about is Hustle. It is a show about a team of con-artists in England. If you have AMC, give it a peek, it's pretty good. It airs Saturdays at 10pm. On the don't watch list is Celebrity Cooking Showdown and ESPN's Bonds on Bonds. I mean what a great idea, give a steroid using, ass his own show. I guess Jose Canseco was occupato. 
I think they should have waited for Bonds to retire and had him and Bobby Bonilla team up as bike cops on a beach, like the short-lived USA show Pacific Blue or Gumbel-to-Gumbel. Or they should have upped the comedic value and made it Jim Cramer-esque and called it Bonds on Stocks. Well, I am no network exec, yet, anyways.
Well that's all the mail that was fit to print this time.
Two former AL East teams, the Tigers and the Brewers, are off to a fast start, but do either of them really have a legitimate shot at making the postseason? Could they be harping on the spirits of the 80s? As a lifelong Brewers fan should I really be getting my hopes up?
Paul M. from Milwaukee, WI
Well Paul, thanks for the questions. Now as a child of 80s baseball, I am extremely happy to see the early season success of both Milwaukee and Detroit, but you have to look at the big picture. The Tigers have beaten the Royals and the Rangers. Now the Royals, well, I mean come on. The Rangers are a tad bit better, but they couldn't pitch themselves out of a brown paper bag. The Brewers have gone 5-1 against the lowly Pirates and the Arizona Diamondbacks. The Pirates are the Bad News Bears of the National League right now, but at least the get to go to Pizza Hut after each game, win or lose. Now don't get me wrong, both the Royals and Tigers are talented young teams and are very dangerous. The Tigers are getting some big numbers from Chris Shelton and Jim Leyland is a pretty good manager. I mean he took a pre-steroid Barry Bonds to the playoffs, back when only four teams made the playoffs.
Coincidently the Tigers and Brewers have not played the playoffs since they added an extra round, or well before it, for that matter. But as far as the playoffs are concerned, the Brew Crew still have to get past the Cardinals for the division and then a whole slew of teams to obtain the 
Wild Card. But this is probably the most exciting Milwaukee team since the days of Higuera, Yount, Gantner (pictured to your right), Molitor, Wegman, Sveum, Nieves, Robidoux and Plesac. As a Milwaukee fan I think you should get very excited about this club, because that rebuilding two decades is about over and the Brewhahas have turned the right corner. They are right on the cusp, so get excited, go to County Stadium, er, Miller Park sit in the Beer Pen, roll out the barrel and cheer on Sheets, Lee, Weeks, Hardy, Clark, Turnbow, etc. Not to mention they have a guy named Corey Hart, c'mon!Mark P. of Syracuse, NY writes: Will, I know you had to have seen this $148 dollar sandwich they created in England. I know you are big fan of sandwiches and was wondering, what is the highest amount of money you would pay for a sandwich?
Excellent question Mark. I did happen to see this creation (to your left) from across the pond and I indeed, AM a great fan of sandwiches. But how much would I pay for sandwich. Well I can tell ya, being in the upper-lower-middle class, triple digits is a lot to pay for a sandwich that's not gonna at least take you to a movie after. I mean that is a bit much don't you think? Now this particular sandwich has some weird fancy things on it like truffle mayonnaise, so I know I would not pay three figures for it. I mean look at it! It doesn't scream big money sandwich. Now I could see going as high as $17.50 for a sandwich that did not include fries or chips. But would have to be one heck of a sandwich. The most I pay now for a sandwich is around $6 for a Roast Beef and Cheddar from Clark's. But this can easily be financially counterbalanced by only paying $1.50 for a "Screamer" to wash it down with. For those not in the know, a "Screamer" is what we here in the Salt City call a Genessee Cream Ale. So some smooth suds and some delicious roast beef for a mere seven dollars and some change, now that's a deal.Paul H. of Schenectady writes: The Mets ARE AMAZIN! I feel they will probably set the record for wins in a season. Should I get my World Series tix now or what??
The Mets are off to a fast start and should keep this pace up. It does harken back to the days of Rafael Santana and Wally Backman. Picking up Wagner was a key move and there's certainly nothin' wrong with David Wright. If the starting pitching stays healthy there could be no stopping them. And if they make the World Series, they should get Mookie Wilson to throw out the first pitch.
Bill S. of Syracuse, NY asks: William, the NFL Draft is practically upon us and I was wondering what you see in store for my beloved Buffalo Bills as well as the draft on the whole?
W
ell, William, as you know, although I enjoy the foosball, I know very little about what's really going on. I just kind of sit and wait for Andre Tippett, and not Ronnie "The Amazing Mister" Lippett, to be invited to Canton. (Ohio, not New York or Massachusetts) So let me tell you I think the Bills will draft some players who attended college last year and whom have a tremendous upside. The first couple of rounds of the draft can be a crap shoot. I mean will you get the next David Klinger, Akili Smith or will you hit the jackpot and get the next Neil Lomax?? Luckily, my squad, the Patriots, just draft some virtual unknown anyways so I don't need to really know what's going on. But I do feel that Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart will be drafted early.Voshon L. of Denver, CO inquires: Where have you been? You get on a real roll with the blogs, and then nothing for like two weeks? Just some lame attempt at a blog that was about how you didn't know what to blog about? You better come back at us full throttle! I mean don't be like that friend who just stops hanging out, calling or contacting you and then all of a sudden reenters your life as if everything is just hunky-dory!
Whoa, maybe Voshon should be writing "Bitterness". Well Voshon, I could tell ya I've been bustin' my hump at work or doing my taxes (both true), but I just haven't been ready, but now I have stuff to write a decent blog about. Stuff like the Olympigs that took place in Moscow. That is not a typo, there was an actual Pig-Olympics held in Russia. Twelve pigs from varying countries took place in three events: Pig Swimming, Pig Running and Pig-Ball. And for my readers some live pics of the events:
Byron B. from Balboa, CA writes: Hey Willie! How are you taking the Arrested Development cancellation? It's been pretty hard on me and my whole family. What is a man to watch now??
Well Byron, I'll tell you Arrested Development was arguably the best show on TV, but you can find some things to watch. ABC offers Sons and Daughters, which is not too shabby. It gives off a sort of AD feel to it. It's not nearly as clever, but it has made me laugh out aloud on several
occasions. The Office is also a fav of mine. This is clever and well-written and Steve Carrell has made the jump, I feel, to comedic genius . Now whether it as good as the British version, weeeellll, that I can't say, because I have not seen much of the Brit version. But a British show I do know about is Hustle. It is a show about a team of con-artists in England. If you have AMC, give it a peek, it's pretty good. It airs Saturdays at 10pm. On the don't watch list is Celebrity Cooking Showdown and ESPN's Bonds on Bonds. I mean what a great idea, give a steroid using, ass his own show. I guess Jose Canseco was occupato. 
I think they should have waited for Bonds to retire and had him and Bobby Bonilla team up as bike cops on a beach, like the short-lived USA show Pacific Blue or Gumbel-to-Gumbel. Or they should have upped the comedic value and made it Jim Cramer-esque and called it Bonds on Stocks. Well, I am no network exec, yet, anyways.Well that's all the mail that was fit to print this time.
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