Sunday, May 21, 2006


This weekend the DaVinci Code opened in millions of theaters worldwide. The movie is based on the best selling novel by Dan Brown, which tells of secrets or "codes" embedded in the works of Leonardo DaVinci that may uncover the location of the "Holy Grail". DaVinci of course was a famous Rennaisance artist, but he's probably better known as the namnesake for the ninja turtle who had the swords and wore the blue mask (see right). Which got us here at "Bitterness" thinking about what other famous works may hide secrets or "codes" embedded in them? Hmmmm?

So we'll start with one of the greatest artists of all time....Jim Varney and his best creation....Ernest P. Worrell. (Author's note: He did not actually create the character but elevated to levels no one ver imagined.)Now the name Ernest comes from the Germans and means serious or determined. While the name Worrell (yes spelled like the great 80s closer Todd Worrell and the current reliever Tim Worrell, but pronounced differently) is from English, meaning from the true man's manor. So his name literally means serious or determined from a true man's manor or does it??? What does the P. stand for?? There have been many theories as to Ernest's middle name, some wild, some cockamamie, some that were downright flim-flam. Of course we all know of the conspiracies theories that have surrounded the life and times of Ernest P. Worrell. The P. has been in the thick of it all.

After the release of Ernest Goes to Camp, there was widespread speculation that, due to Native American refernces in the film, the middle name was possibly derived from Native American culture. The first and foremost name that came up was the Hopi name Pahana which means lost white brother. So could his name mean "determined to be the lost white brother of the true man's manor"? Is the true man's manor Heaven? The Playboy mansion? or perhaps just a local Hooters? Or could the P stand for Pay, the Native American name for "He is Coming"? Was Ernest P. Worrell the "second coming" of the Lord? Did his lineage fall in line with Christ? Was he now ready to ascend to the "true man's manor" known as heaven? While his Native American routes were still undetermined, there certainly seemed to be some valid clues as to unlocking this mystery that has plagued generations. And then, a year after he went to camp, he saved Christmas.

Ernest Saves Christmas. In this classic follow-up to his touching movie debut, he, as the title indicates, is charged with saving Christmas. Of course Christmas is one the holiest days of the year in the church. Now the film masks Ernest's holy ties by offering up the commercial holiday and not the religious connotations. Now after this film, it was offered that maybe his middle name was biblical like Peter or Paul, but did nothing to dismiss the religious connotations that would surround Ernest, if ya knowwhudimean? And certainly Ernest's next adventure would only help to uncover the truth.

In the third Ernest movie, Ernest, through a series of whacky events ends up in jail, where he does not rightfully belong. He is on death row, and through a "miracle" is able to escape when he should have been dead. Sound familiar? Jesus was imprisoned, crucified and through a "miracle" arose again. Now this obvious parallel to the life of the son of God, may give us a hint to Ernest's middle name. The story of the "rock" being rolled away to reveal Jesus' empty tomb could be a hint that his middle name was in fact Peter. Peter was known as "the Rock" long before Dwayne Johnson used it. Could Ernest be the "Rock " of which to start anew, of which to build the new "true man's manor"? Alas after several more Ernest movies, being a Beverly Hillbilly, and voicing several cartoon characters, Jim Varney passed on, taking with him maybe the key to one of the biggest mysteries of our time. But perhaps, Ernest P. Worrell, is similar to Jesus H. Christ. The middle initial is just there for dramatic effect. But perhaps someday we will unearth the true secrets and codes that lie somewhere in the misadventures of Ernest P. Worrell, but for now we'll just sit and wonder or maybe we should go talk to Vern, who in himself may be a mystery even bigger than "Bitterness" itself!

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