WEEK FOUR: KITNA'S REVENGE!

Well, well, well! Week three was a humdinger. Not to be confused with Broncos assistant head coach, Mike Hiemerdinger. I added another game on the Sports Guy and 4 on the Monday Morning Quarterback himself, Peter King. And in the category of,"What were you thinking?", both the MMQ and the SG picking the Texans to cover. I mean honestly, the Texans? Did you gents forget what decade you were in when you saw Houston as a four point underdog? Possibly thinking that Warren Moon could put up big numbers if he just stayed away from Darrell Green? I mean, for pete's sake the Skins were only favored by four. I know they've struggled, but the Texans have given up close to a thousand yards of offense in just two games. Granted that was against Donovan McNabb and Peyton Manning, but at what point in all this did the Houston defense look like it even had a pulse? Oh and also the Sports Guy picked the 49ers to cover the spread against the Eagles. The spread was a mere 6, C'MON!
Here are your up to the week standings:

"Bitterness"- 29-17
"Sports Guy"- 23-23
" MMQB"- 20-26

You may have noticed that I took the tie off the board. I was originally scoring a game, where the spread was hit right on the nose, as a tie. But then I figured, that since if you bet on that game, and the spread was hit exactly, you would lose your money, it should be scored as a loss. However since I make my picks without even looking at the spread (I think Mr. King may be in the same boat) that it is possible to predict a point differential that is equal to the point spread. Case and point: In week three the Bears were favored by three points against Minnesota. I predicted the Bears would win by exactly 3. So really this would be a loss if they didn't win by that margin exactly (they did however, so I gave myself a win). But since PK and myself pick without the spreads in mind, this could be a regular occurrence, sooooooooo...with that in mind, if we pick a score that would be the exact spread, I will default it to the favorite. So if they win by the spread or more that will count as a win. Is your head spinning too? Well enough of that rambling on to the picks:

Cardinals (1-2) @ Falcons (2-1)- Warner. Leinart. Warner. Pick a QB already! Well personally I say go with Leinart, and not just cause he's on two of my fantasy teams, I can ride Kitna to the promised land, but because, well, what do you have to lose? Really? I mean, if I'm Denny Green I gotta think, "What the hay? My job's probably in jeopardy and Kurt Warner is producing more turnovers than the bakery down the street!" I mean what's the worst case scenario? The Cardinals lose a bunch a games? HELL-O! It's Arizona, they're used to it! Well the Falcons, I'm sure could care less who the starting QB is, after their "effort" in the Big Easy they'll be looking to take out some aggression on the Cards and will roll 31-14

Cowboys (1-1) @ Titans (0-3)- Terrell Owens is still alive and apparently didn't try to kill himself. I know, I was bummed too. If Owens doesn't play, he will be with Jerry Jones in Tennessee during the game as he drew the short straw and will be on T.O. suicide watch during the game. Oh come one, it's T.O., I can make fun of that. Bahhhh! On to the actual game. The Titans were able to stymie the offensive juggernaut that is the Miami Dolphins, last week. Despite that, I think the Cowboys win it, with or without Owens 31-14.

Colts (3-0) @ Jets (2-1)- I gotta give Eric Mangini and the Jets (not to be confused with Benny and the Jets) credit, they are not nearly as bad as I thought they would be. But really it would have been very hard for them to be that bad, I guess. That being said the Colts are as good as I thought they would be and I don't see any reason fro them to not stay undefeated after this old school AFC East rematch. Colts improve to 2-0 in the Meadowlands this season 31-21.

Dolphins (1-2) @ Texans (0-3)-Once again I fell into the trap of the preseason hype for a Duante Culpepper led team. You would have thought I'd learned my lesson last year after I picked the Vikings to get to the Super Bowl. But, NOOOOOOOO! I thought the Dolphins would be passable and a playoff contender. Well right now they're not either. I don't even think escaping the mighty Titans by only three points should even count as a win. Unfortunately the NFL disagrees with me there and they'll still get credit for a win. But the Dolphins should be able to seemingly show some signs of life against the Texans. I mean they made Mark Brunell look like Phil Simms for crying out loud! Dolphins win 24-12

Vikings (2-1) @ Bills (1-2)- The Vikings haven't shown they can put a lot of points on the board and the Bills have a stingy defense, so this should be close and low scoring. The big difference in this game will be the play of the QBs, Brad Johnson and J.P. Losman. And unfortunately for Bills fans it will be age before beauty as the Vikes eke one out a win in the City of Good Neighbors 16-13

Saints (2-0) @ Panthers (1-2)- Well, I'm not gonna lie, I did think this would be a battle of an undefeated and a 1-2 team, just the shoes were on the other feet. I mean, who'da thunk the Saints would be the one's marching into (this will be the last, "Saints go marching..." joke for awhile, I promise) this matchup with the undefeated record? Maaaaaaaayyyyybe Vaughan Dunbar (to your right), but that's about it! Well the fairy tale ends here, as the Panthers knock the Saints from the ranks of the unbeaten 24-18

Chargers (2-0) @ Ravens (3-0)- The Chargers have been on sort of an extended preseason, facing the likes of Oakland and Tennessee in the first two weeks. So now it's really time to see what Philip Rivers is made of. The Ravens will keep the young QB busy all day, but I think having LT as a safety valve will be all the help Rivers will need to defeat the Ravens 17-11

49ers (1-2) @ Chiefs (0-2)- This was a tough one to pick, I'll tell ya what! The Niners have shown signs of life, and the Chiefs have Damon "Don't call me Brock" Huard (pictured, with with brother Brock to the right) behind center. The Arrowhead fans and an unexpectedly decent defense should help out a little to rattle Alex Smith and the Niners, while offensively look for Larry Johnson to get about 85 carries en route to a 13-12 win over San Fran.

Lions (0-3) @ Rams (2-1)- Kitna is gonna carve up the Ram secondary like a Thanksgiving dinner turkey! The Rams barely escaped Arizona with a win as it turns out Arizona wanted to lose even more than St. Louis. Kitna has been Kitna and this week will be more of the same in my upset special as the Lions win their first game 21-17.

Browns (0-3) @ Raiders (0-2)- Let's just say I'm probably gonna pick the Raiders to lose every week. I mean they don't have a passing game, a running game, a defense or good special teams. The best thing they got going for them is Art Shell, and well, that's not gonna quite gonna be enough. Charlie and his Frye Guys head into the Black Hole and steal a win, 23-9

Jaguars (2-1) @ Redskins (1-2)- Tough to say the 'Skins offense is really "clicking" now, under Al Saunders, after their big triumph in Houston. It was Houston after all. Sorry Texans fans, but, c'mon. My guess is they are not gonna put up the same numbers against the Jags "D" as they did against Houston. The Jags will capture the road victory 17-6.

Patriots (2-1) @ Bengals (3-0)- Let's just say, right now the Bengals are a much better football team. Has Bill Belichik gotten a bit to big for his britches? I just want to go into the Pats front office and let them know it's okay to spend money and resign players! Aaaarrrrrghhhhhhhh! Watch for the much anticipated five Tight End Set in this one with Daniel Graham, Ben Watson, Mike Vrabel, Ben Coates and Marv Cook lined up together. Bengals take it 21-13.

Seahawks (3-0) @ Bears (3-0)- The big Sunday night game in the windy city should be a doozy. But it looks like no Shaun Alexander and I don't know if they have had enough time to get Derrick Fenner game ready, so I gotta say I like da Bears chances. With Alexander I still don't know that I would have the 'Hawks winning. The Bears "D" is good and it'll help 'em win it 13-12.

Packers (1-2) @ Eagles (2-1)- The Eagles must be liking this early season schedule that has them playing Houston, San Fran and Green Bay in three of the first four games. This should be very similar to last week's game in the San Fran,as the Eagles soar 38-21.

Well there you have it a look at week four, good night and good luck!