Tuesday, March 27, 2007

QUESTIONING BASEBALL

Well the 2007 Major League Baseball Season is almost upon us, so obviously it's time for the "Bitterness" 2007 Major League Baseball burning questions:

How many Marlins will suffer a sophomore slump? Can the Phillies put their money where Jimmy Rollins' mouth is? Can Ryan Howard belt 60 homers, playing in the bandbox that is Citizen's Bank Park? Is Dasiuke Matsuzaka the real deal? Or is yet another foreigner stealing a job from a hard working American? Is Stephen Drew as much of an a-hole as his bro, JD? Who will be worse, the Royals or the Nationals? Who will be better, the Yankees or the Red Sox? Will the Angels expand their name even further to the Los Angeles Angels of Anahiem, California, United States of America, Planet Earth? How much longer will the Pirates rebuilding process take? Could the Nationals have the worst starting rotation in history? When will Jim Pankovits become a major league manager? Do I really think Panks can be a manager, or did I just want a reason to drop his name into a blog? Can Sports Illustrated be right on their prediction of the all Los Angeles World Series? How bitter would we be if it happened? Who will win the annual chicken wing eating contest between Bartolo Colon or Livan Hernandez? Or wild card, Curt Schilling? Last year the Blue Jays had a Gustavo Chacin cologne night, wouldn't this be much better in SoCal? With say, Bartolo Colon? Since the Mariners won't be putting fans in the seats by winning games, wouldn't the next best way be to line-up some bobblehead nights? For maybe, I dunno, Ken Phelps, Harold Reynolds, Alvin Davis, Jim Presley, Mickey Brantley, Scott Bankhead or Jim Beattie? Isn't Jason Giambi overdue? Will Bill laugh hysterically after reading that? Are the Yankees-Devil Rays and Red Sox-Royals really the most compelling games ESPN could show us on opening day? Why don't they schedule some better opening matchups? Just get it over with and schedule Yankees-Red Sox to open the season? How excited are Royals, Pirates, Nationals or Devil Rays fans? Really? More exciting in Kansas City, come July- The Chiefs offseason moves or the excitement of Gil Meche on the hill every five days? How excited does a fan of a team, who's ace is Gil Meche, get? How long will it take Giants fans to realize they are not in the midst of a solar eclipse, it's just Barry Bonds' head blocking the sun? Will Mark Mulder ever ptch well again? Where will Roger Clemens pitch? Is anyone else sickened by him? What are the odds of Clemens signing with the Nationals to make some political contacts, paving the way for a run at Texas state comptroller? How many times will Chipper Jones slump and someone say,"He's not looking very chipper today?" If the Royals win a game and nobody sees it, does it still count in the standings?

Well those are the major questions we're looking for answers to this summer. Enjoy as we count down to Opening Day, not to be confused with opening night, which should be good, but we like the full slate of games on Monday. Especially the much anticipated Meche vs. Schilling duel! Now we're sure some may be excited about the Sunday nighter, but Monday's the big day! The day where we'll get ESPN News for 3 hours because the Yankees game is scheduled but will be blacked out and no other game can be shown in that time slot. Grrrr. Anyways, we can't wait, as we're just about five days away from playing ball!

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