MORE FEBRUARY FRENZY

Well it's Day Two of the College Basketball tournaments, so here's some more predictions for you the reader:

SUN BELT CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT:
The Jaguars of South Alabama and the Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky are the favorites to end up in the finals of this one. The Jags are led by Demetric Bennett (15.3 PPPG) and Ernest Little, whose presence is anything but little, averaging nearly 13 points per game and 8.9 rebounds. Menawhile the Hilltoppers have a Mascot that looks a little like the monster from Bugs Bunny cartoons, Gossamer:










or perhaps a red Grimace:



Point Hilltopppers. I dunno. Anyways, the tournament. Look for a 1st round upset from the 12th seeded Rajin Cajuns of Lousiana-Lafayette. We've long been a fan of the Cajuns, since they were SW Louisiana State University and we feel they can take down, not only the North Texas Mean Green (another name we love!) but also the number four team the Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks. Now the Cajuns have only won 9 games all season, but they're Rajin for cryin out loud! Led by David Dees and Ross Mouton, they're poised for an upset. Everything in the semis should go according to seeding with South Alabama and the Hilltoppers reaching the finals. Now we think the Hilltoppers will take it, and we're not just saying it because Daniel Emerson is on the roster, although I wouldn't mind having his jersey. But be careful not to sleep on the conference's leading scorer, Bo McCalebb and the New Orleans Privateers or the conference's second leading scorer, Adrian Banks and the Arkansas State Indians. You're conference tidbit, the Denver Pioneers roster has a Myke Lattimore and a Mykhael Lattimore. Both are listed as #13. Both hail from Morristown, NJ. But one is a junior and one is a senior and their stats are just slightly different. Are they actually the same person? Who knows in that crazy Sun Belt?

THE GENERAL SHALE BRICK ATLANTIC SUN CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT:
What a conference this is! It is home to one of the greatest college hoops rivalries there is, Belmont- Lipscomb as well as the Fightin' Camels of Campbell and a team that is in the running for the worst team in Division I, the North Florida Osprey (they only won one game against a Division-I opponent. The run and gun Camels are feisty, with Johnathan Rodriguez (17.2 PPG, 8.8 RPG, and 3.1 APG) and Leadell Eackles (#2 in the conference in assists and the leader in steals per game) leading the way. And yes he is the son of former Washington Bullett Ledell Eackles. While it was a down season for the Bisons of Lipscomb, but this is where they shine. Eddie Ard leads the Bison and although they're the four seed I feel they can buck Eastern Tennessee State in the quarters. But it won't be easy, with Brad Nuckles manning the middle for the Buccaneers. Brad Nuckles? Sounds like a made up boxer name. Actually Brad's dad Benny Nuckles was a boxer, winning his last fight against Soda Popinski, before heading into retirement. But, just like last year this'll comedown to the Bruins and Bison, and it looks likes it should be another General Shale Brick Atlantic Sun Conference Championship for Belmont.


THE PATRIOT LEAGUE TOURNAMENT
This one doesn't look to have a lot of upsets. We like all four top seeds to advance to the semifinals. In fact the biggest upset you'll see in this tournament, will be two seeded Bison of Bucknell beating the top seeded Holy Cross Crusaders in the finale. A player to watch out for is Lehigh's Kyle Neptune. The coolest name that'll be a non-factor, Army's John Moonshower (1.1 PPG, 1.1 RPG, 0.5 APG). The reason I like Bison is because of their balance. There top three scorers average 11.8, 11.5 and 10.7 PPG. There's no one peron you can lock down on and the Crusaders will have trouble, even with Patriot League Player of the Year, Keith Simmons and Patriot League Defensive Player of the Year, Torey Thomas. So, much like in the Atlantic Sun, this one'll go to the Bison.

SOUTHERN CONFERENCE MOUNTAIN DEW BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP:
This one is gonna come down to the Mountaineers of Appalachian State and the Davidson Wildcats. Now the Cats are the #1 seed and only lost one conference game....to the Mountaineers. Now College of Charleston (or the CoC) is #3, but we expect them to be upset in the quarters by Louis Graham and Jimmy Tobias (who may or may not be a never nude) and the Eagles of Georgia Southern. But when you get right down to the nitty gritty of it all, Davidson and Appalachian State are in a class by themselves. But the Mountaineers big three of DJ Thompson, Jeremy Clayton and Donte Minter could be too much for the Wildcats and Stephen Curry and Jason Richards. Other player's to watch for are UNC-Greensboro's Kyle Hines and 3-pt sharpshooter, Kendall Toney. Also watch for the league leader in fouls per game, Arnold Gore of Western Carolina. So it's the Mountaineers who are gonna be your 2007 Southern Conference Mountain Dew Basketball Championship Champions.

NORTH EAST CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT SPONSORED BY ESURANCE:
The wild card team in this tourney is the five seeded Mount Saint Mary's Mountaineers who will ride Mykal Kearse to the finals. But it's in the finals, where the "Mount" will come to the Blue Devils of Central Connecticut State and Oba Nwadike who can be a monster on the boards. You can also expect a quarterfinal upset from Fairleigh Dickinson and Andre Harris. But when it comes down to it, expect the top seeded Blue Devils to roll through the field and win the North East Conference Champions sponsored be eSurance.

THE STATE FARM MISSOURI VALLEY CONFERENCE ARCH MADNESS:
The Valley has been the crown jewel of the mid-majors for a couple of seasons. It seems the Valley has lost a little luster and is a bit passe, but they still have a lot of talent and gusto. Now, it's still up in arms as to how many Valley teams are going to the Big Dance. Now anything can happen at Arch madness, we believe it'll come down to Nate Funk and the Creighton Blue Jays against Jamal Tatum and the Salukis of Southern Illinois. Now of course we are big fans of the Missouri State Bears, mostly because of the best free-throw shooter in all the land, Blake Ahearn, but the Bears will not be able to match up with Creighton in the semis. Now don't discount last year's surprise, Bradley or this year's early darling the Shockers of Wichita State. It seems like the Salukis should win this tourney, but I really feel the Blue Jays are gonna take it. Call it a hunch, but I think the Jays and nate Funk will break out of their conference tourney,well, funk.

FEBRUARY FRENZY!

While "March Madness" is still days away, there are some conference tourneys that kick-off in February and we are gonna give ya the lowdown on each and every one. And awaaayyyy we go:

We'll start off with the O' Reilly Auto Parts Ohio Valley Conference Basketball Championship. Now the Governors of Austin Peay are the regular season conference champions, making them the #1 seed and the early favorite to win the O'Reilly Auto Parts Ohio Valley Conference Basketball Championship. But let me tell you, this is tournament is wide open folks. After the Governors, the 2-5 seeds are very close together, and really the Govs are not that far ahead of the pack, and if you ask me The Govs could be in trouble. My darkhorse in this tourney is Samford. The Bulldogs have the #1 scoring defense and are a great free-throw shooting team, two big keys to winning championships. However you can't sleep on the Golden Eagles of Tennessee Tech. The Golden Eagles boast the highest scoring offense in the conference, led by Belton Rivers (18.0 PPG), Anthony Fisher (17.3 PPG)and Amadi McKenzie (13.7 PPG). The quarterfinals should be dominated by the higher seeds with just the five seeded Samford edging out the fourth seeded Racers of Murray State. I think Samford will put up a good fight in the semis, but in the end will be taken down by the Governors. Then watch for a wild final coming down to Tennessee Tech and Austin Peay, with the Governors taking home the O'Reilly Auto Parts Ohio Valley Conference Basketball Championship Trophy. Next....

The Advance Auto Parts Big South Conference Championship. This one seems a little bit easier to predict. The Big South only has three teams with records above .500, with Coastal Carolina just barely making the list at 15-14. The Eagles of Winthrop led the way, going 14-0 in conference, with three guys who average double digits in points per game. But they have balance, with Michael Jenkins, Torrell Martin, and Craig Bradshaw all averaging about 15 points per conference game. However, the High Point Panthers did come close to beating them, but that was at High Point and the Advance Auto Parts Big South Championship Game will be played on the higher seeds court, which more or less means, if High Points has to face Winthrop for the Advance Auto Parts Big South Tournament Championship it'll have to be at Winthrop. If the Panthers are gonna do it they'll need a big game from Big South player of the year, Arizona Reid, who was the conference's # 2 scorer and top rebounder. I forsee no major upsets in this tournament. Look for Winthrop to be your Advance Auto Parts Big South Conference Tournament Champions. Our favorite player in the conference, Dusty Pflugner of the Virginia Military Institute Keydets will probably not be much of a factor. He's not very good, we just like his name. And now onto....

The Horizon League Tournament. (Nope, no sponsor in the title. Really!) Well of course it seems like a lock that the Butler Bulldogs, led by A.J. Graves will get in regardless of how they do in their conference tournament. Now, we wish Youngstown State had a shot, because their Penguin logo is just so darned cute, er, um, ah, something manly. The Wright State Raiders, led by Horizon League player of the year DeShaun Wood as well as the Loyola Ramblers and Horizon League 1st teamer Blake Schilb could pose some problems for the Bulldogs. Watch for some clever signs in the stands like "Wright State?! More like Wrong State!" But rest assured, the teams that come out of this conference to go dancing will be troublesome for those higher seeds as Butler, Wisconsin-Green Bay and Wisconsin-Milwaukee have all had recent tournament sucess. We actually think the Ramblers will beat Butler in the semis before falling to the eventual champs- Wright State. Also watch out for Youngstown State's Finnish Flash, Mikko Niemi. Mostly just for his hair. Certainly after the conference tournament there will be much more...on....the....Horizon.....for the tourney winner.

So there's your look at the first three conference tourneys. There's much more to come!

MAIL CALL!

It has been TOO long since we answered our readers mail, and the bag is over flowing! So, let's hit it!


HOOP-LA!
Javen B. of Schenectady, NY writes....Where the heck is the college hoops?! I need predictions and answers to help me lose money come March! Is this year gonna be the return of the MAAC or what?

Don't worry my friend, the college hoops posts are on the way! You can look forward to many idiotic predictions and useless knowledge about college hoops coast to coast and extending to Hawaii. The MAAC is always a threat come March, but it's a one team conference, come Selection Sunday. I like Marist, as my usual pony, Iona is well, not good. But don't count the Gaels out, as anything can happen in March, that's why it's called March Madness and not March Status Quo. But Jared Jordan should lead the Red Foxes to the Big Dance, and we're okay with that. JJ's a stud and they could be trouble in the first round if they get a favorable matchup. That's what it's all about.

Dickie V. of Dukeville, USA says: HOW 'BOY THEM DUKIES?! THEY'VE GOT SOME PLUCK IN 'EM, BABY! NO JJ REDICK, NO PROBLEM! COACH K IS AN INSPIRATION AND GENIUS, BABY! HE'S GOT SOME REAL P-T-PERS! WATCH OUT FOR THE DUKIES!

Okay, not sure why it had to be in all caps, but anyways... We here at "Bitterness" were honestly looking forward to Duke-free tournament, but sadly they have been able to put together a little run and are all but a lock for the Big Dance, given their "prestige" and whatnot. But the only ACC team "Bitterness" will be pulling for is the Wahoos. That's right Virginia, baby! I know it's a cavalier thought, but we like their style.

ECP SEAL OF APPROVAL!
ECP writes.....In response to Souper Bowl I," You're a genius!"

Ah, praise from Caesar....salad. Zing! Anyways, glad you approve, my friend. Your praise is greatly appreciated. We know you'll be looking forward to the upcoming March Madness Diner As for you, thanks for your continued support, keep on truckin'!


AWARDS SEASON:
William Herbert S. of Syracuse, NY asks.....with the Oscars come and gone, I was wondering what your thoughts were on some of the big awards?


While I do like movies, I don't tend to have much knowledge about those movies that have "Oscar buzz". I generally don't pay much attention to the awards shows, because they are just another reason for celebrities to get all gussied up and talk about each other. Well, while I could Babel on for pages and pages about my problems with these awards shows, I will just put on a smile and be Little Miss Sunshine. Now I won't pretend that I know what I'm talking about like I'm the Queen, or king of everything Oscar. Now I'm sure Dirty Harry did a great job with Letters From Iwo Jima, but well, let's just say, I'm bit Departed from the whole subject. I mean especially, since quality movies like The Burbs, Gung-Ho, Uncle Buck, and My Blue Heaven have gone without Oscar nominations. Sorry they weren't artsy enough for you Academy! Um, yeah Babel seems like the favorite for Best Picture, but the only one I've seen is Little Miss Sunshine and it was phenomenal. So we were pulling for the Little Miss Sunshine that could! If you want to know something about Oscars, than this is the place.

Steve G. from Long Island, NY writes: I gotta say this year's Oscar blog was not as good as The Police Academy Awards last year. What happened?

Well Steve, I'll be honest we were not quite sure how much mileage we could get out of the Police Academy Awards. We weren't sure if it come off as funny or just weak and lazy, if we, once again resorted to the same "bit" a year later? But for those who missed it or just really loved it, or who just what Guttenburg topless, and you know who you are, here's another look at the Police Academy Awards. Also look for the upcoming Willies and Salt City Saul's, Salties.

80S BASEBALL:
Tom E. from Clearwater, FL asks: How could you leave off the Crime Dog, Fred McGriff from your 80s Baseball All-Black team? In seems like one of the biggest travesties, in the history of travesties! Explain yourself!

Well, Tom be happy to. So, stop throwing baseballs into trash recepticals and listen up. We have nothing against the Crime Dog, but we felt that there were several reasons he was left off. 1) He was too good. Most of the players on the team, you may have noticed, were not as prominent as the Crime Dog. 2) He's still pretty fresh in the mind of most people, who aren't obsessed with 80s baseball players, seeing how he has played in the majors in this century. In other words not as obscure to the 80s baseball layperson. And 3) He is more of 90s player, in our mind. I mean you could've just as easily asked, where's Cecil Fielder, who also played first base for the Jays in the 80s. But when you think 1980s Toronto Blue Jays and first base, you think Willie Upshaw. And if you don't, than you don't know Tony Bernazard from Mike Sharperson.

This has been another "Bitterness" mailbag. We'll open it again soon, so get those questions in!

OSCAR TIME

Well it's just about that time. The Academy Awards are right around the corner, but here at "Bitterness" the Oscars are upon us. Here is our salute to Oscars.


Oscar Gamble played in the majors for 17 seasons as a Yankee, White Sock, Cub, Phillie, Indian, Padre, and Ranger. Wow! As a Yankee he was forced to shed his beloved afro, due to the teams policy on long hair. While we here at 'Bitterness" only wish that he had played in this day and age with Scott Proctor. Proctor and Gamble? Nice. Of course we would be remiss if we didn't also mention the one and only Oscar Azocar. Azocar was also a Yankee. A career .226 hitter, Azocar never met a pitch he didn't like. It took Azocar a hundred at-bats before he even manged to draw a walk. Oh yeah and there's of course the Golden Boy, Oscar delaHoya. He is one of the most notable boxers around. We don't follow boxing, but we know his name, that's how we know he's famous.

Of course there have been several well-known Oscars throughout television history. Jack Klugman's portrayal of Oscar Madison in the Odd Couple and Jeffrey Tambor in his role as Oscar Bluth on Arrested Development. Quite possibly the two finest portrayals of an 'Oscar" in the history of television, by two of the finest actors in the long span of television history. Oscar Madison was a sloppy sportswriter thrust into living with his neatnik friend Felix Unger. Together they formed quite an....odd......couple. Oddly enough Tambor played an odd couple himself. He was both the laid-back, hippie, pot-smoking Ocscar Bluth and his scheming, power-hungry twin brother George Bluth. Both brilliant performances.


Of course great "Oscars" are not limited to the boob-tube. The big screen has had its fair share of Oscar performances. Now, before jack Klugman, also tv's Quincy, brought Oscar Madison to the little screen, it was portrayed by Walter Matthau on the big screen. You see the hit play and movie was later made into a television hit. This, however, is not the only great movie "Oscar", we've had. Lest we forget Sylvester Stallone in the movie, Oscar. Of course it's a common misconception that Sly played the title role of Oscar. No, no, no, it is Jim Mulholland who plays "Oscar", the man who gets Sly's daughter, played by Marisa Tomei ,pregant. There is plenty of misunderstandings and crazy antics make this a wild romp, you won't want to look away from. Ironically, Oscar never even received an Oscar nomination? Obviously they didn't watch the movie.

Now, writing has seen some great Oscars as well. There's Oscar Wilde and Oscar Hammerstein II. Now while both are world renown, we realized the most we knew about Oscar Wilde was his name and that Tim Hardaway would hate him. Meanwhile Hammerstein is responsible for some of the greatest musicals of all time, but Tim Hardaway hates musicals as well. Interesting.

Now the name "Oscar"'s most notable contribution to music had tohave come from OscarMelendez. Not even a contest in this category. "Who is Oscar Melendez," you may be asking yourself? C'mon! He was in the original Menudo for crying out loud! Now this was pre- Ricky Martin, Menudo, as the band had frequent turnover. When a member hit 16 they were out, but Oscar was one of the innovators who laid the foundation for the original, and best, boy band. We are not sure if Oscar was with the group when they appeared alongside Ricky Schroeder in Silver Spoons. Without Menudo, there may never have been a NKOTB, LFO, O-Town, Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, or 98 Degrees. So, I think I can speak for Oscar and the rest of the original group, when I say, 'You're welcome."

And how could you possibly honor "Oscars" without mentioning Oscar Mayer. Is there anyone out there who doesn't know the Oscar Mayer bologna song? And who among us, hasn't wished, they, themselves were an Oscar Mayer weiner. By far one of the biggest innovators of, well, ever. And nevermind the hot dog car. Forget about it!

ROUND-OFFS

-- WE GOT A HOT ONE!

Our good friend Billyball celebrated a birthday last week and it escaped
mention here at "Bitterness"! We did wish him well on his big day,
but as part of our New Year's resolution here at "Bitterness", we are
going to be mentioning our friends' birthdays. As best we can, that is. So
if we missed any in January, a thousand pardons. We'll get better as we go,
we promise!






-- Snow way!
Snow, snow, and more snow! And I'm not talking about Percy, Eric or
Chrissy, either. Now I'm not gonna get too much into this one, as
Bill covered this pretty well, but you'd think that they'd be
able to do a better job with this in Syracuse. I'm still fascinated
watching the national news, as they explain lake effect snow, which to
folks in the Northeast is nothing new. I can somewhat understand waiting
to plow until the snow stopped.....if it wasn't going to be continuous for
like 24 hours! Now, the fact of the matter is, although Syracuse is
usually "snow central", this has been generally mild,and they've probably
only had to break out the plows, maybe four times at the most. So they
shouldn't be worried about overuse or not being able to foot the bill.
And one more thing.....if they are calling a "state of emergency" (which,
let's face it sounds a lot worse than it is) and there's to be no
unnecessary travel, why are things like, the mall, open? Last I checked,
getting to JC Penny for those hot new stretch pants doesn't fall in the
category of necessity.








-- Celtic Pride
Celtics Win!! No this is not a typo. After 18 consecutive losses, the
luck of the irish finally kicked in or something? Good thing too, since,
after the All-Star break the Celts face a daunting west coast road
trip, and could easily have lost like 24 in a row and be line for a pretty
dubious record. This team brings back memories of the worst Celtics
team in my lifetime, led by Dana Barros, Pervis Ellison, Marty Conlon
and company. Ah, the glory days. And then, Gerald Green goes and wins the
slam dunk contest. Things are gonna change I can feel it.






-- The "Bitterness" Hubba Bubba NCAA Bubble Watch
It seems to good to be true, but Duke is on the bubble. Of course they
can just rely on their tradition to get them in. I'm sure they'll still
be like a #4 seed and play their games in Charlotte against ITT Tech
regardless. Unfortunately on the bottom of the bubble lies Syracuse. It
does not look good for the men in Orange. But we did come up with a new
nickname for Paul Harris. Since his initials are P.H., we've dubbed him
the "lithmus test"! We know of someone else with those initials, but he
already has a nickname. It'll seem really weird if both Duke and UCONN
miss the tourney. When was the last time that happened? Well we looked
into it and you know it was 1983. That's a long time, folks, but it
would make me ever so happy.


--Bracketbusters
While only 20 teams that have a shot at the
tournament don't compete in this event, it's
still cool. Plus it gets me to start thinking
teams are better than they are, long before
championship week, allowing me to screw up my
brackets come tourney time! Of Appalchian
State, Winthrop, and Drexel, I'll probably
pick at least one, to reach the elite eight.
I only really got to catch the last fifteen
minutes of Creighton-Drexel, but that was plenty.
Great stuff. Drexellent, some might say! Seriously
Jitter, are you making those shirts yet?


--How the heck does Wade Phillips keep landing jobs? Well, obviously Jerry
Jones needed a patsy, who he could control....enter Wade Phillips.

--If you like The Band, and you should, there's a new tribute album out
called Endless Highway you should look into. This may have been out for
awhile, but I'm usually pretty behind the times. What?! The Democrats
control Congress? Anyways, check the album out. And I'm not just telling you
this because the first track is Guster covering "This Wheel is on Fire"
either. I telling you because the Band is awesome, even when sung during
karaoke in a bar at Niagara Falls. Dan, Javen, you were there. It was
before I fell into that fountain. The album also includes such artists,
as, Death Cab for Cutie, Jack Johnson, Blues Traveler, and Jakob Dylan.
Here's a little taste. It's better if you've seen "The Last Waltz"






--And if your checking that album out on iTunes, you also consider buying
the first season of "MTV's the State". We here at "Bitterness" are huge
fans and have been for over a decade. We have every episode on VHS,
including the subpar, CBS Halloween special. But sadly, with each play,
the tapes inch just that much closer to death. Now you see if the sales
on iTunes are good enough, they will release it on DVD. Now I will buy
it on iTunes, but I want to watch on my teevee. So please help and support
"the state" and their selling of babies on the blakmarket. If you don't
trust our opinion, you can track down some sketches on YouTube, but not
for much longer, as the fat cats at Viacom keep taking them away. Grrrrr!
Here's a little taste:

The State: Monkey Torture

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--As it is still black history month we thought
we'd honor of few more great black persons that
have inspired us here at "Bitterness". So here
we go- Marsha Warfield, Arsenio Hall, Nipsy Russell,
Pedro Cerrano, the kid in Cop and a Half, Louis
Gossett Jr., the Sugar Hill Gang, Rosa Parks,
Johnny Cochrane, Tracy Morgan, George Washington
Carver, Carver High School Basketball, George Foreman,
and Jimmy Walker

-- I think the "Riches" on FX, might not be bad. It's
gotta Eddie Izzard in it, and he's pretty humorous. Plus
if you were drunk and saw him on the street, you could,
possibly mistake him for Ricky Gervais.

-- 9 days until "Wild Hogs" is out in theaters. Mark your
calendars accordingly.

BACK IN BLACK II

We know you've been eagerly awaing to see who the pitchers would be on our 80s All-Black Baseball Team. Well wait no longer, here it is!

STARTERS:
OIL CAN BOYD- What 80s black baseball team would be complete without good ol' Oil Can? Hmmm? Hmmmm?



FERGIE JENKINS- The real Fergilicious is right here. He'd probably be the fifth starter in this rotation as by the 80s he had been around a long time and was pretty old.



DAVE STEWART- Although growing up as a Red Sox fan, I really hated Dave Stewart, he was good, and deserves to be in the rotaion!



DWIGHT GOODEN- Ahhh, Doc Gooden. He went from brilliant young phenom, to a, "where are they now?" joke, to pitching a no-hitter in Yankee Stadium, back to obscurity, to retirement. But in his first few years he sure could pitch! Plus late in his career he would have to deal with the taunts of, "Ehhhhh, What's Up Doc?!"





VIDA BLUE- This is one of my favorite 80s baseball names of all-time, right up there with his new teammate Razor Shines!


RELIEVERS:
FRED TOLIVER- We've never really heard of Fred Toliver, but we needed to fill spots and he's black, so guess what? Fred, you win!


FLOYD YOUMANS: Known for doing his Yeoman's share of the work in Montreal, Floyd had several seasons of not-so-bad to mediocre efforts. And that's good enough for us! Welcome aboard Floyd!


RUDY MAY- The picture says it all. He was a pure intimidator, or so we would guess. Sweet glasses, an afro that won't quit! His only flaw of course being that he played for the Yankees. But look at the picture! How could we pass that up! He looks a high school science teacher from the 70s!


ROY LEE JACKSON- With name like Roy Lee Jackson, you know this guy was all business on the mound, and thus must be the perfect set-up man for our squad!



LEE SMITH- There is not a better black man from the 80s to have at the end of your bullpen. We've always liked Lee, with his squinting and lights-out pitching. He would say, "Spectacles be damned!" Okay that perhaps, never happened. But why else would he be so squinty?!


And there you have an 80s baseball tribute to black history month!

TIM HARDA-GAY-BASHER?

Tim Hardaway gets thrown into the mix ofthose eligible formost unenlightened ignorant person on the planet. If you haven't heard already, here's the deal: Recently, former glorified NBA backup John Amaechi, came out of the closet. Amaechi stated that the NBA players do not provide an envionment where homosexuals can feel safe. Then along comes Tim Hardaway. The former guard replied to Amaechi's remarks with this,

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people," he said while a guest on Sports Talk 790 The Ticket. "I'm homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."
Then when asked how he would react to having a gay teammate, he responded with:

"First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that is right. I don't think he should be in the locker room while we are in the locker room."

Well his ignorance aside, he played against Amaechi and had no idea he was gay, soooo......what's the difference? Now sure it's really hard to tell Amaechi's, gay, because he's British, but nonetheless. And should someone who dubbed their move, "the UTEP two-step," really be casting stones? Two-step? C'MON, not very manly Timothy. I mean who among us hasn't exhibited "gay" tendencies? Watched Trading Spaces or sung, It's Raining Men," in the shower? But, of course, just because no one else has come out, that does not mean their aren't more gay players in the NBA. So, for Tim Hardaway, here are some players who have seen his "junk" in the locker room, who just may be gay:


Sarunas Marciulionis- What happens in Lithuania, stays in Lithuania!




Chris Gatling- He just loves to accessorize, the headband is just the tip of the iceberg!





BJ Armstrong- BJ had a certain flambouyance on and off the court, plus his name dowsn't even start with a "B". It's rumored that he was given the nickname, for some reason or another, and then legally changed his name so it would seem like they stood for his first and middle name.*




Bimbo Coles- Okay, just wanted a reason to get Bimbo Coles in a blog.








John Crotty- To suave not to be gay, am I right?


Todd Fuller- A picture's worth a thousand words.





Avery Johnson- JACKPOT!!!







Just to clarify, we here at "Bitterness" are not homophobic, nor do we really think any of these gentlemen are actually gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. And if anyone was offended by this post, oh well. The point we're trying to get across is, to not judge people. Tim Hardaway is an ignoramus. Stereotyping and judging can be very dangerous and stupid, and we here at "Bitterness" will not be stand for such atrocities! In the future we will stay away from these sweeping generalizations and sterotypes!

Jew, Italian and Red Head Gay

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*Information about BJ Armstrong's name change was completely fabricated for the purpose of humor.

BACK IN BLACK

Yes, in honor of black history month we have decided to honor the purest of all athletes, 80s basball players! Of course, we should have this precursir, that none of these selections were made using any sort of statistics. Therefore they may not be what you would call "the best" player at each position. So here it is the 1980s All-Black Team:

CATHCER- This was probably the easiest position of them all to fill, as surpisingly there are not that many black cathers? So we of course went wityh Lloyd McClendon and Darrel Miller (yes, Cheryl Miller's brother). While both were primarily back-ups in their careers, we feel that the rest of the line-up will cover them up well enough.

















FIRST BASE- Willie Upshaw was a stud for the Blue Jays and we needed him on this squad, for sure. Now we picked up another solid hitter by the namr of Gerald Perry, but we needed a little more pop so, we picked up Alvin Davis! As you will see later, Perry can also play third, so that may be where he gets most of his playing time.



























SECOND BASE- I don't see how it couldn't be former ESPN analyst, Harold Reynolds. And the whole being "let go" do to sexual harrassment, only raises his stock. Backing him up will be the one and only Johnny Ray! He makes this squad because he's in two "hit" song. Of course there's Come on Eileen (also a pretty artistic porno) wher they sing, "Poor 'ol Johnny Ray!) clearly talking about how his finances were frittered away after his playing day. His name would also come back into the mainstream, thanks to Jimmy Ray (no relation) as he asked the world, "Are you Johnny Ray?" To which we at "Bitterness" replied, "We wish! Our apologies to Frank White and Jerry Browne, who did not make the cut, but are poised to appear in the 80s Baseball Players rendition of Reservoir Dogs.



















THIRD BASE- Although, in my mind he was a shortstop, he did play third base for part of his career, so we would be remiss to not include one Mister Hubie Brooks. Darnell Coles may be a late addition, but we know Gerald Perry being super-versatile as he is, can play third and first, so Darnell may not make the cut.






SHORTSTOP- This was a tough choice, so we decided, since shortstop is usually the most athletic player in the field that we'd have three...Andres Thomas, Rafael Santana, and Steve Jeltz. They would probably rotate the starting spot, but I think Andres Thomas and Stevie Jeltz would get the nod more often than not due to the amount of Soul-Glo they used. With Rafael utilized more as a utility man. Just missing the cut Shawon Dunston and Alfredo Griffin.





























LEFTFIELD- The name says it all with our starting leftfielder, Chet Lemon. Not that he was a Lemon or anything, but how could you keep tha name, of this team? It's like un-American or something! We also want Lloyd Moseby and Jeffrey Leonard on the squad. Leonard would probably mostly platoon at DH, as fielding was not as good as Lloyd's. And yes we now LLoyd, can we call him LLoyd, played mostly center, but we felt he would could really maximixe our defense with him in left.





























CENTERFIELD- While there were a lot of players to choose from, there are only 2 black centerfielders that could play on the "Bitterness" All 80s Black baseball team. The question was who would be number one and who would be coming off the bench. Now, after much thought and consternation, we have decided. Our starting centerfielder will be Odibe McDowell, with Gary Pettis coming off the bench. Odibe had a career year in my 1988 Strat-o-Matic game, hitting an eye-popping .347, plus his name is Odibe, which is probably how mushmouth from Fat Albert would say "Odie" from the Garfield comic.












RIGHTFIELD- Although he did taint his carrer by going to the Yankees, we felt he still deserved to be here. So congratulaitons to Chili Davis, for becoming our staring rightfielder! He will be backed up by one of the best 80s names of all-time, the one and only, Mistah Razor Shines! Know 80s team would be complete without this man on their team in some capacity!









DESIGNATED HITTER- We weren't gonna have a DH, but we needed Jorge Orta on this squad!






We will do the pitchers later, as this post as already pretty darned long. And of course we want all those black 80s baseball players who read "Bitterness" and didn't make the cut, like Franklin Stubbs, Larry Herndon, Darryl Strawberry, Pedro Gurerro and Tony Bernazard, to know that they are smart enough, good enough and dawg gonnit people still really like you!