SOUPER BOWL ONE

THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, YOU'VE HEARD RUMORS, YOU'VE WAITED PATIENTLY AND HERE IT IS, FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE. SOUPER BOWL ONE IS HERE! IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY NO ROMAN NUMERALS, WELL APPARENTLY THE NFL HAS THE HOLD ON THOSE BAD BOYS, SO WE JUST WROTE OUT THE NUMBER. ANYWAYS MOVING ON, HERE WE GO. BUT WHAT IS THIS SOUPER BOWL THING ANYWAYS, YOU MAY BE ASKING YOURSELF? WELL IT IS THE MENU OF PLAYERS, PAST AND PRESENT, FROM THIS YEAR'S SUPER BOWL COMBATANTS. AS IN FOOD MENU. YOU COULD REALLY CALL IT THE ALL-FOOD LINE-UP. CONFUSED, WELL JUST HANG TIGHT AND YOU'LL SEE:

COLTS:
JACK TRUDEAU-NUTS-QB- MMMMM! TRU-DEAUNUUUUTS! ARRRRRGHHHH!

JOSEPH QUES-ADDAI-LLA-RB- THIS FINE MEXICAN TREAT IS AVAILABLE IN STEAK OR CHICKEN AND COMES WITH SOUR CREAM AND SALSA

ROOSEVELT POTTS-ROAST-RB- JUST IKE MOM USED TO MAKE. SERVED WITH COOKED CARROTS AND MASHED PO-CATO-S

JIM CHICKEN FINN-GERS-FB- FRIED GOLDEN STRIPS OF CHICKEN WITH YOUR CHOICE OF BARBECUE OR HONEY MUSTARD SAUCE.

RICKY EGG PROEHLS-WR- THIS CHINESE TREAT BROUGHT STATESIDE AND PACKED WITH FLAVOR JUST FOR YOU!

RON SOLT POTATOES-OL- THESE ARE GOOD WITH A MEAL OR JUST ON THEIR OWN.

QUENTIN CORYATT-ACHOKE DIP-D- THIS IS COURSE SERVED WITH PITA TOM WILLIS BREAD TO DIP!

CHAD BRATZKE-LIME PIE-D- FRESH MADE WITH ONLY THE MOST KEYEST LIMES AVAILABLE

RYAN LA CASSE-ARROLE-D- GET THE THREE BEAN OR THE TUNA, THEIR BOTH APPETIZING AS ALL HECK.

JUNE PO-CATO-SKINS-D- FRIED POTATO SKINS TOPPPED WITH CHEESE AND BACON, SERVED WITH SOUR CREAM.

ASHLEY AMBROSIA-D- OKAY. A WEIRD DESERT THAT WE'RE PRETTY UNSURE OF. BUT IT WAS MENTIONED IN EDWARD SCIISSORHANDS AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR US.

ADAM VINATIERI-AKI CHICKEN-K- A BAKED CHICKEN BREAST, BASTED IN DELICIOUS TERRYAKI SAUCE. WHO COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE.

DEAN BIA-SUSHI-K- RIGHT FROM THE OCEAN TO YOUR PLATE, PRETTY MUCH. UNAGI, EEL AND OTHER TREATS FROM THE BLUE.

AND OF COURSE DON'T FORGET THE COLT SLAW!

BEARS
STEVE STENSTROM-BOLI-QB- BEEF, CHEESE, ONIONS, PEPPERS AND TOMATOES PACKED INTO A DELCIOUS CRUSTED BREADY POCKET. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

SLOPPY AYANBEDEJO-RB- WHILE THE PLAY OF THIS PRO BOWLER IS ALWAYS NEAT, THIS SANDWICH CAN GET THE BEST OF YA IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL, SO HAVE YOUR NAPKINS READY!

JASON MCKIE-RONI AND CHEESE-FB- WE HERE AT "BITTERNESS" LOVE OUR MAC AND CHEESE, SO THIS IS A MUST ON ANY MENU!

MATT CHOP SUHEY-RB- THIS SUEY IS CHOPPED TO PERFECTION, BELIEVE YOU ME!

RASHAAN SALAAM-I AND CHEESE SUB-RB- MUCH LIKE IT'S NAMESAKE, THIS SANDWICH ISN'T BOUND TO STICK WITH YOU FOR TOO LONG, SO HAVE SOME PEPTO HANDY!

BLUE-BERRIAN PIE-WR- BAKED FRESH, ALMOST DAILY, WITH JOHN HAND PICKED BLUEBERRIES AND TOPPED WITH WHIPPED CREAM.

OLIN-GUINI-KREUTZ- OL- THESE NOODLES COME PILED HIGH ON YOUR PLATE AND CAN BE PREPARED WITH CLAM OR MARINARA SAUCE.

MARK BEEF BORTZ-D- BEEF + BORSCHT= YUMMY!

ROBERTO GARZAGNA-D- LAYER UPON LAYER OF NOODLES, MEAT, AND RICOTTA CHEESE, BAKED TO PERFECTION.

WILBER MAR-SHELLS AND CHEESE-D- THESE SHELLS MELT IN YOUR MOUTH. TOPPED WITH A FINE CHEESE SAUCE THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY DELECTABLE.

CHICKEN TENDUER-SONS- DB- THESE CHICKEN TENDERS ARE FRIED TO PERFECTION AND SERVED WITH A BRILLIANT HONEY MUSTER SAUCE.

AND IF THE HELPINGS ARE TOO BIG, YOU BRING SOME HOME AND PUT 'EM IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR PERRY FOR THE NEXT DAY!

WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT SOUPER BOWL ONE IS IN THE BOOKS. LET'S HAVE A GOOD GAME OUT THERE FOLKS! HOPEFULLY THE SUPER BOWL MENU DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF TURNOVERS ON IT. WELL,HAVE FUN. AND IF YOU'RE GONNA DRINK AND DRIVE, DRIVE FAST. GET OFF THE ROAD AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. JUST KIDDING, WE HERE AT "BITTERNESS", IN NO WAY ENCOURAGE SOMETHING LIKE THAT. BE SAFE OUT THERE FOLKS. GO COMMERCIALS!