Thursday, February 22, 2007


Well it's just about that time. The Academy Awards are right around the corner, but here at "Bitterness" the Oscars are upon us. Here is our salute to Oscars.

Oscar Gamble played in the majors for 17 seasons as a Yankee, White Sock, Cub, Phillie, Indian, Padre, and Ranger. Wow! As a Yankee he was forced to shed his beloved afro, due to the teams policy on long hair. While we here at 'Bitterness" only wish that he had played in this day and age with Scott Proctor. Proctor and Gamble? Nice. Of course we would be remiss if we didn't also mention the one and only Oscar Azocar. Azocar was also a Yankee. A career .226 hitter, Azocar never met a pitch he didn't like. It took Azocar a hundred at-bats before he even manged to draw a walk. Oh yeah and there's of course the Golden Boy, Oscar delaHoya. He is one of the most notable boxers around. We don't follow boxing, but we know his name, that's how we know he's famous.

Of course there have been several well-known Oscars throughout television history. Jack Klugman's portrayal of Oscar Madison in the Odd Couple and Jeffrey Tambor in his role as Oscar Bluth on Arrested Development. Quite possibly the two finest portrayals of an 'Oscar" in the history of television, by two of the finest actors in the long span of television history. Oscar Madison was a sloppy sportswriter thrust into living with his neatnik friend Felix Unger. Together they formed quite an....odd......couple. Oddly enough Tambor played an odd couple himself. He was both the laid-back, hippie, pot-smoking Ocscar Bluth and his scheming, power-hungry twin brother George Bluth. Both brilliant performances.

Of course great "Oscars" are not limited to the boob-tube. The big screen has had its fair share of Oscar performances. Now, before jack Klugman, also tv's Quincy, brought Oscar Madison to the little screen, it was portrayed by Walter Matthau on the big screen. You see the hit play and movie was later made into a television hit. This, however, is not the only great movie "Oscar", we've had. Lest we forget Sylvester Stallone in the movie, Oscar. Of course it's a common misconception that Sly played the title role of Oscar. No, no, no, it is Jim Mulholland who plays "Oscar", the man who gets Sly's daughter, played by Marisa Tomei ,pregant. There is plenty of misunderstandings and crazy antics make this a wild romp, you won't want to look away from. Ironically, Oscar never even received an Oscar nomination? Obviously they didn't watch the movie.

Now, writing has seen some great Oscars as well. There's Oscar Wilde and Oscar Hammerstein II. Now while both are world renown, we realized the most we knew about Oscar Wilde was his name and that Tim Hardaway would hate him. Meanwhile Hammerstein is responsible for some of the greatest musicals of all time, but Tim Hardaway hates musicals as well. Interesting.

Now the name "Oscar"'s most notable contribution to music had tohave come from OscarMelendez. Not even a contest in this category. "Who is Oscar Melendez," you may be asking yourself? C'mon! He was in the original Menudo for crying out loud! Now this was pre- Ricky Martin, Menudo, as the band had frequent turnover. When a member hit 16 they were out, but Oscar was one of the innovators who laid the foundation for the original, and best, boy band. We are not sure if Oscar was with the group when they appeared alongside Ricky Schroeder in Silver Spoons. Without Menudo, there may never have been a NKOTB, LFO, O-Town, Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, or 98 Degrees. So, I think I can speak for Oscar and the rest of the original group, when I say, 'You're welcome."

And how could you possibly honor "Oscars" without mentioning Oscar Mayer. Is there anyone out there who doesn't know the Oscar Mayer bologna song? And who among us, hasn't wished, they, themselves were an Oscar Mayer weiner. By far one of the biggest innovators of, well, ever. And nevermind the hot dog car. Forget about it!

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