Thursday, February 08, 2007

THE BIG DAY!

Well, here it is, announcement day. Many of you have been eagerly awaiting the big announcement for quite some time now. Several of you have even speculated what you thought the announcement would be. So let's take a look at what some of these guesses:

MOVING: Nope, "Bitterness" is staying right where it is at the moment. For now it suits us just fine!

PREGNANCY: Good gosh no! We're not pregnant, we've just been retaining an awful lot of water lately.

MARRIAGE: Marriage is the punishment for shoplifting in some third world countries! That's true. Not to say we'll stay single forever. Rest assured when the time comes all my loyal readers will be invited and the reception will be catered with the McDonald's Dollar Menu to get an open bar, if we have to.

RETIREMENT: No, no. We still have many years of blogging ahead of us before we put down the keyboard.

While those are all good guesses, alas, they are all wrong. You see, sometime ago I realized that "Bitterness", while cutting edge, was missing something. What, you ask? Well it was missing some local flavor. We looked at Electric City Paul and said, "We need something like this for the beloved Salt City!" So, the solution? It was time to take on a protege from right here in Syracuse, to help out. EUREKA! But how would we find this soul? Well through an underground audition we dubbed Blogger Idle. Now we took in tens of applicants looking to join the "Bitterness" family, a part of the StopNetwork. Now much like American Idol, the winner pretty much is owned by "Bitterness". We would be their editor in chief, and internet liason. Now of course we would need someone with a style very similar to "Bitterness" and one that is becoming of our good name. Here were the Elite 8:

ORANGE JEWS: While we of course love the wordplay, we felt this blogger was a little too one dimensional and we want all religions to be represented.
PEARL WASHINGTON'S LOVE CHILD
ORANGE CRUSH: This was a good effort, but there was just something missing.
HUNGRY CHARLEY: While we love the reference to the former SU haunt, but this didn't quite have the flair we were looking for.
RED, WHITE, BLUE AND ORANGE
THE FIN BIN: While there's no better place to get tanked,this one was a little too LeMoyne heavy.
DESHAIES LOUNGE: Wow, hard to believe we passed on a blog with a play on words referencing an 80s baseball player, who played his college ball at LeMoyne. But we did.

But the winner of "Bitterness" Blogger Idle and newest member of the StopNetwork is (drum roll please)....................SALT CITY SAUL.
Now as I said, we own Saul and as a result all his blog posts must go through "Bitterness", so don't be alarmed when you see this new blog pop up with the same profile, picture and profile name as "Bitterness". That's how it works. This way "Bitterness" can maintain complete creative control and in return Saul gets handed the many, many loyal members of "Bitterness" Nation.

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