Wednesday, February 07, 2007


That's right, it's time for the very first edition of "Bittereness" Round-Offs. But, what the heck are "Round-Offs" anyway? Well in our mind, an actual round-off, is a modified cartwheel, much like you can see the oompa-loompa's doing in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. But here at "Bitterness" it's something slightly different. You see we here at "Bitterness" have found that often times we have a lot of blogworthy things from many different areas of life, and need to kind of hit on many things bouncing from topic to topic and so Round-Offs is how we'll be doing it. You know it'll be like our quick-hit thoughts, but we didn't want to steal anyone else's term for it, so we came up with "Round-Offs". And with February being one of our busier times of year, we decided now was a goodtime to start. So away we go:

-- In my slighly altered, post Super Bowl state, I put together a Blooper, er, Super Bowl recap and neglected one of the most awesome things of all that ocurred during the game. I think you know what I'm talking about here people. That's right: Wild Hogs. This only looks like the best movie of the year so far. If you don't know what I'm talking about, let me paint you a picture: Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy as chums who embark upon a motorcycle road trip together. Awesomeness personified, am I right?! Also among the supporting cast, Mr. John C. McGinley. You know "Bitterness" will be there opening night!

-- Yaz. Now for those of you who here that name and think of Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski, while you are right, that's not what we're talking about. Nope. You see Yaz is now, "the first and only birth control pill with proven efficay for the emotional and physical symptoms of PMDD." Yes that's right Yaz birth control! Look for the world of baseball and feminine products to come together more often. Upcoming products include Iron Horse tampons, Shoeless Joe Diaphragms, "The Mick" douche and of course Cal Ripken's Everyday Sponge.

-- In college hoops, the "Bitterness" MAAC team of choice, Iona, is trying their darndest to lose every single game this year. They had been very successful so far, but finally won a game, defeating Rider on Saturday. Which leaves only one school who hasn't yet beaten another D-I school, North Florida, who are 0-20 against D-I schools. The Ospreys almost got over the hump, but Chris Timberlake missed a lay-up late in the game and the mighty Savannah State prevailed last week. Timberlake?

-- That's right, the Grammy's are this Sunday, featuring the one and only Justin Timberlake. Sadly "Bitterness" did not make the cut to sing with JT at the awards show. Drat. But the Police will be there, so we may check that out. Other than that, the Grammy's are more or less pointless and awful. I mean really this is about the worst awards show ever, and I'm including the ESPYs. The fact that bands like Local H, The Butthole Surfers, Primus and Seven Mary Three have no Grammys on their shelves just shows what a travesty this show is. I mean maybe if they had a real talent like Eccentric to host, then it would be worth watching.

-- Sadly, Eccentric didn't make it to Hollywood on American Idol, well other than the fact he tried out in Hollywood, but being an octuple threat is sure to make him the next household name.He does it all- sings, writes, dances, models, acts, choreographs, draws and of course does a kick butt panther impersonation. We're not positive, but we think he is a lock in the Thundercats live action movie.

-- We were sad that Jake "The Snake", the very last auditioner they showed, didn't move on. I mean everyone else we know named Jake "The Snake" is pretty awesome. Jake "The Snake" Plummer and the original and best Jake "the Snake" of all, Jake Roberts. Among his musical influences, why Axl Rose of course. Axl was an American idol, long before there was a show to find them. Hey Axl, when you gonna drop Chinese Democracy on us, buddy?

-- Naw, dawg! You don't blast Randy Jackson! Anyone who was in Journey is a god and should be treated as such!

-- I'm utterly perplexed as to why I like American Idol? And apparently I am not alone. I mean, I hate the music and the people. Go figure.

-- In Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback he mentioned how by not kicking a late field goal, Tony Dungy may have angered many gambling types, as this would affect the over/under for the game. Mr. King says that the score at the time was 29-17 and the over/under mark was 38. Okay Peter, let's help ya out. 29+17= 46. 46 is greater than 38, therefore the over had already been covered. Apparently they don't teach math at Joe Blow School of Journalism and VCR Repair, where PK obviously got his degree from. A less bitter person would assume this were a typo and the over was actually 48, but luckily we're not that typo of person. See what I did there?

-- Apparently the NHL had an All-Star game? No Whalers, Canucks, or Jets were on the rosters. Here's a fun tidbit, the grassroots campaign for Rory Fitzpatrick to be voted to the All-Star game was started by a friend of a friend, that my girlfriend hates. Small world.

-- Everyone's always talking about the MVC, but watch out for the CAA. VCU, Hofstra, Old Dominion and Drexel are all dangerous teams come March. And we know of a certain rather tall American, who would be feeling just Drexellent if the Dragons made the Big Dance.

-- Speaking of the Big Dance....SU's chances get iffier and iffier with each passing day. Can someone take over and close a game for goodness sakes! Hopefully they'll be able to summon the spirits of Marius Janulis, Rock Lloyd, JB Reafsnyder, Todd Burgan and Jason Cipolla to help them get to the tourney.

-- Caught that new show, Rules of Engagement, with David Spade, Patrick Warburton and Oliver Hudson. Not bad, I've given it a three show guarantee. Meaning I'll watch it at least three times before I make my official judgement.

-- Speaking of television, you want some quality viewing on a Saturday morning? Tune to ABC Family. 9-10am Full House, 10-11am Boy Meets World, 11am-noon Grounded for Life. Now that's some quality programming.

This has been "Round-Offs"

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