FAYGO FUTILE FIFTEEN

15. DEANGELO HALL: I'll take "Overrated Football Players" for $800 Alex.
This cornerback, known for talking "smack", could not cover the broad side of a barn. (Bing) Who is DeAngelo Hall? That is correct, please select the next answer.

14. NFL QUARTERBACKS: Of the 32 quarterbacks who started on opening day, 16 have appeared on the injured list. Two, have since lost their starting jobs. Plus one, Marc Bulger, lost his job for a week. Surprisingly, and annoyingly for Raiders fans, JaMarcus Russell is not one of those quarterbacks to miss time this season.

13. KEYSHAWN JOHNSON'S NEW SHOW: Get the TiVo ready, apparently Keyshawn is going to "tackle" interior design. Why wouldn't he? What's next? A cooking show with Deion Sanders? Gardening with Shannon Sharpe? We can only hope.

12. CINCY BIG WIGS: Can someone please check the pulse of the Bengals front office? I mean are actual people in those offices? Or is just a bunch of chain smoking chimps? And Cincy fans thought they were sitting pretty once all of Jon Kitna's wisdom was implanted in Carson Palmer's cranium. Looks like, not so much.

11. BRONCOS DEFENSE: It's called tackling drills! Look into it.

10. TEXANS: You lose 41-13 to the Raidesr, you get a spot in the "Faygo Futile Fifteen". All of a sudden the up and coming Texans have been disappointing. Kub eat now?

9. JAKE DELHOMME: Jake, Jake, Jake, not gonna beat a lot of teams with a QB Rating of 12. Although, interesting that without DeAngelo Hall, the Raiders defense holds the opposing quarterback to a miniscule rating. Hmm?

8. RAIDERS: I'm all for giving people a chance, but at some point the Raiders have to start looking for another quarterback. I mean they cut DeAngelo Hall, right? If they are gonna continue with Russell leading the way it'll be more like the "silver and bleak" than the "silver and black."

7. LARRY JOHNSON: I know Larry, apparently spitting on women is a crime, who knew?

6. CHIEFS: They just keep on inching closer and closer to that second victory. Maybe Herm Edwards just likes high draft picks?

5. AL DAVIS: Big Al is still dispensing crazy faster than any other owner in the NFL.

4. SEAHAWKS: Well, good news for Jim Mora, Jr., if this is how Mike Holmgren is gonna leave the Seahawks, expectations will be pretty low for "Playoffs!" Junior next season. Might wanna look for a solid backup QB in the offseason if everyone keeps hasslin' the beck.

3. JIM HASLETT'S 360 DEGREE TURN: It was fun while it lasted wasn't it? After that fast start, the Rams have returned their abysmal, pitiful, downright awful form. All those two wins did was hurt their draft position. They may have to pick as low as seven, come April. Yikes!

2. RAMS: See above.

1. LIONS: Duante Culpepper? Really? Matt Millen could've made that move. What, Kordell Stewart was unavailable?