Monday, November 17, 2008

FAYGO FUTILE FIFTEEN


15. VINTAGE FAVRE?: Is anyone in the media ever going to admit that Favre is no longer God's gift to football? Its like he throws an interception, and the media's all, "Only Brett Favre could have the savvy to make that throw." If Brett Favre was ever thinking of killing someone, now would be the time.

14. BEARS: Surprisingly, this was Lovie Smith first loss as a head coach at Lambeau. But, oh what a loss it was. What happened to that super duper Bears defense, eh?

13. THE COLTS BEING BACK: No doubt the Colts offense looked impressive on Sunday. But the Bob Sanders-less defense looked, well, unimpressive. And let us not forget it was against the Texans. Yes that same, mighty, Texan defense that held the Ravens to 41 points last week. That very same, feisty, Texan squad that had lost back-to-back games, and came in with that very deceiving 3-6 record. Yes, that Texan team, folks.

12. ROMO'S FINGER: Romo's magical finger amazingly guides the 'Boys over the 'Skins? Yeah, right. Funny, I don't recall seeing Romo playing defense, did you? There's a slight chance they would have been in this game even with Brooks Bollinger under center.

11. RAVENS IMPENETRABLE RUN DEFENSE: The Giants quickly dismissed this notion, but Trevor Pryce was more than happy to explain, "The way it happened was a fluke." Thanks Trevor, I guess that sums it up.

10. NFC NORTH: The Bears were the "class" of the division, until they got trounced by the Packers on Sunday. It seems like no one wants to win this division. One week the Bears are the team to beat and the Vikings were on the rise. Next week the Packers are the team to beat and the Vikes are back down. The only safe bet in the division is that the Lions are not the team to beat.

9. JETS "PREVENT"?: I'm only talking about the last Patriots drive here, but when Matt Cassel puts up four hunny on ya, chances are you weren't playing too tight in the secondary. But on the Patriots last drive, the Jets let the Pats easily march right down the field. But then, THEN, after dry humping randy Moss up and down the field all night, they lay off him. Huh? Well, not surprisingly, Moss caught the game tying touchdown on that very play. The Jets ended up winning, but had they lost that coin toss in overtime, who knows?

8. KYLE ORTON: Orton was a mere 13-26 for 133 yards completing just two passes to a wide receiver. Suddenly Orton is not looking like the Bears savior at QB, now is he?

7. NFC WEST TEAMS NOT RHYMING WITH FARDINALS: Sure the Niners won this week, but it was against the Rams, and in Donovan McNabb's mind, someone had to win that game. Although if there would have been the perfect place for a tie it would've been in that one. Anyways, it looks like the NFC West could manage to get three of the first ten draft picks come Spring.

6. TIES: I'm not talking about changing the rules here, I'm talking about ties in general. I mean, come on, everyone knows a tie is like kissing your sister.

5. DAVID GARRARD: Another lackluster showing for the Jaguars and Garrard was the lacklusterest. Yeah, I said it and no, it is not a real word. And?

4. RAIDERS: I think this is pretty self explanatory here. So why don't ya go ahead and make your own Raiders "diss", as the kids say.

3. LIONS: We'll have to get Stat Man John to figure out the probability of the Lions winning a game this season. I'd be willing to wager it's not a high probability and yes I realize they do have the one and only Duante Culpepper, now.

2. MCNABB'S KNOWLEDGE OF THE RULES: This has certainly been beaten into the ground, but how can a professional football player not know that the game can end in a tie? But it wasn't just McNabb who was unaware of the quirky "tie" thing. DeSean Jackson and Correll Buckhalter were also baffled, as was Andy Reid, who had this to say, "I've never been in a tie, so I don't know how it works in the standings?" At what point do people start wondering how in the hell Andy Reid even got to a Super Bowl?

1. RAMS: Jim Haslett said it all in his postgame words, "I'm perplexed." Well, I guess that could be taken in regards to many things. I don't know what's so perplexing, really. Your team sucks at football and you suck at coaching football. See? Simple.

1 comment:

  1. I have come to the conclusion that the media (not just the sports media, but the collective media as a whole) is just a bunch of retards that think hard hitting coverage of dancing with the stars, Lindsay Lohan's sexual orientation, and People's Sexiest Man is "good news coverage". Nothing makes me angrier than the fact that the first thing I see when I open Yahoo to check my email is a Headline dealing with Amy Winehouse. We get it, she's a cracked out superwhore, let's move on to something new huh?? And not any of that newest shows getting cancelled bit. My Own Worst Enemy gets a pass though. Poor Christian Slater, you used to be so BADASS!!

    ReplyDelete