WEEK THIRTEEN: KITNA CASSEROLE

SEAHAWKS @ COWBOYS: Looks like turkey won't be the only bird the 'Boys will be feasting upon on Thursday. They'll get a fresh plate of Seahawk for an early dinner. Cowboys 31-16


TITANS @ LIONS: Rest assured the Titans will be looking to "squash" the winless Lions on Thursday, especially after having their turkey cooked by the Jets on Sunday. Now, barring some sort of Thanksgiving Day miracle, the Titans will have their way. Titans 27-13


49ERS @ BILLS: Nothing like a trip to Kansas City to right the ship for the Williams. And it don't get much harder this week as the Niners are in town, which should be gravy for the Buffalonians. Bills 31-21


RAVENS @ BENGALS: Probably not gonna be close enough for Matt Stover "Top stuffing" to make a difference in this one. Ravens 27- 17




DOLPHINS @ RAMS: The 'Phins will look to carve up that Rams defense with that carving knife they like to call the Wildcat. And I'm guessing they will. Dolphins 31-10


COLTS @ BROWNS: Its a Cleveland Brown Thanksgiving. With Derek Anderson as Linus. Unfortunately, unlike a nice little half-hour cartoon, there probably won't be a happy, sugary sweet, family friendly ending for the boys from Cleveland. Colts 31-20


PANTHERS @ PACKERS: Well, most people will be Delhomme for the holidays to enjoy this gritty rematch of the 1997 NFC Championship Game. But that was over a decade ago, so the faces have sure changed. Kerry Collins and Brett Favre have since faded into obscurity and are all but forgotten to football fans. Packers 35-27


RAIDERS @ CHIEFS: Is there a better Thanksgiving match-up than Raiders versus Chiefs? This match-up basically encapsulates the first Thanksgiving. Raiders, basically a synonym for pilgrims, coming into the land of the Chiefs, of some Native American tribes, and being cordial at first, then proceeding to, in fact "raid", their land and women. So based on history, I'm gonna have to go with America, and the Raiders 24-20




JAGUARS @ TEXANS: This could be a good, close game. Unfortunately in the grand scheme of things, it will be a fairly meaningless game. Both teams have spent the year underachievin' away. So, who will out-underachieve the other? I think it'll be the Jags. In the coin flip game of the week I'm taking the Texans 23-14.


BRONCOS @ JETS: The Jets are your current AFC "it" team and why wouldn't they be after being the first to bring down the Titans? I still think they're overrated. And did you know that teams that beat an undefeated team after week 9 only have a .213 winning percentage in the following game? No? Well, that's cause I made it up. But I could really use a stat like that to "squash" the Jets. I'd really like to say the Jets will get cocky and look like a bunch of turkeys against the Broncos, but, lets be honest, its the Broncos. Jets 34-23




FALCONS @ CHARGERS: The Falcons are flyin' high, but you know the Chargers are gonna be looking to mash Atlanta's potatoes come Sunday. Desperation is a stinky cologne indeed, but not stinky enough. Falcons 28-21


BEARS @ VIKINGS: Its Thanksgiving at the NFC North house. There's one last plate of turkey with all the fixins and three big fellas eying it! When the season end who's gonna be standing there laughing with their mouth full of sausage stuffing, spitting it every which way? I dunno? But for this game I like the Bears 24-20


SAINTS @ BUCCANEERS: Could be do or die time for Saints in this one, while the Bucs need to keep pace with the rest of the playoff contenders. That's all. Nothing witty to go along with this match-up. Really. I got nothing. Honest. I just didn't feel "it" with this one. I no, usually I'm a cornucopia of hijinx and hilarity, but not with this one. Don't really know why? Bucs 28-27


CARDINALS @ EAGLES: Bird day capped off with a bird match-up, how fitting? So McNabb some of that delicious leftover turkey Breaston, maybe some Bertrand "Cran-" Berry sauce, and settle in for a big NFC clash. Unless you are one of the 75% of the nation that doesn't have the NFL Network, of course. In that case, enjoy The Incredibles. Eagles 31-24


STEELERS @ PATRIOTS: A big one at "the Razor". Are the Steelers in for a heaping helping of some three-bean Cassel-role? The Cassel-role Kid has put up back-to-back 400 yard passing games. Or are the Pats gonna get gobbled up by the Steel Curtain? Mmmmm! This match-up is as tasty as some Limas Sweed "Potato Pie"! Pats 24-21




GIANTS @ REDSKINS: The A-"maize"-ing Jim Zorn "on the cob" may not give "Plymouth" Rock Cartwright a ton of touches in this one, but nevertheless it should be a good ol' knock down, drag 'em out affair in the nation's capital. It could all depend on if the Giant's own "Plymouth Rock", Brandon Jacobs is playing and at 100%. Redskins 17-14