Sunday, November 30, 2008

SUNDAY MORNING AUDIBLES



Well, tis that time of year folks!
  • Time for the Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb out of Philly speculations to hit us full force!
  • For the Eagles to slowly fade out of the playoff picture, due to all the McNabb-Reid foofarah.
  • For the Lions to decide who's future they are going to ruin by drafting them come April.
  • For Jim Haslett to try and spruce up the old resume.
  • For a primadonna, let's call him Chad, on a losing team to voice his opinions about upper management and being tired of losing, wanting to play somewhere else, and in no way trying to improve the team by playing better or motivating teammates.
  • For Browns fans to start checking out the Indians offseason activity.
  • For people to start wondering why there aren't more Thanksgiving movies? Or really any about the actual first Thanksgiving? I'm seeing Mel Gibson as Miles Standish? Just use the Braveheart/ Patriot template, but have their victory be supper with the natives. Either that or an action packed romp that will a-maize you! Jason Statham is....The Pilgrim. With Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as Massasoit! Coming Fall of 2010!
  • For Steelers fans to annoy the crap out of you. Well that one's actually all year round.
  • For all the pundits to start comparing teams this season to those of last season. You know like, the Jets are looking a lot like last year's Giants, the Colts are looking a lot like last year's Giants, any team that struggled at the start of the season but is winning now is looking a lot like last year's Giants, and the Rams are looking a lot like last year's, well, Rams.
  • For people to wonder why Wayne Fontes isn't coaching in the NFL?
  • Or why Rod Marinelli is?
  • Or why Marvin Lewis is?
  • Or why Herm Edwards is?
  • For Al Davis to give his army of the undead a few weeks off. Just kidding! He would never give them time off! There are souls to be harvested!
  • For people to get extra mad that there's a Thanksgiving game they can't watch, cause the powers that be don't deem it necessary for everyone to get the NFL Network. Goddamit it's every American's God given right to watch the Eagles and Cardinals play! I'm pretty sure its one of the Amendments to the Constitution.
  • For the Bills to give their fans that small glimmer of hope and once again miss the playoffs. Sorry Bills fans, no disrespect meant, but its true. But let me tell you this, its not your fault......its not your fault.........its not your fault.
  • For America to fall in love with Peyton Manning all over again.
  • For Chiefs fans to wonder when exactly their favorite squad is gonna start rebuilding.
  • For Romeo Crennel to wonder if anyone would mind if he took the last peice of pumpkin pie?
  • For us to watch 8700 Christmas movies that we've already watched 8700 times!
  • For many to question the freshness of all those leftovers in the fridge? Just go by Tom Cable's motto, "if it ain't comletely green its clean!" Yes I know a lot of people are gonna say what about those left over peas and green beans, well the Cable Guy stands by his motto. I mean seriously does he look like I guy who's ordering the "mixed greens" as a side at dinner? Uh-uh. You are looking at slaw (extra mayo, and we don't mean Jerod) or baked bean man right there!
  • Bills fans, its not your fault.
  • For the Patriots to figure out what to get Coach Belichick for Christmas. Drew Bledsoe's still beating heart is high on the list, but by far the most tricky. They may just go with the old standby of a hooded sweatshirt with frayed sleeves. What? You thought that's how Belichick wants to dress? No, no, no. Those sideline outfits are gifts from the boys. Usually its Tedy Bruschi heading up the charge, but sometimes Forehead, I mean Vrabel, helps out. Double B just wears them for his team. Like when your dad wears that ugly light-up tie you got him for Father's Day, even though he hates it. Yeah, so think about that, the next time you make fun of BBs attire.


  • For people to really latch onto those bandwagons! Let's say Arizona and, I dunno, Tennessee? Miami?
  • For everyone to be bombarded with the media's, "Greatness of Favre" segments. Oh wait, that's another all year rounder.
  • For Terrell Owens to blow up! Unfortuantely I don't mean in a literal sense, sorry. I mean in the sense that crazy will come shootin' out his mouth at an alarming rate.
  • For Kerry Collins to break out his very special Egg Nog. Rumor has it he uses actual lighter fluid.
  • Bills fans, I mean it! It is not your fault.
  • For NFL Films to start getting those clever titles and narration ready to encapsulate the seasons of all 31 teams. You're probably wondering about the 31, huh? Well, this is breaking news that only we here at "Bitterness" have, but the Lions have actually seceded from the NFL. Okay, that's not true, but they do suck something awful. Its gonna be hard to put a shine on the Detroit Lions '08-'09 season. Lions Yearbook: If Losing Were Winning, They'd Be Pretty Great! or Lions: Lose or Die Trying! I'm sure they'll come up with something great! Somehow I don't think "The Roar and More" is gonna cut it.


  • For Christmas Berman, see what I did there, to go out and stock up on more ugly suit jackets on sale! Maybe he'll see Craig Sager?
  • And of course, for everyone to wonder just how dominant the Panthers would be if they still had Rae Carruth?

17 comments:

  1. Normally I don't read post on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to take a look at and do it! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thanks, quite nice article.
    Also visit my blog post :: Downtown

    ReplyDelete
  2. Greetings! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection
    of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the
    same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to
    work on. You have done a wonderful job!
    My blog post :: www.divinedestinycareercoaching.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. fantastic points altogether, you just gained a emblem new reader.
    What may you recommend in regards to your put up that you made some days in the past?

    Any sure?
    Here is my web site : Nettoyage et livraison des produits

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is required to get set up? I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost
    a pretty penny? I'm not very web smart so I'm not 100% sure. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Appreciate it
    my web page > Cart

    ReplyDelete
  5. Howdy! This post could not be written much better!

    Going through this post reminds me of my previous
    roommate! He continually kept talking about this.
    I am going to send this post to him. Pretty sure he'll have a very good read. I appreciate you for sharing!
    Have a look at my webpage baby fishing shirt

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am really loving the theme/design of your weblog.
    Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility problems?

    A number of my blog audience have complained about my website not operating correctly
    in Explorer but looks great in Safari. Do you have any recommendations to help fix
    this issue?
    Feel free to visit my weblog - glowballoonsusa.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely wonderful.
    I really like what you've acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it smart. I can not wait to read far more from you. This is really a great website.
    Here is my website - Page Not Found

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi there, I check your blogs regularly. Your humoristic style is witty, keep doing what you're doing!
    Have a look at my web page - Popflops

    ReplyDelete
  9. Woah! I'm really enjoying the template/theme of this blog. It's simple,
    yet effective. A lot of times it's challenging to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and visual appearance. I must say you have done a very good job with this. In addition, the blog loads super fast for me on Opera. Superb Blog!
    Visit my web-site ... http://lacustomfinish.com/contact

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts and I am waiting for your further write ups
    thank you once again.
    my site > Http://Www.Eventsandweddingwishes.Com/?_Escaped_Fragment_=Kauai-Beach-Wedding,-South-Shore/Zoom/MainPage/Imagecs2

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi there, I read your blog like every week. Your story-telling style is witty,
    keep it up!
    Check out my web page ... bagged cotton candy

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am in fact glad to glance at this website posts which contains plenty of useful
    data, thanks for providing such data.
    Look at my web-site ... Office Furniture Toronto

    ReplyDelete
  13. Very descriptive blog, I liked that bit. Will there be a part 2?
    Also visit my web blog : ventrilo hosting

    ReplyDelete
  14. hi!,I love your writing so a lot! proportion we be in contact extra
    approximately your article on AOL? I require an expert on this space to unravel my problem.
    Maybe that's you! Having a look forward to see you.
    Have a look at my web page :: ASSI PLAZA

    ReplyDelete
  15. What's up to all, the contents present at this web site are genuinely amazing for people experience, well, keep up the nice work fellows.
    Take a look at my web page - Papillex.Com

    ReplyDelete
  16. excellent issues altogether, you just received a
    brand new reader. What might you suggest in regards to your submit that you just made a few days ago?
    Any certain?

    My weblog; kitchen appliances online ireland

    ReplyDelete