Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Well, it's been a while since we opened up the good ol' mail satchel, so away we go.

Casey C. of somewhere near the nation's capitol has lots to say, Just wanted to let you know you're my bathroom reading material at work (there's more). True Story, I would often place Dan Orlovsky in the starting lineup when using the Detroit Lions when playing Madden against my buddy Matt. Now, before you cry blasphemy about not using Kitna, a previous matchup against Matt involved a 5 interception game from Kitna, not to mention a few horribly underthrown deep balls. **Sidenote** Actually numbers of picks thrown may vary as I was all sauced up at the time. Tell you what, if anything that Orlovsky can stretch the field, I think he had an arm strength rating in the mid 60's. He better take those pythons to the vet...cause they're SIIIICK!!! I dunno, I just liked scrambling with him and that's something coming from a guy who likes the classic drop back passer as much as you know I do.

I can't say how much I appreciate that. Don't really know if there is a higher honor in all of the blogosphere, than becoming work day bathroom reader? You can have your bloggies Kissing Suzy Kolber, we're a bathroom reader, now!

As for the Kitna thing, well, your stock dropped back down a bit Casey. And not just for benching the great Jon Kitna (what he lacks in completion percentage and winning, he more than makes up for with a rugged handsomeness!), but also for playing Orlovsky. Drew Stanton is the QB of the future! I don't know what Madden game you're playing, but Drew Stanton has 70 in scramblebility or whatever its called. At least 5 points higher than Orlovsky! So, I would urge you to either use Stanton or a lot of crossing patterns and HB option routes. Or if you wanna win, pick a better team, like the Chiefs.

Buzz from Cortland, NY questions the origin of the "Wildcat" formation's name. I thought the 'Wildcat' offense was named after the Goldie Hawn movie by the same name? Oh those fabulous 80s!!

One thing I know for sure is the 80s were indeed fabulous, especially Goldie Hawn movie wise. As for the 'Wildcat' formation and where it got its name? I was as stunned as anyone to find its origins tying into the good old CNY (Central New York for those not in the know), but that's just what they say, and I can't argue with that. Now I realize there could be a lot of confusion here, because as we all know there are several NFL offensive formations that are named after Goldie Hawn movies. The Colts run the "Overboard" formation. While the whimsical Bill Belicik utilizes the "Private Benjamin" play with Ben Watson, where Benny is a decoy. John Fox often runs "The Protocol". Scott Linehan ran the highly unsuccessful "Death Becomes Her" offense. And of course Rod Marinelli runs the "Foul Play". Hope that clears up some of the confusion.

Paul of Valatie, NY wants to know where the Cubs bashing is- When the Mets imploded and didn't make the 'offs, you were all up in their skillets, but the Cubs, who have been far more futile, flop again and we don't see word one about it? What gives?! Also I love Shirtless Guttenburg!

Touchee. Well Paulie, can I call you Paulie? No? Okay. Here's the thing. The Cubs are my number two team behind the Red Sox, so I am a bit more lenient on them than say, the Mets. But to appease a loyal reader, here are some Cubs digs just for you:
  • Hey Cubs, that really stunk how you were all good during the regular season and then didn't win and stuff.
  • Hey Cubs, you have broken many hearts throughout Wrigley Planet. For shame!
  • Good work Cubs. NOT!
  • Hey Cubs, that sucky team called, they want their losingness back!
  • I mean what in the name of Hector Villanueva were you doing out there, really?!
There we go, that should do the trick. And if didn't? Boom.

Johnny G. of Tampa, FL says, Now that your beloved Sawx are out of the postseason, who do you like in the World Series?

Well Johnny, I know if I say I'm rootin' for the Phils, people will think its out of pure bitterness I may now harbor for the Rays. Nothing could be further from the truth. Well, maybe if I said I thought John McCain would make for a good President of the United States, that would be further from the truth. I actually hold no ill-will towards the Rays. If they weren't battling the Red Sox in the ALCS I would whole-heartedly be rooting them on. They're a young and exciting team led by a crafty, unconventional manager. That being said, I have some good friends who are Phillies fans and I'll be pulling for their squadron of choice. Plus the Phillies have always sort of been one of my gimmick teams. I realize Rays fans have gone a decade without winning, but the Phils fans are closing in on three, decades that is. Besides, you wanna tell a Phillies fan you ain't rootin' for the Phils? I think not. And Santa better deliver this early Christmas present for Phils fans, as he's already on thin ice with "The City of Brotherly Love". So I'm pulling for the Phils.

Jim H. of St. Louis, MO asks, Is this the most parity ever in the NFL? I mean is there any team in the league you think can't win on any given Sunday?

Well Jim, for me to answer your first question I would first have to have some universally accepted definition of "parity" and second-of-ly do some research. I think we all know that both of those things require way more work than I am willing to exert. That being said, it does seem super paritical? parity-ish? It feels like more teams have a chance to win. Yes, even the Lions. Each week, they are closer and closer to winning, sort of. And I can't seem to figure it out, as evidenced by my picks. Let us review. I predicted a low scoring Bears-Vikings game (they combined for almost 90 points), a Colts easy victory (they were creamed), a Saints drubbing of the Panthers (that went the other way), a Jets romp (they lost to the Raiders), a Browns victory (they lost), and a Broncos win (they were crushed at Foxboro). So either this is the most unpredictable NFL ever or I'm a big dumb animal. Could go either way.

B.J. U wants to know, How exactly does Matt Garza get named ALCS MVP? BJ Upton and Evan Longoria both seemed to have a bigger series'. Garza pitched well twice, but one time he was staked to a big lead. What gives?

Oddly enough BJ, I wondered the same thing. I mean watching that series, I didn't feel anyone was better than Upton. He had 4 homers and 11 RBIs, and as a Sawx fan I don't think there's a person I was more scared of in the ALCS. Garza definitely pitched extremely well, no denying that, but I still think Upton was slightly more deserving. But here's the argument for Garza. He won half of the games in the series, pitched phenomenally and won the clincher, which in effect was the Rays' biggest game of the season and for that matter, history. In the big game Upton was hitless. That's what I figure, but BJ, BJ had my vote.

Frank C., from Chicago, IL is curious, What are your thoughts on the DirectTV ads we've been bombarded with throughout the Playoffs on TBS?

What ever Craig T. Nelson says goes! Bring back Coach! He's the only thing not annoying me. My problem with the movie scene ads, like the one featuring Craig T., is that's the only one I get to see. I know they've had others, why can't they at least mix in some of those ones? I mean when they first aired they had a few mixed into the rotation. If they can't bother to make new ones, why not keep up a good mix of the old ones? And if you are gonna make some new ones, may I suggest something with either a Shirtless Guttenburg, Breckin Meyer or Reginald VelJohnson.

The only problem I have with the Frank Caliendo ads, is the same problem I have with the Frank Caliendo Show. And that would be Frank Caliendo. Now, his impressions are top notch, which is great, but when he dresses up like the people he's impersonating that's where I get irked. I mean the one's he actually looks like, like say George Costanza, are fine. But what's the point of him dressing up like Jack Nicholson or Al Pacino when he impersonates them? He doesn't look anything like them! The voices are so spot on, we can get it without the garb. I don't know maybe it's just me. Wait, what was the question?

Annnnndddddd that concludes another "Mail Call".

1 comment:

  1. Never again shall I stray from Kitna. In other related news, I also would often play me a little Charlie Frye when the opportunity presented itself. Gotta love them Zips from Akron!!