MLB STEROID SCANDAL: THE MOVIE

We figure its only a matter of time before there's a sweet made for TV movie on ESPN, TNT or Lifetime about the MLB steroid fiasco. Possible titles include Roids, BALCO, Performance Enhanced, Leonard Part 9, Bud Selig: Blind or Just Daft?, How Did We Not Know?, Muscle Beach, Things Congress Wasted Time and Money on While Our Country Was Involved a War That Had No End in Sight. Oh wait, that last one was actually a hint on Pyramid. Anyway, we here at "Bitterness" thought we'd get the jump on who exactly would be cast in said movie. And away we go!

George Mitchell will be played by ALF's Max Wright














David Doyle of Charlie's Angels fame will portray Victor Conte













The part of Jose Canseco will be played by Lou Ferrigno
















Mark McGwire will be played by Brian Bosworth.












with John Turturro (cause you know he'll be involved. I'm actually surprised he didn't play Dale Earnhardt in 3) as Rafael Palmiero and Benito Santiago



















Alan Tudyk, aka Steve the Pirate or Reverend Veal as Curt Schilling













Steve Gutenberg will be played by Shirtless Steve Gutenberg














Donald Gibb (better known as Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds) as Jason Giambi













I'm sure we could have Giambi lash out at Congress with a good old fashioned, "NEEEEEERDDDSSS!"




World's Strongest Man Jarek Dymek as Roger Clemens
















with Todd Bridges as young Barry Bonds















and "Zeus" Tiny Lister as present day Barry Bonds
















and as Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig



ALF!