Wednesday, October 01, 2008


And now a message from Keith Hernandez, who can still sport fur like nobody's business. Fancy and yet rugged all at the same time!

Dear Mets fans,
I'm Keith Hernandez. I want you to know that I still love each and every one of you. Sure, your spirit has been broken by your lovable "Amazins" for the second consecutive year, but keep your respective chins up! I mean it could be worse, you could be Cubs fans. Ha, ha, ha. I remember a point in time, when my teammates and I were down on our luck. Long odds against. Wanting to cry like little school girls. Written off for dead, as they wheeled out the fat lady for an aria. We could have given up on ourselves, packed it in, headed for home, wept into our pillows, and waited for the sweet release of death, but gal darn it, we didn't, did we? No, we sure didn't. And you know why? Because we all knew that Bob Stanley sucked.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's always darkest before the dawn, every cloud has a silver lining, and there's a Bob Stanley waiting out there for each and every one of you. I know right now you're on the verge of collapse, hearts broken, thinking of switching your allegiance to the Marlins, because every 6 years or so they can produce a World Series championship. But that'll just be a hollow victory for yourselves and everyone will know you jumped on the bandwagon, because everyone knows Marlins fans don't exist. They're as mythical as unicorns, fairies or Alaska. Don't do that to yourselves. Look, right now you just gotta bide your time and keep the faith. It's early in Game 6 and you're panicked, but soon Bob Stanley will be warming up in that metaphorical bullpen, and bing, bam, boom you're back to the promised land! So buck up little campers. Go out, heckle Cubs fans and revel in their misery, cause it can always be worse.

Absolutley yours,
Keith Hernandez

Ladies love him, men want to be him. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Keith Hernandez. You've still got it sir, kudos. I hope this will get Mets fans through the winter.


  1. "Keith Hernandez?!?! I DISPISE Keith Hernandez."

  2. dammit, spelled that wrong, DESPISE!! It just looks weird in all caps is all.

  3. Thank You Keith. Please renew my subscription. Does Keith have that power?

  4. Does Keith have that power? Hahaha! He works on our subscription department, how do you think we got him so quickly?