WEEK NINE: KITNA EVERLASTING

Whooooooooo doggy! Are you ready for some football.....picks! Oh yes! Here we are once again, ready for another week of football and another week of NFL picks from yours truly. Seeing as tomorrow is Halloween, we're gonna go ahead and inject some good ol' holiday spirit into this week's picks! Please try and control your excitement. So away we go with this week's Halloween themed picks!

TEXANS @ VIKINGS: Ah yes a match-up of good costumes here. The Texans are on the move, as are the Vikings. Problem is one team is going one way and the other is going in a whole 'nother direction. Now sure the Vikes have won two out of three, but one of those wins was by two points over the Lions, which to me is a moral loss. Hey if their can be moral victories their can be moral losses I say! Meanwhile the Texans went from down and out to being one of 18 AFC teams who could make the playoffs! Scary, I know. Texans 31-28.

JAGUARS @ BENGALS: The jungle cat match-up of the week right here! At least this week the Bengals can pretend that all those boos they are hearing are just their fans staying in the Halloween spirit. Unless Ryan Fitzpatrick sold his soul to Beelzebub and has a "monster" week, I'm seeing a Jaguars win. Jags 18-6.

BUCCANEERS @ CHIEFS: Maybe if Tyler Thigpen goes as a competent quarterback for Sunday's costume ball the Chiefs have a chance. Let's just say the Bucs "D" is slightly scarier than the Jets'. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Bucs doing the "Monster Mash" on Tyler all afternoon. Bucs 26-9.

RAVENS @ BROWNS: The Browns have been more treat than trick as of late, winners of three of their last four. You think that'll spook Ray Lewis? Heck no! He'll be goblin up Browns like nobody's biz-ness! Ravens 14-12.

JETS @ BILLS: The Bills are haunted by losses in two out of their last three games, but that's no need to panic. Why? Cuz that Jets quarterback, what's his name, has been wearing his full on gunslinger costume this year, which means a spooktacular day for the Bills "D"! Bills 27-17.

CARDINALS @ RAMS: The Rams have risen from their early season grave and could find themselves just a game out of a playoff spot with a win this week! But, like many things, that's easier said than done. The Cardinals have really only been "out" of one game this season, witch is almost not zombie-lievable! Okay that was stretch. Rams 24-23.

FALCONS @ RAIDERS: No, Matt Ryan its not still Halloween, that's what Raiders fans look like all the time. In fact this may be the one time of year they get less weird looks. What, I said less! Falcons 34-13.

LIONS @ BEARS: Bears are good at ghoul-line stands, too bad they won't get a chance to demonstrate that this week against "Cool Whip" and the gang. Bears 27-9.

PACKERS @ TITANS: The Titans at Lambeau, sounds fun. Except this is in Tennessee. I'm not completely sold on the Packers, although they could very well make the playoffs (them and 25 other teams). Something tells me Aaron Rodgers and company are not ready for the "Graveyard Smash" the Titans are gonna bring. I don't know what that means exactly except that the Titans will remain undefeated. Titans 23-20.

DOLPHINS @ BRONCOS: Here's a couple teams that I wish would just go away! Seriously be really good or really bad, JUST MAKE UP YOUR FRICKIN' MINDS! Sorry, I got a little agitated there. This is my "Hate Match-up of the Week", cause I just hate both of these teams as much as I hate the term "Fun Size" they put on those teeeeeenie-tiny candy bars! What the heck is fun about a little-bitty candy bar? "Fun Size" my foot! A "Fun Size" Snickers bar should not be itty-bitty, it should be ginormous! A Zagnut the size of my foot, that's fun! Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah, Broncos 28-22.

COWBOYS @ GIANTS: Starring Kevin Gilbride as "the walrus". If I'm Wade Phillips I'm just flipping a coin before the game to see who starts at QB. I mean against that Giants front seven, will it really make that much of a difference? Will it? Giants 24-16.

EAGLES @ SEAHAWKS: Scary as it may seem, the Seahawks, who have been terrible, are still right in the thick of that bubbling cauldron we like to call the NFC West. However the Eagles are better than every single team in the NFC West and should have no problems dishin' out the candy, if you know what I mean?! And you probably don't. Who does? I dunno. Eagles 37-12.

PATRIOTS @ COLTS: Will this be a "trick"or a "treat" for NBC? Well, I'm guessing people will still watch, cause they don't know what to expect from either squad, and it could still be a close, not necessarily good, but close game. Pats 17-16.

STEELERS @ REDSKINS: Compared to the punishment "Big Ben" has been taking this season, that motorcycle accident a few years back probably seems like a tickle fight now! It won't get much easier here as "Candy" Zorn should have his Potatoskins ready to go, and the hits they'll be bringing won't be "Fun Size" at all! Steelers 7-6.